If you want kids, don’t put it off for too long. I waited till my late 30s because I was never ready. Here’s the thing you will never feel completely ready. As long as your life is basically stable (job, housing, and no serious issues) you will be okay.
Kids are hard but super rewarding. If you have them young then you’ll get to see them as adults in your 40s. By the time my kids are adults I’ll be pushing 60 and hoping that I live long enough to meet a grandchild.
People have successfully (shades of grey here I know) been having kids for a long time. You’ll never feel “ready” but rest assured you’ll figure it out.
My partner played lots of outdoor sport in his youth so he has some skin damage but from his mid 20s when I met him I encouraged proper sun safe behaviours and to moisturise. We live in Australia for Christ sake, this sun is not fucking around.
He’s got mates of all ages but some of the blokes in their late 20s seem to think looking after their skin is a feminine trait and they play outdoor sports. When he’s been out with these guys, people think he’s the youngest despite being over 10 years their senior.
It’s so silly. Put some sunblock on and moisturize. It’s not that hard.
University isn’t intended to get A grades, university it’s for you to make connections with other people. A grades are good but a good business partner can save you life.
Also regarding university figure out your reasons for studying whatever it is you’re going to study before going into massive debt for it. Too many people my age went to university a bit aimlessly because going to university after high school is what was supposed to happen. Then they spend the next decade or two kicking themselves about their debt and how they were naive about what they studied.
Now days you can get your college courses paid for by your employer if you have a good one. A “foot in the door” full time job might get you a free Masters or better depending on who you work for and their benefits. Many companies will reimburse your college degree while you work for them. Be picky about who you work for.
This hit me like a truck. I lost my father at the beginning of the month due to some tragedy that occurred.
We weren’t on speaking terms (a decision I made), but I’d always planned to one day see if I could turn things around, which will never happen now. Never in a million years would I ever have expected it to come down to this.
Mine is modest; but practice being mindful of your emotional reactions.
If something upsets you, interrogate why, and whether your reaction will help. 90% of the time it won’t, so learn to appreciate that you are upset, but don’t let it control you. Because if you don’t you’re going to start seeing the world through incredibly negative eyes.
For example, I used to be a nightmare behind the wheel, always getting angry with shitty drivers and red lights. But I began trying to catch those thoughts, and asked myself whether they would stop other drivers being shitty, or whether it would stop me getting caught at red lights. Would I still be angry in ten minutes? The answer is almost always no, so to expend that energy feels like a waste of time to me now.
Sure, I still get pissy, but I don’t sit with it for longer than I need to. You wouldn’t sit in acid, so why sit in anger?
Research your professional value and have the courage to go after it if you are not being paid what you are worth.
I worked 17 years for the same company. I was promoted 4 times during those years and received a few extra pay increases along the way, but I was underpaid as soon as I took the first promotion and the gap increased with each additional promotion. I probably walked away from more than $100k in lifetime earnings, plus interest, by sticking with the company.
I should have changed companies at least once and probably twice. You don’t have to be on a promotion path to run into this. It could be you were underpaid on day 1, but you needed the job or you didn’t have experience. That’s fine, but once you have the experience and have proven yourself, find out what the market rate is for your role and ask for it, be ready to show your research. If you don’t get it, start applying for other jobs.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your peers about salary. If you are making less, you know there is a gap you can go after (just don’t name your coworker when you ask for more, do market research and make it impersonal/just business). If you are making more, pass this advice on to your coworker.
If you are being paid fairly for the work you are doing, but know you can do more, start looking into what it takes to make a move. For example, you might be the best fast food or retail worker the world has ever had, but the job only pays so much. What else might you be good at? You could look for training in a trade or try to find an entry level role in a company that has a wider set of tasks available that offers a growth path.
I agree with a lot of the comments here about saving and investing and keeping expenses down, but growing your earnings is typically easier than shrinking your rent. It still isn’t easy though, especially if you need to relocate to earn more.
Don’t let others control your life. If someone is only making you hurt, cut them off clean.
This especially is for blood relations! Only scared old people say that shit about obeying your elders! If your family or immediate “friends” only use or abuse, get out fast!
There’s always a place and tribe for you, don’t let assholes dictate who you are or “should be”.
It took 30 years and most of my physical health to learn that one! Injured spine, nerve damage, financial issues … All from the group I grew up around being hideously toxic.
I’ve been free of them for about 5 years now and am finally healing, both physically where I can and mentally. Financially too, just slower.
I now have loving girlfriends, an amazing and healthy daughter, and I’ve been able to start reconnecting with the people that really clicked with me but were forced away by my family and their friends for being too different from them. I barely got a year and a half with my best friend I’d list touch with before he suddenly was diagnosed with and died from pancreatic cancer.
Don’t waste your time on people who drain you with nothing to return! You and the people who improve you don’t have the time and energy to spare!