FrightenedRat

CynAq , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

I have a number of question for people who report #aphantasia :

Do you daydream at all, and if you do, how does that work without visuals?

How does your memory work in general? Assuming you remember seeing things, being in places, meeting people, how does that work?

When you need to describe the appearance of something, how do you go about doing that? Do you plan ahead and memorize lists of features while the thing is in front of you?

Thanks! I’m trying to wrap my brain around this phenomenon I can’t experience myself so if you take some time to educate me I’ll be forever grateful.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

FrightenedRat , 6 months ago

@james @CynAq @actuallyautistic
Your first 2 paras sounds like me (I never knew daydreaming could go beyond thinking words).

I would never say I have strong visual learning (quite the opposite). However, I too like doing the diagram thing because it provides a spatial structure/boundaries within my conceptual network.

I can then think, in my mind, this new idea belongs with those things over there - and if feels like I'm physically pointing in a space, but there won't be visuals in my head.

sahat , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
the below quote has the most boosts and likes on masto right now. I am putting it here bc. some of us seem to feel is barrier between us and the NT world is insurmountable while IMO, we basically only experience , what many do, more pronounced and not being able to hide which makes our lives different.
The change we instill by our advocacy ripples throughout society.It will help all.That's why there is such weight on it.

"Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others." (commonly attributed but unsourced)@ruralgloom

FrightenedRat , 6 months ago

@sahat @actuallyautistic @ruralgloom

I can't decide whether I'm encouraged by the thought that a large number of people would like to break the social mould, or be horrified that so many people feel it as a burden but are still subjugated by an instinct / sense of needing to conform.

snoopy_jay , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
What's the deal with "keen sense of justice"? I am not sure what it's called in English, but I keep reading that it's an autism thing and I definitely have been accused of an "exaggerated" sense of justice or having too much of it. Why do we have that?

FrightenedRat , 6 months ago

@punishmenthurts @Vincarsi @snoopy_jay @HaelusNovak @actuallyautistic

I've been told in some cultures nepotism isn't unjust, it's expected, because you'd have to be cruel & selfish to not help your kin.

I learned justice rules as absolutes, but others learn rules as guidelines that should obviously be departed from if it's to the advantage of one's in crowd. And while they don't like it, they're less outraged by the same from other groups, because they might well do the same.

FrightenedRat , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

Hi, can anyone supply an example of a life hack where:

An autistic person might find the standard NT-easy way of doing a task hard, but can manage it via a non-standard approach that works well for them, but which NTs would class as hard/weird/way too much effort?

Bonus points if the example isn't about our best known differences like social communication or sensory issues (as at this point I'm trying not to flag that I'm talking about autism).

❤️ Thx ❤️

FrightenedRat OP , 7 months ago

@marytzu @actuallyautistic

Thanks - yes that could count! (I wouldn't expect any example to be universally applicable, so personal experiences are fine.)

karawynn , 7 months ago to random

Really excellent dual-author piece in the Nation on why separating 'types' of autism into different diagnoses is harmful to all autistic people. #actuallyautistic

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/autism-division/

FrightenedRat , 7 months ago

@marytzu @natalie_romana @ratcatcher @karawynn @actuallyautistic

IF autism is a kind of neurology that creates a spiky cognitive profile where each human trait is more prone to being stronger or weaker than the norm, then that could include some of us being outliers for a variety of intellectual abilities.

Many of us have dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia etc but others might struggle with logic, memory, abstraction, learning - with enough ducks in a row that could = Intellectual Disability.

dave , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Late-dxed/IDed #ActuallyAutistic friends:

Once you realized you were autistic, did you encounter overwhelming and overloading situations that you remembered "dealing" with much better before you learned you were autistic? Like learning you were autistic somehow changed how you processed these kinds of situations?

I'd love to (and frankly, need to) hear your stories. Please share if you're comfortable 💚🙏

FrightenedRat , 8 months ago

@nddev @Caddi @dave @actuallyautistic

"One of the first things I learnt about autists is that we're faithful to our spouses!"

I'd not heard that, but it's made me think. We need a poll! Except folks don't like to parade infidelities in public.

We can't all value monogamy or manage to stick to chosen forms of fidelity. But my slanderous & uninformed guess is that change averse Au folks may tend to be more faithful than AuDHD impulsive novelty seekers??

But RSD & PDA must also upset things. 🧐

Sci_Fi_FanGirl , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic

Can an #actuallyautistic teacher be a good teacher to NT students?

I have the feeling (certainly subjective and maybe wrong) that neurodiverse students like my teaching style and many students (ND+NT) tell me they like how I structure and explain things.

Yet, I often don't get what's happening and I struggle designing lessons NT-friendly. That's why it's often difficult and I don't know how to deal with some students.

Any thoughts?

FrightenedRat , 8 months ago

@onisillos @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic

Some ND teachers DO jump to conclusions though - eg a logical & philosophically minded lecturer who taught v technical stuff he found simple.

When students asked questions it didn't occur to him that they weren't understanding the - oh so simple & surely self evident - basics. Thus he'd interpret the question as asking something deep about the underlying nature of the system, & excitedly launch into a tangent about metalogic/metaphysics.

💔 😬 🤦‍♀️

ashleyspencer , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

Can I get your opinion?

I’m hesitant to offer discounts for reviews with Autistic Bookshop because authors would lose 10% profit. I could do 5% for a review, but that results in a different author losing 5% profit for a review on someone else’s book.

Giving 10% off just my stuff doesn’t seem enough. Could give nothing, but I don’t think honesty and good will are motivating enough. Reviews help the autistic authors make more money.

What would you think as the customer?

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 8 months ago

@ashleyspencer @actuallyautistic

I agree book ratings are subjective, but descriptions of why people liked/disliked a book are still informative.

I've been put off books by positive reviews that cite aspects I rarely enjoy; & (much more frequently) bought books because of bad reviews eg "too much philosophising, weird characters, no plot." ✅

I wouldn't buy a book online without reading a range of reviews first, so I'd class them as an essential part of marketing.

Sample pages help too.

EmOiva , 8 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to actuallyautistic

Does everyone have a running commentary in their head for whatever they are doing or experiencing, or is that a neurodivergent thing?

#AuDHD
#ADHD
#actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 8 months ago

@EmOiva @actuallyautistic

I'd describe my inner stream as continually thinking/planning & trying to find the right words to convey ideas (continuous editing); plus thinking about how I think & what I think - so meta cognition.

If I suspect emotional activity may be occurring I'll think about & try to describe to myself what state I might be in.

I relate less to inner narrators describing action & perception.

Is that different for you?

Jobob , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic so is this what a shutdown feels like? I'm exhausted after work, always previously said I was "tired". But importantly, I am feeling disconnected with myself, my inner monologue has all but stopped and I need to do the language equivalent of changing down two gears to make words. I can do the task in front of me but can't prioritise, engage higher brain function, or compare two tasks.
It occurs to me that this may not be how NTs experience "tired after a long day/week".

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@Jobob @actuallyautistic

I expect you are right & I hope you get a chance to recharge fully.

I don't know for sure but I strongly suspect that an NT person would be confused that you can

1. be exhausted to the point of dysfunction but simultaneously

2. be carefully engaging in meta-cognitive observation and analysis to understand and catalogue your state of mind.

[But I don't find this odd at all.]

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@Jobob @actuallyautistic

Yep. The meta thinking doesn't stop for me unless I'm ultra caught up in something e.g. occasionally while watching a play.

But whenever I talk about meta stuff to the NT guy I know he seems to think I'm being "too deep" & that thinking those kinds of thoughts must be exhausting & maybe I'd better stop.

Which makes me wonder, if other people aren't constantly having those kinds of thoughts, then what the hell is happening in their heads?

CynAq , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

@ferrous @actuallyautistic

I'm 27 minutes into this video you recommended me on my other account: https://fb.watch/nsxiaiBcBF/

and I must say, it's brilliant.

I'm not just talking about its usefulness in clearing up #Monotropism theory quite a bit but also giving me something I can absolutely relate to personally.

I felt a need to stop and make this post because of the comment about demand avoidance.

Just a couple days ago when I was trying to assess my mental states through the lens of monotropism, the first thing I thought about was my demand avoidance, and a general reluctance to start attention-demanding or stressful tasks because of my fear of potentially being interrupted or distracted by environmental factors.

The mechanism I proposed for this was the countless times I was pulled out of my flow states (or simply the good and enjoyable times I've had, engaging with something that meant a lot to me) by some external, parental or societal demand, and how this recurring trauma (because it indeed is traumatic) taught me to avoid all kinds of behaviors which would decrease my alertness to the outside world.

Hearing the same thing on your discussion helped a lot for putting things into perspective. Thanks for the recommendation.

#ActuallyAutistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@GreenRoc @CynAq @ferrous @actuallyautistic
Me too - I hadn't thought of it in terms of trauma, but I've noticed that knowing I have an appointment or unavoidable task later in the day makes it really really hard to settle. As if the whole day were spoiled.

While if there's nothing planned I get a feeling of bliss. (Though sadly that's no guarantee that I won't fritter my time away all the same. :face_melting: )

manon , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

So, once again I spent literally hours thinking about that and how I should tell my occupational therapist next time how much the surgery scar hurts.
Until finally, after hours, it occurred to me that taking a painkiller might actually help. Because that’s why they had prescribed them in the first place. In case it hurts. Because that’s what surgery scars can do.

I don’t know whether to laugh about myself or to cry. Will I ever learn? 🙄
#actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@manon @actuallyautistic

I rarely take pain killers. With small pains I prefer not to stop the signal which I regard as info.

• there's a silly element of quasi religious/cultural "suffering=good for the soul" learned from my dad.

But when pain gets BAD it just never occurs to me!! I forget it's an option. (Which is how I came to give birth with zero pain management but wishing someone would knock me unconscious. 🤣 I'd said to the midwife not to keep asking as I'd say if I needed anything.)

AutisticAdam , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Many autistic people have so much anxiety because, from a young age, we’re taught that our natural differences, as well as innocent things we do for ourselves (and things we can’t do), can anger other people and result in them punishing us, even when they’re not affected by them.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@ar_collins

My perception is: the infrequent "attacks" are the daily stuff writ large.

So, would you call it "panic" when it's not an attack & nowhere remotely close to panic but just living your life with your body on high alert + full of unarticulated apprehension & unsourced dread? Seems no closer to panic than anxiety.

GAD has a long list of physical symptoms & Panic Disorder is sometimes classed as extreme anxiety. Muddy.☑️

@aaronesilvers @ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

FrightenedRat , 9 months ago

@ar_collins
I don't think Stress covers it.

I check most of these GAD symptoms on the NHS site: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/anxiety#symptoms

At the end it says "if you have GAD, it may not always be clear what you are feeling anxious about." So maybe the physical turmoil side can get a bit detached from the mental Worrying over X side.

Constantly over analysing (worrying over?) everything + having alexithymia might detach the mental/physical aspects?

@aaronesilvers @ReimanSaara @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic