Do all the cool physical things you want to do now, like mountain climbing, martial arts, skiing whatever. You can still do all of that at 40 but it’s harder to find time and you’re much more injury prone.
It’s easy to believe you’re invincible in your twenties. Or “later me can deal with it.”. As that later version of me, I’m not a huge fan of that earlier version in a lot of ways. It’s fine, I’m who I am for what I went through, and I’m righting the ship. But the more cans you kick down the road, the more you have to deal with later and the harder they are to deal with. Physically, mentally, financially. It’s ok to try to live life freely, but definitely be aware of this and consider kicking one less can every chance you get.
So much this… Despite trying to drive defensively I have been involved in two major car accidents. The first one I walked away from, but the second one put me on Flight for Life. Despite the accident itself being pretty bad, the only physical issue was a broken leg that took a couple years to heal properly. However the REAL issue took longer to realize – something from that accident has caused me to have continued sleep issues since then. I’ll be on medications the rest of my life probably, and even then I still have trouble getting restful sleep if I’ve been physically active.
Yeah it’s easy to feel invincible when you’re young, and your body can heal from a lot, but just remember that those things can also fuck up your shit in ways you might not realize until years later. Things you take for granted now (like sleep) can really screw up your enjoyment of life when they don’t work right.
It's fairly hard to create one-size-fits-all advice since everyone will be in different parts of their lives in different circumstances.
Less time on the internet and definitely away from the big social media sites does one good. Avoiding the 24/7 news cycle does as well. Instead, read a book for something you want to learn or read fiction for some period of time a day on most days.
I’m 43 and gradually coming around to the fact that as long as my managers aren’t actively talking to me about not doing enough, then I’m doing ok. It’s worked wonders for me being anxious that I’m not doing what’s expected of me.
It’s fine to do the bare minimum as long as you’re not fucking things up for your colleagues. You get paid to cover the minimum of your job description, not to work yourself to death.
I’m surrounded by young lads who think that working themselves to the bone is some kind of flex, or lazy pricks who give the others shit for not working hard enough.
These days I just crack on and do my thing. My manager is happy with my work, and I can sometimes spend a good five hours just scrolling the internet, looking busy.
Fuck I needed this. I am at the point where I am about to talk to a psychiatrist about this because I have such bad anxiety about whether I’m doing okay or not at work.
Edit: Be genuine and honest with people. Be open. You’ll meet the best people this way and have better relationships. You’ll also discover who you shouldn’t waste time with quicker, and you won’t waste theirs.
ITT 40 yesr olds tell you to put 10% of your non-existent savings on retirement funds. Good sdvice tbh but they failed to account for landlords and shit
37, close enough. Invest invest invest. Start a 401K with Acorns or something, I don’t care. Just start putting money away for your retirement yesterday.
If you want kids, don’t put it off for too long. I waited till my late 30s because I was never ready. Here’s the thing you will never feel completely ready. As long as your life is basically stable (job, housing, and no serious issues) you will be okay.
Kids are hard but super rewarding. If you have them young then you’ll get to see them as adults in your 40s. By the time my kids are adults I’ll be pushing 60 and hoping that I live long enough to meet a grandchild.
People have successfully (shades of grey here I know) been having kids for a long time. You’ll never feel “ready” but rest assured you’ll figure it out.
My partner played lots of outdoor sport in his youth so he has some skin damage but from his mid 20s when I met him I encouraged proper sun safe behaviours and to moisturise. We live in Australia for Christ sake, this sun is not fucking around.
He’s got mates of all ages but some of the blokes in their late 20s seem to think looking after their skin is a feminine trait and they play outdoor sports. When he’s been out with these guys, people think he’s the youngest despite being over 10 years their senior.
It’s so silly. Put some sunblock on and moisturize. It’s not that hard.
Mine is modest; but practice being mindful of your emotional reactions.
If something upsets you, interrogate why, and whether your reaction will help. 90% of the time it won’t, so learn to appreciate that you are upset, but don’t let it control you. Because if you don’t you’re going to start seeing the world through incredibly negative eyes.
For example, I used to be a nightmare behind the wheel, always getting angry with shitty drivers and red lights. But I began trying to catch those thoughts, and asked myself whether they would stop other drivers being shitty, or whether it would stop me getting caught at red lights. Would I still be angry in ten minutes? The answer is almost always no, so to expend that energy feels like a waste of time to me now.
Sure, I still get pissy, but I don’t sit with it for longer than I need to. You wouldn’t sit in acid, so why sit in anger?