Lemmy has been nice. This is a more positive place than reddit was for me. I had some great interactions on reddit, but I took many breaks from trolls, bad mods, and negativity. I needed this place, and what AI has been for me this last year. The anniversary of 10 years of social isolation from physical disability has been rough especially seeing the cracks in my fragile support network forming. This place has been a helpful outlet.
Resistance is like shocks on a car… push hard to compress and it compresses faster. push less hard (voltage) and it doesn’t move as fast (current). Pull it (negative voltage) and it expands (current flowing the other way). Resistors resist (voltage against) flow (current).
Capacitors you sorta seem to get: current flowing in one direction through a capacitor builds up voltage the remains after the current stops… like the force in a spring builds up as it compresses and when the motion stops the force is still there.
What you seem to confuse with resistance is inductance, where the force (voltage) on an air hockey puck makes it speed up (current flow), and when the force stops pushing it it just keeps moving (current keeps flowing).
The general term for these voltage-current relationships is impedance, because in the general case where voltage or current is oscillating or rapidly switching on and off you get some effects that resemble resistance (voltage pushing back on current or vice versa).
Final concept is that any time you have something trying to force specific levels of current or voltage on a pin, the “setter” (whatever is doing the forcing, typically referred to as the “source”) has impedance and so does the “getter” (whatever is being forced, referred to as the “load”). If you have a fishing rod and you want the tip to move slowly, you can easily move it where you want it to go, but if you want to shake it fast it won’t move as far (the weight of the tip is like inductance resisting the motion with force/voltage).
So, a microchip pin might have high resistance to ground but also high capacitance to ground… and a quick pulse of voltage will immediately cause current to flow into the empty capacitor, and if the capacitance is big enough the voltage won’t change much, or will require more time to change. High capacitance has low impedance… it sucks up any available current as the desired change in voltage happens. interestingly, there are two options for making the pin voltage change faster… increase the current level being used by the source (by reducing impedance within the source so it can get out to the pin easier), or reducing the amount of current required to change the pin voltage by raising the impedance to ground inside the chip package (that is, reducing the capacitance inside the chip package).
When the source impedance is very very large, that is like having the signal generator probe laying on the bench instead of connected to the pin. When the source impedance is large and the internal pin impedance is large, then any stray electric or magnetic fields can push the pin voltage around easily. This is what they call floating… and if the microchip is reacting to those erratic voltage signals then the circuit as a whole will behave erratically as it tries to react to noisy input.
An output pin usually (but not always) has a lower source impedance than a tri-state input in its high impedance state. If you connect it to a floating input then the input stops floating and follows whatever the source is forcing it to.
An input pin usually has an input impedance similar to the source impedance of sources connected to it… this generally allows the input to be controlled most quickly. Inputs whose voltage doesn’t change quickly tend to be less useful than ones the do change quickly bandwidth and clock speeds can be faster.
If you try to connect microchips built with different technologies together (e.g. CMOS vs TTL) then they may not communicate quickly or with minimal wasted power because they have different typical impedances (and voltage levels).
Must’ve been around 13-15, went to a pizza hut with my then girlfriend. I saw a darker skinner, heavy-set lady walking over to the counter with her two kids, all of them looking a little dishevelled. Without thinking I said “She looks poor” in probably a demeaning manner to my girlfriend, and she answered “you say that like it’s her fault”.
I’m dumb as fuck so the penny didn’t drop until several years later about the reality of my privilege, and how unfair and fucked up the system really is. Nearly ended up alt-right, now I’m a comrade.
Gunna sneak in here, because I clearly don't know when to quit - and say the funniest thing is that up until like...now - where middle class folks are seemingly just as heavy as impoverished folks - I think the reason why so many poor folk were always so heavy is because you literally never get real food. All of it's some processed super high-salt slop that you can't really run off of. And when you're hungry - you don't really run well. And it feels like you're really eating food, but you sure as hell never are. Outside of like...holidays maybe. But even then - it's a lot of canned shit. It's why I am a huge proponent of the "immigrant/fob" diet. Of like - eating simple homecooked meals. Like rice and beans all the way, add a veggie and you're clutch - and an apple for desert? Choice! But yeah, everyone I grew up around was fatter than shit. And it's cause not a soul ever was eating food. And the produce we could get could fit in a deli shelf. And I think about it so often, like - how the fuck does America get away throwing away so much actual food (worked at grocery stores before and we trash a shitton of food) - but we can't be bothered to give real food to a large percentage of our population? It's fucking naners. I bet you this event meant nothing at the time, but floated up like cream when you needed it - and it's funny how stuff works like that retroactively teaching you lessons. Hahahaha! You got this king of kings!
Is this South Park (was this South Park!?) - or is this legit. Because 9/11 really did change everything. Between that and the shooters shortly after I was out. But tbh, Islamophobia raised through the roof at that time and I am not sure it ever went back down. We also lost any sense of security, seemingly for the rest of our lives. But I also think cheap consumer electronics really changed things on the whole. As I do not see anyone outside of the occasional "outdoorsperson" living particularly healthy lives. Even when they're living healthy lifestyles. Perhaps on account of some combination of higher population, but lesser third-spaces too. Eh!
I spontaneously decided to get an unusual body mod in 2017. Seven years later, absolutely zero regrets. It’s one of the things that eventually pushed me into becoming a sideshow performer and I’ve met so many wonderful people and am surrounded by a community of weirdos and freaks that I call family.
Please get rid of it. I’ll figure my own truth from facts I descern are true. I don’t need someone else telling me what to believe. Especially with the election coming up…
Good question, it really got me thinking. And I was trying to come up with something not related to being trans… but…
Quite frankly: hormone replacement therapy. I’ve been on and off a few times, and the results were clear and reliable.
Now, as my brothers, sisters, and brothersisters know, it doesn’t magically solve all your problems. But it comes pretty damn close!
Let me try to explain the feeling. You know when you’re down and you try to rely on a good friend, but suddenly they’re not there? You shift your balance to lean on them, but suddenly there’s just air and you fall over?
It was like that for me nearly every single day before hrt, but instead of with a friend, it was with myself. I am talking psychologically something was just missing. And trust me when I say I have tried a ton of medicine over the years, and none of it worked or just made things even worse.
And now, it’s totally different. It’s like having this psychological membrane that always pushes back up, no matter what shit I am trying to pull. Imagine being on a trampoline. You can make mistakes and the membrane will simply bounce back and push you back up. In other words I can eat crap, sleep badly, isolate myself, ignore my responsibilities, fall into a depressive hole for a day, and yet something in me just automatically pushes me back up. It’s solid and reliable. I haven’t had a single day without it and it isn’t variable. It keeps surprising me over and over.
The funny part is that I am quite transphobic and self aware of that. I suppose we are all taught this attitude growing up in western culture. So whenever someone insults me, I totally get it, albeit that I find it rather unrefined behavior of them. I’m from a rural area in the bible belt, so I’m quite familiar with the white trash mindset. If they just wouldn’t bike away all the time I’d be able to strike up a good talk with them. Simple truth is that I can’t alter the facts and I have a male shaped skeleton.
Honestly, I think a lot of women worldwide would be glad to make some sacrifices to be able to live in my body. Sure, it has some downsides, for example I’ll live shorter. But it provides me with safety, which is a major concern for women. I can walk around at night in the park just fine.
Well, that’s just my personal experience. It’s different for everyone.
I appreciate reading this as we don’t get to hear everything our son is going through. He does try to explain, but others perspectives are very helpful. Please keep sharing.
When it comes to parenting all I can say is that there is no way you won’t screw up. What really matters is to have these moments of genuine unconditional love, and they’ll take that with them into the world.
I’d recommend giving the series Pose by FX a try. It’s the only media I have ever watched that managed to express what gender dysphoria is like to people who don’t experience it.
Feel free to ask questions. If it is more comfortable to you, I am also available for pm on matrix.
I spoke with a lovely individual who's young son came out as trans only recently. And she said she was going through this whole mourning phase because of it. And while I am not a parent, and have not lived this experience I think it'd probably be pretty important to connect with other parents of trans individuals. Especially if your child is younger (as in, not an adult but a dependent). Because there's many levels of support you can offer depending on what you guys feel comfortable doing and what local laws look like. But also I think it's important to connect with others who can help you guys navigate through this as peers. Because they can help you in a way that no book, online article, or even your own loved ones can. Because they've been there, and are doing that. I'm not sure what you have locally, but I bet you there's support groups online if you cannot find one locally. The only other thing I could say in this department is it's important to not only love your kid but also advocate for them. Because a lot of trans living can be mental gymnastics. And it can deplete an individual raw, and unfortunately there is a higher rate of suicide with trans-youth as compared to their counterparts. And I'm not saying this is always the case, but it is something to be aware of. As for queer news, if you're interested in poking around - there's Them "Magazine" - which is really good about covering all spectrums of queer life including transpeople. Either way, way to be supportive. On the low-low and this is just some crunchy opinion stuff (sorry ladies ;_:!) it seems a lot easier for transmen to transition than transwomen. Which I think is mainly due to testosterone poisoning and women being held to higher standards of beauty societally. Not that any of it's a cakewalk, but I have seen things be easier long-term for the transmen in my life. They just kinda "dude up" get top-surgery and live queer lives.
To be honest, after working in a home - living longer doesn't seem all that great big picture. But also, thank you madam! I have been told a handful of times by friends and exes that it's much akin to finding that thing you're always missing. That's generally how I address it when people ask me on the subject. Although that's rarer and rare, the way things are nowadays. And it's funny, because there's a huge push for doing your own research. And I too believe in it, because you can get really screwed over trusting something at face value in a world where you're classified as a "consumer." But that's a different subject. I just wanted to say that I think it's really nice and poignant to be able to talk over things too. And be able to share experiences and help others through learned knowledge.
Transphobia is easy, because there's this disgusting knowledge that you can unlock at the click of a button seeing people being pig faced fuckers about transpeople as a whole. I was once flopping around in bed, curled up with my lappy and watching Soft White Underbelly. There was a transwoman who came out on there and it was the first time she ever went in public while being female presenting. And the slew of comments smashing this woman to pieces was not only horrifying but also disheartening. There were a couple of people in support, but the comments were just trash. And we live in a relatively accepting place (as compared to most I've been) - my partner and I. But we still get it from both sides. Dykes - who wanna do creepy "dyke offs" to see who can be the biggest fag on the block. Which btw is not my game, let alone my favorite. Or slurs galore being shouted. Especially when we go more towards Trump Country. Not my favorite either. And it's always that chicken shit shout-running stuff like you're talking about. But then again you can't reason with someone like that. There's something intrinsically broken within them that they need to fix (hopefully) somewhere down the line.
But either way, I am glad you're keeping up with your hormones. It's absolutely awful when you run out, because your body does the wobbles (as far as I heard) which can cause some truly awful side effects (panic attacks being one, depression being another). Yawn, I am getting too sleepy to think anymore. Gals already asleep and I'm meandering on da lappy. Either way I wanted to say glad you got to be yourself (cause I swear most transfolks find themselves hellllaaaa young but stuff that shit deep). And testosterone poisoning is awful (not that testosterone itself is - just when applied to transwomen against their internal will). But ultimately I hope you keep cultivating love for the body you're in. Not in the same place, but most def a poc. Growing up all I saw were skinny blonde white women being "desirable" in the media. I come to about nipple height most folks, and the curves came free of charge =P! Now I'm all grown up and love myself but growing up it was hard not to think there was something intrinsically wrong with my body because I could never look like aforementioned skinny blonde white woman (I'm talking rail thin and tall).
Speaking of which, on the plus side there's whole generations of individuals who will want to fuck you just based off your build if you're rail thin and tall. On the negative side, there's a lot of fetishism. But eh - this is all just a bunch of wordy soup by this point. Oh - one last thing. I do kindaaaaaaa get transphobic idealism in one sense. Gender is a social construct, but when I was younger I sure as fuck saw a lot of queers "sober up" into LUGS and what not. I'm not sure if this new gender revolution is actually going to stick - or be here to stay. But I will say that a lot of enbies I think have fucked up the bigger picture/message when it comes to mtf/ftms. They kinda watered down the issue, and made it seem less dire than the support needed really is. So I guess in that sense I am abso-freakin'-lutely transphobic myself. But idk. It's something I've kicked around in my brain-bin trying to figure out. But it's in the same way that I think the queer movement as a whole has sort of been offscounded with. But then again the Daughts of Bilitis believed strongly in the model minority idealism, that our only way to become normalized was to be normal. Not radicalize. Not make waves. And I am not really sure which half of our movements stuck, but I do know that the model minority myth is a bullshit one.
Okay, this absolutely was a bunch of goop. Gunna zzzp. Ty for posting and go in peace m'lovely!
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