VoxofGod

sebwhatever , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

I'm raging internally. Texting with one of my brothers and while i'm practically pleading for him to see the pain i've shouldered for ten years. He keeps making excuses and empty platitudes and victim-blaming.

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

Yeah it does not get better

I tried for decades with my youngest brother

Who my family props up so much I'm calling him polished turd

That is so standoffish with me that literally no one I tell the story to isn't shocked

Sorry about this

Be gentle with yourself and bounce back as quickly as possible

Without suppressing anything

🙏

Uair , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic @AtheismActually

Did anyone notice that a lot of people seem to have broken their understanding of causality? I mean that people don't comprehend that people's actions cause future effects; they see the world as a chaotic montage rather than the plotted story it mostly is.

I know it's a defense mechanism against serious abuse as a kid, but it seems to be everywhere these days. Is the end of the world just too much for too many to handle?

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@Uair @actuallyautistic @AtheismActually

There were remarks written about/during the years leading up to the crisis of world war II, and how an hysteria enters the public

@AnarchoNinaWrites mentioned it several iterations ago on the bird site drawing the comparison to what is happening today... That was years ago, it's so much more so now.

undefined_variable , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

So, folks, when a combination of autistic shutdown and a major depressive episode due ongoing stress hits you hard, when that final little (or not so little) straw yet again lands on your back... Do you have someone to turn to for help, you can count on?

Two of my closest peeps are dealing with some heavy poopoo themselves, so ain't gonna bother them, and not much they could do either, I recon. Just shut down totally for a couple of hours, like lights out, nobody working in the head office (the butterfly meme here with "Is this dissociating?) Woke up now, and I have no clue what to do, who to turn to (and yes, I've had social workers and nurses and all kinds of professional contacts, but alas, with this particular straw, nobody seems to be able or rather willing to help). Also, is there an "Actually Depressed" group? Seriously, if someone knows a good peer support chat for depression/the worse kind of depression, fling me a PM or something. My old one has pretty much died, no pun intended...

#ActuallyAutistic #depression

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@undefined_variable @innervisioner @actuallyautistic

A lot was done for me because of EMDR. I was able to get past some trauma and at least be able to understand the scope of it.

And de-trigger it and teach me that mechanism so I could develop it through my life

haui , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

Being @actuallyautistic and #gifted for me means I often get told the following, initially:

„No! You‘re wrong! What a shit take! You have no idea what you‘re talking about! Stop the drugs, man!“ and the like.

After some discussion, people say:

„I have not thought of it this way. I got you wrong. We should actually consider doing it your way. You seem to have deeper insight than the average person.“

This often makes me question my place in this world. Anyone else? #actuallyautistic

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@haui @actuallyautistic

Blamed for getting it right, and gas lit about it for as long as everyone is still wanting to believe the old facts

And then once everyone has been able to put it into words that they either can or must accept, erasure of you because it was just too stressful to have to deal with that person

Change is not fun for most everybody

And you end up having to shut your head down and not see it, because others don't want to.

It's a life, not necessarily fun or real though

JeremyMallin , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

A thing I don't get about #SmallTalk (one of many things)

Why does everyone talk about the weather shortly after greeting each other?

"Um? Yes, I too went outside. That's how we both got here."

Did they think you didn't notice on the way over? 🤔

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic

I think the words are very secondary It's about being yourself and vibing your vibe close to someone else so that that person can vibe your vibe a little bit as well

JeremyMallin , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

#RandomThoughts

I was well into adulthood when I finally figured out why no bath towel ever seems absorbent enough.

1. I'm #ActuallyAutistic; so, any moisturev at all on my skin greatly bothers me.

2. Skin soaks up water like a sponge. Even if you remove all the surface moisture, some water absorbed by the skin still makes its way back out to the surface.

3. Most bath towels truly are awful regardless.

@actuallyautistic
#SensoryIssues

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic linen towels rock

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic German

A few weeks ago, someone asked me what makes me happy or what I enjoy doing. I said, among others, that I liked playing the guitar very much, but hadn't done it in a while. Couldn't say why I hadn't.

This bothered me. I thought about it and finally found out why I had stopped: I had played something for a friend and felt very ashamed afterwards. Why did I do it in the first place? Why this song? How could I even think it was worth showing?

Can't seem to get over it.

@actuallyautistic

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

This is another great example of how our world is so upside down

Singing dancing art in general is done for

Y
O
U

To find that happiness that you can't find any other way that peace

The thing is, especially when you get good at finding the peace, others want to be around it

But now in this world where you have to justify your existence by money, the question is whether or not you are good enough to perform?

Totally backwards

Every performance is perfect

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

You're preaching to the choir there...

About any question the reason I have to speak so forcefully about this stuff is because the voices in my head are constantly trying to persuade me that I'm wrong about that

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

And I'm an old theater horse

In my fourth decade of professional performing

btaroli , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

I was in a weird null space this past weekend. I knew I had things I wanted to get to but just had literally no drive to do much. I did manage a few things but these were in the evening.

Sometimes I think my pattern is that I’m more productive when there are literally no people around that I know of. It’s not that they’re talking to me, but the very prospect of having to expend energy interacting with or avoiding them switches my drive off.

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@HaelusNovak @btaroli @actuallyautistic

This stuff can be cruel and the wrong type of person can take it the wrong way and the wrong type of person can use it to their advantage

Marlena Dietrich wanted to go to the opera so she asked a vocal teacher of mine

He picked her up she got in the cab and said, "Tell me when we're 5 minutes away"

She had a very blank face until he told her. At which time she brightened it up

Inside the Opera, tell me when we're 5 minutes from the end
Same thing...

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@HaelusNovak @btaroli @actuallyautistic

She lifted her a whole face with a little bit of a smile and bright eyes and etc to get rid of resting bitch face

RBF for short

I struggle with this as well in many different ways

I can be in pain and have to mask it or people feel uncomfortable

I can be scared/lonely/angry same thing

But that smile thing can help if I know that I am being watched and there's a passive way of doing it without using star wattage

There are many quick tricks one can..

VoxofGod , 7 months ago

@HaelusNovak @btaroli @actuallyautistic employ to project and engaged content face.

If you're not content people start to worry about you and about the general vibe etc

So like I said a little bit of a half smile nostrils flared, keeping the upper lip above the bottom of the upper teeth.

And spending enough time training the bottom lip to rest above the upper teeth as well

If your ombiture(sp? Mouth posture) is not active/high one look like you're frowning, two, it makes your lips deflate 🙏

EVDHmn , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
If anyone doesn’t mind much I have a random question!
Not so much a poll, but does anyone else sometimes have the problem of seeing things from too many angles, i was wondering if it worsens by expanding perceptions. I don’t mean in a hallucinations way, it’s just like they kinda contour in almost like a dataset, of theoretical, probability etc.or what could that be like, what could cause that, I know for myself it’s difficult. But rewarding in many ways. Please and thank you

VoxofGod , 8 months ago

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic I argue with standard tests all the time.

And have arrived at a place where I factor in the fact that I have thought so much about this issue that is time for me to realize that whatever choice I make it will probably be wrong

VoxofGod , 8 months ago

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic My dog is named for a Dominican nun... And one of the things that she say about being accurate and making the choices that we decide were correct in retrospect, is that the best you can get is to a place where you are saying to yourself... I think this is right?

lexx3000 , 8 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic i keep seeing here hyperfixation on being "extremely organised" as a definitely autistic trait, while messy being assigned to adhd and i'm (adult diagnosed) living with a diagnosed in a childhood person and we're messy as hell, especially in combination while neither of us suspect adhd and it's just very annoying to have it as a given here, does anyone share this even?

EDIT: removed ocd organised as it keeps being misread, replaced it with hyperfixation

VoxofGod , 8 months ago

@PatternChaser @lexx3000 @actuallyautistic

This is one area where I am definitely bipolar... Part of the time I am excellently organized, and what have you. It's when I have most of my spoons.

And then when in meltdown or burnout I have fewer I organize one particular thing that I'm focusing on and then let everything else slide

If it's a really heavy burnout I cannot clean for months