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@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

Nonbiner

@[email protected]

Transmasculine, bigender, white-looking biracial, middle-aged Dutch living with 2 cats.

Avatar: roze/pink Helichrysum Bracteatum

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halcionandon , to disability
@halcionandon@disabled.social avatar

This is me:
https://t.co/f1vB5pXoK6

People helping me is most important. I need an & safe place to live most. Please consider.🙏

There’s help links in the article but to summarise:

Crowdfund: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/halcionandon

Also:
People with Australian bank accounts can use https://www.beem.com.au to pay @halcionandon. Fee free & anonymous.

Please & thanks for reading. Help not expected but appreciated.💜


@disability @mutualaid
@mecfs
@chronicillness

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@halcionandon @mutualaid @mecfs @chronicillness @disability

Unbelievable that shelters aren't equipped for the disabled, when they are more at risk from abuse.

Have shared again, hope you get out of this situation.

LehtoriTuomo , to actuallyautistic

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

@actuallyautistic

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

Interesting. I do not see all those details, bc my brain deals with too much sound, wind, feelings, emotions. I have trouble seeing details others point out. What seagull?

My experience is more like a strong feeling while being there and seeing water in front of me.

pinkpenguin , to actuallyautistic
@pinkpenguin@sakurajima.moe avatar

@actuallyautistic

does anybody know a polite and societally acceptable way to phrase

"dear colleagues,
i would love to spend my lunch break with you, but if i do so my brain has to spend 30-50 minutes being a) completely overwhelmed by the amount of social context and b) severely depressed about its inability to participate in any form of group conversation.
if i am lucky this means a whole workday without a proper break, when unlucky this gets me an extra little mini meltdown in the afternoon which then renders me unable to work for several hours / the rest of the day.
love, pinkie"

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@pinkpenguin @actuallyautistic

I'm defintely not the person to phrase allistically, but I would explain where I would be spending my lunch break instead and how that helps me. Then people will not come up to you as much asking why you are there "all alone".

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Watching the same show over-and-over again is one way I regulate the autistic side of my brain. But the ADHD side sure gets bored sometimes.

Do you watch any shows on repeat?

@actuallyautistic

image: @NoNonsenseND

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic I don't, but with the brainfog I experience, I can rewatch a show having both the familiar feeling of it and the new seeming information to keep it interesting. 😊

callunavulgaris , to actuallyautistic
@callunavulgaris@mastodon.scot avatar

@actuallyautistic Can we talk self-diagnosis? The penny dropped for me last year. I'm only mildly autistic but that's enough to have made me wonder my whole life where I go wrong with social things, why others seem to know the rules and I don't, with predictable consequences. Because I am self-diagnosed I feel I can't be open with anyone beyond immediate family, esp work, as I don't have a doctor's note to back it up and I'll be accused of jumping on a bandwagon. Familiar?

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@pewterbaw @jkcheney @callunavulgaris @actuallyautistic That and the ability to mask can make autism seem mild. But masking can be exhausting and alienating for the autistic.

CuriousMagpie , to actuallyautistic
@CuriousMagpie@mastodon.social avatar

A completely free cookbook for the zero spoons crowd.
@actuallyautistic https://traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bastard-cookbook

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@Tarrenvane @CuriousMagpie @actuallyautistic Yes, ramen, rice, pasta.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

It's come to my attention more recently on here that some people are saying, "that's not autism"

This is incorrect and is just different for everyone.

Whatever it is to you, remember that others may have different views from you. Their views or experiences isn’t wrong and neither is yours.

Let autistic people describe their experiences how they see fit, not by how you say they should be because of how it is for you.

Thank you.

@actuallyautistic

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic https://todon.nl/@Nonbiner/111245125394268775

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

I'm autistic, so I guess it's natural that I will never, ever be able to understand exactly when is the correct time to add my point to a group conversation.

Watching the conversation move onto a totally different topic, while a really good point is left unsaid, is a very specific autistic sadness.

@actuallyautistic

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@CynAq @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic

This and also: NDs are often more precise and thorough, thereby often poking holes in NT narratives. Often NTs speak just to impose narratives to improve status and power, and NDs threaten this game.

When this is coupled to the lack of reverence NDs have for the hierarchy (including the binary gender imbalance), NTs try everything to shut NDs down. Often succeeding, bc e.g. interrupting NDs when they already have trouble taking their moment, is easy for NTs.

Also NTs more easily play out other NTs against NDs. They have much more energy and time doing this, too, as NDs will be often absent from meetings to recharge.

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@CynAq @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic NTs do notice the trouble we have in finding our moment and finishing our thoughts after being interrupted. They can either help us or use it against us.

I always deeply appreciate when people give me the time to speak and they are often surprised how much thought I put into formulating my opinion.

But yes, there are also those who pretend I haven't been thorough at all (just like them) and treat it like any other opinion, thereby putting me on the defense while vulnerable. Both to the group dynamics and to rejection in general.

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