There have been multiple accounts created with the sole purpose of posting advertisement posts or replies containing unsolicited advertising.

Accounts which solely post advertisements, or persistently post them may be terminated.

lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

ArtificialLink , in I have the POWER!
xx3rawr , in fat time

Only 18 calories per teaspoon and it’s all energy

Yeah, that’s what calories are measuring…

FiskFisk33 ,

the false implication being that calories of energy are somehow better than “calories of fat”. Though since they don’t say it out loud they can mislead people without technically lying.

assassinatedbyCIA , in Natural selection

Make peter parker idris elba and mile morales ryan gosling.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

They can always say it’s yet another universe.

saltesc ,

I’m still catching up on who this Miles Morales person is. I’m like Jaden Smith’s face right now and it sucks because I want to punch myself so hard.

xX_fnord_Xx ,

Simply punch Jaden Smith when you have this urge.

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

In the past year, I saw Idris Elba on Thor: Love & Thunder, then Suicide Squad, and then in freaking Sonic 2 playing Knuckles.

That man can play any role I don’t care I’m on board.

1984 ,
@1984@lemmy.today avatar

Because he is the same in all movies. :)

Masamune ,

Exactly…awesome!

humorlessrepost , in 2.5 hrs of silence occasionally broken by a falling metal pipe

Some people fall asleep to rain sounds.

My neighbor with unsecured wifi and Sonos will fall asleep to this tonight.

Tar_alcaran ,

Many times, even

yesman , in If only there was a GOOD fish with a gun to save them!

Ooooh, America bad, they’re shooting their obese healthcare again.

Jokes on you, he’s not shooting the fish, he’s shooting the woke rainbow. Get it straight.

alquicksilver ,
@alquicksilver@lemmy.world avatar

And if some of the fish happen to get killed in the process, that’s just a bonus.

XEAL ,

I’ve seen “joke’s on you” written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

lugal ,

Jokes on you, there ain’t no apostrophe

RaoulDook ,

Jokes on you, a plural amount of them, must be what they mean. Where are the rest of the jokes motherfuckers!?

nxdefiant ,

Perhaps he is addressing the jokes directly.

brbposting ,

That was a[n unspecified] quantity of jokes.

Like 5, 6… maybe 7!… jokes on you.

CileTheSane ,
@CileTheSane@lemmy.ca avatar

I’ve seen “joke’s on you” written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

American education system.

dudinax , in Love is blind

“Why did you marry someone so old?” “He’s 27”

rsuri , (edited ) in Weather app asking for permission to manage calls

I’ve done this on a simple timer app I developed.

Why? Because I want the timer to stop automatically during a phone call. To do this I need to request READ_PHONE_STATE (which bafflingly tells the user the permission is to “make and manage phone calls”). Unfortunately, there’s no way to alter the permission request to tell the user (at least in Android) why you want the permission. They really need to make the permissions more granular and provide some way for devs to communicate what the permission is for.

rob_t_firefly ,
@rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world avatar

This is why, on the occasion of necessary permissions not being set, a lot of apps nowadays have a popup which tells the user something like “you need to grant permission for X because it actually lets this app do legitimate thing Y” like you just told us, with a button to click over to do the permissions grab and trigger the OS popup.

brbposting ,
AI_toothbrush , in I'm not picky...

Who doesnt love some salty nuts

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

I prefer chefs famous salty chocolate balls

0x4E4F OP ,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

That ain’t too bad as well.

Pirky ,
@Pirky@lemmy.world avatar

How about Schweddy Balls?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8

Snowpix ,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Nobody likes roasted nuts, I know that much.

NikkiDimes ,

Is it a good idea to microwave this?

Snowpix ,
@Snowpix@lemmy.ca avatar

Let’s find out!

Vengefu1Tuna , in Here as well

Oh my god, Linux makes you fat.

Kalkaline ,
@Kalkaline@leminal.space avatar

Or getting old makes you fat

shasta ,

They did a bad job of getting more young people interested in Linux? Because you’re implying it’s the same people who attended both symposiums.

ivanafterall ,
@ivanafterall@kbin.social avatar

Maybe they got super jacked?

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

Since I like geeky boys, they can come over and get jacked anytime

ChlorineAddict ,

I’m listening…

wreckedcarzz ,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

(James May voice)

Hello.

Hyperreality , in Electrician job

He's wearing rubber flipflops. He'll be fine.

FrasseFisk , in Can't remember the last time I wasn't tired

Translation: 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 19:00, 20:00, 21:00, 22:00, 23:00, 0:00

RTRedreovic ,

Thanks.

danc4498 ,

You mean 0:00mn

TheAuthor_13 , (edited ) in We live in a society

Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.

Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.

567PrimeMover ,
@567PrimeMover@kbin.social avatar

Panera's doing their best! It's hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history

GBU_28 ,

Let them cook

KnightontheSun ,

I’ve heard Panera will be heavily marketing their lemonade in the Mediterranean region later this year. They are shopping the name around, but so far they are calling it:

The Lemonade Crusade: Charge!

Draegur , in hmm rock

our brains run simulations of awful situations all the time as a diagnostic self-test system. The fact that we recoil in revulsion from destructive intrusive thoughts is a sign that we are still at least nominally sane. Those who yearn for peace prepare for war. Likewise, those who care for their loved ones prepare to face terrible events that might befall them.

Swedneck ,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

“why yes indeed brain, it would fucking suck if i jumped off this cliff, thank you for verifying that even if i had no plans of doing so anyways…”

nik9000 ,

That’s why I hate Ferris wheels. Every time.

victron ,
@victron@programming.dev avatar

Now imagine riding one with your wife and TWO CHILDREN.

NEVER. FUCKING. AGAIN.

(Disclaimer: nothing happened, but the fucking horror and constant stress. That’s the kind of shit I have no problem doing by myself or with my wife only.)

fosho ,

I’m the guy who thinks it would be great… for 3 seconds anyway.

maniclucky ,

That rather depends on the height I would think.

pixeltree ,

It would be great for a few seconds and then it wouldn’t matter anymore. Win win

someguy3 , in Let's confuse Americans!

And infuriate Canadians.

Lober ,

Yeah I hate this guy

Wogi ,

Is that Steve? Fuck that guy!

someguy3 ,

Hm. Steve.

Steak ,

Yeah he’s a dick!

BonesOfTheMoon OP ,

OP loves you.

systemglitch , in I feel so sorry for the poor rock man

Has anyone ever tipped a landlord and if so, what drugs were they on?

ObviouslyNotBanana OP ,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

I do every week and the drug I was on was care for the weaker humans in society.

Retrograde ,
@Retrograde@lemmy.world avatar

Nice that’ll show em lol

AngryCommieKender ,

I never tipped a landlord, but as a joke I paid my rent in Sacajawea Dollars so as to give him a “bag of gold.” At first he was pissed, but then he asked me to continue. Apparently they turned out to be good tips at the bar.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • [email protected]
  • random
  • lifeLocal
  • goranko
  • All magazines