Some time around 2015 or so I had a horrifying experience where I was at work on a really windy day, and a branch was just banging on the wall outside all day.
The constant noise seemed to ratchet up my stress levels all day until I literally shut down. First I lost the ability to speak, then to even walk.
I stumbled out of my office, and the office manager called an ambulance, and I was hospitalised, but nothing was found. The doctors ultimately put it down to some kind of migraine, whereas I assumed it to be some kind of overstimulation thing.
However, it seems to be that since then, if I'm under too much stress, I start stuttering.
It's uncommon, and usually related to work stress, or occasionally emotional stress.
I can still (for the most part) think fluently, but attempting to speak results in a stutter, and I just have to wait it out.
The thing is, it doesn't seem to fit any categorisation I can find. It doesn't seem to fit selective mutism, and everything I can find about stuttering seems to indicate that when it starts it doesn't stop, whereas when the source of stress is removed, I'm usually OK within a few hours, or after a good night's sleep.
It's terribly embarrassing when it happens, but it's usually a sign that I need to relax, like, immediately.
It's never happened during a psychologist appointment.
Until today, when I apparently stepped on an emotional landmine. Towards the end of the session, I started talking about some deeply traumatic memories that unblocked last week... and my heart started pounding, and I started to lose my ability to speak, until nothing would come out except a stammer, unless I made a huge effort, and even then, it's incredibly slow.
I can still type though, so I grabbed my phone and typed out what was happening, and she was able to talk me through some exercises to get me talking (slowly), and safe enough to drive home, but we were over time by that point, so there wasn't time to explain beyond more than a brief "nervous system response to flashback" just WTF happened to me.
I don't understand it. Google isn't helping AT ALL, because nothing fits. I can think the words, but they won't come out when I try to speak, but eventually I'm OK again.
I've always just assumed it was stress-related "autism" thing, but now I don't know. I couldn't seem to find anything that seems to fit the experience, of a temporary stutter in that circumstance and I just want to know if other people have had this experience.
I'm guessing I've spent more than a hundred hours talking to psychologists over the years, and it's just never happened before.
I have an #OpenWRT router. Let’s say I install Tailscale on it and want to create an interface that specifically routes to one of my exit nodes. Can I do that?
Everything I’ve seen about Tailscale on OpenWRT just provides direct router access to the tailnet (100.x.x.x), but I specifically want to route certain traffic to an exit node.
Can I do this? Do me proud, Fediverse! Hoping I can get good answers here without resorting to Reddit.
I’ve done something similar, though not with openwrt. There may be a decent way to do this on the firewall, but I ended up using the ACLs available from the Tailscale console.
I removed the default allow all rule. I made a group called admins that can access everything and then added a set of routes that everyone on the tail net could access.
I’ve only recently set this up, but initial testing seems to have this working as hoped.
I’m not sure this hits the nail for you or not, but I recently solved a question I had regarding tailscale and routing traffic through an exitnode that was using a VPN. Could be worth a peek.
#AskingAutistics Does telling an allistic person you're #autisticever help improve communication? Over and over, I let people know I'm autistic in hopes it will help, but it never makes things better. It seems like no one wants to do the reading, or to make an effort to even meet me halfway. The main reactions I get when I disclose fall into these categories:
Ignore it entirely and just keep on like I'm not autistic.
Say I'm nothing like their 10 year old nephew who has #autism.
Assume that since we're friends it doesn't matter, because friendship is magic and will enable me to "overcome my autism" with them if I am just motivated enough, and if they aren't special enough for me to do that then I don't really value them as a friend.
Give advice on how I can mask better for their comfort and convenience, like I haven't spent my whole life becoming expert on that.
Try to be accommodating without taking the time to learn what is helpful and what is just going to make things worse.
Infantilize me and treat me like a child or an intellectually disabled person.
Give up on me because autistic people are too hard to deal with.
No reaction, because most people don't know anything about autism. They don't even understand that I'm doing all the work to bridge the communication gap, or that they could do anything to help, or even cut me some slack when I fail.
I do have a couple allistic friends who accommodate me enough to maintain a decent relationship, but they are rare and special. And we had somehow worked that out before I knew I was #ActuallyAutistic even, so telling them still didn't change much.
Has anyone had communication improve by telling someone you're autistic? Or is that just a fantasy?
@Falco_77@BZBrainz@joshsusser@actuallyautistic
Interesting. Made the same observation during my years as an academic, albeit I had to refine those skills early in my career. It's like 'mode switching', where the professional formal mode switches between the informal mode and even the 'autistic' mode (rarely in public).
1973 #Ethernet as one of the defining information technologies in modern communication was developed at #PARC by Chuck Thackers for #Alto#Computer s. What Bob Metcalf, Butler Lampson, and Dave Boggs built for the #ARPAnet is connecting us all today— via the #Internet, & @fediverse.
You are conflating layer 1 technologies (shielded or unshielded twisted pair, CAT3 through CAT7) with layer 2 technologies (Ethernet).
Layer one is the physical media itself. Alternatively some modern-day L1s are MoCA, Powerline, WiFi, fiber, and of course, 1000BaseT, whose standard specifies CAT5e or higher STP.
Layer two is how those bits get sent in that media. Ethernet is, by and far, the most familiar L2.
And then layer three is where we get to networking and start talking about IP addresses (IP being the most familiar L3).
"Nah, I don't stim!"
"Is THIS stimming?"
"I stim, therefore I am"
-from "Initiation Rites for the Late-Identified #ActuallyAutistic "-
I really thought I don't stim. I don't rock or flap my hands or jump or chew things or make stimmy sounds.
Of course, I do softly grind my teeth (sometimes I may wear night guard during daytime too), wiggle my toes or legs, enjoy knitting simple patterns (= the same repetitive motion), fidget like there's no tomorrow with any small object I can get my hands on and may start picking my nails if I can't find anything else, doodle, I might undo my hair and braid it while watching TV, or braid tassels of my throw blanket...
Stimming is healthy and good for you. Do it.
If -as is the case with many late-identified autists- you have suppressed your stims or been pressured to stop and feel like you have forgotten how to stim, then try to start again. Learn about different stims and just try different ones until you find something that does the trick for you.
@ReimanSaara@btaroli@actuallyautistic it can also be in allistic society’s interests to minimise or dismiss the effects or visibility of autistic being. There is emotional, mental, cultural and literal cost to them in accepting us and adapting to us.
@joewynne Morn's master plan in action. Fake your own death to get your loose cannon theft partners out of the way, and then make off with the latinum yourself.
@antiquidons Hipparchos concluded that the star Spica, part of the constellation #Virgo, had moved 2° relative to the #AutumnalEquinox.
When he compared the time it took the Sun to return to an #equinox with the time it took the Sun to return to a fixed star, he found a slight discrepancy. The equinoxes were moving ("precessing") through the zodiac, and that the rate of precession was at least 1° in a century. In other words: a full cycle through the zodiac is completed every 36,000 years.
@antiquidons#Astronomy and calendars are the domain of #Hermes. His grandfather Atlas turns the heavenly constellations and his mother Maia is one of the starry Pleiades.
Atlas instructed him in astronomy and the Greek mythographer Euhemeros says that #Aphrodite first established the constellations and taught Hermes. The planet #Mercury is attributed to Hermes because he first established the months and perceived the courses of the constellations.
Gerrit Bartels im tgsp:
»Aufschlussreicher wäre, wer ein Interesse an diesem Durchstechen von Schulzes Mängelliste [an die Buchpreis-Jury] hatte? Wem sollte genützt, geschadet oder worauf aufmerksam gemacht werden? Sollte der Jury bedeutet werden, sie solle doch bitte ihre Arbeit besser machen?«
Ja, puh, schwierige Fragen das, ich kann mir auch nicht vorstellen, wie ich als Juror*in den Roman betrachten und bewerten würde, wenn mir eine Mängelliste dazu geliefert würde. #Gneuß
der Vorwurf, dass »vielleicht nicht gewissenhaft nachrecherchiert wurde« (tgsp) ist ein Witz, wenn man bedenkt, dass 8 von 10 Literatur-Journalist*innen die Bücher, die sie rezensieren, nicht gelesen haben.
Es ist insofern ein Hohn, als, wenn man gewissenhaft recherchiert und dann dafür gelobt wird (jaja, ich spreche von mir), dieses Lob auch immer ein Gschmäckle hat, von wegen: hat sich Mühe gegeben, Fleißarbeit usw
Just name if Final Fantasy 7 - Remake part 1/2/whatever… or something.
I’m not gonna buy this shit cause the prices are fucking stupid, but it’d still be nice to be able to keep track of this shit in a way that makes sense to human brains.
I know what ableism is & educate true ableism. I also know the damage to the community that the 'ableist police Karens' do
Here I sit in a motorized wheelchair, hooked up to a feeding tube pump, with a pump in my abdomen & cath in my spinal column that delivers medication to my brain and an anti-ableist 'police' Karen came at me in a DM over a gun violence boost
When I wouldn't engage, it abused two of my HashtagGames tags with a lecture & a 'take a look at yourself' with a misquote
2/2
Just to be clear, I don't send my followers after anyone. Many of my followers are people that live with invisible disabilities and mental health challenges and they're tired of the inequality within the disabled community as well. They categorize it as Ableism just as I do. It's their prerogative to challenge what they see as Ableism and I have no control over that. People with MI challenges are not criminals or abusers. Criminals or abusers come from all walks of life, backgrounds and health circumstances.
The claim that I attacked both hashtags saying "take a look inside" was not directed at this individual but, the original poster and everyone else who feels it's okay to make derogatory comments about people with invisible disabilities and mental health challenges. Someone has definitely misinterpreted but, it wasn't me. The post reference about "take a look inside", is linked to the post above.
Regarding health issues: I'm not very far behind the description of the health issues noted in this post. I have two brain injuries, a spine injury, multiple orthopedic disabilities, autism, fibromyalgia, and a host of other disabilities. Apparently secret posts of misinformation has resulted in "cancel culture". As long as these things continue, right wing fascists will continue to be victorious.
@OutOfExile_IDR_Voice@paul@disability@disabilityjustice@MadMovementMastodon I read it as an adjective rather than a noun: referring to a person who is simultaneously a criminal and mentally ill and a drug addict and a wife abuser. It reads to me like it's meant to be a list of risk factors for violence.
Who has what disabilities is irrelevant.
The ableist part is using mental illness as shorthand for predisposed to violence.