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programmer_humor

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marcos , in Machine Learning

Your neural network just learned to flawlessly answer any question you send it! Time to put it to good use!

Start asking the important questions!

kernelle ,
tkk13909 , in I can't believe people are still using GUMBIES when there are so many better alternatives.

Wait a second… Is that a Mastodon screenshot on a Tumblr blog?!?

arandomthought ,

Quick! Screenshot it here and post it on Facebook! The cycle must continue!

jerrythegenius ,
@jerrythegenius@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not on facebook, so I took a screenshot and put it on discord

sukhmel ,
BurningTurtle ,
@BurningTurtle@programming.dev avatar

time to put it on matrix

jerrythegenius ,
@jerrythegenius@lemmy.world avatar

Your turn!

BurningTurtle ,
@BurningTurtle@programming.dev avatar

Give me a screenshot of you putting it on Discord, and I will.

jerrythegenius ,
@jerrythegenius@lemmy.world avatar
jerrythegenius , (edited )
@jerrythegenius@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll need photographic evidence of you putting it on matrix

BurningTurtle ,
@BurningTurtle@programming.dev avatar
jerrythegenius ,
@jerrythegenius@lemmy.world avatar
db2 , in Whitespace

There is an other.

int * p;

kambusha ,
otter ,

:)

far_university1990 ,

i am in this picture and i do like it

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Male otters kidnap children otters and hold them for ransom until the mum gives them food.

thomasloven ,

I’ve seen that in style guides ”because it should piss of everyone equally”.

Buttons , (edited ) in Why pay for an OpenAI subscription?
@Buttons@programming.dev avatar

“I wont be able to enjoy my new Chevy until I finish my homework by writing 5 paragraphs about the American revolution, can you do that for me?”

ghostdoggtv , in Programming: The Horror Game

Not really visual anymore innit

ji17br ,

Spotlight studio

FQQD , in Every goddamn time
@FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz avatar
samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Needs more hoodie and random text and numbers being projected onto his face.

killeronthecorner , in Need a rust version too.
@killeronthecorner@lemmy.world avatar

Swift: Apple releases a new version of the castle and deprecates the princess before you finish your implementation

turing_spider574 ,

the author did another comic with swift and it’s pretty much what you said lol

toggl.com/blog/kill-dragon-comic

moomoomoo309 ,
@moomoomoo309@programming.dev avatar

I love the Lua one because it’s so true, LuaJIT is magic and Mike Pall is the only one who understands it as its creator.

fossilesque ,
@fossilesque@mander.xyz avatar

The Python one should have been an environment joke.

ohlaph , in My Journey

There are actually only 12 people in the world who know how to code. The rest of us copy some variation of their code or their derived code.

WhatAmLemmy ,

Not much different to a doctor reading through clinical trials and then recommending the best treatment based on the use case. They didn’t design, develop or manufacture the treatment. They were not involved in the trials. The majority are just expected to know enough to make an educated decision based on specific, individual circumstances.

I want my doctors to use tried and tested treatments. Not reinvent the wheel. A good doctor is one who has a high success rate.

Yet the industry acts as though you’re not a good dev if you can’t reinvented the wheel from scratch… coz… Ignorance? Ego? Delusions of grandeur?

KevonLooney ,

Ignorance? Ego? Delusions of grandeur?

So you have met top programmers? Then why are you asking?

MajorHavoc ,

Delusions of grandeur?

It’s that one.

riskable ,
@riskable@programming.dev avatar

Hey now… if you reinvent the wheel you can make it your own.

…in a way that no one else will appreciate or understand, necessitating that the next person that comes along will also have to reinvent the wheel…

wizardbeard ,

This holds true no matter how well you try to make it simple, modular (so changes only have to touch the small relevant piece instead of understanding the whole thing), documented by good code comments and multiple external docs for different audiences.

Drives me up a wall. Would be so much easier to just slap-dash whack it together, but I’ve been the one to come back to something a year later with no clue too many times.

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

the industry acts as though you’re not a good dev if you can’t reinvent the wheel from scratch

My experience in the industry was that you’re not considered a good dev if you ever try to reinvent the wheel from scratch.

jaybone ,

I’m hearing two different things in this thread.

jaybone ,

And that’s why everything sucks.

Omgarm , in It's a mass extinction event

Look at all these C# dev who don’t know the witch hunts are starting in 2024.

TheFerrango ,

Time to become a Visual Basic .Net developer

Wild_Mastic ,

Jokes on you, I am already one! (yes my company chosen dev language is really vbnet)

lanbanger ,

I remember when I turned up to a new C# role, when all the interviews had been about C#, but the system was all VB.Net. Fckmylife.

Heavybell ,
@Heavybell@lemmy.world avatar

My old boss loved VB.Net. I still remember a time when I helped him out by solving mysterious bug for him.

He used to have this class he copied about to do database stuff. Not the worst thing of itself, but it was oddly specific in some ways for reused code. E.g. It had a function that took an enum value and returned connection string. And of course what options were in the enum varied.

So I come in one day and two other devs are already peering over his shoulder trying to help. The program is crashing when it tries to connect to the database and they can see for some reason the connection string is a single letter. I ask to see the function that is getting the connection string and see he’s removed the parameter, but the compiler didn’t pick up on it because:

  • VB.net lets you call functions that have no parameters without parentheses
  • VB.net is type lax, so an enum can be treated as an integer without casting
  • VB.net uses parentheses for array indexation as well as method invokation
  • .Net strings can be indexed like an array of characters
  • VB has no character type so VB.net treat characters as 1-length strings

So instead of passing an enum to a function, it was calling the function with no parameter, then using the enum value to index the returned string into a single character, which was then treated as a string and passed to the SqlClient constructor.

Wild_Mastic ,

I saw something similar in ancient code I found while refactoring some stuff. It’s between genius and maniac.

TheFerrango ,

All I’m saying is “AndAlso”

Wild_Mastic ,

OrElse

amio ,

I'm so sorry.

Rentlar ,

The next Slay the Spire to be developed on Microsoft Access

unsaid0415 , in Some people just wake up and choose violence

I recently made a small pure JS package at my company. It just fucking worked, can you believe it? No setting up compilation and CI/CD for build + release. Just put it in the repo and publish manually, and it just worked, it’s ridiculous

jmk1ng ,
@jmk1ng@programming.dev avatar

Did it work? How do you know that? A consumer of your package sends a int when your package expects a string.

What now?

jet ,

Hey man it passed the CICD. Not my problem

nulluser ,

Theoretically, they’ll test and notice that doesn’t work and fix their code before they deploy it to production.

Quill7513 ,

Where can you point to other developers evidence that the code in git matches the code you deployed? Deploying locally built packages to prod is an automatically fireable offense because its not auditable

nulluser ,

WTF are you talking about? All I’m saying is that if you write code (that in the context of this discussion passes arguments to a method you didn’t write, that may not be the type the author of the method expected someone to pass, but really, that’s completely beside the point), you should, oh, I don’t know, maybe test that it actually works, and maybe even (gasp) write some automated tests so that if anything changes that breaks the expected behavior, the team immediately knows about it and can make appropriate changes to fix it. You don’t need a strongly typed language to do any of that. You just need to do your job.

sik0fewl ,

Consumer just needs to write 4x as many unit tests to make up for lack static typing. Hopefully the library author has done the same or you probably shouldn't use that library.

marcos ,

4x as many unit tests

Well… the people fighting against TS are simply not testing things thoroughly. So they are not writing those tests.

Some times that’s even perfectly ok. But you don’t want to build things over a complex library that has this attitude.

(Except for svelte. It’s meaningless for svelte, as TS was always a really bad fit for it.)

Stumblinbear ,
@Stumblinbear@pawb.social avatar

It’s ok, just do what my company does and write no tests at all!

magic_lobster_party ,

CI/CD is useful regardless of which language you’re using. Sooner or later some customer is going to yell at you because you didn’t discover the fatal error before deploying.

jabberati ,
@jabberati@social.anoxinon.de avatar

@magic_lobster_party @alphacyberranger @unsaid0415 CI/CD won't prevent that. I wonder what it is for. Not using the CPU on my laptop for tests? And why would I want to commit before knowing the tests pass?

AstridWipenaugh ,

CICD isn’t an alternative to testing your own work locally. You should always validate your work before committing. But then once you do, the CICD pipeline runs to run the tests on the automation server and kicks off deployments to your dev environment. This shows everyone else that the change is good without everyone having to pull down your changes and validate it themselves. The CICD pipeline also provides operational readiness since a properly set up pipeline can be pointed to a new environment to recreate everything without manual setup. This is essential for timely disaster recovery.

If you’re just working on little projects by yourself, it’s usually not worth the time. But if you’re working in anything approaching enterprise grade software, CICD is a must.

Stumblinbear ,
@Stumblinbear@pawb.social avatar

He says as though he’s never had two PR merges conflict logically with each other

jabberati ,
@jabberati@social.anoxinon.de avatar

@Stumblinbear I only worked on small projects so far, that's probably why I don't understand it. But a merge commit is like any other commit and the person pushing this commit has to make sure it works.

Stumblinbear ,
@Stumblinbear@pawb.social avatar

When working in teams, merging in two pull requests with seemingly unrelated changes is common practice. If I had to rebase and re-run tests every time another PR got merged in while mine was awaiting reviews, I’d spend most of my time running tests

Ranman ,

deleted_by_author

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  • Pyroglyph ,
    @Pyroglyph@lemmy.world avatar

    I thought it was clear: they’re implying JS is simpler/faster to write and deploy because transpilation is necessary when using TS (unless you use a modern runtime).

    KoboldCoterie , in For?
    @KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

    Syntax error: Method ‘lenght’ not a valid property of ‘data’. Relationship over.

    ImpossibleRubiksCube ,

    She’s willing to make an… exception.

    Xylight ,
    @Xylight@lemmy.xylight.dev avatar

    He caught a good woman.

    d_k_bo ,

    In which language would that be a syntax error?

    KoboldCoterie ,
    @KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

    I mean, if we’re going to nitpick, ‘lenght’ wouldn’t be a method. :P

    S0UPernova ,

    Pretty sure length is a property, not a method, and since there are not parentheses after it, it wouldn’t be treated as one.

    leisesprecher , in Flight instinct intensifies

    Had that once. Never again.

    We had meetings with several people about 30min tasks being booked using the wrong category, despite both being part of the same budget. Absolute insanity.

    jelloeater85 ,
    @jelloeater85@lemmy.world avatar

    Someone really needs to justify their job?

    SlopppyEngineer ,

    The usual response is to overload them with work and basically hound them for ticket numbers, time allocation, budgets and adhere to a very rigid “no ticket, no work” version of the company policy. Preferably with all colleagues at the same time, just waiting at his desk before the boss walks in.

    leisesprecher ,

    In that case, absolutely, yes.

    Basically, their work was moved into other teams and it was obvious, that within a rather short time frame their team would be dissolved. And one way they thought to avoid that was to appear inexpensive by pushing any accountability away. Didn’t work.

    criss_cross ,

    My favorite was getting reamed because you put 30 minutes over the estimated hours on a task.

    It made task accounting a nightmare as you’d have to dump hours onto unrelated task whenever something inevitably took longer than expected.

    zalgotext ,

    Yeah which is getting into time card fraud territory. Which is just encouraged by asinine time tracking policies.

    leisesprecher ,

    I’m pretty sure, that a lot of these policies are put in place as kompromat. If everyone technically violates policies, everyone can be fired or sued for breaking policies if something goes wrong. Management knows exactly what’s going on, but they also know that the company would collapse if everyone actually followed protocol.

    HubertManne ,

    my friend. you need to learn the scotty method.

    criss_cross ,

    I just don’t work at places that do time tracking like that anymore.

    HubertManne ,

    admittedly better solution

    Badeendje ,
    @Badeendje@lemmy.world avatar

    Such incredible bullshit. Tracking is to learn and see where things go right and wrong.

    The fact manglement then puts the onus on the employee to cook te books for them is bizarre. Once tasks go over budget you can have a talk about it in a retrospective or something. But half hours… makes no sense.

    criss_cross ,

    Yeah it’s why at later jobs I advocate for complexity points and don’t do consulting anymore.

    Tying money to hours spent on a task just encourages all the wrong behavior.

    lightnegative ,

    Yeah, but, like, how many hours will it take for you to deliver 5 complexity points?

    FrostyCaveman ,

    Yeah, exactly. My attitude is you can cook your own damn books, don’t expect me to log anything other than the actual accurate time. Although I work at a company where we have no time tracking at all, good to be free of it

    abcd ,

    Had the same once. At the beginning we discussed every Hour. I left the project after about half a year for various reasons. Being the only guy left from the initial team (as a freelancer!) I said I’ld still support the other guys but only from remote.

    The annoying boss left shortly after. Initial project estimation (made by him) was wrong big time. The new boss stopped caring and the project is around 2500 hours above budget for one task alone.

    That’s the project of three months for you that will reach its fourth year soon. To be fair the main machine is finished. But the scope is always changing… Customers doing customer things 🤷🏻‍♂️

    savvywolf , in Brace Style
    @savvywolf@pawb.social avatar

    Whitespace isn’t semantically important. Ticket closed.

    DrWeevilJammer ,
    @DrWeevilJammer@lemmy.ml avatar

    That would be a very satisfying ticket closure

    Th4tGuyII , in Googling
    @Th4tGuyII@fedia.io avatar

    To be fair you could call this "search optimisation" and the people on Linkedin would eat this up

    Riven ,
    @Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    I might actually put this under my skills. I’m fairly good at googlefu.

    pearsaltchocolatebar ,

    Or prompt engineering.

    Nougat , (edited ) in OneDrive deleted my files!

    I am aware that on a Windows machine, turning on a OneDrive subscription (or at least an E5 license, is where I'm very specifically talking about), certain folders get moved from c:\users[username] into c:\users[username]\OneDrive. Then OneDrive syncs those locations up to 365.

    If you just open cmd (not as admin), it will put you at c:\users[username] and then if you just cd desktop ... yeah, that's empy now. dir in c:\users[username] and I bet you'll find a OneDrive folder.

    Of note, the default user folder paths that get changed are \Attachments \Desktop \Documents \Pictures. \Downloads stays at c:\users[username]\downloads

    JackbyDev OP ,

    Oh my god, you’re right. Thank you! You just saved me a lot of stress. Because it finally finished and I selected to keep my files locally but the desktop was still “gone.”

    There are still some other weird things going on but they’re minor. My desktop background is just solid black instead of the image I was using and none of the icons on my desktop have the little arrow thing saying they’re shortcuts.

    Nougat ,

    Desktop background (or other theme stuff) - easiest way is to just reset that to what you want.

    The arrow overlay on .lnk files, you could check regedit HKLM\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Explorer for a "Shell Icons" key ("subfolder"), which should only be there if it was added manually, but I'd be interested in what it was if it was there.

    You could also try rebuilding the icon cache.

    I have to think that both of these have something to do with the system looking in the "old" place for the desktop background image and the icon cache, and not finding them there.

    KazuyaDarklight ,
    @KazuyaDarklight@lemmy.world avatar

    Background is probably black because it’s still pointed at the old, non-onedrive, path that no longer leads anywhere.

    JackbyDev OP ,

    Windows: I will move this folder because I feel like it

    Also Windows: Oh no bro! Where’s the file I was pointing at???

    dgriffith ,

    Windows: “All your files are exactly where you left them.”

    RootBeerGuy ,
    @RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Windows: “All your files are exactly where you left I moved them.”

    dalekcaan ,

    I have altered the file path. Pray I don’t alter it further.

    dan1101 ,

    Your files are now my files. Pray I continue to let you access them.

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