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Agent641

@[email protected]

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Agent641 ,

Uppercase poops

Agent641 ,

I grew these morning glories and by jove Im gonna eat these morning glories!

Agent641 ,

Waiter asks me: Is everything ok sir?

But when I tell him my marriage is failing, my drinking is out of control, my sex drive is through the floor and I fantasize about dying in my sleep, he looks upset. Like why ask, if you dont wanna know?

Agent641 ,

The loan on my van is paid off, The bank is paying me interest on my savings again, I have a years worth of costco rice stored, and the campsites by the river where i live in my van is empty because everyone too broke to go on holiday. Life is sweet. (No part of this comment is hyperbole)

Agent641 ,

Mechanically, not upgraded, no. But it was an empty van with an aluminium roof rack when I bought it, and I did the fitout myself. Awning, solar panels, batteries, inverter, fridge, shower, ventillation etc.

Agent641 ,

Wrap them in tinfoil for maximum radar cross-section

Agent641 ,

Auditioning for new wife

Agent641 ,

Then netflix makes a true crime docuseries about the murder

Agent641 ,

You skip breakfast for weight management.

I skip breakfast because im too poor to eat.

straightens tie

We are mot the same

Agent641 ,

Its crazy, but here in Aus the supermarkets are the same way. Some supermarkets keep their eggs chilled. Some just leave them on a trestle table in the middle of an aisle. I tend to do whatever the supermarket had been doing when I bought them.

Agent641 ,

But the tie is all i have! Without that id be fully naked!

When the fuck did a mobile hotspot become something you have to pay extra for?

It’s my goddamn motherfucking mobile data and MY PHONE. I should be able to use it however I want. My wifi went down because the greedy, cunt-faced shitbags at Comcast stole taxpayer subsidies to enrich themselves instead of actually providing the service we’re paying for. I tried to switch to a mobile hotspot and my phone...

Agent641 ,

What the fuck? Aussie here. Ive had a dozen phones, both locked to carrier and unlocked, and never been unable to turn on hotspot. Thats madness.

Agent641 ,

It would have been easier to just fix the crashed ship than to build a whole factory to make a new one

Agent641 ,

Factorio

Agent641 ,

Doom? (You cannot prove doomguy wasnt an italian plumber)

Agent641 ,

That will pair nicely with the diarrhea I get from my other poor diet choices.

Agent641 ,

Drinking pickle juice is a dangerous game. Misjudge your jar tilt and one of those slippery bois will just shoot down your gullet and shuffle you off this mortal coil in the blink of a cucumber.

Agent641 ,

We call that oliveholme syndrome

Man reviews Whiskey while his wife is packing her stuff and leaving him in the background (youtu.be)

Here it is. He says “Cindy and I are breaking up” - then proceeds with the review of Laphroaig 10 Year Single Malt Scotch, which he tells us has been his go-to single malt - it’s a “no compromise” Malt, he assures us.

Agent641 ,

I was a scotch drinker back before I got sober. Road tar and dirty socks is as inoffensive as it gets. Truly top shelf stuff.

Agent641 ,

Not worth remembering

Agent641 ,

Man that hooters girl was so mad!

Agent641 ,

TF2NSFW is where its at

Agent641 ,

“Ogg call this style ‘bbw’. Ogg like fat woman, can survive many winter. When Ogg dongdong cold, ogg stick between giant boobies. When ogg ears cold, ogg put head between giant thighs. Ogg think life pretty sweet.”

Agent641 , (edited )

Into The Wild was the most confusing porno I ever watched.

Agent641 ,

Some days it would take ten whole minutes to download a handcrafted ascii art boob.

Agent641 ,

Regular russians are already a trainwreck, so russians gone wild must be a sight to behold

Agent641 ,

Jerboa is great! The rat is my friend.

Agent641 ,

Just like a whale, scraping off barnacles, for greater speed and efficiency

Agent641 ,

Y’all ever watch “The Bay”?

Agent641 ,

Beach too sandy, water too wet.

Brother and sister duo that read mean, outrageous and plain weird product and place reviews. Very funny.

Mysterious Universe

OK buddy this is the podcast that radicalized me. Its also low key turned into a rightwing antivax conspiracy fest, but seasons 1-25 were good. Just stop listening when covid arrives. Moderately funny, good if you like paranormal stuff.

Lets talk about sects

Not funny, actually usually horrifying, but its a great resource for anyone interested in learning about cults around the world and the shit they got up to.

Agent641 , (edited )

Underwear. I mean it would be super weird if you didnt own any underwear, right?

Agent641 ,

The “you wouldnt pirate a car” crowd will be shook when they finally realize " yes we would"

Agent641 ,

Ive been genuinely thinking about getting into business selling dumb stuff exclusively. Dumb tvs, fridges, washers, phones, printers watever. Just a safe online vendor where you know that what you buy wont connect to the internet, need a subscription, or require a credit card on file to work. I just need a business name.

What is a good hobby for a depressed person?

So i still have depression and im constantly bored, i feel like a loser who cant do anything right. I want to let my creativeness out, make something i can share with the world or family, but im probably dreaming too big. I cant stand being depressed and bored, it stinks, everyone tells me to work out but i lack the motivation...

Agent641 ,

I do both. I do lots normal public trails, but theres also a secret spot that I’ve found and been back like 40 times over 10 years. I feel like i know every tree, rock, and stump, but each time, I find something new and interesting. Its a 1sq km area of granite, forest, and stream. So peaceful. Its about 1km off an overgrown, uninteresting logging track, nobody ever goes there but me. In fact Im going back again on sunday, hoping to photograph some rock dragons.

Agent641 ,

Stonks!

Agent641 ,

Actually it uncovers the fact that space cadet pinball was actually a covert mind control and indoctrination tool developed by the NSA.

Agent641 ,

Actually it uncovers the fact that space cadet pinball was actually a covert mind control and indoctrination tool developed by the NSA.

YSK: Browsing "ALL" at work might get you pulled into an office, even with NSFW off.

Why YSK: It appears several Lemmy Instances are flagged as suspicious and at least 1 instance intentionally using the name of ransomware. A couple of the big enterprise monitoring suites (Fortiguard, ZScaler) will flag your account and may end up with you being pulled into an office for an explanation, or worse....

Agent641 ,

Or while connected to work networks

Agent641 ,

Protip use anydesk to connect to your own computer remltely and do personal stuff from there. Then the only link to be severed is anydesk, which can be protected by password and 2fa

Agent641 ,

Back in the day, our collective friend SWIM took the rap for everything. Nobody ever did anything illegal, SWIM did.

Someone

Who

Isnt

Me

Agent641 ,

No we aren’t

OceanGate's cofounder wants to send 1,000 people to a floating colony on Venus by 2050, and says we shouldn't stop pushing the limits of innovation (www.businessinsider.com)

Guillermo Söhnleinm told Insider he has wanted to make humanity a multi-planet species since he was 11 years old, and that OceanGate was part of that ambition.

Agent641 ,

A good start

Agent641 ,

To be fair, game controllers are some of the most robust objects man has ever created

Agent641 ,

“Earth is hard” - Billionaires cosplaying as inventors

Agent641 ,

“Once again, the ransom payment is on time.”

Agent641 ,

Sounds tough. I dont even know how to find and catch wild ramens.

Agent641 ,

Hello there

what are .webp files and why has my online experience been plagued by them?

I don’t know what a .webp file is but I don’t like it. They’re like a filthy prank version of the image/gif you’re looking for. They make you jump through all these hoops to find the original versions of the files that you can actually do anything with....

Agent641 ,

Just fullscreen them and screenshot with Greenshots lmao

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