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Apytele ,

I like thegirlwiththedogs ’ wisdom,“As always, we disarm our opponent before battle.”

FartsWithAnAccent ,
@FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io avatar

The fuck is a "fair fight"?

hydroptic OP ,

No tactical nuclear weapons, cluster bombs, sharp sticks etc. for the monkey with opposable thumbs

Rai ,

Welp my Scorched Earth char is out I guess

Illuminostro ,

Well, that’s just loser talk. ALWAYS nuke from orbit.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Instructions Unclear: Took steroids, turned off brain; locked in never ending combat with cat.

hydroptic OP ,

No the instructions were pretty clear, this is on you. Did you maybe turn off your brain before reading the instructions?

In any case, please send cat pictures.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/645f0258-f708-4b13-a518-5853f7be9d3e.jpeg

I am just a cat climbing toy 😭

hydroptic OP ,

KITTY

CanadianCarl ,

I have been prescribed steroids since I was a kid. That is the benefit of having asthma.

Sotuanduso ,

A housecat can kill a level 1 commoner, you know.

edgemaster72 ,
@edgemaster72@lemmy.world avatar

But it can’t jump (I don’t remember if that ever got errata’d or is being changed in OneD&D)

psud ,

On a crit it can kill a level 1 wizard

lolola ,
@lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

You could take any one of those completely out of context and they’d still be solid.

moistclump ,

I’ve already been living my life on these tenets.

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

Knew a guy who asserted he could easily fight several cats at once and win. I truly hope he finds out one day.

hydroptic OP ,

That’s such a fantastically stupid opinion to have that a dose of reality might do him some good

Gradually_Adjusting , (edited )
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

It was far from his worst. I had to ditch that guy.

Edit: very far, to be clear

hydroptic OP ,

It was far from his worst.

This does not surprise me in the least

UndercoverUlrikHD ,

Any healthy adult human could though. An old friend of mine accidently killed a cat with a single kick while “defending” his cat that was being attacked (I wasn’t there so don’t ask how). He was ~14 years old at the time. At the end of the day, humans are large animals, most of just don’t want to hurt other creatures so we restrain ourselves.

IMongoose ,

Completely agree. The textbook is talking about fighting a cat to help it, not destroy it. You would get bit for sure but could easily win.

ryannathans ,

Now how big could the cat get before it is a fair 1v1

m_f ,

Somewhere smaller than a tiger, that would win 100% of the time. I’d guess 30 lbs is where things start to get serious

MNByChoice ,

Humans have fought off hungry cougars. Sadly, not all humans have.

Couldbealeotard ,
@Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world avatar

But are we talking a fight before one side backs down? Or a fight to the death?

psud ,

I don’t think cats back down unless they can run away

MNByChoice ,

Actual fights between humans and cougars. The cougars get killed by other humans if they “win”. The cougar runs away if the human wins.

UndercoverUlrikHD ,

Sadly, not all humans have. You still talking about cats?

Illuminostro ,

A woman near my hometown strangled a rabid bobcat that came after her daughter with her bare hands. Multiple broken fingers, major lacerations, but she got him. Barely. Bobcats are 2 to 3 times the size of a housecat, for those who don’t know.

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

I said several, but as the memory returns I’m recalling he might have claimed as much as twenty at once.

MindTraveller ,

Yeah we’re really World Of Cardboarding it up at all times. You know the stereotypes about crackheads being dangerous in a fight? That capacity is inside us at all times.

Aggravationstation ,

Don’t fight a cat everyday

hydroptic OP ,

Preferably don’t fight a cat any day

OpenStars ,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

Fight a cat, steal its drugs, repeat when you run out, got it!

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