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ericisshort , in Trump McGill

I am not crazy! I know he stole those votes. I got more votes than 2016, one more than MAGA Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn’t prove it. He covered his tracks, he got those idiots at the elections commission to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He’s done worse. That son of his! Are you telling me that Hunter just happens to be in business with Ukraine? No! He orchestrated it! Joey! And his son defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn’t have! What was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn’t keep his hands off the children! “But not our Joey! Couldn’t be precious Joey!” And HE gets to be the president? What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance!

Broodjefissa ,

This is a top level parody! Thank you for this.

funkless_eck ,

kid named four seasons

ericisshort ,

*kid actually named four seasons total landscaping

bleistift2 , in Only thing getting developed is a headache

It’s incredibly how much of the work gets done while staring out the window thinking about nothing at all related to the task at hand.

NocturnalMorning ,

Definitely solved a problem or two while I was sleeping.

Zaphod ,

Since you spent your sleep being productive, should that count as overtime?

NocturnalMorning ,

Maybe, but did it? Absolutely not.

theneverfox ,
@theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

When I was working on my last big project, every morning I started to be between dreaming and waking up in the code world, chasing through the flows of data from various perspectives.

I didn’t get the same “aha!” Moments that sneak up on you, but it did help me understand the system I built

Even_Adder , in Pretty fly for a Venn diagram

Can someone explain the kunai intersection to me?

dual_sport_dork ,
@dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world avatar

A throwing (“flying”) knife.

Even_Adder ,

Tenuous at best.

phorq ,

I thought it was the kun sound kn in knife would make on its own and the ai sound the y in fly makes.

duckington ,

“Pretty fly for a kunai”

RojoSanIchiban ,

Ichi ni san yon go go roku

Leate_Wonceslace ,
@Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

1234556?

(一ニ三四五五六)

dreadgoat ,
@dreadgoat@kbin.social avatar

The original song goes
Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis

It's stupid on purpose and makes sense if you listen to the lyrics

Viking_Hippie ,

Stupid on purpose? That’s my favorite kind of stupid! ❤️‍🔥

deadbeef79000 ,

I’m 40% stupid.

Clank, clank.

creditCrazy ,
@creditCrazy@lemmy.world avatar

I suppose there’s a few blokes like me that have no idea what song you guys are talking about

Obi ,
@Obi@sopuli.xyz avatar

The offspring.

raspberriesareyummy ,

offspring - pretty fly (for a white guy)

RojoSanIchiban ,

Yep, dumbass dorky (often tenuous) references is what I’m all about. Especially when it’s Star Trek.

Plus it’s a bit of a reference back to my username too.

dreadgoat ,
@dreadgoat@kbin.social avatar

A helicopter would work and be much funnier.

someguy3 ,

Oh creative. I like it.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, it falls apart with that one.

thedirtyknapkin ,

i might have preferred a ballistic knife if we’re being weird anyway.

creditCrazy ,
@creditCrazy@lemmy.world avatar

As a TF2 fan I didn’t know you threw those

uis ,
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

Probably ypu should teleport less bread

creditCrazy ,
@creditCrazy@lemmy.world avatar

Too late I’ve already done nothing but teleport bead for three days straight

uis ,
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

Where?

sub_ubi ,

Pretty weak. All the others are great though

Bizarroland ,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

I came to find the same thing. How does a butcher knife and a fly become a kunai?

PM_ME_FEET_PICS ,

That’s a chefs knife.

Bizarroland ,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Chef's knives and butcher knives are used interchangeably in my variant of the English language.

I would need to see an infographic on what differentiates them

A7thStone ,

Butcher’s knives tend to have a wider blade than chef’s knives. They have kind of converged in the states, but classically that is the difference.

I_Fart_Glitter ,
Bizarroland ,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Based on that infographic, yes, I means a chefs knife, and I have never owned or held a butchers knife in my life.

caseyweederman ,

Are you a butcher?

Bizarroland ,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Based off the fact that I have never held a butcher's knife in my entire life I would say the answer is no, I am not a butcher of anything other than the English language

caseyweederman ,

Case closed.

PM_ME_FEET_PICS ,

Username checks out.

saigot , (edited )

I’m not sure either, but when you google “fly knife” the kunai is the top result but the wiki page doesn’t mention t at all, maybe because it’s stereotypically a throwing (flying) knife?

over_clox , (edited ) in See?!

Hi, is this tutor still available?

Edit: I guess the downvoters can’t catch a joke. For context, I’m 41 years old, plenty old enough for tutoring lessons…

Fixbeat ,

Noice!

Zoidsberg ,
@Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca avatar

Would you be making jokes if a male teacher had raped a female student?

over_clox ,

The joke is she would have been totally legal with me.

over_clox , (edited )

You know what the real joke here is? Not a damn thing in that screenshot says anything about the student being underage, for all I fucking know the student is a 30 year old college student.

Not like I even give a fuck anymore, I’m not stupid enough to check random short links from screenshots, especially in a shitposting community. Give me a fully qualified link or I’m just gonna treat it like the joke it might as well be.

If it’s serious enough to get upset about, why no fully qualified link?

DosDude , (edited )
@DosDude@retrolemmy.com avatar
over_clox ,

Oof. Well thank you for the link and the context. I’m just not in any habit of checking short links or Googling such topics from a screenshot in a shitposting community.

Exusia ,
@Exusia@lemmy.world avatar

cbsnews.com/…/brianne-altice-teacher-in-student-s…

  • Here you go. It’s from 2016. “grades improved teacher sex student” was all it took to find this article. it doesnt take

all that much work

to find these.

To re-pose the question. Why is it different when it’s a Male teacher and female student

Same thing. Attractive person in a position of power. Is it still the same thing?

over_clox ,

Okay, thank you for the links and the context.

Sorry, but I’m not in any habit of Googling such things, I don’t care to have any such shit in my search history. The proper link should have been posted in the original post, but then again this is a shitposting community, so let’s just pretend I take anything seriously here…

Rivalarrival ,

I don’t know how many times I fantasized about one of my teachers. I take offense to the idea that I would have been considered a “victim” if I had managed to achieve one of my dreams.

david , in police moment

Top troll trolling.

captain_aggravated , in LPT: Never get a tattoo in a language that you don't understand
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

Wasn’t a tattoo, but a motorcycle decal. This dude had a Kawasaki crotch rocket with five kanji characters on it. Posted it to a forum, and this weeb says “lol where’d you get that?” dude answers all defensively “From the mall, why?” Weeb says “It says pig bird pig lizard dog.” “No dude, it says N-I-N-J-A.” He thought kanji characters translated directly to the latin alphabet.

Siegfried ,

豕 鳥 豕 蜴 犬

FlihpFlorp ,

Wait did the characters look like the letters for ninja or was it the (I’m assuming Japanese) equivalent of the letter n then I and so on

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

I don’t precisely remember, I’m recalling a forum post I read at least a decade ago, but I do recall that he had at least tried to literally translate the letters “NINJA” to Asian text beyond just picking some McDojo font. I don’t know if he had attempted to find kanji characters that looked relatively like latin letters or if someone convinced him that “This one means N” or something.

Resistentialism ,

Damn, I kinda wanna play my English ninja wkth the Japanese word for ninja. But I do not want to end up like that.

leekleak , in "The "fediverse" is the future of social media"
@leekleak@lemmy.world avatar

I mean a person even having heard of the fediverse is miles better than doomscrolling twitter or reddit

AtaKe OP ,
@AtaKe@lemmy.ca avatar

Can’t argue with this one

Albin7326 ,
@Albin7326@suppo.fi avatar

Actually the same thing is also happening in fediverse. No difference.

spacecowboy ,

Only difference is here nobody is cashing in on our depression.

nyoooom ,

Yet

spacecowboy ,

If this became proprietary you can bet a large portion of the user base would leave. You can take that to the bank.

nyoooom ,

Some actors can probably turn everything to shit without having direct control over the platform tho

Seraph , (edited ) in RIP in piece
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

Blows my mind that she was still making important decisions for this country two decades after the rest of us are told we're too old to work.

burntbutterbiscuits ,

I don’t think she was making any decisions actually. Not even regarding which direction to wipe.

Bipta ,

You're never too old to work, citizen.

killeronthecorner ,
@killeronthecorner@lemmy.world avatar

Please report to the workatorium for reassignment

Currens_felis , in the future is now, old man

Where do I become a holy fool?

Deadeyegai ,
@Deadeyegai@lemmy.world avatar

Right? Like does it come with good benefits and a 401k match too? I mean I’m already sold but the highwayman job is quite lacking in that space. Asking for a friend

photonic_sorcerer ,
@photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Have you seen those televangelists? They make fucking bank.

realitista ,

Your local church

mambabasa , in We are all made of carbon
@mambabasa@slrpnk.net avatar

FYI, this is a right-wing dog whistle popularized during the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s now an anti-vaxxer talking point.

seSvxR3ull7LHaEZFIjM , in let's place it on the bottom....

This picture isn’t real.

Dntshoot ,

No shit

Rayspekt ,

Sadly

Diplomjodler ,

And Zuma and Rouseff haven’t been in power for quite a while.

ShaggySnacks ,

I figured as much, it looks a like badly photoshopped picture using MS Paint. The Russian Flag shows it the MS Paint. However, the joke still works.

Zaphod , in Uno reverse 🔁

Legend says if you say Twitter 13 times inside of a Tesla at 4:20am, Elon Musk will appear inside the car

MentalEdge ,
@MentalEdge@lemmy.world avatar

More likely that the autopilot kicks in, locks the doors, and drives into a lake.

ApathyTree ,
@ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

That’s going to happen anyway when he enables The Code, he just has to wait for enough people to buy them to save the climate he’s actively helping destroy with rockets, then he gets all them tree hugger no good hippies in one go!

/foil hat

LEDZeppelin ,

And if you say Twitter 69 times inside of a Tesla models S3XY at sharp 4:20am, Elon Musk will cum inside the car

carl_dungeon ,

Probably just disables your car

gravitas_deficiency , (edited ) in Absolutely nothing of note happened in China in June 1989, right?

As of the writing of this comment, 3 tankies have seen this post

Edit: T+15h: 35 tankies (829 up). And 5 of those saw this comment.

WtfEvenIsExistence ,

Wait till you learn about the ideology of one of the lemmy devs…

gravitas_deficiency ,

Oh I know all about that. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy clowning on tankies on lemmy.ml so hard.

Fun fact: the .ml TLD is officially designated as belonging to Mali; the lemmy devs chose it as an acronym for “Marxist-Leninist”. This caused problems very recently when Mali suddenly re-exerted control of their TLD, where previously they did not take an active hand in its management.

I’ll copy the top comment there, because it’s actually kind of important if you’re at all into web infra or self-hosting:

Using ccTLDs when you have no relationship with the country is just asking for trouble. Comes across as naive and unprofessional, although I’ve seen many serious infrastructure built upon .co and .io names.

SaveComengs ,

i think the Marxist Leninist thing is disputed, It’s just a rumour and we don’t know if the devs chose it for that or they chose it because it was free on freenom

gravitas_deficiency ,

It’s a rumor, but the devs themselves have said they’re strongly Marxist-Leninist

GreenMario ,

I heard it was cuz .ML was free to get a domain from.

Hubi ,

I don’t see any reason to care about that as long as they aren’t forcing their opinions on anyone tbh.

persolb ,

This. Unless your use/purchase directly supports something you disagree with, people shouldn’t be worried so much. Companies and organizations are huge. They are all going to contain shitty people.

If you are on the internet, you have no choice but to indirectly supporting shitty people.

If you are worried about that do actual politics, not this ‘you eat ChikFilA you monster’ type shit.0

AlexWIWA ,

Yup. And they literally gave us the tools to take our toys and go home to make our own fun if we don’t like the way they run Lemmy.ml.

GreenMario ,

Lemmy is open source so it doesn’t matter. Devs come and go.

ImFresh3x ,

I don’t see why I should care, as long as their not assholes, not breaking their own rules, and not abusing their powers as devs.

GBU_28 ,

Why would I care?

a1_15 ,

hexbear alt spotted!! this is the most popular comment that those fascits/bigots/neo-terrorists post in any thread that makes salty!

WtfEvenIsExistence ,

?

a1_15 ,

¿

AlwaysNowNeverNotMe , in Reality for thee, not for me
@AlwaysNowNeverNotMe@kbin.social avatar

I'll eat my hat after convicted and sentenced and not a second sooner.

KevonLooney ,

Don’t look at the conviction rate for federal prosecutors then. And stock up on BBQ sauce. A NY jury would convict Trump of just being fat and ugly, that’s how much everyone (including Republicans) hate him. People literally go out of their way to make their dogs pee on Trump Tower.

You will just change your mind and say “He should have gotten more time! 5 years is nothing. House arrest? His house is huge!”

For a former president, that’s the worst possible.

Semi-Hemi-Demigod ,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

Maybe people in Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Manhattan hate him, but Staten Island, Long Island, and upstate NY are Trump country

KevonLooney ,

Where do you think all the people live? It’s not Staten Island.

Semi-Hemi-Demigod ,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

TIL nobody lives on Staten Island.

Guess it’s all vampires.

Tb0n3 ,

Such a high win rate for federal prosecutions is indicative of a problem. Whether that be only taking cases which they are assured victory or winning against those who are not guilty, they’re both wrong.

kirklennon ,

The criminal justice system is intended to be biased in favor of the defendants as innocent until proven guilty. Consequently, if everything were working perfectly, I'd expect prosecutors to only charge people if they were extremely confident that they could prove the person's guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Taking cases without solid evidence and regularly losing at trial would be indicative of a major problem.

Tb0n3 ,
kirklennon ,

If prosecutors lost more cases, that would mean they were being even more aggressive in over-prosecuting flimsy cases.

VikingHippie ,

Especially when you dig a little deeper and look into socio-economic and racial ratios of both prosecutions in general and convictions.

It’s a system by and for the rich and powerful, designed to protect people exactly like Trump while criminalizing poverty and melanin.

bassomitron ,

Republican voters absolutely still love him. Just look at early polling for the GOP primaries, he’s still leading by a huge landslide in the majority of states: nytimes.com/…/2024-poll-nyt-siena-trump-republica…

Is it depressing as hell that so many people are still obsessed with this corrupt, shitty buffoon? Definitely. But I keep seeing more and more comments on here acting like Trump is irrelevant and his base is virtually non-existent when that’s just not true (which is ironic, given how one of the main criticisms against Trump and his ilk is their detachment from reality).

VikingHippie ,

conviction rate for federal prosecutors

The thing is that they, like state and local prosecutors, prosecute poor people who can’t afford effective representation tens if not hundreds of times as often.

If you isolate their stats with regards to rich and/or powerful defendants like the Mango Mussolini, suddenly they don’t convict at anywhere near that rate.

The difference is so immense that even an obviously guilty oaf with incompetent and unhinged lawyers like him is more likely than not to win or at the very least delay until his own death at his country club home.

Ya_Boy_Skinny_Penis ,

Oh so you “isolated the stats” then.

Great, share them!

VikingHippie ,

Even though it doesn’t seem like you’re gonna argue in good faith, here’s a review of a book about it.

AlwaysNowNeverNotMe ,
@AlwaysNowNeverNotMe@kbin.social avatar

I'll sit on the laurel of all the presidents who have been convicted of their crimes so far.

KevonLooney ,

While you’re looking at them, compare their average approval ratings. Trump has the lowest of them all, having never broken 50% approval.

AlwaysNowNeverNotMe ,
@AlwaysNowNeverNotMe@kbin.social avatar

I'm sure that will really hamper him in the popularity contest portion of the trial but he will pick those back up in the swimsuit contest.

sundrei ,
@sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

I get what you’re saying, but yuck

redballooon ,

But it’s certainly nice to see that the path towards that situation is still open.

Steeve ,

I’m eat my hat either way because I have a problem

Lord_ToRA ,
@Lord_ToRA@lemmy.world avatar

What’s your favorite flavor?

shadearg ,
@shadearg@lemmy.world avatar

My scrilla on MacKenzie Tartan Tammy.

DragonTypeWyvern , in What more need be said about it?

“This author deserves to die on welfare”

dublet ,
Venomnik0 ,

She did technically die on welfare.

Zalack ,
@Zalack@startrek.website avatar

Thatsthejoke.jpeg.zip

explodicle ,

She criticized society, yet chose to participate in it. Curious!

orphiebaby ,
@orphiebaby@lemmy.world avatar

To borrow a Britishism: Are you daft, mate?

You want her to live out in the woods? That’s basically a death sentence, yeah?

explodicle ,
orphiebaby ,
@orphiebaby@lemmy.world avatar

Oh! That’s some good stuff. But then why didn’t you upload the reference, fam? Or at least add “/s”? ^^

explodicle ,

I should’ve, I thought it was more obvious.

orphiebaby ,
@orphiebaby@lemmy.world avatar

Poe’s Law, fam! ^^

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