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What are the worst names you could give a baby boy?

Hello you awesome people,

Friends are having a boy and everyone they know wants to push a name on the child. So I decided to be the best friend they could have and to offer only bad, ugly or horrendous names to the lucky parents so they could have a laugh. I already send them some names and dictators, Smeagol, Steve and Juan-Esteban.

So please, people or Lemmy, give me the worst names you could give a child, so that I can help them as a good friend!

Ps: don’t worry, I’ve already planned some meals to drop off when the gremlin will be there to feed the parents. And some take-out vouchers so they won’t get food poisoning

OrkneyKomodo ,

Pubert

FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

Only if Pube is considered as it’s diminutive!

Spaghetti_Hitchens , (edited )

Her comes lil Pubey!

GammaGames ,

Fucking Pubert!

shiveyarbles ,

Boink! Boink! Boink,! X2$&#@!?!

Lauchs ,

A friend went with Gilbert, which seems like a strong contender.

FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

Gilli gilli!

Spaghetti_Hitchens ,

As someone who grew up in Gilbert, I suddenly feel dirtier.

eezeebee ,
@eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

Adolf

FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

That wouldn’t fly with the city clerk in Belgium. But then again, one can always try!

FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

Should have made a joke with “nein”, but people would be Fuhrerious about it!

velox_vulnus ,

deleted_by_author

    •
    dingus ,

    A lot of names are cool but then get ruined with shit like that. I always thought Isis was a beautiful name. But terrorism ruined it.

    MacroCyclo ,

    My neighbor named her dog Isis like the Greek God. It was not timely lol

    hungryphrog ,

    Isis is Egyptian!

    sadbehr ,
    @sadbehr@lemmy.nz avatar

    And Goddess! (not a God.)

    MacroCyclo ,

    Shows how much I listened to her about it. Whoops!

    sadbehr ,
    @sadbehr@lemmy.nz avatar

    Also an awesome post metal band Isis. I have a t-shirt of theirs with the lyrics to a song called ‘Dying Light’ which is about death, the afterlife and reincarnation sorta stuff, needless to say I haven’t been able to wear it in many years.

    rustydomino ,
    @rustydomino@lemmy.world avatar

    Severus.

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    The name of a guy that couldn’t let go of one girl and was a dick to her innocent kid. Wicked!

    mypasswordis1234 ,
    @mypasswordis1234@lemmy.world avatar

    X Æ A-12

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    The only way to escape a name like that is to take a phallic rocket to mars and start a new colony

    cheese_greater ,

    How do you even pronunce that?

    ChrisLicht ,

    Dixon.

    cheese_greater ,

    Is (the name at issue) this some unicode shit or sumfing?

    ChrisLicht ,

    It’s what a manchild thinks is sci-fi.

    Susaga ,
    @Susaga@ttrpg.network avatar

    It’s only pronounced that way because he’s a dick’s son.

    ChrisLicht ,

    That was the joke, but I trust it’s much improved by the explication.

    XEAL ,

    Shi-thead

    dingus ,

    Honestly such a classic youtu.be/r_Ua8iOR0g8?si=D-UWy03OoBxFszEy

    Man those were the golden days of yt

    XEAL ,

    I may have seen that one too, but I was thinking about this one, lol

    youtu.be/Bm1SLX4WBCo?

    LazaroFilm ,
    @LazaroFilm@lemmy.world avatar

    I read they pronounce it Xavier

    cheese_greater , (edited )

    For real?

    Edit: doesnt he have a Xavier already?

    Edit: duplicative

    YexingTudou ,

    Does he care about any of his kids enough to know if there’s already a Xavier?

    nitefox ,

    Xavier v2.0

    Kevo ,

    No joke, it’s pronounced Kyle. It’s the Greek letter chi, the dipthong æ which is called an æsc (pronounced ash) that makes a sound similar to the “a” in “cat” but shorter, and A-12 stands for “alphabet 12” or the 12th letter of the alphabet which is L. So chi-æ-l or kinda like a two syllable “Kyle”

    cheese_greater ,

    Wow, I see it now. That is beyond retarded. Jesus Christ

    bizzle ,
    @bizzle@lemmy.world avatar

    Pretty fuckin cringe that you’re still calling stuff retarded lmfao 1998 called they want their insults back

    hungryphrog ,

    Can we not throw slurs around?

    SigloPseudoMundo ,

    It’s pronounced kyle

    SpeakinTelnet ,
    @SpeakinTelnet@sh.itjust.works avatar

    The only winner here is his sister who’s name was not as publicized. Exa Dark Siderael

    zalgotext ,

    Sounds like a hidden boss in a final fantasy game

    cheese_greater ,

    Actually so many boss fights in life

    SatanicNotMessianic ,

    Sue.

    justhach ,
    @justhach@lemmy.world avatar

    I dont know about that.

    See, this world is rough, and if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough. If a father knew he wouldn’t be there to help his son along he could, hypothetically, give him that name, say goodbye, and know his son would have to get tough or die.

    That very name would then help to make him strong.

    Semi-Hemi-Demigod ,
    @Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

    Right but everyone would be like "haha sue like the song" and he'd get so annoyed

    Spaghetti_Hitchens ,

    I bet Sue'd be able to put up one hell of a fight.

    cheese_greater ,

    More like “Suetable”

    bestusername ,
    @bestusername@aussie.zone avatar

    He’d hunt you down and beat the snot out of you!

    deegeese ,

    Donald

    Bizarroland ,
    @Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

    Hey that was my dad's name. Nothing wrong with being a Donald, worst case your name is a little bit dated.

    CJOtheReal ,

    Jennifer

    ekky43 ,

    Hell, if the Amaricans and Vietnamese can call a girl “Kim”, then we can call a boy “Jennifer” and say we got inspired.

    30p87 ,

    5 names at once.

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    As a guy that has 5 first names, I take offense!

    30p87 ,

    Last time I met someone with 5 names we were in a psychiatry.

    ^Just\ a\ note^

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    Maybe my mom tried to tell everyone about my personality just by giving them my names?

    30p87 ,

    It probably reflects her mental state too, depending on what the names are.

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    She put a little Pedro in there. 30 years later and I still don’t know why

    30p87 ,

    At least the depressed guys names had meaning oh god darwin

    Bizarroland ,
    @Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

    Polysyllabic words too.

    Rosicrucian Bellefonte Adelaide Dormandius Xavier {last name} III (as there is no legal requirement to actually have a I and a II first)

    yenahmik ,

    I once knew someone who refused to tell anyone the name they chose before the baby was born (absolutely valid choice, IMO). The grandpa-to-be chose to exclusively refer to the fetus as Beelzebub.

    Freeman , (edited )

    That is normal around where I live, because you never know if it will be alice alive after birth. So I mostly see the name in the birth-card my friends usually send

    klemptor ,

    Alice Afterbirth is a great name for the placenta

    zalgotext ,

    Also a good name for an indie prog metal band

    MaggiWuerze ,

    Where are you from? Chernobyl?

    Freeman ,

    Switzerland, why?

    MaggiWuerze ,

    because you never know if it will be alice alive after birth.

    I know the risk exists here as well, but “you never know” sounds like something someone from rural Africa would say, not Switzerland.

    Freeman ,

    Maybe its an old tradition. But I was shocked by how deadly being pregnant and giving birth (to the mother and the child even moreso) is, still to this day. I thought we solved childbirth or something.

    MaggiWuerze ,

    Yeah, the female physique hasn’t really adapted to our enormous head size. We solved child mortality more or less, but pregnancy and birth is still quite dangerous.

    justhach ,
    @justhach@lemmy.world avatar

    Skibblezz DeWicket

    ryan ,

    Bob, short for Bobert. So that every time he has to say his full name to anyone on the phone or fill out forms somewhere, he has to repeatedly explain that, no, it's not Robert, it's Bobert.

    KISSmyOS ,

    Best one so far

    Sweetpeaches69 ,

    Extra points if you tell him it’s because of Lauren Boebert, the classiest woman to walk this earth.

    /s

    bradorsomething ,

    Ted, get off of Lemmy.

    burgersc12 ,

    Ngl i have considered calling every Rob/Bob i know Bobert, but i like this idea better

    root_beer ,

    I knew someone who did that to me in high school. I hated him, for many reasons, mind, but that was one. I hated him enough to be almost glad his wife died. Not that I am, and nothing against her, just… fuck him.

    I’ve been called Bert by one guy, and sometimes I wonder if I should have run with that. Another guy would call me Rootbeer. I was totally fine with that, as you can see.

    BananaPeal ,
    @BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Tombert.

    TheBananaKing ,

    You monster.

    Jinn ,

    Robert with a B

    cheese_greater ,

    Cthulu

    FlyForABeeGuy OP ,

    Lord of the underpants!

    KISSmyOS ,

    “Baby Boy”

    d3Xt3r ,

    🎶 We named him ‘Baby’, he had a toothache
    He started crying, it sounded like an earthquake
    It didn’t last long, because I stopped it
    I grabbed a rag doll and stuck some little pins in it 🎶

    thorbot ,

    Chodebert

    guyrocket ,
    @guyrocket@kbin.social avatar

    Dilbert.

    AFallingAnvil ,
    @AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca avatar

    Pubert

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