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@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca cover
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

axnxcamr

@[email protected]

"Ceux qui pensent que l'intelligence a quelque noblesse n'en ont certainement pas assez pour se rendre compte que ce n'est qu'une malédiction." - Martin Page

Consultant en TI.

Self-dx AuDHD, sans "H".

Fr/En, souvent both. 😏

Anxious about climate change. Anxious about human rights. Anxious about politics. Anxious.

Puits sans fonds de connaissances inutiles.

"Papa sait tout... mais rien de vraiment utile" - un de mes enfants

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

pinkpenguin , to actuallyautistic
@pinkpenguin@sakurajima.moe avatar

@actuallyautistic

does anybody know a polite and societally acceptable way to phrase

"dear colleagues,
i would love to spend my lunch break with you, but if i do so my brain has to spend 30-50 minutes being a) completely overwhelmed by the amount of social context and b) severely depressed about its inability to participate in any form of group conversation.
if i am lucky this means a whole workday without a proper break, when unlucky this gets me an extra little mini meltdown in the afternoon which then renders me unable to work for several hours / the rest of the day.
love, pinkie"

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@EverydayMoggie

100% agreed to that, although some people do think they are entitled to an explanation so you end up having to explain why you don't have to explain why you need alone time... 😮‍💨

@pinkpenguin @actuallyautistic

BenjaminFaliere , to random
@BenjaminFaliere@hostux.social avatar

Does anybody have some content related to symptoms evolution after or reveal?
Not for a friend ;)

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@BenjaminFaliere

@actuallyautistic (possibly @dramypsyd)

Hello people!

Anyone has anything, papers or articles about heightened AuDHD traits after dx? I say "heightened" but could be changes, evolution, etc.

Thanks a lot!

PurpleStephyr , to actuallyautistic
@PurpleStephyr@chaosfem.tw avatar

Any recommendations for in-ear ANC headphones? I want to get my ears pierced, but my current headphones sit on my earlobe, which I imagine would be quite uncomfortable while they're healing.

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PurpleStephyr

Pretty happy with my JLab Epic Air Sport ANC. They have over the ear hooks so they don't rest on the ear lobe at all. The ANC isn't stellar, but those are under 100$CAD so I didn't expect it to be perfect.

They need an app to control the ANC level (Android, probably iOS too) but when set to your liking, it can just be toggled with touch controls.

They work in Windows, haven't tried Linux or Mac.

The humongous charging case might turn you off though.

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PurpleStephyr

Sorry, didn't have enough characters left for a link...

https://www.jlab.com/products/epic-air-sport-anc-true-wireless-earbuds

@actuallyautistic

poloniousmonk , to actuallyautistic
@poloniousmonk@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

I've got a theory on NTs. They are total narcissists, in that tgey only can care about their own emotional state. To a NT, the problem of the coming omnicide isn't a problem because of the death and destruction already in the mail. It's a problem because it's hard to block out awareness of that, and that messes up their current emotional state, interfering with their ability to live life the way they want. 1/

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@poloniousmonk @actuallyautistic

I have a theory on overgeneralization: it's useless, misleading and usually just plain false, and apart from antagonizing people, it doesn't achieve anything.

After that, we tell them "when you've met one autist, you've met only one autist, we're all different".

ScottSoCal , to actuallyautistic
@ScottSoCal@computerfairi.es avatar

@actuallyautistic

Wondering if this is an autism thing, or a me thing:

When they cast an actor in a movie, in a speaking part, but then have someone else sing and the actor just lipsyncs it. It's jarring, it throws me out of the movie and all I can think is "that's not his/her voice, how am I supposed to go along with this?"
We're watching a musical. And an actor is lipsyncing to someone else singing.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@ScottSoCal

Non-english speakers who have watched post-synched american movies all their youth, are probably less sensitive to it than english speakers.

We are used to people changing voices and lips not quite fitting the words spoken/sung.

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

If you're on the Left and your worldview AND praxis don't involve the liberation of disabled people, you aren't on the Left.

You're performative.

Gross.

@actuallyautistic @communism

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@theautisticcoach

I'm not sure that after being called stupid, @CStamp will be eager to listen...

@actuallyautistic @communism

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@quietmarc

I think you read the both of us wrong, Marc. Or maybe we expressed ourselves badly, English not being our first language.

I objected to someone asking what seemed like an honest question being called stupid, that's all.

I object to name calling. Been subjected to it enough as a kid to not stand it as an adult.

The actuallyautistic group should be a safe space but it doesn't always feel like it.

@Dremmwel @theautisticcoach @CStamp @actuallyautistic @communism

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@quietmarc

"Asinine comments like this are exactly the issue."

Being gaslight is kind of next on my list of things I can't stand, so if you don't mind, I'll step out of this conversation now.

@Dremmwel @theautisticcoach @CStamp @actuallyautistic @communism

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@theautisticcoach

Probably my bad English then. "Asinine" means "stupid" to me. Glad to hear it wasn't meant that way.

@CStamp @actuallyautistic @communism

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@ItsTrainingCatsAndDogs

I need my wife to know of my abilities and limitations as Autistic and ADD.

I need my boss and coworkers to know if my abilities and limitations as Autistic and ADD.

Somehow, I don't think saying "I'm Autistic, govern yourself accordingly" will help a lot there.

You can't expect someone to know what you refuse to teach.

At keast, point them in the right direction.

@theautisticcoach @quietmarc @Dremmwel @CStamp @actuallyautistic @communism

eo , to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic

what are some of the most common, or most bothersome, false assumptions people make about you?

Don't limit yourself to neurodiversity or any other topic.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@nddev @eo @actuallyautistic

A+ reply, would boost again!

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@eo @actuallyautistic

Somehow, the honest answer which is for me "I have not finished deciding how I feel about it" does not please my allistic entourage...

Susan60 , to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Question. Some dogs can tell if a person has cancer, presumably by their smell. Does anyone think that some autistic people might be more sensitive to such changes in body chemistry? Not as much as a dog, but more than most other people? @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@sentient_water

I... uh... I fail to find a practical use for that, and that's... uh... rather awkward to show off, isn't it!

😉

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@sentient_water

Oh, no! Not at all! I'm a heavy coffee drinker, so I celebrate multiple times a day. 😂

I just had to fight back the mental image of someone showing an unflushed toilet to someone else: "Come, come! Take a good sniff! Can you smell it? No!? It smells like spironolactone, that's for my blood pressure."

I'm sorry. I sometimes have an overactive brain that likes to go places...

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic

spika , to actuallyautistic
@spika@neurodifferent.me avatar

If anybody was wondering why I fucking hate cars that have electronic keyfobs, it's because when the keyfob runs out of batteries or otherwise malfunctions, and the car doesn't start and your elderly mother calls you and wakes you out of a dead sleep to come get her and you have a very outwardly explosive meltdown the moment you get off the phone where you accidentally punch a desk at full force while flailing around for being asked to do something important while being half awake.

Only to be called two minutes later, "Oh, nevermind. Dad's works."

FML. Seriously.... Just FML.

I'm really mad at the inventor of the keyfob now. KEYS WORKED JUST FINE! WE DON'T NEED SMART EVERYTHING!

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@arisummerland @spika @actuallyautistic

Don't know if all cars are the same, but I found something on mine (Mazda) that might save your butt some day.

I have a defective key. Been like that since we bought the car, mostly.

There's a physical key inside the key fob that unlocks the driver's door. And if I press the start button using the logo on the key fob, the car starts even when it complains that there's no keys in the car.

HTH, although I 100% agree, we didn't need electronic keys.

Richard_Littler , to actuallyautistic
@Richard_Littler@mastodon.social avatar

Having one of those days when I wonder how different my life might have been had my & been diagnosed much (much) earlier...
It sometimes feels a bit like heaving myself breathless over a marathon finishing line long after others have completed it, only to find that I was shlepping an anvil behind me that could have so easily been offloaded, if only I'd known.
@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic

We had kind of the same discussion a while back, and my take on that is that the load is different, knowing vs not knowing, but it's still there.

Like, you can drop some weight because you notice it and it's not necessary to carry it, but some you notice and you have to keep, and some feels heavier when you notice that other people don't have to carry it.

So, all in all, I guess you gain some, you lose some, and life is still hard the same amount...

Profplum , to actuallyautistic
@Profplum@kinkyelephant.com avatar

@GTMLosAngeles @neurodiversity @autistic[email protected] @actuallyautistic “Time blindness” works for me, especially when I’m trying to explain to neurotypical people how I’m different. Most people understand what color blindness means, and that it’s not a character flaw that you can fix by just trying harder.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@Profplum

It is also well understood that colorblind people do not see in B&W and that the term allows for some individual variations, so the term "timeblind" should carry the same leniency.

@GTMLosAngeles @neurodiversity @autistic[email protected] @actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Many things that may seem trivial to others might not be so for an autistic person.

Going to the grocery store can be incredibly stressful navigating the many people, sounds, lights, smells and decisions. It can be overwhelming.

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@pussreboots

Oh yeah... this.

It should be quite simple though. Grocery stores are somewhat all built on the same model, with aisles identified with overhead signs. But somehow, my brain refuses to simply process this and instead goes "where is this thing, I can't read all the labels, how can I find it without reading the labels, I'll be forced to ask for help if I can't do it myself..."

😭

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@autism101

I was at a book show with my kids this morning. I love books, but book shows are a lot to process: a lot of people, a lot of noise, a lot of light, a lot of labels and signs that all compete for my attention... and a lot of people I know, but out of their usual context, takes a lot of brain cycles to find the names, how I know them, what to say...

I was drained when we left after no more than two hours. Ate something quick and took a nap for over an hour.

@actuallyautistic

independentpen , to actuallyautistic
@independentpen@mas.to avatar

People keep sitting down right next to me when there's plenty of other space. Are small space bubbles an NT thing? @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@independentpen

I'm going to guess wildly here, but are men doing this more frequently then women?

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@independentpen

Whenever I'm chill, sitting on the couch, my daughter will come sit next to me. But being a squirming mass of 11yo energy, there's always a part of her that's moving. She apparently doesn't do it consciously because if I tell her to be still, she invariably answers that she is.

So I inch a little to the side, so that we are not touching, barely, but when she realizes, she's like "Hey! 😡" and closes the gap.

As she's probably NT, it may be a need they have.

@actuallyautistic

ScriptFanix , to actuallyautistic
@ScriptFanix@maly.io avatar

When they speak about the Israel Vs Palestine conflict in the news, I just zone out. My brain just refuses to process that information. Do my fellow @actuallyautistic friends do the same?

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@sal

Some people can also be overwhelmed by the cruelty, the pain, the suffering, the loss... those images can bring back traumas, etc.

We have to understand and accept that also.

But I agree with you, those of us who can must denounce and oppose what is happening in Gaza.

@actuallyautistic @ScriptFanix

PossiblyAutistic , to actuallyautistic

Let's try the AQ, at https://embrace-autism.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/#test

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

You do know that analysing the statements like you do and questioning their meaning like that is very autistic, right? 😉

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

I mean nothing more than what I wrote, don't infer any other meaning.

I may have missed the start of this, but it looked like you were passing tests to see if you could be ppssibly autistic, as your handle claims. I was merely stating that your behavior looked autistic to me.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

Oh, I see.

I quit speculating about how allistics think about a year ago, when I finally found out I had been doing it wrong for over 40 years! 😂

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@roryreckons @PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

The second test is when you score high and doubt the results! 😂

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @roryreckons @actuallyautistic

As with most things in life, this is probably more a journey than a destination, where each answer raises more questions.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@nddev

I was totally expecting a "what's the age of my oldest daughter" question after that! 🤣

@hlangeveld @Adventurer @PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@independentpen

Me too. I was told that the way I was analyzing and questioning the possibility I was autistic was, in fact, an autistic trait.

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@independentpen

🤣🤣🤣

@roryreckons @PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar
  • Autistic traits are just human traits.
  • All traits lie on a spectrum
  • Every autistic person is different

Think of the spectrum as an audio mixer with sliders set to different levels. Autistic people may have sliders all the way on or off.

image: u/MelodyForetells

@actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@Slipp

I personally don't like analogies because they usually fall short on many levels. Remember that analogies are a way to simplify a concept and not give a complete or even accurate description of that concept.

But, given the audio mixer analogy, where humans in general would have slight variations of most of those traits and high variation on one or very few, autistic people might have high variation over multiple traits.

There lies the distinction.

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

It's a tough truth to face up to, but not every Autstic/neurodivergent person is a good person. Many of us find out the hard way that there are members of our own community who will do harm to us collectively and individually.

It's important that we acknowledge the truth that we can always do better as a community. We don't have to be perfect. We just have to do a little better each day.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@CatHat

Don't you find it demoralizingly ironic that the first person answering a post about bad people harming the community would be one of the worst of them?

I think one of the most harmful things you can do to the community is actually use that kind of blanket statement, demonizing people you do not know.

That's a whole new kind of prejudice...

Thanks for the intervention, CatHat!

@nesi @DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

f1337 , to actuallyautistic
@f1337@hachyderm.io avatar

@actuallyautistic @allautistics
I feel vulnerable and anxious to even share this, but it’s nagging at me so here goes…

Topic: The ND tendency to share a similar experience.

It was ~15 years ago. I was having a beer with an old friend, sharing the story of the stillbirth of my second child. His response to the news was “I guess that’s a lot like divorce,” and proceeded to tell me how he imagined his divorce was similar.

1/n

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@f1337

We've been through something similar, my wife and I, ages ago. People do say the craziest shit... NT and ND alike.

Even when you think you know how the other person feels, because the situations look similar, you can still hurt them, unknowingly, because you never know the person's entire story.

@actuallyautistic @allautistics

Autistrain , to actuallyautistic
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

I'm happy these days while reading random things about autism. I'm seeing more and more of the use of neuro/identity affirmative language out there. It feels good to see a ramping tendency towards the use of this language.

The word neurotype is becoming more mainstream. I read it across articles. I read that the human brain has variations more frequently. This is in my point of view great. This is a small step in recognizing the human differences known and unknown. It's how we will build a better word of integration.

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@Tay_loup

Tellement! C'est quasi-impossible de trouver de la littérature actuelle (moins de 10 ans) sur ces sujets en français.

Quand je mentionne dans un conversation des concepts qui n'ont pas encore été discutés et traduits en français, je passe pour un extra-terrestre. 😔

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

cynaq , to actuallyautistic
@cynaq@c.im avatar

Hmmm...

What does my and friends think about this post:

https://mstdn.social/@knittingknots2/111190622728130046

and this is the article:
https://www.sciencealert.com/common-plastic-additive-linked-to-autism-and-adhd-scientists-discover

I'm kinda hmmmm about it if you know what I mean.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@cynaq

This article is so clickbaity, it hurts.

First the title: "Common Plastic Additive Linked to Autism And ADHD, Scientists Discover". The title clearly hint at causality, while this is not what the study was about.

Then, about the rise of Au and ADHD diagnosis "...a new study points to the common plastic additive bisphenol A (BPA) as a potential reason why." "Potential" is not "proven".

1/2

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@cynaq

And the nail in the coffin: "Work is continuing to identify how exactly ASD and ADHD take hold in the body – whether it's in utero before birth for example, or later on in life – as the data isn't enough to show whether BPA exposure causes either disorder."

So the link they discovered is that we seem to eliminate BPA less efficiently than NTs. That's the study.

2/2

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@cynaq @nohecate

We're about to see articles like "This [your city] woman cured her autism with this weird trick. Doctors are mad at her."

I'm just this close to giving up on humans...

@MisuseCase @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@nohecate @cynaq

Back off, temptress!

🤣

@MisuseCase @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

housepanther , to actuallyautistic
@housepanther@masto.goblackcat.net avatar

@axnxcamr @independentpen @wakame @26pglt @silverhuang @actuallyautistic I am about to go back to an old place of employment I should never have left because they take care of the human first. It is also an IT shop. 😸

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@housepanther

My kids are often wowed by the way our company treats us. I remind them that this is worth actual money and has to be considered.

It's useless to go for a more paying job if the difference only covers the price of the therapy that's needed for working there!

@independentpen @wakame @26pglt @silverhuang @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr , to random
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

Oh

My

GOD!!!

Just received my Loop Earplugs!!!

Can't wait to try them at the office. If they are as incredible there as they are here with just my wife and kids, it might make me waver in my belief that there is no God.

axnxcamr OP ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

Forgot to tag @actuallyautistic, but this was for you as I heard about the Loops from you guys.

Thanks a lot!

Vincarsi , to actuallyautistic
@Vincarsi@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic @allautistics
I keep seeing people complaining about how Mastodon is full of "splainy reply guys" and I think there's a misperception of going on. I think there's more of us on here and we're more comfortable being ourselves. What will it take to get the allistics to understand that our contributions are offered in a mature "yes, and" spirit as opposed to the juvenile "well, actually" they seem to always read it as.
We're genuinely smart, not stuck up.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@pathfinder

Well actually, you beat me to it by about 15m!

@Vincarsi @actuallyautistic @allautistics

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@pathfinder

In my defence, I am currently working 🤣

@Vincarsi @actuallyautistic @allautistics

hosford42 , to actuallyautistic
@hosford42@techhub.social avatar

I'm . The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.


@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@markusl

I consider myself autistic... and I have the same... mutation, to use your word 😀

Watch this! 🤣

@hosford42 @Tooden @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

Close up of a hand with pulse apparent in the crook between index and thumb.

morothar , to actuallyautistic
@morothar@troet.cafe avatar

@axnxcamr @pathfinder @Moondancer @actuallyautistic
I know that it probably would have not been great for me if I got diagnosed in the early 90s (in Germany). But nonetheless I feel a sort of loss and I morn for the 4 decades I never stopped trying to live by and meet neurotypical standards and expectations.

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@morothar

I think ultimately that all we would've wanted is being diagnosed, but in secret.

Like someone whispering "you are autistic" to our younger, incredulous self...

@pathfinder @Moondancer @actuallyautistic

Private
axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@ratcatcher

Yeah... that too.

@pathfinder @Moondancer @actuallyautistic

axnxcamr ,
@axnxcamr@mstdn.ca avatar

@willaful

I would say being diagnosed early today is probably a good thing.

The farther you go in the past, the worse it gets.

And as I said, depends a lot on where you are and who supports you.

@pathfinder @Moondancer @actuallyautistic

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