Kill them with kindness. Be direct and to the point, but make them hate you more because you’re too nice. That way, if they want to talk shit about you, all they can say is that you’re too nice.
As someone else mentioned, if you screwed up, make amends, then the kindness thing.
If you have to interact with them, make it as minimal as possible. Otherwise just blank them out; ignore them, don’t look at them, don’t talk to them, don’t notice them.
For some people, it’s not really an solvable issue and no amount of talking about it will make them like you. Some people are just assholes for various reasons, and it’s best to just minimally interact with them as opposed to trying to understand them. Courage doesn’t necessarily play a factor. Idk, just my 2 cents.
Obviously not the case for everyone, but I’ve been there before in the trying to reach an understanding route, and it doesn’t necessarily work. Some people are just a bit unhinged and it’s best to minimally interact.
Yeah I don’t think what I said applies to 100% of the working population. :) I have one guy at work that I’m also avoiding contact with. He is a sociopath according to all the classic signs. So some common sense is always needed.
You might want to scale that down a little bit. I never borrowed somebody’s tape gun for a minute at work and thought, what a nice coworker I should send him flowers.
Indeed. I should have said “borrow something important”. It needs to be something they care about, or something they know you care a lot about. How you say thanks are examples.
A somewhat cheesy quote that helped me a lot is “you can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, but some people just don’t like peaches”. I used to try way too hard to be likeable and I agonised over people who didn’t like me.
There was an instance of a colleague being rude and unprofessional to me, and under the framework of “they don’t like me and that’s why they’re being unkind”, it put the onus on me to change, which wasn’t reasonable. It should be possible for people to not like each other in a working relationship while still being respectful and productive.
That would be my plan B. Plan A would be turn up my politeness and niceness knobs up for a little while. Maybe they’re going through a rough time and it’s temporary. After a sufficient amount of time to ensure it’s not an anomaly, then go for the direct conversation. It usually pays off to give the other person the benefit of the doubt for a little bit, but not forever. It stopped me from being so reactive.
Avoid them when you can. Clear, minimal, a bit more polite than you would like to be when you can’t. If it’s work related focus on your common goal.
I’d also advise you to take some time to reflect on what makes them dislike you. If you find a lot of people who dislike you for similar reasons you may have to evaluate if you should (and can) change.