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DLSchichtl , in Nothing to see here, right?

Anyone seen the remote?

Jerb322 ,
@Jerb322@lemmy.world avatar

Why does it smell like ass?!

TheHottub ,
@TheHottub@lemmy.world avatar

Because of the ass it’s been jammed into.

Related

DLSchichtl ,

I bet you get invited to so many parties

shalafi , in But my WiFi is just fine!

I handle a lot of internal support for a dev outfit.

“My shit’s slow.”

“That’s because you’re on wireless at your house. Not my problem, but I’ll try to help. Can you hardwire it?”

“That would be IMPOSSIBLE!”

“Suffer.”

azvasKvklenko ,

I used to work on a tech support hotline for a ISP 10 years ago and that was the usual thing.

  • My shit’s slow
  • Ok, I see you’ve got perfect parameters for your ADSL, I just logged into your router, trying out download… and upload… It works exactly as it should, so maybe your WiFi? Could you connect a wire?
  • Plz come fix asap, TECHNICIAN VISIT WHEN??!!

If the WiFi sucked on router provided as part of the service then sure, I could send a technician, but usually the router only had one ethernet port.

Pilkins , in incredible

There’s a book called How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler that covers this stuff. Don’t think it’s comprehensive enough to actually invent everything from scratch, but still a fun read.

chetradley ,

By Ryan North, the author of Dinosaur Comics! He based the book on a time travel survival guide he published and made into a T-shirt.

orphiebaby ,
@orphiebaby@lemmy.world avatar

Just finished it. Thank you!

nowitsabby , in Looks like something straight from Warhammer 40K
@nowitsabby@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Where do you think 40k got it

pyrflie , (edited )

It’s like they haven’t studied history or read any 40K.

Wait Catholics; nevermind. They didn’t read the room with Luther, and he was friendly.

Skullgrid ,
@Skullgrid@lemmy.world avatar

Luther was not friendly

vaultdweller013 ,

At first he was a reformer, he didnt initially intend to create another schism but well the powder was already there and he lit it.

Skullgrid ,
@Skullgrid@lemmy.world avatar

he was a reformer, but he was an angry, shitposting bastard about it.

todayifoundout.com/…/talking-tough-martin-luthers…

DragonTypeWyvern ,

He, and literally every other Catholic, had a right to be angry.

SatansMaggotyCumFart , in Facts

Crazy fucking that.

Dimantina ,

Thank you!

zarathustrad ,

Yea, That just laying there.

BedSharkPal , in no it do not

The IRS? Did he like, not pay taxes on his suicide vest or something?

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

Who among us has not done that.

Illegalmexicant ,

It’s a work experience. Well I’m about to have it as my uniform for a day

psmgx ,

If it’s a work uniform then it can be deducted

moosetwin ,
@moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Who among us

I had this entire sequence play through my head when I read your comment

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

He threw out the receipt after declaring it as a business expense.

Mouselemming , in This woman donated her nose to this man.

It’s rude to make jokes about her nose because it’s the result of an injury that became a big infection.

It’s also rude for your flabby ass to make fun of the physical strength she has achieved.

Both assume she owes you beauty by your standards, when she owes you nothing. No woman does.

You want to make fun of her wealth or privilege or DUI, those are fair game.

madcaesar ,

Everything you’ve described might be true, but her appearance has definitely been altered by PEDs.

Mouselemming ,

So you’re saying you want some?

It’s also possible the doctors put her on steroids for medical reasons and she said to herself, might as well get jacked while I have the opportunity.

wolfpack86 ,

maybe her physical strength is the direct product of being born into wealth and having the time to get ripped?

nieceandtows ,

Absolutely. That’s why billionaires are the most jacked people in the world

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

Somehow I would mind just a tiny bit less that we have a billionaire ruling class if they were all just completely swole

Mouselemming ,

Very likely, but she has to put in the reps.

Chocrates ,

I somehow completely missed how jacked she is at first

sentient_loom OP ,
@sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works avatar

those are fair game.

Now we finally know what is “fair game!” We were all wondering, until you informed us. Thank you so much, THE BOSS OF THE INTERNET!

Confused_Emus ,

Are those roots fair game? I feel like a princess could have those taken care of.

Mouselemming ,

I’ll allow it.

feedum_sneedson ,

She is definitely using steroids.

Sorgan71 ,

Physical features are also fair game.

NateNate60 , in Cum

My mother would always just say “Fine then, don’t eat”, and then I’d get hungry later and she’d say that’s just too bad

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“If you don’t eat you’ll regret it!”

“Slippery slope.”

Baizey ,

Because of the implications?

RandomVideos ,

For me it was “Fine then, dont eat” and i wouldnt eat anything

FiniteBanjo , in As a long-time user hearing YouTube wants to play extra ads when I pause a video

Youtube Ads used to be for pizza restaurants and lawnmowers.

Now they want me to join a fucking cult that worships alphabeta-blocking milkshakes.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

I was getting ads for a very blatant scam. They used extremely well known buzzwords for it too, it’s actually embarrassing that it could have passed even automated screening.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Sometimes I think they don’t even have an automated screening. Instagram/Facebook sure as fuck don’t.

MehBlah ,

I watch one set of ads. As soon as the second ad starts I download the video and fuck youtube.

LemmyKnowsBest , (edited )

Please tell me about this cult that worships alphabeta-blocking milkshakes. Sounds intriguing.

PlexSheep ,

Good point. The ad quality has dropped by so much, hard to imagine ads this bad are possible. Really shitty mobile games are a huge part of that advertisement. A lot of stuff that just seems scam my too.

volvoxvsmarla ,

I constantly see an ad by zeiss (which is a german company but they’re in california) and I don’t even know what they produce but I swear to God I’ll never get a Zeiss product. An acquaintance worked with them for a while and I have trouble taking him seriously now. (They’re pretty american in that way but they’re also very german)

I fucking hate zeiss after this ad.

GrymEdm , in I'm DTF

Yeah, good luck with that.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2045bf95-1fa5-493f-9008-f88c9e124171.jpeg

Seriously, hope it works out for you. Live the dream.

dharmacurious , in Rizzler

Honestly? Someone telling me this would do absolute wonders for my self esteem, ngl

stebo02 ,
@stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

isn’t that hellah weird to think about though

dharmacurious ,

I mean, kinda, yeah. But people masturbate. They’re not hurting anyone doing it. The idea that anyone had masturbated thinking of me would be a self esteem booster. That said, that’s a pipe dream. Ain’t nobody ever got off to all of this outside of an actual sexual encounter. Lmao

Cosmos7349 ,

YOURE BEAUTIFUL IVE JERKED OFF TO ONE OF YOUR COMMENTS BEFORE. NOT EVEN A PICTURE

MechanicalJester ,

Brb crying

Sylver ,

I’ll think of you next time I masturbate <3

MechanicalJester ,

People thinking of other people when they masturbate gets me off unnnnnnh

dharmacurious ,

Thank you!

mossy_ ,

I had someone say they wanted me (as part of a conversation about preferences, not totally off topic) and it was honestly really flattering. I told em I was ace and we moved on. It was like seven years ago but I’ll cherish that memory forever…

orphiebaby ,

My housemate-and-best-friend wants me a lot. I’m ace and aro. We have an understanding.

EmperorHenry ,
@EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I mean, there have been times where I was recovering from a bad breakup, and a gay dude flirted with me a little…not the same gay dude every time.

It was flattering, even though I’m not into guys.

Gabu ,

TBH, and not with the intention of hurting your self-esteem, girl-pretty and gay-pretty seem to be quite different, in my experience.

EmperorHenry ,
@EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

I’m just glad that there’s people out there that find me attractive.

tias ,

Yes, gay-pretty is more soft and “feminine”.

Source: I’m gay-pretty

PMFL ,
@PMFL@lemmy.world avatar

Omg, what a true answer, it happened to me too. And more than once, if I were gay I wouldn’t even have to worry, I’ve always been very liked by gays, I don’t know why, but it’s true.

TheFriar ,

Probably your beautiful cock, friend

squid_slime ,

Ive heard about this, apparently its a glorious cock

squid_slime ,

it was difficult but i managed it :)

BreadOven ,

Just need a pic I guess. Haha /s.

meliaesc ,

Unless…?

BreadOven ,

??

aesen1 , in Yeah... 😬

Bait

XEAL , in 89 stories 🤖

OpenAI models being pussies and this Copilot motherfucker is double dipping…

ThirdWorldOrder , (edited ) in When you see it

It’s Eva Vlaardingerbroek

OP is full of shit there is no Hitler picture in the original

dailybase.com/…/eva-vlaardingerbroek-heeft-the-be…

https://i.imgur.com/b5AY2TL.jpeg

Dkarma ,

Fix? Ruin.

Quadhammer ,

This is the actual fake

soggy_kitty ,

Ha ha jokes and false information funny haha

summerof69 ,

If you go to “Lemmy Shitpost” for factual information, the problem is on your side.

Kase ,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/05c925b3-27d8-4388-90f5-550eaeef9180.jpeg

soggy_kitty ,

Jpeg this some more please

Neon ,

wait, this whole article practically only talks about how beautiful she is

what kind of “newspaper” is this?!

ThirdWorldOrder ,

Well she is pretty far right so it’s probably best that way

zakobjoa ,
@zakobjoa@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, still a right wing shithead.

samus12345 , in It was in self-defence 🙃
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b5/46/23/b5462313a1936cc41c6d5278e26e0ed7.jpg

shundi82 ,

Well, she’s changed a lot after her 16th birthday:

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/80d9b28b-83cc-4cc7-b11c-3b35bfbf423c.jpeg

Resol ,
@Resol@lemmy.world avatar

The nose doesn’t look extremely weird anymore.

Wow, such a massive change.

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