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Cosmicomical , in Get in the Hilux

Shitpost? This is just unadulterated truth

kokesh , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"
@kokesh@lemmy.world avatar

Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!

Gestrid ,

“Hey, Google, I’m having sex!”

Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.

dQw4w9WgXcQ ,

The stereo starts playing Yakety Sax

bfg9k , in Thanks internet!
@bfg9k@lemmy.world avatar

misinformation time

Sorgan71 , in Thanks internet!

I used it to watch a man die on a horse’s cock when I was 7

Konstant ,

deleted_by_author

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  • umbrella ,
    @umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

    horse cocks are a hell of a workout, yes

    FangedWyvern42 ,
    @FangedWyvern42@lemmy.world avatar

    That video isn’t the time that killed him, so don’t worry all you saw was a man fucking a horse.

    crazyminner , in Sleep soundly

    I’ve never so readily said “yes please” when looking at something before.

    As soon as I saw the image those are the first words that came to mind.

    Duamerthrax , in Loyalty

    All that drama for dyed corn syrup.

    GladiusB ,
    @GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

    Real maple syrup is better. Fight me.

    Rediphile ,

    No one in their right mind would disagree with your position.

    Baylahoo ,

    I might be the 10th dentist but I grew up with the fake stuff and enjoy it far more. I didn’t understand why all of the “nice syrups” tasted awful comparatively.

    pineapplelover ,

    On an episode of Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay gave this chef two similar dishes, and I believe the chef enjoyed the one that tasted like instant microwave food. So you probably just have shit taste. Fortunately, once Ramsay cooked some good food up for the guy, he shed tears and loved it. There is hope for you yet.

    EmperorHenry , in Loyalty
    @EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    A buddy of mine and I did some research into the real-life aunt Jemima.

    Apparently she was a really cool lady.

    brown567 ,

    The African American Registry of the United States suggests Nancy Green and others who played the caricature of Aunt Jemima should be celebrated despite what has been widely condemned as a stereotypical and racist brand image. The registry wrote, “We celebrate the birth of Nancy Green in 1834. She was a Black storyteller and one of the first Black corporate models in the United States.”

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aunt_Jemima

    brown567 ,

    Her financial freedom and stature as a national spokesperson enabled her to become a leading advocate against poverty and in favor of equal rights for the black population. She used her stature as a spokesperson to advocate against poverty and in favor of equal rights for individuals in Chicago.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Green

    CaptPretentious , (edited )

    So instead of celebrating her on the bottle, or doing something to recognize her… They go the other direction and just remove her.

    Freefall ,

    Activists tripping over their own feet…as usual.

    HawlSera ,

    Eyup, this is how you know it’s performative instead of actually fighitng racism.

    HaleHirsute ,

    I saw news reporting about it at the time, and if I recall correctly her descendants were actually proud of her being the mascot and thought it was cool.

    EmperorHenry ,
    @EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    “Her descendants like her image being on the syrup bottles! BUT THAT’S A HECKIN RACISM!”

    HaleHirsute ,

    I know it’s all messed up and just in case I’m not ok’ing racism that’s for sure.

    garbagebagel ,

    Reminds me of when they tried to kill Speedy Gonzales. It sure as heck wasn’t mexicans that were complaining then, we love that little mofo.

    Tolookah , in "Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

    After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.

    Edit: sorry for facts on shit post

    GroundedGator ,

    This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.

    People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.

    iiGxC ,

    Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?

    Tangent5280 ,

    I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.

    iiGxC ,

    Yeah, but you still gotta go through it

    Viking_Hippie ,

    I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.

    iiGxC ,

    Did you have to get a USE to join the band?

    BarrelAgedBoredom ,

    Should’ve gone to Gainesville

    ReputedlyDeplorable ,

    Yes here is an article about it. Article

    The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”

    Tangent5280 ,

    30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.

    CosmicTurtle0 ,

    That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?

    GoodEye8 ,

    Beat your meat in the missus?

    bobs_monkey ,

    Gotta wait for the clear bill of health

    robotica ,

    You’re lying. 42 a day is the limit.

    billiam0202 ,

    Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.

    Source: got snipped.

    clif ,

    When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.

    Doctor’s orders! 🫡

    TexMexBazooka ,

    Lol I was given the same advice.

    “Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”

    surewhynotlem ,

    I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.

    fossphi ,

    Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done

    CosmicTurtle0 ,

    Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.

    That’s just good science.

    tacosanonymous ,

    Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?

    FiniteBanjo ,

    To clarify why, it’s because sperm travels through those tubes for at least 5 days before reaching maturity and then once in position can be ejaculated by a pressure differential caused by the prostate (that bulb thing between the balls and urethra). So an effective switch with an instant effect would need to be placed before but directly adjacent to the prostate which could have potential complications when the prostate attempts to dry fire with the feed shuttered.

    The solution is clearly to add a synthetic pressure bladder. (Don’t, I’m joking).

    zea_64 , in me_irl

    That’s just every bisexual person while driving

    FlihpFlorp , in Post a prompt, have an art from this insane russian

    a cool sword that’s definitely not a stick I found on my walk

    andrew_bidlaw OP ,
    @andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works avatar

    That’s a magical mega stick that buffs your STR. It’s magic is in adjusting to your journey, not making it too easy, but challenging and enjoyable.

    https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/5c6a5a99-30bf-4edb-b2d3-c3e20f6b98f6.jpeg

    FlihpFlorp , (edited )

    wondrous

    flambonkscious , in Sleep soundly

    I want one!

    Sam_Bass , in Loyalty

    Putting a pig in a dress doesnt change the pig

    tektite ,

    But what if you put lipstick on it

    Sam_Bass ,

    Still a pig

    AlligatorBlizzard , in Sleep soundly

    Nice photo of a black cat.

    unreachable ,
    @unreachable@lemmy.world avatar

    the abyss never reveals themselves

    feedum_sneedson , in The worst pick-up line I've ever gotten

    She’s my hero.

    uis ,

    Who?

    feedum_sneedson ,

    Queen Rowling, of course.

    unreachable , in Get in the Hilux
    @unreachable@lemmy.world avatar
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