FrightenedRat

AutisticAdam , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Many autistic people have so much anxiety because, from a young age, we’re taught that our natural differences, as well as innocent things we do for ourselves (and things we can’t do), can anger other people and result in them punishing us, even when they’re not affected by them.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago (edited 7 months ago)

@ReimanSaara

I doubt anyone can 100% know if anxiety is inherent to autism.

I agree the world doesn't need to be so hostile to autistic kids (& adults). Thus much anxiety is added by circumstance.

But, just like our sensory, motor control, language & emotional processing circuitry, our anxiety system may be wired to produce heightened or unusual responses that predispose us to anxiety.

Perhaps the truth will turn out to lie somewhere in between?

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@aaronesilvers

I'm not so sure I relate to that definition - maybe we each mean something different by "anxiety"?

For me it's mostly an autonomic response. It gets triggered by sound & light & motion just as much as by higher level cognitive stuff eg social interaction or worries about a problem.

Strong physiological responses could inherently arise from our neurology. But as you say, that could also multiply our reactivity to life experiences.

@ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , 9 months ago to audhd

One of the nuances that "responsible drinking" campaigns often miss is the reason why Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people drink.

Autistic people don't necessarily drink with the goal of inebriation. Often, we drink to cope with the social environment. It acts as a social lubricant that makes it easier to talk and cope with the sensory bombardment that often happens in spaces where drinking is happening.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd #neurodiversity #mentalhealth

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd
I thought pretty much everyone drinks to cope with the social environment? Is that not the case?

I've seen a trope that some drink excessively to blot out/dull consciousness, but I assume that's uncommon in the population as a whole.

I'm not sure I understand what it means to get drunk just to get drunk. If it's not accidental then wouldn't they have some reason for ingesting toxins?

Oh - they just like it, full stop???

obrerx , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

In light of recent events here, it's clear Mastodon is a wild social world for me.

It's not as toxic as twitter, nor as hierarchical, nor as profit driven.

But it can be toxic here. It can be confusing. It can be triggering. It is in some ways like other social media including twitter.

It IS amazingly easy to be misunderstood here. To be misread.

And I've been misread my entire life. I've experienced trauma as an autistic child. PTSD. c-PTSD. I don't deal with toxicity well.

Too much conflict is confusing to me. Too many different personalities all chiming in at once confuses me.

[Note to self: it's not a crime to explain the history of a hashtag.]

#actuallyautistic
(this tag includes self-assessed autistics, and is meant to create spaces for autistic discussion)
#AllAutistics
#autism
#autistic
@actuallyautistic
@allautistics

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@dave @obrerx @actuallyautistic @allautistics

Warm and appreciative thoughts from me too. I have a great deal of respect for what you have to say, and I'm not alone in this.

Probably a lot of us here get the same intense (disproportionate?) anxieties after posting here as we do after a real life conversation - was I misunderstood, did I offend/say something ill judged? Might it be better to hide under a rock in shame for eternity?

It's not always easy to keep going; I'm so glad you do.

ratcatcher , 9 months ago to random

For anyone having issues with the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag, there is also #AllAutistics and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).

They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

The #ActuallyAutistic tag is problematic as we CONSTANTLY have to explain that it's not intended as gatekeeping.

So I'm up for us all rallying around a clearer tag.

However, people posting their experiences tagged with #AllAutistics are going to get others jumping in to say: You don't speak for ALL autistics!!

I fear it's a case of repeating the same ambiguity mistake twice.

Which is ironic when our bag is supposed to be a love of specificity!

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@ratcatcher @Gtmlosangeles @allautistics @actuallyautistic

It's not about who invented a tag but finding a shared tag that doesn't need exposition.

I don't want to be a jerk but the meaning isn't "clear enough" as there's a viable 2nd interpretation.

AllAutistics seems clear juxtaposed against AcutallyAutistic, but if you take away that context & put it in a random post:

Withering inside when someone laughs loudly. [#AllAutistics
]

It could EASILY look like over-generalising.

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@flowerpot @Gtmlosangeles @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

I was liking @dave 's
I #AmAutistic?
&
@hauchvonstaub 's
#ImAutistic
but now I think
#AutisticMe
would work perfectly!

What do other #ActuallyAutistic folk think?

Is change possible?

[I wasn't trying to be controlling & suggest that there must be one and only one hashtag that everyone used, but I do think we need one tag with enough of a critical mass to let new members quickly locate a wide and diverse community.]

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@Gtmlosangeles @hauchvonstaub @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic

Is that your own poem or a quote?

Either way it's fabulous. 👏

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@100mountains @flowerpot @Gtmlosangeles @ratcatcher @allautistics @actuallyautistic @dave @hauchvonstaub

If you are after regional groups then maybe use #AustisticMeUK or #AutisticMeEU to follow the pattern.

Once the local tags were in use then starting to type #AutisticMe should bring up the localised versions as well, so doing it that way round would help with visibility.

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@26pglt @hosford42 @yourautisticlife @Aerliss @marytzu @dpnash @CynAq @actuallyautistic

I think the quickly correcting comment was in relation to self dx/questioning people with impostor worries who feel excluded, rather than about gatekeepers.

It only takes a post to set them straight IF WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE - but my worry is that some may never get as far as engaging.

I don't wish to change tags but to me it feels the logical & kind solution as even 1 person lost like that is a tragedy.

anomalon , 9 months ago to random

Pattern brain:
Why the rush to a new hashtag when #ActuallyAutistic has been in use for ten years and is understood across every platform in use now?

Rude brain:
Why did all the cool kids get up and decide to sit at a new lunch table when the poor weird kid who was raised in a cult sat down with them?

Pattern brain: Shut up

Rude brain: I'm doing your job now.

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@CynAq @anomalon @autistic[email protected]

It wasn't a rush to a new tag.

When I 1st came here I assumed #ActuallyAutistic was gatekeeping & didn't interact until I saw the tag explained. Most weeks since I've seen posts assuming the same.

But like many of us I'm fond of the AA tag, plus change is... unappealing.

Then I saw a couple of posts under #AllAutistics & got quite anxious we'd go through the pain of change but end up with another problematic tag.

So I thought I'd better say something.

hosford42 , 10 months ago to actuallyautistic

I'm #autistic. The sound of the train blowing its horn as it passes my house makes me cover my ears in pain. But the throbbing bass of the engine that causes a deep pressure in my chest from the vibration makes me feel happy.

When I was a kid, I used to crank up the bass of my parents' stereo and sit directly against the woofer to feel that pressure. They would always yell at me to turn it down. I've always loved that feeling.

#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic
@neurodiversity

FrightenedRat , 10 months ago

@estellechauvelin @ScottSoCal @johnettesnuggs @hosford42 @Tooden @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

Ooh - it's interesting that you have difficulty with graphic novels/comics - I can't manage them either!

When I say this I get accused of snobbery, but the effort I need to put into extracting info from them makes me stressed & exhausted. I simply don't know where to look - especially if the speech bubbles jump about.

& in video games I'm awful at tracking both the mini-map + the main content.