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Ludrol ,
@Ludrol@szmer.info avatar

I think therapy is good path to follow.

If you don’t want to spend money you could try DIY it but if someone will show you how to use tools for introspective like journaling and emotional averness it will be much easier to start.

You wrote in other comment that:

I want to be busy.

Maybe you should do the opposite. Be bored and see what your mind will do with boredom. Try to do it for a decent about of time like an hour. Maybe you will discover something surprising about yourself.

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