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programmer_humor

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ZILtoid1991 , in Who is this JSON guy?

I want to create a JSON parser called JSON-X.

andioop , in Who is this JSON guy?

oh god I always read JSON like “J” + “son”, “son” being like a Spanish word for “to be”. Or “J” + “sewn”. I can’t believe I’ve never read it like the human name “Jason”.

mynamesnotrick , in It's time to mentally prepare yourselves for this

No different than any other project the PM/PO team cooks up. Tons of work for no user base.

NocturnalMorning ,

Not true, space agencies will use it… once.

pupbiru ,

until they lose a multi billion dollar mission because of conversion errors

NocturnalMorning ,

It’s pretty much a requirement now to use the metric system for everything.

trolololol ,

Ok so now they must split it all into 10 timezones? 😂

amanaftermidnight ,

Imagine if Americans use a different unit system for time 😱

MintyFresh ,

Unix is for commies. We’ll run our clocks the way Britain ran its coinage! 32 shillings to the third hour, four hours in a pound, 4.3 in a guinea. And of course 10 shekels in a pound, 7 to the guinea. To account for relativity of course.

Show me one flaw. Freedom time bitches!

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Why… why is the world like this?

RustyShackleford ,

Our sorrow, despondency, and terror are their sustenance.

SlopppyEngineer ,

Because the world is seen and directed by layers upon layers of abstractions that get divorced from reality but do give monetary benefits when manipulated in some way.

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Sigh… too true.

img

PyroNeurosis ,

I will use moontime. Anybody wants to schedule bullshit meetings will have to commit to figuring out when actually works for them.

Sheltac , in Why is it so hard finding up-to-date docs and guides?

Because things keep changing and no one ever updates any docs or guides.

BlueKey OP ,
@BlueKey@kbin.social avatar

It would be nice to have a kind of central hub where all the lastest resources are listed.
I could be updated by the community.

Well... one can dream.

narc0tic_bird ,

If it’s updated by the community, it’s probably also created by the community. Instead of dreaming, why not create it?

Sheltac ,

Be the change you want to see in the world 🌈

GammaGames ,

Stack Overflow tried that with their documentation project

NerdyPopRocks ,

Someone should build a system that scrapes all open source repositories and uses an LLM to generate up to date documentation, and puts it in one big searchable place

2ez ,

If using docstrings/docblocks to generate SDK documentation, adding something like an OPA policy to validate their existence and semantic structure could help with coverage. Then we have the issue of accuracy, and that needs humans or AI to weigh in. I have a feeling test-driven development would make this process smoother.

You could also add git hooks to facilitate accountability / run the policies.

Mikina , in Why is it so hard finding up-to-date docs and guides?

My favorite story about docs is when I tried implementing multithreaded Raycast in Unity.

I needed it to hit multiple targets per ray. Should be pretty easy, after all - there is this parameter right in the constructor:

maxHits: The maximum number of Colliders the ray can hit.

And this is how you use it, straight from the docs:

The result for a command at index N in the command buffer will be stored at index N * maxHits in the results buffer.

If maxHits is larger than the actual number of results for the command the result buffer will contain some invalid results which did not hit anything. The first invalid result is identified by the collider being null. The second and later invalid results are not written to by the raycast command so their colliders are not guaranteed to be null. When iterating over the results the loop should stop when the first invalid result is found.

Well, no. It’s not working like that. I was always getting just a single hit, but sometimes, I received two or more hits. After a few days of debugging, I have found a typo in bubblesort, which caused the multiple hits, and I was in fact getting only one hit every time.

Strange, must be a bug then. And then I found it. A bug report from 3 years ago. But it was closed as solved. And the resolution?

I have some news about the issue where RaycastCommand will only return a maximum of 1 hit regardless what you set maxHits to.

According to our developers, each individual raycast in a batch only does a Raycast single in PhysX which will only return the first hit, and not multiple hits if the ray passes through several objects which would require a different raycast function. The documentation simply doesn’t explain this very well.

The docs above are from 2021. Three years after this. The fuck “doesn’t simply explain it very well”? It literally explains it pretty damn well.

But looks like they’ve finally changed the docs for 2022+ at least, it did happen few years ago.

Psaldorn ,
@Psaldorn@lemmy.world avatar

Ah, reminds me trying to implement multiplayer just as there was some churn regarding unet/llapi/hlapi and every update something would break.

I just gave up. Add it to the failed projects list.

Mikina ,

We’ve once received an investor offer from a major studio for our game we are making since college in our free time, but the catch was that they wanted us to implement online multiplayer into a coop-only top-down shooter we’ve been actively making in our free time for the past 4 years at that point.

We ultimately rejected the offer, even though we managed to get a prototype working. MP is such a pain to implement in the first place, and adding it into an almost finished game is near impossible. But, if you ever resume the project you’ve scratched due to unet being awfull, I highly recommend checking out Mirror. It’s free, open-source and has an amazing Discord community - every time I had an issue or needed help with something, there was someone willing to help me there.

devfuuu , in The IT experience?

Manga: “Because I, the True Saint, Was Banished, That Country Is Done For!”

cupcakezealot , in Who is this JSON guy?
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

shh you’re not allowed to comment on him

UnrepententProcrastinator , in Who is this JSON guy?

His kills are serialized.

Miaou , in The IT experience?

My current company’s IT team does not know what CAMM RAM is, does not recognise an nvme ssd inside a laptop, and still talk to us like we’re idiots. I hope you guys here are better than them!

lqdrchrd ,

The worst. Our IT is outsourced to some bottom-of-the-barrel garbage company, and they both have no idea what they are doing and work in a different timezone, so you have to wait a working day for responses like ‘did you try turning it off and on again?’. Everyone just emails the head of IT with their issues, which defeats the whole point of the system.

Ephera ,

Same. At some point, I learned that the bottom-of-the-barrel garbage company, that does our IT support, is apparently one of the most successful IT support companies on the planet.

I guess, the way to get there, is to not actually provide IT support. You just have to get paid for it.

lightnsfw ,

Yea, hire a bunch of underpaid undertrained peons to take support calls from the rest of your underpaid untrained peons. If an exec has a problem they get to bypass the helpdesk and go straight to someone that knows what they’re doing so they never see how bad things are. $$$

Linkerbaan ,
@Linkerbaan@lemmy.world avatar

CAMM RAM is nowhere near mainstream yet so that’s understandable. NVME should be known though.

Don’t forget to praise them every day for your company not spontaneously combusting.

lud ,

Yeah, its specification was finalised only 6 months ago.

ryannathans ,

I don’t even think there’s a laptop that uses it yet

akakunai ,

Hell, even Dell who came up with the standard chose to switch to soldered memory on the brand new XPS laptops instead of using their own CAMM standard ^because ^money.

ryannathans ,

If they just installed decent memory from factory you wouldn’t need swappable memory modules

Linkerbaan , (edited )
@Linkerbaan@lemmy.world avatar

When something isn’t in mass production yet it costs a ton extra to make so I’m going to do a hot take and give Dell a pass.

Also soldering remains unbeatable when it comes to making the thinnest and lightest device possible.

Miaou ,

My laptop and I are very real! At least my laptop, from last year (a dell as someone mentioned). I even got to know how you screw one in and out since my IT basically told me to go fuck myself when I had to upgrade my laptop.

Miaou ,

Oh but it did burn down too! Turns out that installing Microsoft product on everything does not protect you from cyber attacks (rather the opposite).

But now I’m protected from the very dangerous UDP packets the machines we sell send, much safer.

YIj54yALOJxEsY20eU , in "I want to live forever in AI"

I’ve had this thought and felt it was so profound I should write a short story about it. Now I see this meme and I feel dumb.

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

I saw a great comic about it once, one sec

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Edit: more focused on teleportation, but a lot of the same idea. Here existentialcomics.com/comic/1

ProgrammingSocks ,

This could’ve sent me into an existential crisis if I hadn’t already had several where I thought the exact same things ;)

I will say, the point about murdering the person other people have in their minds of you is certainly an interesting one.

Hupf , in 93% of Paint Splatters are Valid Perl Programs | Colin McMillen
0x0 , in The IT experience?

I’d say that’s a day in the life of a sysadmin, no?

Potatos_are_not_friends , in The IT experience?

In 2017, I jumped ship to a new job as they were transitioning to cloud server everything. The genius CTO (who was the owners wife) pushed for it, quoting they can save a lot of money.

Then she fired half the IT staff.

Two years later and a few major security hacks/ransomware events, they had to hire even more IT folks to unfuck their cloud setup.

luciferofastora ,

Two years
A few major events

My god, they must’ve really fucked up their shit

Ephera ,

Not a difficult task to not secure a cloud setup. And if it’s publicly reachable, you will quickly find yourself involuntarily participating in an automated vulnerability scan.

LostXOR ,

It's great, just give your cloud servers public IPs and you get tons of completely free vulnerability scans! This life hack has saved me tens of thousands of dollars in pentesting.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Ah actually that’s a typo. I meant to say “A few years…” implying around 2020-2021. Sorry about that.

JJROKCZ ,

Not really, it’s really amazing how fast things to go shit if you just stop patching or don’t follow best practices

Naz ,

I had something like this happen at a corp I once worked at. The CTO said they were going to outsource their entire datacenter and support staff to India.

I literally laughed in his face and obviously, got fired (always have 6-8 months of salary as an emergency fund, ahem-).

I won’t name the company but when half the Internet went down and a few major services? Yeah, it was that asshat driving and running between the datacenters realizing people in Bangladesh can’t do shit for you physically.

It’s like that graph: “Say we want to fuck around at a level 8, we follow this axis, and we’re going to find out at around a level 7 or 8”

dudinax ,

I visited a company that outsourced its IT to India. We were delayed 24 hours because the guy who could whitelist our computer on their network was asleep. It was the middle of the night where he lived.

0x0 ,

Digital karma.

Semi_Hemi_Demigod , in The IT experience?
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

When things go right: “WHAT ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR?!?”

When things go wrong: “WHAT ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR?!?”

jballs ,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

The secret to a healthy career in IT is to let things break just a little every once in a while. Nothing so bad as to cause serious problems. But just enough to remind people that you exist and their world would come crumbling down without you.

Unforeseen ,

Especially if its a system that you have told management needs to be replaced but they aren’t interested in spending the money…

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/bd249c7a-bee5-47e0-96b5-9cbcadce59e7.jpeg

whotookkarl ,
@whotookkarl@lemmy.world avatar

Where I’m from we call that Laissez-faire IT

Kalkaline ,
@Kalkaline@leminal.space avatar

Acting like the user won’t just break things for you, welcome to IT, you must be new.

Anticorp ,

I get really fucking tired of justifying work. Like, I have delivered every single project I’ve ever been given ahead of schedule. But every time a new project comes up, higher level managers want all these update meetings to check up on the status, discuss risk factors that might prevent it from being delivered, and a bunch of other bullshit. You’re the risk factor, motherfucker, you and your meetings. Get the fuck out of my way and I’ll deliver it ahead of schedule just like literally every other project I’ve ever been in charge of. Quit feeling that you need to be involved! You don’t. You’re a road block that provides no value. Ugh!

jkrtn ,

Big mood. It is fucking exhausting explaining basic tech concepts to stakeholders over and over.

HappycamperNZ ,

If you’re ignoring all the risk factors, got no contingency plans or measurements against projected time and budget you have delivered everything on time and budget by luck.

If you already have those, those meetings should absolutely be a 30 min weekend meeting to check on status and what else you may need to keep delivering.

Anticorp ,

I know they should be 30 minutes per week. But they’re not, and that’s the frustration. A weekend meeting though? I have a feeling that we may perceive work-life balance differently.

HappycamperNZ ,

Sorry, that was weekly. Weekend can fuck off if you’re on schedule.

SkyezOpen ,

And also install Adobe reader.

xmunk , in 93% of Paint Splatters are Valid Perl Programs

Aka our OCR software is insanely inaccurate.

It’s interesting that mapping random noise to characters via OCR generally produces valid perl… but I always hated how they phrased the title of this experiment since it’s obviously bullshit. Essentially, a good interesting experiment made less interesting by a sensationalist title.

SpaceNoodle ,

It’s whimsical, Leland.

xmunk ,

Whimsical is awesome - but be upfront about what’s going on. It’s interesting enough without an overly sensational title.

mox OP ,

I think it’s okay to relax a little when we’re just having a bit of fun.

BatmanAoD ,

Perl programs are, by definition, text. So “paint splatters are valid Perl” implies that there’s a mapping from paint splatters to text.

Do you have a suggested mapping of paint splatters to text that would be more “accurate” than OCR? And do you really think it would result in fewer valid Perl programs?

firelizzard ,
@firelizzard@programming.dev avatar

“Feeding garbage to OCR” is a really boring way of generating text. I was assuming it would be something more interesting, like creating a symbolic representation of the splatters and generating text from that. Using OCR is basically piping /dev/urandom to perl and seeing what happens. The fact that they’re valid perl programs is worth a laugh but the generation method is totally uninteresting.

BatmanAoD ,

I agree that a symbolic representation of the splatters would probably be more interesting. The whole point is that random character sequences are often valid Perl, though, so changing the generation method wouldn’t change that aspect.

firelizzard ,
@firelizzard@programming.dev avatar

The whole point is that random character sequences are often valid Perl

When I read the headline I also assumed “valid Perl program” meant it did something interesting. I was expecting to read an article about an interesting image to text conversion process that produced non-trivial Perl programs.

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