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programmer_humor

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johannes , in No common rube

Only to login and see rhat they actually didn’t restart. They just said so because they think you wont find out 😂

Blackmist ,

Told somebody to restart and they just went “OK, done it” like 2 seconds later. In the HDD era.

Turns out they just turned the monitor on and off. 👍

Sabata11792 ,

"Yes I rebooted."

  • The guy that somehow managed to survive 180 days of random power outages.
Theharpyeagle ,

I feel like there’s a specific peak between total technical ignorance and a weary understanding of how fickle technology can be. On this peak is the height of arrogance, where you believe you’ve really got everything figured out. Part of learning is understanding that, yes, sometimes you really did just forget to plug the modem in.

rottingleaf ,

Yep, that one where the person on the peak starts lecturing you in abstract terms about trying the simplest hypotheses and such, while you are trying to solve their problem.

I know the philosophy part that asshole is talking about, only he has no bloody clue which part is simple and which is not here.

It was a hang port on a switch in that case.

Mirodir , in Sysadmin comes out of the goon cave. And he is not happy in the slightest.
ShitOnABrick OP ,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Ty

Excrubulent ,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Just fyi, Randall who makes xkcd has a very permissive approach and offers hotlinks on the site for easy embedding. I think he prefers that you hotlink rather than reupload.

ShitOnABrick OP ,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Alright keep this in mind in future mate. I found this on quora and didn’t know who the author was.

Excrubulent ,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Yup, no worries, i just appreciate the way he does things and wanted to share the info :)

bleistift2 , in Review Please

That’s when you set the intern’s IDE to preserve the line endings.

shotgun_crab , (edited )

.gitattributes is our best friend

coloredgrayscale , (edited )

Automatic code formatter with company style rules for more consistency across all developers.

MostlyBlindGamer , in Aaargh....my eyes......my eyes......
@MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com avatar

Self-documenting code, high contrast… Carry on.

MonkderZweite , in Someone needs to be reminded that anticompetitive practices are illegal

So a knife maker can now forbid me to cut chicken with it?

Darken ,
@Darken@reddthat.com avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • Buttons ,
    @Buttons@programming.dev avatar

    But at least you wouldn’t download a car, right?

    AngryCommieKender ,

    youtu.be/uErKI0zWgjg?si=kOQ5xUtJHcJvVaMj

    Stealing it one piece at a time seems to be celebrated by the same generation of people that are concerned about copying media

    Holzkohlen ,

    I’d singlehandedly bring down the car manufacturers in my country if I could. They have the strongest lobby in Germany for sure.

    punkwalrus , in My Git Knowledge
    @punkwalrus@lemmy.world avatar

    The thing is that for a majority of cases, this is all one needs to know about git for their job. Knowing git add, git -m commit “Change text”, git push, git branch, git checkout , is most of what a lone programmer does on their code.

    Where it gets complicated real fast is collaboration on the same branch. Merge conflicts, outdated pulls, “clever shortcuts,” hacks done by programmers who “kindof” know git at an advanced level, those who don’t understand “least surprise,” and those who cut and paste fixes from Stackexchange or ChatGPT. Plus who has admin access to “undo your changes” so all that work you did and pushed is erased and there’s no record of it anymore. And egos of programmers who refuse any changes you make for weird esoteric reasons. I had a programmer lead who rejected any and all code with comments “because I like clean code. If it’s not in the git log, it’s not a comment.” And his git comments were frustratingly vague and brief. “Fixed issue with ssl python libs,” or “Minor bugfixes.”

    Ottomateeverything ,

    I had a programmer lead who rejected any and all code with comments “because I like clean code. If it’s not in the git log, it’s not a comment.”

    Pretty sure I would quit on the spot. Clearly doesn’t understand “clean” code, nor how people are going to interface with code, or git for that matter. Even if you write a book for each commit, that would be so hard to track down relevant info.

    mkwt ,

    Yeah, I think that guy only got a superficial understanding of what Uncle Bob was saying.

    My policy as a tech lead is this: In an ideal world, you don’t need the comment because the names and the flow are good. But when you do need the comments, you usually really need those comments. Anything that’s surprising, unusual, or possibly difficult to understand gets comments. Because sometimes the world is not ideal, and we don’t have the time or energy to fully express our ideas clearly in code.

    My policy on SCM logs is that they should be geared more towards why this commit is going in, not what is being done. And what other tickets, stories, bugs it relates to.

    PrettyFlyForAFatGuy ,

    Lead of a small team of scripters here. The “Why. Not What” is defo a good way of encouraging cleaner code.

    Had to request changes recently on a PR like this, big function with comments telling me what it was doing. When they resubmitted for review they had broken it down into smaller functions with good variable/function naming. following what was going on was much easier

    AA5B ,

    Same strategy here, but recently found myself commenting on the “what”. There was a perfect built-in, but not really readable and I couldn’t figure out how to make it readable, so fine

    AstridWipenaugh ,

    We solve that problem using naming conventions. Branch names must start with the issue key (we use Jira). You don’t do anything in that branch that’s not part of that issue. If you do, you must prefix the commit message with the issue key that it goes with. The commit itself identifies what changed. The Jira issue provides all the backstory and links to any supporting materials (design docs, support tickets, etc). I have to do a lot of git archeology in my role, and this scheme regularly allows me to figure out why a code change was made years ago without ever talking to anyone.

    AA5B ,

    To be honest, when I ask a candidate about git, I’m looking for them to describe this workflow.

    Heck, I have a new person who I tasked with minor config change, just to make sure she knows how to use git in a professional environment

    bleistift2 ,

    But when you do need the comments, you usually really need those comments.

    It’s nice to see you sharing my experience. My code is either uncommented or very severely commented with comment-to-code ratios of 10:1 or more. I hate the files that are soo green… :(

    Valmond ,

    Why does

    git rebase

    work sometimes?

    Yeah git can get quite complicated when there ate lots of people working on the same things.

    mkwt ,

    It’s not git that’s complicated. The work is complicated. git is just one of the tools that programmers use to manage the complexity.

    I also think that some people get too hung up on having a “clean” history, and trying to “fix” the history after it has already occurred. I usually have enough problems to worry about in the present, without also trying to worry about the past.

    zqwzzle ,

    I like to rebase on my feature branches before the PR because it’s a gift to my future self that resolves all the conflicts (if any) before my work goes in. I just find trying to figure out how those conflicts got resolved when there are a bunch of merges in more difficult if there’s a problem later. It’s easier to understand for me. YMMV, this does not work for everyone. Etc etc.

    Wrench ,

    I find the “clean history” argument so flawed.

    Sure, if you’re they type to micro commit, you can squash your branch and clean it up before merging. We don’t need a dozen “fixed tests” commits for context.

    But in practice, I have seen multiple teams with the policy of squash merging every branch with 0 exceptions. Even going so far as squash merging development branches to master, which then lumps 20 different changes into a single commit. Sure, you can always be a git archeologist, check out specific revisions, see the original commits, and dig down the history over and over, to get the original context of the specific change you’re looking into. But that’s way fucking more overhead than just looking at an unmanipulated history and seeing the parallel work going on, and get a clue on context at a glance at the network graph.

    GissaMittJobb ,

    Using curated commits to optimize for pull request reviewability is highly underrated. Liberal use of interactive rebasing to ‘tell a story’, essentially.

    andioop ,

    you’re they type to micro commit

    Thanks for a much shorter and better way to explain this tendency of mine and why I rebase a lot, yoinking this phrase.

    ekky ,

    “Fixed issue with ssl python libs,” or “Minor bugfixes.”

    Red bird going “Hahaha, No!”

    In other news, never work more than one person on a branch (that’s why we have them). Make a new related issue with its own branch and rebase whenever necessary, and don’t even think about touching main or dev with anything but a properly reviewed and approved PR (in case they aren’t already protected), or I’ll find and report you to the same authority that handles all the failed sudo requests!

    Also, companies that disable rebasing are my bane. While you can absolutely do without, i much prefer to have less conflicts, cleaner branches and commits, easier method to pull in new changes from dev, overall better times for the reviewer, and the list goes on. Though, the intern rewriting multiple branches’ history which they have no business pushing to is also rather annoying.

    seth ,

    deleted_by_author

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  • AA5B ,

    To be honest, this is a simple rejection that really doesn’t waste anyone’s time except the perpetrator

    bleistift2 ,

    If it’s not in the git log, it’s not a comment.”

    This is so incredibly dumb, though I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this. That comment will be buried in the git log if anyone ever fixes a typo on that line.

    timbuck2themoon ,

    Your lead sounds like someone who thinks you’re charged per line of code you commit.

    dbilitated , in FLOSS communities right now
    @dbilitated@aussie.zone avatar

    yeah I’ve really noticed it’s hard to find info and therefore use any project that does this.

    and it must suck because anyone new, instead of finding the answer to their question in a forum archive from when it was first asked, has to log in and ask it again.

    whenever I have dumb noob questions on setup and I see a discord link I give up a little.

    jol ,

    And then to top it off users get annoying and angrily point at sticked posts, wikis and whatnot when people ask the same questions for the nth time.

    Gestrid ,

    This. I literally just joined. I have no idea what the server layout is or where all the important links are.

    jol ,

    My biggest pet peeve is when you join a new server and you have 15 different steps you have to do before you can ask a question. Verify with a bot or two, send picture drinking verification can, send emoji here, ask for emoji there, introduce yourself, publish your whole biography, wait for the pope to bless your account, and then, maybe, you are allowed to use the channel. I’m not a discord user, I don’t know what this all means ffs!

    EngineerGaming ,
    @EngineerGaming@feddit.nl avatar

    …And in addition, Discord itself can randomly nuke your account by asking for a phone number.

    KillingTimeItself ,

    dude i give up completely, you think im joining a random discord full of a bunch of people i dont know with a culture of who knows what dialect?

    Nah fuck that i’ll just go use some dudes random piece of scrapped together software that’s actually pretty based instead. To that guy who wrote the bash script for flashing windows ISOs under linux. Thank you.

    Darkassassin07 , in Sleep() at home
    @Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca avatar

    Tell the CPU to wait for you?

    Na, keep the CPU busy with useless crap till you need it.

    jaybone ,

    Fuck those other processes. I want to hear that fan.

    leclownfou ,

    I paid good money for my fan, I want to know it’s working!

    kogasa ,
    @kogasa@programming.dev avatar

    Have you considered a career in middle management

    IrateAnteater , in You can have anything you wan...

    Why limit yourself like that? Just say “All languages”. Depending on how liberally you interpret the word “language”, you know know just about everything.

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    At that point just go for omniscience.

    farsayl ,

    Too far. I don’t need to know all that.

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    Oh you don’t want to know exactly how many pubes your grandmother shed in her lifetime? You don’t care to know what the sewage of tasted like in London on Sunday, the 16th of July 1882? You don’t burn with desire to learn what it feels like to get your viscera torn out by a hungry lion?

    Weak!

    PopMyCop ,

    A few million. Nasty, with hints of corn and bean. Painful and, oddly, quite exhilarating. Knowing doesn’t equate to experiencing.

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    I dunno. You’d know exactly what it looks and smells like too, and what it’d feel like on your tongue. Depends on how vivid your imagination is.

    I can’t visualise things, but when people ask me to “visualise an apple” I can feel the waxy exterior, the crispness (or gumminess of an old apple), the slightly floral scent before you bite into it, what it sounds like, etc.

    Can’t fucking visualise it to save my life though.

    PopMyCop ,

    I can imagine sensation if I want, but as a ‘for instance,’ I know I don’t like some foods because of certain sensations, but don’t have to perceive them when I remember why. I can’t imagine that most people aren’t the same, or we’d have a lot more people gagging randomly as they walk around. Sure, some people will be slightly perturbed if you mention certain things, like fecal matter, horrible farts, the feeling of biting down on aluminum… but those perturbations pass in moments.

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    Interesting! There’s a particular type of fabric I cannot stand, and every time I think of it I get the sensation of touching it. Doing my best to not fling my phone away.

    ForceLightning ,
    @ForceLightning@lemmy.world avatar

    aphantasia?

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    Possibly.

    the_post_of_tom_joad ,

    Man i could just browse weird facts in my brain all day. Hurry Satan my soul is waiting!

    xintrik ,

    I’m already a loner but omniscience would seal the deal.

    dojan ,
    @dojan@lemmy.world avatar

    You’d be one hell of a schmoozer as you’d know exactly what to say to people to connect with them.

    fl42v ,

    Fuck programming then, I’ll go read ancient Egyptian or some not-yet-deciphered crap. On the other hand, I bet it’s not that different from APL

    APLSC_matrix-3547335466

    drcobaltjedi ,

    My old man told me he took one programming language in college and it was APL. Having looked at APL since becoming a software dev myself, I can understand why he hated it.

    It’s just so gross and hard to read

    funkless_eck ,

    On the other hand, which do you prefer, this:

    
    <span style="color:#323232;"> life ← {⊃1 ⍵ ∨.∧ 3 4 = +/ +⌿ ¯1 0 1 ∘.⊖ ¯1 0 1 ⌽¨ ⊂⍵}
    </span>
    

    or this:

    
    <span style="color:#323232;"> MODE UNIVERSE = [upb OF class universe, upb OF class universe]BOOL; STRUCT( INT upb, BOOL lifeless, alive, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID init, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)STRING repr, PROC(REF UNIVERSE, INT, INT)VOID insert glider, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID next ) class universe = ( # upb = # 50, # lifeless = # FALSE, # alive = # TRUE, # PROC init = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID: FOR row index FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO init row(self[row index, ]) OD, # PROC repr = # (REF UNIVERSE self)STRING:( FORMAT cell = $b("[]", " ")$, horizon = $"+"n(UPB self)("--")"+"l$; FILE outf; STRING out; associate(outf, out); putf(outf, (horizon, $"|"n(UPB self)(f(cell))"|"l$, self, horizon)); close(outf); out ), # PROC insert glider = # (REF UNIVERSE self, INT row, col)VOID:( self[row-2, col+1]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row-1, col+2]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row, col:col+2]&nbsp;:= (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE ) ), # PROC next = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID:( [0:2, LWB self-1:UPB self+1]BOOL window;  # init row(window[LWB window, ]); window[LWB self, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[LWB self, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= lifeless OF class universe;  window[LWB self, LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[LWB self, ]; FOR row FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO REF []BOOL next row = window[(row+1) MOD 3, ]; IF row NE UPB self THEN next row[LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[row+1, ] ELSE init row(next row) FI; FOR col FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO INT live&nbsp;:= 0;  FOR row FROM row-1 TO row+1 DO REF[]BOOL window row = window[row MOD 3, ]; FOR col FROM col-1 TO col+1 DO IF window row[col] THEN live +:= 1 FI OD OD; self[row, col]&nbsp;:= IF window[row MOD 3, col] THEN live -:=  live = 3 FI OD OD ) );
    </span>
    
    fl42v ,

    Honesty, neither 🤣

    Cqrd , in Always commit

    Dude just stopped before he got to a logical stopping point where it would make sense to commit and push

    GigglyBobble ,

    That's actually not that rare when I work later than usual. Some stupid problem my brain is too fried to solve. Eventually I give up, feeling defeat for the whole evening and solve the problem in 10 mins the next morning. Get enough sleep, people.

    sunbeam60 ,

    However, much research shows the hand banging against the wall period is required for you to achieve the morning breakthrough.

    The sleeping break is where your neurons form new connections based their activity yesterday. The “thinking hard” and the frustration is a required part of the morning epiphany.

    God I love programming.

    GigglyBobble ,

    Thanks. I did not need to know that. Oh well, off to more headbanging then.

    Rentlar , in It's a mass extinction event

    Nice meme. I’ll just ignore the fact most C# devs aren’t game devs but…

    Many other engines use C#. Godot is compatible with it, for example.

    isVeryLoud ,

    How comparable is Godot to Unity feature-wise?

    Rentlar ,

    This old manual page goes through a comparison of Unity and Godot.

    onlinepersona ,

    Is unity in C#?

    Wooki ,

    Nice reach. Gadot is garbage.

    Rentlar , (edited )

    Well you are free to not touch my free and open source garbage then…

    opossum

    Knusper , in Which side are you? Javascript or Typescript

    I’m choosing the third side: WebAssembly

    QuazarOmega ,

    Blazingly fast 🦀🦀🦀

    marcos ,

    Incredibly powerful type system λλλ

    And the best part, those two interop better than in native code.

    QuazarOmega ,

    those two interop better than in native code

    Really? Why is that?

    marcos ,

    The wasm ABI allows for a bit more flexibility than the C one.

    I’m not sure how much impact it has on practice (probably very little, otherwise somebody would have fixed it), but in native code there’s a lot of potential for mismatching behaviors from the two different runtimes.

    QuazarOmega ,

    Oh I had no idea, thanks for explaining!

    Static_Rocket ,
    @Static_Rocket@lemmy.world avatar

    Have they finally dumped the required js stub loader?

    Knusper ,

    No, but GUI frameworks can generate it for you. Same goes for DOM access, for which there’s normally only a JavaScript API.

    So, you’ll likely want to read JS, when researching what events or properties you can read/write for certain HTML nodes in the DOM, but with a mature GUI framework, you should not need to write any JS.

    redcalcium ,

    You can even compile Fortran code to wasm and run it on a web browser. Who need Javascript’s puny 64bit floating point precision when you can have Fortran’s superior 128bit floating point precision?

    db2 , in libmem_cpy-strnrrn-std-clib_Cmvaeffc_ld-TWA_nif.aarch64(32bit)2-0.13.2-23.2.so.7(3).1.1.gz.conf

    aarch64(32bit)

    🤣

    H2207 ,
    @H2207@lemmy.world avatar

    x86 backwards compatibility

    bdesk ,

    He was using (a)arch

    H2207 ,
    @H2207@lemmy.world avatar

    Just the 1 premium linux distro please…

    Cyberflunk ,

    Commodore 64 effective

    1984 , in This one goes out to the sysadmins in the crowd.
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    This happens all the time. Companies are bleeding money into the air every second to aws, but they have enough money to not care much.

    AWS really was brilliant in how they built a cloud and how they marketed everything as “pay only for what you use”.

    MonkderZweite ,

    That this is deemed brilliant is the sad part.

    1984 ,
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    I mean, I would put brilliant in quotes in the way that it’s brilliant for their profits. Not brilliant in the way of making the world a better place.

    Oderus ,

    Companies hate OpEx and love CapEx. That’s the main driver as companies loathe hardware life cycle costs and prefer a pay as you go model. It is more expensive but it’s more budget friendly as you avoid sticker shock every 3-4 years.

    coloredgrayscale ,

    There’s more than just hardware and power cost to servers.

    Primarily cost of employees taking care of the servers.

    MonkderZweite ,

    Replacing hardware only every 6 to 8 years, makes it better.

    Aceticon ,

    Lawful Evil is still evil.

    brennesel ,
    @brennesel@feddit.de avatar

    Do you mean that it’s still the case that more resources are allocated than actually used or that the code does not need to be optimized anymore due to elastic compute?

    1984 ,
    @1984@lemmy.today avatar

    I think both are consequences of the cloud.

    It’s cheaper for companies to just add more compute than to pay devs to optimize the code.

    And it’s also not so important to overpay for server capacity they don’t use.

    Both of these things leads to AWS making more money.

    It’s also really good for aws that once these things are built, they just keep bringing in money on their own 24 hours per day.

    brennesel ,
    @brennesel@feddit.de avatar

    If I remember correctly, that was the original idea of AWS, to offer their free capacity to paying customers.

    Do you think that AWS in particular has this problem or Azure and GCP as well? I have mainly worked with DWHs in Snowflake, where you can adjust the compute capacity within seconds. So you pay almost exactly for the capacity you really need.
    Not having to optimize queries is a good selling point for cloud-based databases, too.

    It is certainly still cheaper than self-hosted on-premises infrastructure.

    sunbeam60 ,

    We worked with a business unit to predict how many people they would migrate on to their new system week 1-2 … they controlled the migration through some complicated salesforce code they had written.

    We were told “half a million first week”. We reserved capacity to be ready to handle the onslaught.

    8000 appeared week 1.

    jetsetdorito , in Simple trick

    fun fact, an early iPhone jailbreak would always change the phones wifi mac to the same address, so there was a meme for a while that if you had a jailbroken iPhone you couldn’t use airport wifi

    cordlesslamp ,

    Why would anyone do that? If there’s 2 jailbreak iphones on the same network then non of them would have internet access due to IP conflict?

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