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Blackmist , in Crypto genius

> Realise you still owe the credit card debt.

Deiv ,

Declare bankruptcy!

nonfuinoncuro ,

I didn’t just say it, I declared it

CADmonkey ,

Just commit a crime with a longer sentence than your state’s statute of limitations.

Belgdore ,

Commit crime, be on the books, get served in jail, be unable to appear in court, get a default judgment against you.

Varyk , in well guess what else is yellow ?

That dad is correct. History is yellow

Gork ,

Come to think of it, all of my history / social science folders were yellow.

It weird how nature do that.

Varyk ,

I feel like the dad is describing exactly how I color tabbed my folders.

Maybe there was some kind of standard back in the day?

DanglingFury ,

No cap, math is red as shit fam

Varyk ,

Red as shit. Science is blue and English is green, too, I’m pretty certain this is how I organized my school subjects

DanglingFury ,

History was yellow i think. Science def green. Purps for the social studies.

Varyk ,

Oh science being green rings a bell.

TotallyNotSpez , in Never forgetti

Did that can of coke receive the new coat of paint landlord edition treatment?

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

It asked for a renovation and this is a renovation what else would one want

squiblet ,
@squiblet@kbin.social avatar

It appears to be a work by an artist named Matt Eskuche, made from white glass. He has made a series of glass themed after “trash”, like replicas of crushed soda bottles and cans, and started making pipes at some point.

ryathal ,

That makes more sense. I thought it was some 90s era novelty phone based on the pattern of holes.

CaptPretentious ,

Oh you sweet innocent child.

silver13 , in Hey, the A.I said it not me.

Maybe the average professionally photographed in good lighting person…

baseless_discourse , (edited )

Also white; even though Europe and North America only have around 15% of the world population.

(I would try to find a better estimate of population of “white” people, which is not even a well-defined group, in the world; but I cannot find it.)

Siegfried ,

Maybe you are actually looking for Indo-European or eurasians descendants that at least has some meaning outside of AmericaTM

Edit: expected to easily find some rough estimates but there is nothing at hand. Will dive later in academic publications

TheBlue22 , in Free sex... (party)*… Become poor dog

I would hope that this is a very well-done satire, but religion rots people’s brains, so… I can’t be that sure.

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

That’s because you paid for butt sex and now your soul Spirit will disintegrate

TheBlue22 ,

Jokes on you, bucko, rats are cute and round and snuggly and soft and cute and don’t have a daily stress from the exam season 😭

I’d rather be a rat rn honestly

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

…Buuut “Bad food in sewer” ! Though to be fair the rats in NYC have a really nice fast food and pizza diet so…

Edit: tbf I don’t even know what they ment by that LOL

TheBlue22 ,

How could you possibly not understand such a well-made, not insane, not schizo poster?! /s

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

I’m sewer food lol

ininewcrow , in When Horses replace electric is the circle complete?
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

But does your car suffer from ulcers? And you can mend a flat tire - can you fix Dobbin’s broken leg? And when your car back fires, it makes a loud noise … when Dobbin backfires, he kicks you in the head.

Peppycito ,

Dobbin is capable of making new Dobbin’s.

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Dobbin is also capable of miscarrying a new Dobbin … when a car dies, it’s less emotionally draining, unless it’s a classic car that’s over 50 years old.

Peppycito ,

Yes, but say Dobbin breaks down and leaves you stranded. You can eat Dobbin. Or even do the Luke Skywalker and climb in.

ininewcrow ,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

You got me there … a Model T Ford is a bit hard to swallow … but you can keep warm inside your car, or set fire to it. Also Dobbin doesn’t produce a big black tire fire that can used to signal for help from far away.

EmoDuck ,

Spoken like a man who’s never set a horse on fire

TrenchcoatFullofBats ,

Does “mane charring” via “excessive friction” on Fluttershy count? Asking for a friend.

vonxylofon ,

Who says you can’t eat the car? Definitely not this guy: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito

cows_are_underrated ,

He fucking ate his own Guinness world record award.

PopShark ,

That’s metal

blazera , in Come ride me.
@blazera@kbin.social avatar

After all why shouldnt I? Im forklift certified.

steventhedev ,

You clearly haven’t watched your forklift safety video. Warning: blood starts a few minutes in.

PowerGloveSoBad ,

Handschlag mit Gefahr

MightyGalhupo ,

I love this

Maultasche ,

Klaus?

altasshet ,

Klaus.

Blackmist , in When the landlord asks for a tip

Has that ever happened to anyone, ever, or is it just Lemmies having a leftywank again?

Johanno ,

None of my victims ever paid a tip when I asked them /s

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

“leftywank” lmao I like it

It’s just a shitpost, but it’s good to hear that the satire is good enough that lots of people can’t tell if it’s real

Siegfried ,

There is a lot of shit happening in the US that i cant comprehend… like, “how do they tolerate this?”… At one point i just stopped questioning

aidan ,

No, it’s that it’s a common meme but never happens, so people are confirming that it’s just a meme. That doesn’t mean it’s a good or clever meme. If you constantly joke about pooping in sinks, eventually someone will ask if you actually poop in sinks.

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Who raised your rent lmao

aidan ,

No one

stillwater ,
Blackmist ,

All of those links sound like satire to me.

stillwater ,

You just really want to bitch about other people finding something funny then huh

LemmyKnowsBest ,

nah, he just really wants to know if it’s true or not.

stillwater ,

I have a bridge to sell you.

Random_user , in You guys need to stop

Cars aren’t about driving. You want to drive? Go to the track.
Cars are about getting from point A to point B. Bring on full automation please!

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Cars are about running down pedestrians, taking up space, eating hot chip and lie

BigBananaDealer ,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

why no banana? fukc you

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Fuck you banana dealer

Da_Boom ,
@Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

What was the pedestrian points system again?

  • 10 points for every child
  • 20 for every adult
  • 30 for a pram
  • 50 for a pushbike

Were there any others?

Go hit and run and rack up those points now!

Dagwood222 ,

youtu.be/F2GEKV1dOgY

For the uninformed.

LemmysMum ,

We played by slightly different score system but the ranking seems the same, we also included Old People, and Wheel Chairs / Mobility Scooters, which with your scoring system would be 75 and 100 respectively. Push bikes and prams would be switched as bikes are more common and prams more devastating so they’re worth more points. We also had bonus points for pedestrians caught off a cross-walk.

StephniBefni ,

I actually quite enjoy driving, especially at night, really helps me relax and get rid of anxiety. I would love to do a track day, but shits expensive.

RIP_Cheems ,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

On the one hand, I agree, but on the other hand, it’s one of the most dangerous times to drive

StephniBefni ,

Idk, I mean it’s darker, but there are also a lot less cars on the road. I do what I can for accident prevention, I have a dash cam as well, but nothing is 100% risk free and I’m gonna attempt to enjoy what life I have left, and driving is something I wnjoy.

PolarisFx ,
@PolarisFx@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I’ve been working nights for a good chunk of my life and I can’t understand why people say this. I prefer to drive at night, maybe if I didn’t live in a big city I might think differently. But, I’ve never had an accident, I rarely sit in traffic, cops generally have bigger shit to deal with at night so I don’t need to worry about speed traps or anything. I can’t think of any downside to night driving

RIP_Cheems ,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

At least for my area, the danger is deer. A few years back, a deer rammed into the side of my moms car just a few yards from the driveway, not to mention how skidish they are with vehicles in general.

n0m4n ,

1:30 to 3:30 is prime drunk driver time, in my area. This was when I was getting off work (11am to 3am shift). I hated that drive home. I drove a manual until the automatics’ fuel efficiency outweighed the cost of the automatics. I am an A-> B driver.

AtmaJnana ,
ByteWizard ,

See if there are any autocross groups in your area. Cheaper and safer than a track day with 95% of the thrill.

StephniBefni ,

There is an event in April in thinking about signing up for, it’s only about 200 bucks to enter and there are other events in the club later if I like it, also just in time for my birthday!

ByteWizard ,

Do it! If nothing else you should go to see how they are run. Bring a helmet if you have one, ride-alongs are super fun.

StephniBefni ,

If I go I will def want to drive, I bought a zoomie car for a reason.

Woht24 ,

Trolling or sad child?

RememberTheApollo_ ,

99% of people want just that. a -> b with a level of safety, fuel efficiency, comfort and a cell phone to distract them. Nobody wants to be constantly pumping the clutch in slow traffic on a daily commute. I have an automatic, and it’s perfect for DD. We also have a small, 6-cyl with a standard, and that car is a ton of fun for evenings out and weekends. I wouldn’t want to make myself or the car suffer in a metro area traffic jam moving at a snail’s pace.

michaelmrose ,

Short of actual full self driving which doesn’t presently exist why do you think your cell phone is part of your commute?

RememberTheApollo_ ,

That was just a sarcastic addition based on people not caring about or paying attention to/how divorced they are from driving and the driving experience.

AtmaJnana ,

Because the ideal commute doesn’t involve driving, it involves me reading Lemmy on my phone while the car drives me to work.

Or, ideally, just me riding my bicycle, but that’s unrealistic where I live.

StuffYouFear ,

A life time of stop and go traffic on i-35 had me get a auto when my last car died.

Bazoogle ,

I miss my manual transmission sometimes. Though after having an AirBNB in the mountains, I did not miss it. I never want to stop on a hill that steep in a manual.

Zehzin ,
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Cars are about getting from point A to point B.

We had a tool for that it was called public transportation

ZeroCool , in The History Channel, now in the fantasy section.

History channel 24/7 in 2023: “All accomplishments of ancient societies, but especially non-European societies, were impossible. The only explanation is aliens. Now here’s a racist who failed grade 9 world history to explain why.

WarmSoda ,

There’s a great video out there called Ancient Aliens Debunked and it tears into all the dumb shit that was claimed on that show.

I never understood why, WHY would you have such crazy people on a nationwide TV show like that?

Lowpast , (edited )

Have you considered that it’s a ploy to get people to learn about history through and absurd entertaining format? They present real history and then rather than trying to explain it, they give you nonsensical evidence, that, truly, very few people believe. And for the people that claim to “believe” it maybe you should look into Poes law

ZeroCool ,

Oh get off Lemmy, Giorgio Tsoukalos.

KingJalopy ,

👋🏽🧑🏽🖕🏽 “no”

Lowpast ,

Whoosh 😆

WarmSoda ,

What’s the whoosh part?

Lowpast ,

Think about it. A show with no grounding in facts. A series full of outlandish propositions. 200+ episodes that invalidate the accomplishments of the most intelligent species in the history of the planet… and get that very same species to believe it. How could such a thing be possible? Could it be that the producers of the show had help from beings of a different species altogether? And could that species have come… from a different planet altogether?

Or could it be, the average person won’t sit through an hour-long documentary… or worse, a 6-hour series, at a set time in a set place every week, but “factual entertainment”? The history channel has become extremely good at delivering interesting nuggets of information with very little elaboration, and if you were interested you could look it up on Wikipedia.

Or don’t. Think that this extremely well produced and funded show is about proving aliens is real, and not about getting viewers.

WarmSoda ,

I’m not high enough to properly respond to this ramble.

WarmSoda , (edited )

No.

Because it isn’t.

QuantumSparkles ,

Which one? There are several

WarmSoda ,

Probably all of them? Idk the one I have is from the 2010’s

EmergMemeHologram ,

What’s more likely, humans independently discovered chiseling and grinding stones to a smooth square finish and stacking them into the most structurally sound shape in more than one place, or aliens used space lasers to build pyramids?

dingus ,

Obviously space lasers

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

I thought we didn’t get the technology to circumcise space lasers (all the best space lasers are Jewish) until the middle of the industrial revolution.

plenipotentprotogod ,

I read something a while ago that really put all these “ancient mysteries” into perspective: Modern humans with modern brains have existed in our current form for at least tens of thousands of years. During that time we’ve seen huge advancement as a society thanks to the accumulation and sharing of scientific knowledge, but any individual human today has no more brainpower than one living 10,000 years ago.

In other words, if we can sit around today and brainstorm a dozen different ways to build a pyramid with nothing but ramps and levers, there’s absolutely no reason to think that the smartest builders in ancient egypt couldn’t have come up withl the same ideas or better.

Attributing these achievements to aliens, or divine intervention, or anything other than raw human ingenuity is a disservice to our ancestors.

shalafi , in The Sacred Hole

LOL, I’m 52 and I’d be all over this.

“What y’all doin’?”

“Making a hole.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Got another shovel?”

anarchy79 ,
@anarchy79@lemmy.world avatar

“Why”

This right here shows you’re 52.

eleefece , in Nice
@eleefece@lemmy.world avatar
AI_toothbrush ,

Ok but the hands are in a really seductive position…

idunnololz ,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

What hands

sag ,

That character from My Hero academia?

Piemanding ,

Yes it is. This image made the rounds a couple years ago.

saltesc , in Push It Somewhere Else

No one in the world wants your shitty Florida, especially that part of the world. You’re going to have to think of a more permanent ‘sunken without warning’ solution.

theodewere ,
@theodewere@kbin.social avatar

Europe has a serious lack of wooded swampland.. you need to consider this a little.. with one move, you could satisfy all your swamp needs for centuries to come probably.. and you get gators as a bonus.. that continent hasn't seen large aquatic reptilians in millions of years.. the kids will be excited, i guarantee it..

turddle ,

AND it comes with Disney World + Universal Studios? The kids will love it! You gotta take that deal. Think of the children!

Take it. Come on. Please.

LeberechtReinhold ,
@LeberechtReinhold@lemmy.world avatar

We got our swamps, but then came the Dutch and they defeated the sea.

theodewere ,
@theodewere@kbin.social avatar

you'll have to keep the Dutch out completely.. setup check points around the Alps so none get through with shovels..

m_r_butts ,

deleted_by_author

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  • Tvkan ,

    Sssshhh. Let it sink.

    Viking_Hippie ,

    Not before we evacuate VoicePlay from Orlando!

    Tvkan ,

    May a capella sink with it.

    Viking_Hippie ,

    Sounds like you need the best ever versions of Oogie Boogie’s Song from A Nightmare Before Christmas and We Don’t Talk About Bruno from Encanto in your life to show you the true meaning of excellence.

    cashews_best_nut , in On the morning train

    Barrelling out of a club, mid comedown as the sun is coming up and seeing all the bright and cheery people on a Sunday morning going to church or wherever. You’re dressed in flourescent clubbing gear caked in grime and sweat from 8hrs of dancing.

    This picture is VERY accurate.

    havokdj ,

    Hell yeah, that’s the real church though at the end of the day

    worldsayshi ,

    Thriller starts playing

    sexy_peach , in RIP

    Why is it bad when ants do it?

    Triple_B ,

    They run in that circle until they die because they’re all following the one in front of them.

    JoShmoe ,

    Can’t you redirect their focus by dropping something nutritious nearby?

    paddirn ,

    You probably could and that might redirect their focus for a bit, but I would think if they’ve lost the scent/trail back to their hill (which is the original cause for the death spiral in the first place), they’re permanently fubar’d, since they’ll never find their way back unless by accident. It might just delay the inevitable.

    Mirodir ,

    I would assume you could redirect them to where the scent trail is present/stronger again, i.e. very close to their hill.

    ScrambleVerdict ,

    Create a scent access point!

    registrert ,
    @registrert@lemmy.sambands.net avatar

    They’re just following the trail of pheromones ahead of them. It goes around in circles so they’ll just walk and walk until they die of exhaustion.

    Never heard about it so had to read up on it, it’s as obscure as a rat king to me.

    funkless_eck ,

    rat kings are mostly fake though

    idegenszavak ,

    Current sience says it’s very rare, but can happen naturally. There are multiple confirmed modern sightings.

    funkless_eck ,

    I did say “most,” 1963, 2005 and 2021 are the only real ones I can find.

    Compared to there being dozens in the 17th and 18th centuries

    explodicle ,

    I imagine we did more rat watching back then.

    mjhelto ,

    They didn’t have YouTube.

    dasgoat ,

    RatTube. Where it’s just, you watch a tube with rats in it.

    mjhelto ,

    Like a kaleidoscope!

    dasgoat ,

    But this one eats you when you look down it! Hooray!

    registrert ,
    @registrert@lemmy.sambands.net avatar

    What makes you say that?

    funkless_eck ,

    reason why i said “most” not “all” most examples are from the 17th and 18th century when proof was hard to ascertain and there have only been a handful of modern occurring examples since the prevalence of science and photography

    registrert ,
    @registrert@lemmy.sambands.net avatar

    Fair enough.

    Curiousfur ,

    Far fewer rats living like they did in the 17th and 18th century nowadays, though. It really feels like one of those things where it’s difficult to prove either way since the conditions cannot be duplicated in modern times. I’m still leaning towards more being faked, but not having huge chunks of a population living in 17th century squalor may be a factor in whether or not a rat king could actually form.

    funkless_eck ,

    fair. but having gone through a phase where I read all of Crowley, Eteilla, Charles Fort, bunch of Golden Dawn / Rosicrucian texts etc I just get this feeling that it was hokum most of the time for dramatic effect

    mjhelto ,

    Far fewer rats living like they did in the 17th and 18th century nowadays, though.

    TIL rats also have wealthy capitalists siphoning the means of production. Imagine being a rat back then. All the free food and squalor. Makes sense there would be more kings!

    ehrenschwan ,

    I believe they usually follow the trail of the ants walking infront of them so when they’re walking in a circle they’ll technically walk in a circle indefinitely.

    TofuWater ,
    @TofuWater@lemmy.world avatar

    Ants follow eachother in a line so they don’t get lost on their way back to the nest. When they’ve lost track of the scent for any number of different reasons back to the nest they will follow the ant in front of them for guidance eventually turning into a “death spiral” seen in the picture. The ants are lost and will never find their way home and will march to their deaths.

    DesolateMood ,

    :(

    Th4tGuyII ,
    @Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

    This death spiral/"ant mill" is actually quite short, though still deadly - in the worst case scenarios, a death spiral can be literally kilometers long, some ants might not even make a single revolution around it, which is kinda terrifying to think about.

    Monkeyhog ,

    I’m not an ant, so it’s not really scary at all to me.

    SkyeStarfall ,

    You don’t follow the pheromones of fellow humans when you lose track of home?

    Triple_B ,

    I did once, but I got arrested.

    mjhelto ,

    And banned from Sea World?

    misterdoctor ,

    Makes you wonder why they’d shout hurrah in that situation.

    DanyBGoode ,
    @DanyBGoode@mujico.org avatar

    Would like to know as well.

    systemglitch ,

    Circle of death! Rip circle ants.

    HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
    @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

    How do we make this just, you know, happen I fuckin hate ants

    kattenluik ,

    There’s zero reason to hate ants? What a lame comment.

    TeraFloppy ,

    Have you had ants setup shop in your coffee maker before, or you cereal? Ants that follow you to work in your butt crack somehow? Lucky you.

    systemglitch ,

    Personally input everything with sugar in it in a sealed container. Started doing that about 8 years ago and I’ve never had an issue with ants since (they were the reason I started doing that).

    Butcrack ants are pretty funny though

    LukeMedia ,

    I always get ants in my bathroom, there’s no sugar in my bathroom.

    HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
    @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

    They’re going after my fucking water.

    ArcaneSlime ,

    They won’t stay out of my fucking kitchen so I hate them too. Seriously never had this bad of a problem until this house, I too would like to know how to weaponize circle pits in my kitchen.

    If they could read the “no ants allowed” sign we’d be alright, they’re free to live their lives, until they become home invaders, then I have to defend myself.

    mjhelto ,

    I mean, to be real, they were there first and are the most abundant terrestrial creature in the planet.

    Joking aside, ants go where there are reasons to go; food, security, and refuge. You can use a natural insecticide, lemongrass, to repel them. Hotshot was a product I used in the past to spray around windows and doors. It’s safe for pets and children after it has time to dry. Not sure what you’ve tried, but that has worked for me.

    ArcaneSlime ,

    The only thing that actually worked for me so far was Terro traps, but in this house unlike my previous residences they just. Keep. Coming. There must be some kinda supercolony under this neighborhood or something. Maybe Antman’s lair.

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