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fishidwardrobe

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Monsters from the Id! Fish from the Wardrobe! Or something.

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filmfreak75 , to actuallyautistic
@filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic anyone else tired of always having to be the better person at work?

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic YES. Tired of being the smartest person in the room -- I'm not that smart!

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic Any abuse at all at work is just damn wrong. Sorry the place you work doesn't get that, that's horrible.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Just found out that NT people have REAL habits that happen basically on autopilot. This is news to me.

What most NT people think of as a "habit" I think of as a "task," even if it is a part of my routine. For example, brushing and flossing my teeth is a part of my daily routine, but I have to make myself think about each action separately. I wouldn't call them habits because I literally remind myself to do them every night. It isn't automatic.

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic Same here, although very occasionally I find I've picked up a useful habit by accident.

In fifty-plus years I've never been able to do it deliberately. Normally they stop just as mysteriously as they start.

filmfreak75 , to actuallyautistic
@filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic what are everyone’s thoughts on signing cards (birthday, etc.) at work, where you do not really know the person, but there is an implied expectation that you do so

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic Write your name small "to leave room for others". You don't have to put a message. Make it illegible if it bothers you.
Most likely the recipient will get a kick out of all those names.

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic that does seem rather crappy

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic yes. But if it takes a second and it makes you look like you fit in, that's cheap. You often don't even have to interact with anyone!

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic I find that very little about work -- or at least the social aspect of work -- is anything close to sincere.

I look at the signing thing as camouflage. I do the team lottery, too, and the sweepstake at Grand National time.

I draw the line at Secret Santa. ::shudder::

chevalier26 , to random
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Anyone ever tell you that you were being "too negative" or a "Debby downer" when stating facts about something? Just happened to me earlier with my family. In this case it was reasons why I prefer not to travel often (routine change haha). The whole time I was thinking, "but I'm not trying to be negative..."

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic For many allistic people "you're being negative" means "I don't like this".

They don't like it, so it must be negative.

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic it takes two sides to make a miscommunication.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?

For clarity, I’m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently don’t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research I’ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.

I don’t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying I’m “self-suspecting.” @actuallyautistic

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic A diagnosis is useful -- mostly for dealing with the rest of the medical system, or sometimes work/education. But it doesn't really mean much else.

I'm starting to think like this: it doesn't matter if I (or anyone else) "is" autistic. What traits and behaviours do I (they) have which can be explained as autistic traits or behaviours? And does that help me understand better?

And a diagnosis isn't going to give you that.

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic To clarify: you can be not-autistic and do things which I can understand better as an autistic trait. ADHD folks infodump too. Traumatisted folks can shut down in over-stimulating environments.

Then again, as an autist I don't do everything that autistic folks do. I'm fairly good with nuance; I have shutdowns, not meltdowns; etc.

"Autistic" may sometimes be too broad a term to be useful to you.

LALegault , to random
@LALegault@newsie.social avatar

Okay, which enthusiast can explain to me (at length even!) how the American aid pier floated away? I am fascinated.

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@LALegault @gaveen @actuallyautistic No. AND on the hashtag they created to specifically avoid posts like yours? Super no.

theaardvark , to actuallyadhd
@theaardvark@mastodon.me.uk avatar


How does everyone know how, when and how much they're masking?
As a late-diagnosed , I struggle to differentiate between "me but masking" and "me but in a diff situation".
Now that I know I'm autistic, I even miss the person I used to be in some situations before I knew.
I used to call myself a "social chameleon" - I just changed automatically to suit the circumstances.
But who actually am I and what is just a mask?
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@theaardvark @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd There are almost certainly times when you're not masking. They may not be often, but almost any little chink in the armour will tell you something. For me the starting point was -- I don't mask when talking to my cats! Once I recognised that voice I could start writing notes to myself without masking.

To complicate things: everyone switches between different aspects of theirself to suit their surroundings. That's not really masking.

dyani , to actuallyautistic
@dyani@social.coop avatar

Hmm is this an ND thing?

Ever since I can remember, I have strongly disliked pranks and have been against humor at the expense of someone else (making fun of them).

I know nice NT people also feel this way but I've felt this strongly since a very young age. Anyone else?

@actuallyautistic

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@dyani @actuallyautistic yes yes yes

KitOz , to actuallyautistic
@KitOz@c.im avatar

I was noticing that my cat and I seem to share some behaviors, which made me wonder if cats aren't a little bit autistic. Or maybe I'm a little bit cat?

Which gave me the idea to come up with a facetious self-assessment quiz: Are you autistic, or are you a house cat?

Take the quiz to find out!

@actuallyautistic

https://kitozbooks.com/2024/04/autistic-or-a-house-cat/

fishidwardrobe ,
@fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de avatar

@KitOz @actuallyautistic Cats and autism: we have thought the exact same thing here.

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