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FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

They say every, but no one’s checked mine yet.

zout ,

Not even in the Mayo clinic?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

They stayed above the waist.

zout ,

Fair enough, how are you doing now? Any word out from them yet?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

We’re looking into intensive therapy programs at the moment. Hopefully we’ll find something by the end of the week, but we had to wait until my daughter’s school year was over.

zout ,

For what it's worth, I hope they find something to get you well again.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks, me too!

dditty ,

Ah man, sorry to hear you are in the midst of a health issue Flying Squid! Wishing you a full recovery. Lemmy wouldn’t be the same without you!

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you!

Pretzilla ,

They’re calling but Dr. Ham on 3 so hold the Mayo

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

You are a heavy sleeper.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Is it too much to ask for them to wait until I’m awake until they play with my balls?

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

Prude

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I just don’t see what I get out of it. Other than microplastics in my balls.

metaStatic ,

microplastics are their own reward

alquicksilver ,
@alquicksilver@lemmy.world avatar

How do you think they get the microplastics in your balls in the first place? Can’t have you knowing.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

If I knew, I might have let them put some extra in for good luck!

moody ,

They said “every testicle in study.”

Yours were not in the study.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Can you prove it?

dodgy_bagel ,

yes.

Empricorn ,

Fine. Please urinate into a coffee mug. Someone will be by soon to collect the sample…

dubyakay ,

Pee is stored in the balls.

Chivera ,

As far as you know.

GJdan , (edited )

Every tested testi. Testis of non-testee testi’d are not tested.

Murvel ,

Microplastics, son! 💪

FIST_FILLET ,

ingredients, recipe for

I_Miss_Daniel ,

Is that how polyester girls are created?

foofiepie ,

Barbie girls man. It was right there for the taking.

I_Miss_Daniel ,

They’re both OK tracks.

Polyester girl is a bit more adult oriented compared to barbie girl.

foofiepie ,

My bad I had no idea that was a song.

I_Miss_Daniel ,

No worries at all :)

Unaware of the reference, your thought makes perfect sense.

Thanks for being a positive netizen!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BxVBziFvtU

RagingRobot ,

If they looked all colorful like confetti when it came out like in the pic I might be ok with it lol

Tronn4 ,

I want the optional rainbow cum output too. Tired of Factory White

billiam0202 ,

Wait, that’s not how gay men jizz?

That’s… disappointing.

Blackmist ,

I’d prefer it to be not quite as spiky though.

spirinolas ,

Oh yeah? Well, study thi…oh…

DemBoSain ,
@DemBoSain@midwest.social avatar

Wait. Both left and right?

Shardikprime ,

Even the center one?

venusaur ,
@venusaur@lemmy.world avatar

Where’s a good place to buy organic testicles then?

variants ,

I heard the rocky mountains are good at least once you get past all the oysters

venusaur ,
@venusaur@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks! I’ll have to see if there’s a distributor in my area.

GravelPieceOfSword ,

Balls of plastic. Descended from balls of steel 💪

HootinNHollerin ,

They just don’t make em like they used to

snownyte ,
@snownyte@kbin.social avatar

Scientists say discovery may be linked to decades-long decline in sperm counts in men around the world

This is no issue to me, as someone who doesn't prioritize having sex and has no intent to bring children into this awful world.

grrgyle ,

Yeah same, but I worry about all the other affects like cancers, other mutations, some third horrible thing…

nomous ,

Yeah I have no doubt all kinds of weird cancers and degenerative diseases are going to be rampant in 50 or so years.

Plastics breaking down and leeching into everything is going to make climate change look like leaded gas/paint.

Psychodelic ,

I wish I had your self-confidence! It would maybe help me get laid 😵

return2ozma ,
@return2ozma@lemmy.world avatar

I’m gay and I don’t want to have kids. This world is horrific.

morphballganon ,

It’s an issue if it accelerates the removal of abortion rights. Old crotchety white men afraid they’ll stop having heirs

stoly ,

They will die and things will go back to normal.

bitwolf ,

Its all in the way we wrap it, all in the way we wrap it

LemmyKnowsBest ,

Are they all speckled & colorful like in that thumbnail stock photo?

morphballganon ,

The stock photo is of plastic pieces that are too big to be considered microplastics

The microplastics are probably mostly colorless/white

Albbi ,

Aww, was kinda hoping that at least there’d be a party in my balls.

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

Rub a lil icy hot on em

variants ,

Just sound in some glitter

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

Excellent idea, my fellow intellectual! furiously destroys my own urethra with a rusty deck screw caked with shiny plastic shards

akakunai ,

Y’know nobody forced you to write this.

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

My brain did.

LemmyKnowsBest ,

If your idea of a good time involves masochistic discomfort, ok

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

This is just joshin’ around, pal

LemmyKnowsBest ,

Me joshin’ around too, buddy

Rayspekt ,

So can we call them plasticles now?

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

When they’re made of plastic, they’re called nuticles.

aeronmelon ,

These were the testicles, here are the resulticles.

Nikki ,
@Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

guess i gotta take them off then

ArmoredThirteen ,

I’m gettin mine removed in 3 weeks

Nikki ,
@Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

hell yea rid yourself of those micro plastics

cmbabul ,

Good for you! I still have mine, but they were disconnected a few years back, much happier with them now and I hope you will be too

Zacryon ,

If you can’t spread your sperm, spread awareness about microplastics.

pantyhosewimp ,

What I love about this is the canceling out of the unholy intersection of ideas in the Republican Party of forced birth and environmental deregulation.

All the evil billionaires need a plethora of desperate people so the veil of the Christian sanctity of life thing gets trotted out and behind the scenes they want maximum profit so they tear down any limit or mitigation of the collateral damage their industries cause, and wouldn’t you know it: turns out you can’t have both things. Poetic justice, really. Almost a valid argument for the existence of an Illuvitar like being.

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