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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it?

Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It’s not that I get mad and take it out on others, it’s just the fact that I’m constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I’ll get pissed that I didn’t wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I’m cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, “well that sucks” and just get over it.

Sentenial ,

Could try studying stochastic philosophy. I’ve always generally been calm but had an extra realization that getting upset at things doesn’t help the situation I’m in and is generally just a waste of energy. So why waste time feeling terrible when I can just accept whatever is going on and move on with my life.

fjordbasa ,

I have noticed my ability to take things in stride definitely goes down when I don’t feel well. I would check in with yourself physically- is there a non-obvious physical ailment that might be putting you on edge? Perhaps there’s pain or headaches that you don’t consciously consider that’s diminishing your ability to deal with stuff. Otherwise I would suggest what others have suggested- looking into whether you might have some level of anxiety disorder. This may mean medication and/or something like cognitive behavioral therapy

IHadTwoCows ,

When I was in AA I learned the maxim “I can be right or I can be well” and it neutralized about 80% of the people and things that pissed me off. Another 15% has been reduced to a nuisance that I say “fuck off!” to, and the remaining 5% are inanimate objects which I respond to rather violently.

leaky_shower_thought ,

hmmm…

I think it helps if you play a lot of “immersive” games. and practice disengaging from there.

For example, if you now don’t get mad and throw controllers breaking screens, you’re now half-way to the real task at hand!

474D ,

Imagine you’re being recorded and you have to watch it back later. Sometimes it’s easier to see ourselves from others perspective than our own. Patience is a skill, you have to use it to get good at it

NENathaniel ,
@NENathaniel@lemmy.ca avatar

I went on anxiety meds. Changed my life

CosmicTurtle ,

Op, you may want to take this advice. You might have some level of anxiety that’s causing you to react to things in a way that’s unhealthy.

Some level of annoyance is to be expected from life but if you’re bothered by it, and it seems like you are, look into therapy. It will help you understand where your reactions are coming from and help you deal with it better.

cashews_best_nut ,

Yes OP. Boof Xanax. Snort heroin. Zen.

bartolomeo ,
@bartolomeo@suppo.fi avatar

What’s boof? Is that when you stick it up your butt?

cashews_best_nut ,

Yep. 👍

Katrisia ,

Yes. In my case, my mood disorder was causing irritability. Many disorders can cause it (e.g., MDD, BPD, IED).

OP, I’d suggest an appointment with a specialist if everything else has been ruled out; everything else includes bad sleep habits, bad eating habits, physical illnesses, etc.

jeena ,
@jeena@jemmy.jeena.net avatar

In the end nothing really matters, the universe will suffer a heat death and we’re just here for a extremely short ride.

Lophostemon ,

I started drinking lots of alcohol. It didn’t really help in the long run.

It’s like liquid therapy.

Then you lose your family and job.

It’s great!

Delphia ,

Im exactly like you only I’ve learned to recognise and stomp on the reaction.

I still get needlessly pissed about things, to an unreasonable degree. But then I recognise that my reaction is out of proportion to the problem and that wether I stomp on it or not, I’m still going to have the problem the only thing I have control over is if I’m stomping around like an asshole while I fix it.

You just have to take your Ego and set it aside when you catch yourself, you cant defend the reaction because its irrational. So recognise it, stomp on it and then work the problem like a normal person.

MissJinx ,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

Medication. That’s my secret

ook_the_librarian ,
@ook_the_librarian@lemmy.world avatar

Honesty, I can easily picture times where dogs tracking through the house would set off a hair-trigger. But, other times I see the mess and think about how I love dogs. How their “culture” simply doesn’t care about muddy floors. My dog wants to play whether it’s appropriate or not and I can respect that. So, I’m saying, sometimes I can laugh it off.

Framing a big picture (of happy thoughts) is a strategy that has worked for me.

I also smoke a lot of pot.

Slowy ,
@Slowy@lemmy.world avatar

Are you very low on time? I see this happen to people who feel they just don’t have enough time to get everything done that they need to, and therefore any little delay causes a lot of stress. If you can offload some chores or reduce your activity load that may be some help. But there are other reasons for irritability as well.

Cornelius_Wangenheim ,

Ask yourself if getting mad actually helps the situation. Is it going to get the problem solved any quicker? Does it make you feel any better? No? Then what’s the point of it?

Croquette ,

My problem is that it is primal for me. I get the thought, but in the moment, the reptilian brain takes over and I get mad, even though it lasts a few seconds.

Trying to catch myself when it happens, but it’s pretty fucking hard.

toxicbubble420 ,

weed

guyrocket ,
@guyrocket@kbin.social avatar

Shit happens. Often. Choose to not let it control you and your mood.

Being stressed and / or tired usually makes my reactions worse. Get rest, lessen stress, and use stress coping techniques.

You can control your reactions. You cannot control the shit that happens.

Serenity now...laugh at life and yourself. It is not really that bad. You knew that, right?

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