Try to take the time to care for your mental and emotional health when you need to, then, instead of stewing for years and years. I made the mistake of rolling with it, turned 35, and I’m lucky to still be here at 40.
Still struggling. Wish I’d spoken with someone years ago.
Yeah seconding that. Try to find a way to deal with your monsters. Forgiveness or accepting that you won’t get justice, whatever. But don’t drink poison thinking the other guy will hurt. We all need to learn to heal, the process takes s long time. The earlier you start the better.
I don’t know if this goes for all guys. Your balls will kinda drop again at some stage. If you have a desk job you could end up sitting on them for a while before realising what’s happened. Adjust the way you sit, what you wear down there.
Start saving for retirement now. You can make literally millions by putting away 10% of your income early on. Do it automatically so you never even notice the money gone.
If you are worried about making the wrong choice and your company doesn’t have a 401k, open an IRA somewhere (Fidelity if you need someone to make the decision for you) and pick a date targeted fund. Set up auto deposit. Never look at the balance.
You can always make it better later but for now the best thing to do is start. Don’t let analysis paralysis get in the way.
Some companies in the US have a deal to where they match on 401k. One such organization puts in 5% for your 2%. Two percent is low enough it wouldn’t be a hit to almost any cash in your pocket given that the money is taken out pre tax.
Question: If I had money saved in a 401k or Roth IRA, what if I died before I retired? What would happen to the money? Would it go back to the government or to a close relative?
I don’t want to come off as insensitive, so I’ll try to phrase things carefully.
If you have even the slightest spare money per pay period, like $30, and a 401k or 403b is offered to you, you really need to do it.
That money comes out of your check before taxes, so you will be investing more money than what actually comes out of your check. By deduction 6% of a $15/hr full time job, you’re putting in $36, but your paycheck will only go down about $30-free money!
Many places will match you some, say half of that first 6%, so now you’re saving $54 while only being out $30. You’ve almost doubled your money in one week!
Come tax time, you’ve saved $1872, and you’ve been given a free $936. It doesn’t stop there though, because now you only are paying income tax on $29,328 instead of $31,200. If you get a tax rebate now, you will get even more back!
So now you’re saving $2808 a year at age 20. Let’s put that in one mutual fund, a SP500 index fund. Over the last 10 years, that has returned 12‰, but let’s be conservative and call it 10. If you never make a cent more per hour, by age 65, you will have saved $84,000 and your job has chipped in $42,000, over a year’s pay! But with that 10% compound interest, you have $2,000,000! You are a multi-millionaire for $30/wk!
No, I understand what he’s trying to say. The point is: doing what he recommends requires having money to save up in the first place, and for a big portion of people in their 20s that’s not the case.
I tend to disagree on that one. Random acts of kindness/selflessness to people, even complete strangers, can bring bonus satisfaction to your life (and sometimes will be paid back). Make it a habit to give to people, when you have the chance, especially if it is low effort.
If you have people around you that just constantly leech off of you, then I agree: don’t let yourself be sucked dry.
I was more referring to your final statement. Those who take and take and never give back to use you with little regard for your own happiness or safety.
If you’re working in the attic, under the house, around dirt/dust/debris wear a mask/respirator. It’s so nice to be able to take deep breaths without coughing later in life (and outclass your peers in the stamina department) 👍
Pro tip: Even though they’re bigger and bulkier respirators are much more comfy than masks.
It’s easy to believe you’re invincible in your twenties. Or “later me can deal with it.”. As that later version of me, I’m not a huge fan of that earlier version in a lot of ways. It’s fine, I’m who I am for what I went through, and I’m righting the ship. But the more cans you kick down the road, the more you have to deal with later and the harder they are to deal with. Physically, mentally, financially. It’s ok to try to live life freely, but definitely be aware of this and consider kicking one less can every chance you get.
So much this… Despite trying to drive defensively I have been involved in two major car accidents. The first one I walked away from, but the second one put me on Flight for Life. Despite the accident itself being pretty bad, the only physical issue was a broken leg that took a couple years to heal properly. However the REAL issue took longer to realize – something from that accident has caused me to have continued sleep issues since then. I’ll be on medications the rest of my life probably, and even then I still have trouble getting restful sleep if I’ve been physically active.
Yeah it’s easy to feel invincible when you’re young, and your body can heal from a lot, but just remember that those things can also fuck up your shit in ways you might not realize until years later. Things you take for granted now (like sleep) can really screw up your enjoyment of life when they don’t work right.