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programmer_humor

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hades , in Brainfuck is the sixth circle

Despite this design, it is possible to write useful programs.

Interestingly, this applies to C++ too.

survivalmachine , in Tinder to ban web developers who use 'engineer' in their bio

Honestly, nobody should call themselves an engineer unless they literally drive trains for a living.

Omega_Haxors ,

Infrastructure erasure in the states is so bad that people who build it for a living aren’t even considered anymore.

Kissaki ,
@Kissaki@programming.dev avatar

Driving a train is engineering?

survivalmachine ,

In North America, the driver of a train engine is called an “engineer”, yes.

Kissaki ,
@Kissaki@programming.dev avatar

I see, TIL. That’s different from Germany, where Ingenieur is a protected term.

_MusicJunkie ,

In the railway context an engineer was the person who worked the engine.

In German the word comes from Latin roughly meaning inventor. Presumably the general usage of the word engineer in English has the same etymology.

intensely_human ,

See I’d call that a conductor

captsneeze ,

In the US, a conductor is the one who checks tickets, makes announcements, and delegates tasks to the crew to help ensure things keep moving on time.

The locomotive engineer is the one who is “driving” the train. They run the engine and communicate with dispatch and traffic control to keep them informed where this particular train is fitting into the overall juggling act,. They also make every effort to keep things safe (watching for signals, obstructions, etc.).

I’m not 100% sure if the terminology is different outside of the Us.

(Source: My father is a 3rd generation locomotive engineer.)

MiDaBa ,

See I thought a conductor was a person who grabs a live main wire while standing in water.

TheLobotomist ,
@TheLobotomist@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Funny and infromative

VoterFrog ,

Or they build trebuchets

sunbeam60 ,

In many countries the term “engineer” is a protected title.

survivalmachine ,

Yes, driving trains is becoming more and more important as we find out how terrible cars are for the environment. We should protect the profession fiercely!

xoggy , in I like seeing the numbers go up
@xoggy@programming.dev avatar

It’s about the journey not the destination.

SkybreakerEngineer ,

Journey before pancakes, gancho

SzethFriendOfNimi , in What I want to become Vs What I do

Which are used to calculate stresses for dams, fluid dynamics for planes and ships, capacity and load simulations for power, and to compile and operate servers.

Software engineers are the pinnacle of engineering.

Check out this book on Amazon (or your library) to see just how clever and useful we really are.

www.amazon.com/…/B07X66DCLM

Norgur ,

If you need a book to tell you how useful you are, chances are, it's claims might.be a bit overblown. The profession that has most of those.books written about them are managers after all. Just saying.

smashboy ,

You didn’t click it, did you?

Norgur ,

Amazon lead me to a "not available where you are" page, so... Me sowwy

variants ,
bloubz ,

This person really went and promoted Amazon. Thank you for supporting your family business

Kusimulkku ,

(click the link)

Kidplayer_666 ,

Son of a gun

sag OP ,

We are useful?? Thanks You Man I hope my parents also understand that Software Engineering is also a real Engineering

wewbull ,

Software engineering doesn’t treat failure anywhere near important enough for me to consider it proper engineering. Bugs are expected, excused and waived, which for anything critical just isn’t acceptable in my opinion.

Is software still useful? … Sure.

theneverfox ,
@theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

Bugs are inevitable. Humans can’t write more than a few dozen lines without making a mistake - it’s inevitable because we’re barely sentient apes, floundering to understand the full scope of the problem space

But through methodology, bugs can be mitigated. You can reduce their number, and fail gracefully. We have countless ways to do it, and we teach how widely

There’s a science to it all, and those of us worth our salt know it… It’s not our fault that management disregards our warnings and pushes ever tighter deadlines.

We know how to do better, our warnings just fall on deaf ears far more often then not

RubberElectrons ,
@RubberElectrons@lemmy.world avatar

Meh. There’s a saying in my field: “anyone can build a bridge, only an engineer can make one that barely doesn’t fall down”.

Humorously reductive as it is, software is what makes that “barely” thinner than human calculation would normally yield. So… Yeah. Not what I’d call a pinnacle.

SzethFriendOfNimi ,

Did you look at the book I linked?

RubberElectrons ,
@RubberElectrons@lemmy.world avatar

No cuz, the link doesn’t properly load 😂

E: try searching for just the ASIN: B07X66DCLM and note that I’m using the one you provided!

SzethFriendOfNimi ,

Ahh. It’s a boutique link that points to Amazon Digital Purchase of Rick Astleys Never Gonna Give You Up.

E.g. my post was a red herring

RubberElectrons ,
@RubberElectrons@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah it loaded after searching the ASIN hahaha

SatanicNotMessianic , in Programming: The Horror Game

TFW when all of your bugs are like cockroaches that run away from the light but hide in the dark where you can’t see them.

abbadon420 , in Guthib

I also like the sl command for linux: github.com/mtoyoda/sl

https://raw.githubusercontent.com/mtoyoda/sl/master/demo.gif

The animation takes ages and you can’t cancel it XD

docAvid ,

And it has a whole set of options based on common ls options. Classic and brilliant.

idunnololz , (edited )
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

IIRC the train travels at a constant speed so you can make it faster by resizing your terminal so it’s narrower. Thus the train has a shorter distance to travel and the animation length is reduced.

abbadon420 ,

TIL

user224 ,
@user224@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

echo ‘while true; do sl; done’ >> ~/.bashrc

Kerb ,
@Kerb@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

the best part is the version with the flags -al

Aatube ,
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

you mean -Flacked

Kerb ,
@Kerb@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

you can actuall stop it by pressing ctrl-z and running bg

joyjoy ,

The average bash user doesn’t know how to do that.

Aatube ,
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

I'm sure there's an asciicast of this beautiful steamroll somewhere...

Kolanaki , in Bill is a pro grammer
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“I’ll just be extremely precise with my variable names. Then everyone will know exactly what everything does!”

Uses variable names like “INTEGER” and “STRING”

nexussapphire ,

I’ll be that person who makes an catch block for something as simple as double n = 2+5.

EmergMemeHologram , in Merge then review

No integration is as continuous as editing in prod.

Theharpyeagle ,

Unironically worked for a company that did this. Don’t test it, don’t even run it, just put it in prod.

Wild_Mastic ,

Me too, it was glorious that time someone accidentally pushed on a Friday evening and stopped production lines for the following week.

KeenFlame ,

I miss when internet services was literally down because it was being developed in place

bucho , in Harder Drive: Hard drives we didn't want or need

I love this guy’s channel. Two of my other favorite things he’s done are: Uppest Case / Lowest Case, and that time he Reverse Emulated a NES.

Deebster ,
@Deebster@lemmyrs.org avatar

It's so rare that we get a new video, but it's always a special day when it happens.

mojo , in Int and bool walk into a bar

Shouldn’t it be a float that goes between 0 and 1 instead of an int. In this situation they’d be the same thing, considering 1 would be max lol.

MaggiWuerze ,

So you only shower with 1° cold water? Or could the int maybe represent something like 40°C?

sup4rawr ,

but degrees aren’t integers, you can definitely also shower at 40,5°C

jcg ,

Not to overdissect a meme, but it really should be an unsigned byte since that’s what the digitiser would probably have as an input or output.

mojo ,

The temperature handle is either off or maxed out in this scenario. Not the temperature.

MaggiWuerze ,

Yeah, that’s why it says “supposed to work”

wieli99 ,

You’re getting down voted, but you’re right lol

MaggiWuerze ,

Yeah, don’t know why people would describe temperature on a 0-1 scale

Synctrex , in Father material

How to kill child with fork?

korstmos , in Java

Doubles have a much higher max value than ints, so if the method were to convert all doubles to ints they would not work for double values above 2^31-1.

(It would work, but any value over 2^31-1 passed to such a function would get clamped to 2^31-1)

affiliate ,

what about using two ints

idunnololz ,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

What about two int64_t

affiliate ,

yeah that would be pretty effective. could also go to three just to be safe

hariette ,
@hariette@artemis.camp avatar

Make it four, just to be even

korstmos ,

A BigDecimal?

karlthemailman ,

So why not return a long or whatever the 64 bit int equivalent is?

korstmos ,

Because even a long (64-bit int) is too small :)
A long can hold 2^64-1 = 1.84E19
A double can hold 1.79E308

Double does some black magic with an exponent, and can hold absolutely massive numbers!

Double also has some situations that it defines as "infinity", a concept that does not exist in long as far as I know (?)

whats_a_refoogee ,

To avoid a type conversion that might not be expected. Integer math in Java differs from floating point math.

Math.floor(10.6) / Math.floor(4.6) = 2.5 (double)

If floor returned a long, then

Math.floor(10.6) / Math.floor(4.6) = 2 (long)

If your entire code section is working with doubles, you might not like finding Math.floor() unexpectedly creating a condition for integer division and messing up your calculation. (Have fun debugging this if you’re not actively aware of this behavior).

parlaptie ,

But there’s really no point in flooring a double outside of the range where integers can be represented accurately, is there.

psycho_driver , in Malware As A Service

The answer is obviously to require all users to change their passwords and make them stronger. 26 minimum characters; two capitals, two numbers, two special characters, cannot include ‘_’, ‘b’ or the number ‘8’, and most include Pi to the 6th place.

arendjr ,

Sorry, I don’t understand. Do you mean there have to be 6 digits of Pi in there, or the sixth character must be π? I’m down either way.

chiliedogg ,

We won’t tell you, and the rule gets re-rolled every 14 seconds. It may stay the same or it may change.

JackbyDev ,

Also, there are requirements we check for that we don’t tell you about! 🤭

greybeard ,

The modern direction is actually going the other way. Tying identity to hardware, preventing access on unapproved or uncompliant hardware. It has the advantage of allowing biometrics or things like simple pins. In an ideal world, SSO would ensure that every single account, across the many vendors, have these protections, although we are far from a perfect world.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In ,

SSO means you only need to compromise one piece of hardware to get access to everything.

greybeard ,

Effectively, the other option is passwords, and people are really, really, bad at passwords. Password managers help, but then you just need to compromise the password manager. Strong SSO, backed by hardware, at least makes the attack need to be either physical, or running on a hardware approved by the company. When you mix that with strong execution protections, an EDR, and general policy enforcement and compliance checking, you get protection that beats the pants off 30 different passwords to 30 different sites, or more realistically, 3 passwords to 30 different sites.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In ,

Yes, much better than 3-30 passwords.

But I view SSO as enterprise password manager with a nice UI. I don’t trust it for anything super important.

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

Great! Now when I brute force the login, I can tell my program to not waste time trying ‘_’, ‘b’ and ‘8’ and add Pi to the 6th place in every password, along with 2 capitals, 2 numbers and 2 other special characters.

Furthermore, I don’t need to check passwords with less than 26 characters.

some_guy , in Big brain with Crowdstrike

I work in IT. We don’t run CS here, but a bunch of clients of my old employer do. I had just shitposted about this fiasco in a discord server populated with fellow techs from that company, fired up lemmy, and this was the first post. What a fucking banger! I immediately shitposted again pasting this image. You’ve made my day. I need to stop using the internet because it’s all downhill from here. Thank you.

muffedtrims OP ,

Fun story, my company just kicked off a PoC with crowdstrike 2 days ago. So far my computer was the only one that the agent was on as we had other work that needed to be done and we paused the rollout to the rest of my team. I woke up to boot loop hell today. Got it fixed right away, but so glad we didn’t roll it out any further. Not a good look to be starting a PoC with.

Heymaker123 ,

Sophos endpoint for years. We had an issue like this when we installed their software on one of Microsoft surface that use MS CPU we bricked every one of them. Kept Sophos and got rid of all the surfaces with Microsoft CPU.

jemikwa ,

If it’s any consolation, this is the first issue of its kind in the multiple years we’ve been using CS. Still unacceptable, but historically the program has been stable and effective for us. Hopefully this reminds higher ups the importance of proper testing before releases

muffedtrims OP ,

For sure, my previous company I left last August ran CS for 3 years and we had no issues. Hopefully they hire a bunch of QA folks that were probably part of the layoffs earlier this year.

lobut ,

I mean it seems almost impossible that they either didn’t have a staging process to test N number of machines either virtual or otherwise or it passed through but it just seems insane that a problem of this magnitude went out to this many people.

apprehentice , in Implementing RFC 3339 shouldn't really be that hard...

When the API returns UTC, but the system insists on giving you local time… but there’s an extension method that accepts DateTimeOffset?

agressivelyPassive ,

Or requires a timestamp with zone offset, but ignores the zone offset, so you have to send the timestamp itself with a zone offset of zero relative to the systems timezone, but can’t just omit the zone offset, because it’s required.

bleistift2 ,

When the API returns UTC, but mandates that you give it an offset which it will add or subtract from the UTC time, while still adding the Z at the end.

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