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programmer_humor

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peak_dunning_krueger , in If Architects had to work like Programmers

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

That’s actually too easy, because electrical systems have been standardized for a long time.

Should be something like “15 highpowered electrical stoves, but keep the total power consumption below 15 Watts.”

Or, homeautomation and integration with google/alexa, but using the old fridge.

Thorry84 , in git commit -m "minor fixes" +26858 -69429

I’ve seen a changelog that said “Introduced some bugs, so we can fix them later”.

It was a joke, but true nonetheless.

pressanykeynow ,

It was a joke

Narrator: Of course, it wasn’t.

Th4tGuyII , in Not mocking cobol devs but yall are severely underpaid for keeping fintech alive
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

Who would've thought a sector with gold flowing through its hands would be so stingy when it comes to updating their backend that they'd end up relying on a dying language, and call upon AI to update it for them rather than just paying a competent team to create and rigorously test a new backend in a modern language

aksdb ,

One problem is that they need to put a price tag and therefore a timeline on such a project. Due to the complexity and the many unknown unknowns in theses decades worth of accumulated technical debts, no one can properly estimate that. And so these projects never get off and typically die during planning/evaluation when both numbers (cost and time) climb higher and higher the longer people think about it.

IMO a solution would be to do it iteratively with a small team and just finish whenever. Upside: you have people who know the system inside-out at hand all the time should something come up. Downside of course is that you have effectively no meaningful reporting on when this thing is finished.

rekabis , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

“This argument didn’t go down well.”

🤣🤣🤣 LMAO

What an awesome punchline, should have been on its own line for more impact.

breadsmasher , in Imagine
@breadsmasher@lemmy.world avatar

Already have ads with node / npm “looking for developers / donations / funding” messages

30p87 ,
hblaub , in Which side are you? Javascript or Typescript

TypeScript of course. The compiler often times catches mistakes in variable names, API methods, whatever. So it saves time by not having to run the whole application all the time. Also the input help is much better, when the editor knows sth is a string or a number, for example.

o_d ,
@o_d@lemmygrad.ml avatar

Oh yeah. Or when it’s a union of multiple strings or an enum and you get that sweet popup of all your options. So good 🥹

fidodo ,

And being able to use more complex object types like discriminated unions without having to constantly look up what’s in them!

drkt , in They tried

Oh boo I can’t visit American propaganda websites what a loss to my European life style

MDFL OP ,

I have run into this recently on several non-US, non-news sites. Your comment is propaganda.

Kichae ,

propaganda

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

BruceTwarzen ,

It's a synonym for socialism and it means everything that i don't like

MDFL OP , (edited )

I absolutely do. Spreading the idea that news sites are all propaganda and the only entities involved in this kind of practice is, in itself, propaganda.

explodicle ,

I think they were referring only to American news websites.

MDFL OP ,

You’re right. I wasn’t clear in my comment. Saying all US-news sites are propaganda is propaganda. I’m not sure how that changes anything.

mojo ,

It’s a lost cause, the EU circlejerk is too strong, as clearly everything is a utopia over there with nothing wrong.

GDPR is a good idea, but still very flawed in practice which they really don’t like to admit anything wrong for some reason.

explodicle ,

Bruh he was just being unclear

smollittlefrog ,

claiming the GDPR is good =/= claiming the GDPR is flawless

mojo ,

Yeah, and?

smollittlefrog ,

They didn’t say that either. Where do you get this idea from that they’re talking about (all) US news sites?

They said “American propaganda websites”. That may include some news sites. It may also not include some news sites.

The most you could infer from their statement is that only American propaganda websites violate the GDPR.

Of course websites exist that violate the GDPR and are not American propaganda websites.

But the vast majority of websites commiting severe violations of the GDPR that an average European encounters will be American propaganda websites.

(Believe it or not, Europeans don’t often visit websites written in Russian or Chinese.)

Kalkaline ,
@Kalkaline@programming.dev avatar

It means “something bad that I disagree with”, synonymous with communism, socialism, democrats, and Nazis, at least that’s what Infowars tells me.

Pandoras_Can_Opener , (edited )
@Pandoras_Can_Opener@mander.xyz avatar

Infowars tells you Nazis are something you disagree with? Haven’t heard from them in a while. Would have thought they’d quietly drop the Nazis are evil thing.

Nioxic , in Hallelujah

Dir?

SturgiesYrFase ,
@SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml avatar

Well that’s rude…

Nintendo ,

what did you say? say that again to my face, I dare you.

Nioxic ,

I apologize. I didnt mean to offend anyone!

lugal ,

Mir?

nodiet ,

Mir nichts, dir nichts

lugal ,

Achso, schade, aber kann man nichts machen

friendlymessage ,

Tja

AnUnusualRelic ,
@AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world avatar

Why are DOS commands always so verbose?

SubArcticTundra ,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Wait till I tell you about Pause

out , (edited )

deleted_by_author

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  • leviosa ,
    @leviosa@programming.dev avatar

    Old habits die hard, that’s the first alias on my list in .zshrc!

    mexicancartel ,

    ^L

    RaivoKulli ,

    Just makes the command prompt climb into a hole

    thepianistfroggollum ,

    Too many letters

    mlg , in Psychopath Dev
    @mlg@lemmy.world avatar

    I actually got flagged on reddit for a joke comment I made with a 3 liner code block that had something like thread.kill()

    It thought I was promoting violence lol

    SpaceNoodle ,

    Reddit: for bots, by bots

    Pantsofmagic ,

    Imagine the possibilities when AI gets involved and can’t distinguish between killing children (programming) vs IRL.

    bulwark , in Just a dad helping out

    Do you guys have any idea how expensive a website is with a Large Screen size?

    Steamymoomilk ,

    goes to website on 47in TV

    The price of development is insane

    yonder ,

    Plugs in HTC Vive and uses WLX-overlay to enlarge the website to 100m virtually.

    Steamymoomilk ,
    dan , (edited ) in Seriously how many times does this have to happen
    @dan@upvote.au avatar

    At my workplace, we use the string @nocommit to designate code that shouldn’t be checked in. Usually in a comment:

    
    <span style="color:#323232;">// @nocommit temporary for testing
    </span><span style="color:#323232;">apiKey = 'blah';
    </span><span style="color:#323232;">// apiKey = getKeyFromKeychain(); 
    </span>
    

    but it can be anywhere in the file.

    There’s a lint rule that looks for @nocommit in all modified files. It shows a lint error in dev and in our code review / build system, and commits that contain @nocommit anywhere are completely blocked from being merged.

    (the code in the lint rule does something like “@no”+“commit” to avoid triggering itself)

    8uurg ,

    Neat idea. This could be refined by adding a git hook that runs (rip)grep on the entire codebase and fails if anything is found upon commit may accomplish a similar result and stop the code from being committed entirely. Requires a bit more setup work on de developers end, though.

    dan ,
    @dan@upvote.au avatar

    Would a git hook block you from committing it locally, or would it just run on the server side?

    I’m not sure how our one at work is implemented, but we can actually commit @nocommit files in our local repo, and push them into the code review system. We just can’t merge any changes that contain it.

    It’s used for common workflows like creating new database entities. During development, the ORM system creates a dev database on a test DB cluster and automatically points the code to it with a @nocommit comment above it. When the code is approved, the new schema is pushed to prod and the code is updated to point to the real DB.

    Also, the codebase is way too large for something like ripgrep to search the whole codebase in a reasonable time, which is why it only searches the commit diffs themselves.

    calcopiritus ,

    There are many git hooks. One of them checks each commit, but there’s another that triggers on merges.

    cypherpunks ,
    @cypherpunks@lemmy.ml avatar

    At my workplace, we use the string @nocommit to designate code that shouldn’t be checked in

    That approach seems useful but it wouldn’t have prevented the PyPI incident OP links to: the access token was temporarily entered in a .py python source file, but it was not committed to git. The leak was via https://docs.python.org/3/tutorial/modules.html#compiled-python-files which made it into a published docker build.

    OhNoMoreLemmy ,

    Yeah, but a combination of this approach, and adding all compiled file types including .pyc to .gitignore would fix it.

    cypherpunks ,
    @cypherpunks@lemmy.ml avatar

    adding all compiled file types including .pyc to .gitignore would fix it

    But in this case they didn’t accidentally put the token in git; the place where they forgot to put *.pyc was .dockerignore.

    calcopiritus ,

    This is a huge idea. I’m stealing it.

    Not just for credentials, there are many times where I change a setting or whatever and just put “//TODO: remember to set it back to ‘…’ before commiting”. I forget to change it back 99% of the time.

    PlexSheep ,

    This sounds like a really useful solution, how do you implement something like this? Especially with linter integration

    dan ,
    @dan@upvote.au avatar

    I’m not sure, sorry. The source control team at work set it up a long time ago. I don’t know how it works - I’m just a user of it.

    The linter probably just runs git diff | grep @nocommit or similar.

    zqwzzle ,

    Depending on which stack you’re using, you could use danger.systems to automatically fail PRs.

    PlexSheep ,

    PRs? Isn’t the point of @nocommit that something does not get committed, and therefore no credentials are stored in the git repository? Even if the PR does not get merged, the file is still stored as a hit object and can be restored.

    zqwzzle ,

    I read the lint part and my brain forgot about everything else. You could stick the danger call in a pre commit hook though.

    Pickle_Jr , in How I date

    Am I dumb or what’s up with the radio stuff on the left? 😅 Is rust common for some sort of radio programming?

    widw ,

    The image was modified, I think the original said something like “we’re gonna listen to Russian number stations on shortwave radio”

    Sabata11792 ,

    I’m still down.

    send_me_your_mommy_milkers ,
    @send_me_your_mommy_milkers@lemmy.world avatar

    Thats so much better 😭

    rf_ ,

    I think the original text was about ham radio.

    blanketswithsmallpox ,

    And yet it’s still relevant because HAM radio operators are weird like that.

    Ephera ,

    I mean, presumably there’s a microcontroller in this radio. For programming that, your only real mainstream choices are C, C++ and Rust, since you can’t have a language runtime without a filesystem.

    But yeah, it’s neither the case that Rust is overwhelmingly popular for that (C/C++ do stick around still), nor is it the only discipline where Rust shines.

    Areldyb ,

    Check this guy out, doesn’t even have any radio equipment in his IDE

    snooggums , in break fast 🥣 move things 🛒
    @snooggums@midwest.social avatar

    Like all sayings, there is context for moving fast and breaking things.

    The saying means that when creating something new for profit, don’t worry too much about trying to figure out all the details beforehand and figure it out as you go. This will inevitably cause things to break, but being able to quickly fix that when it happens is the same skills needed to create new features as you go.

    The saying does not work with large and complex established systems where breaking things wreak havoc.

    conquer4 ,

    And more likely to overall fail. www.theregister.com/2024/…/agile_failure_rates/

    Soup ,

    It also feels like they chase the “break things” part as if not breaking stuff is a bad thing, and like we should be proud of them for releasing broken and poorly tested updates.

    Move fast, break things, fix the broken things, push update/product whatever. They keep forgetting the third step.

    snooggums ,
    @snooggums@midwest.social avatar

    Like the startups that ‘disrupt’ the established system by ignoring laws and breaking the parts that worked and selling it like an improvement.

    ‘Ride sharing’ (unregulated cabs) was only cheaper because of investor funding allowing them to undercut on pricing, abusing the concept of contract workers, and the companies ignoring laws. That isn’t ‘disruptive’ by being innovative, that is cheating the system.

    Soup ,

    And that’s exactly it. Capitalism rewards having money and how you get it isn’t important. It doesn’t breed technological innovation but it sure as shit pumps out new, fun ways to spew propoganda and avoid laws! And oh boy is paying employees well not even close to a metric by which to measure a successful company.

    It’s the least people clever in the room having the volume to make sure that no one smarter than them can speak and then claiming they’re geniuses when only their idea gets through.

    JohnSmith ,

    I think there is another aspect that is important: limit the blast radius. Shit inevitably happens when you create something new and complex, and when it does, you’d rather minimise the impact where possible.

    CanadaPlus ,

    What, you mean I can’t just read rich guy memoirs and blindly apply the platitude under each chapter heading? /s

    MajorHavoc ,

    It works fine for anyone with the foresight to be born into an ultra wealthy family.

    CanadaPlus , (edited )

    Or at least a sorta-wealthy family, and the further “foresight” to be in the exact right place at the right time.

    That’s the background of most of the Western ultra-rich, just as a consequence of there being vastly more sorta-wealthy families than already ultra-rich ones. Some of them are bound to stumble into situations that add a digit or two to their net worth. For an example, Elon Musk is notable for being tangentially involved in a huge success like three times, despite being a well-known moron.

    My favourite introduction to the mathematical modeling of how inequality happens.

    jaybone , in Hot Potato License

    Way to discriminate against future people on Mars.

    todd_bonzalez ,
    @todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee avatar

    The Musk followers? Good.

    invertedspear , in New language

    One project I worked on had 10 different languages. That was rough. But even your basic full stack web application is usually 5 languages: SQL, a backend language, HTML, CSS and JS. Usually some wheel reinventing frameworks thrown in for good measure. 5 languages is light these days.

    agressivelyPassive ,

    And don’t forget the CI “language” plus a bunch of bash scripts, Helm, Kubernetes, etc.

    mctoasterson ,

    Probably a bunch of hacked together Python to copy stuff between fileshares. Bonus points if it runs with a .bat file and a Windows scheduled task.

    humbletightband ,

    Without Ansible or Terraform? What about SQL specific for each rdbms?

    CodeMonkey ,

    I work in Java, Golang, Python, with Helm, CircleCI, bash scripts, Makefiles, Terraform, and Terragrunt for testing and deployment. There are other teams handling the C++ and SQL (plus whatever dark magic QA uses).

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