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Hossenfeffer

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Hossenfeffer ,
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“If you want to respect the rule of law, you’ve got to start from the original lawgiver, which was Moses”

Bollocks, more like.

The earliest known laws are from The Code of Ur-Nammu from Mesopotamia written on tablets around 2100–2050 BCE. If Moses existed, he was probably chiselling away at his tables six or seven hundred years later.

So I demand that these laws replace the 10 Commandments in schools. Who could forget such classics as:

  • If a prospective son-in-law enters the house of his prospective father-in-law, but his father-in-law later gives his daughter to another man, the father-in-law shall return to the rejected son-in-law twofold the amount of bridal presents he had brought.
  • If a man’s slave-woman, comparing herself to her mistress, speaks insolently to her, her mouth shall be scoured with 1 quart of salt.
  • If a man, in the course of a scuffle, smashed the limb of another man with a club, he shall pay one mina of silver.
  • If a man stealthily cultivates the field of another man and he raises a complaint, this is however to be rejected, and this man will lose his expenses.
Hossenfeffer ,
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In today’s money? About 17p, or 21 US cents. Shocking, really. I’ve got a club because at that price, why wouldn’t you?

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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There’s a sort of jokey tradition in UK pubs that when the bar is busy and you go up to order your drinks you should always shout “I was here first, you wanker!” at the barman / barmaid as they serve each person before you. It’s just one of those funny traditions that kills every time.

Hossenfeffer ,
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWBjwgxEawo

Hossenfeffer ,
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Defragged cows. System files cannot be moved.

https://feddit.uk/pictrs/image/a6c852bc-1ee6-4031-8b9a-89ec396a807f.jpeg

The Sunak v Starmer debate is appalling

Sunak comes across like the prat he is. “Labor will raise taxes by £2,000 for everybody” regardless of the question. Talking over all the time, not listening to the moderator. Appalling creature. Starmer sympathises a lot with people asking questions without answering them. Skating around or just plainly ignoring questions...

Hossenfeffer ,
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Not watching any of it. I already know what they’re going to say and it would just make me cross.

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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I’m so dopey. I thought this was suggesting that we’d invented some clever formulation to stop dead bugs sticking to windshields in 2020 and that we’d all have fully autonomous cars by 2050.

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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Tomb Raider on OG PlayStation.

I remember walking around after pretty much a solid day of playing and just seeing buildings in terms of which ones Lara / I could climb.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Pedantry: it putter not potter.

Confidently wrong.

Hossenfeffer ,
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https://feddit.uk/pictrs/image/c390fda2-3d06-4d12-aeca-02363904eb12.png

Hossenfeffer ,
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Oh course, but you’re coming off mine with that attitude, buddy!

Hossenfeffer ,
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Is the from a book by Sylvanus P. Thompson?

Hossenfeffer ,
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Musk also told staff that he would ask for the resignation of any executive “who retains more than three people who don’t obviously pass the excellent, necessary and trustworthy test.”

Pssst. Elon. You’re not any of those three things.

Hossenfeffer ,
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You’d say what with the what now?

Hossenfeffer ,
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Haven’t read the story yet but… was this a white guy? I’m going to guess not,

Hossenfeffer ,
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My opinion is that their union seems to be one of the very few left with any teeth at all.

More industries should have unions which can wield the power they do.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Russia says US support for Ukraine will end as ‘humiliating fiasco’ like ‘Vietnam and Afghanistan’

Of course that Is what Russia says. They were hardly likely to say ‘That’‘s it, game over for us, we’re withdrawing all our troops now.’

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

Pfffft. The AI couldn’t even fly its plane the right way up.

https://feddit.uk/pictrs/image/726c095d-40dc-416b-a230-5f4c4e53dd45.jpeg

Hossenfeffer ,
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I miss Windows 3.11.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Some things cannot be unseen.

Hossenfeffer ,
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… and dog’s bollocks.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Phat.

Hossenfeffer ,
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I’d be pretty distracted by the bear waiting behind me for his go.

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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… and yet when I do a beautiful, booming bottom burp in front of King Charlie-come-lately I get hauled away by the Royal Protection Squad!

Hossenfeffer ,
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Free-range, artisanal, migratory-domicile.

Israeli troops shoot and kill a Palestinian shepherd reading the Quran on his land (www.haaretz.com)

Three soldiers pounce on a shepherd sitting outside his sheep pen. They knock him over and then one of them shoots him to death at point-blank range. Fakher Jaber, a father of four, was suspected of involvement in an incident that probably never happened...

Hossenfeffer ,
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Well, yeah, they don’t play cricket.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Which one?

Hossenfeffer , (edited )
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Yes, there have been a few comments mentioning Tikka masala, but can you name another British dish with flavor? I don’t think so.

Let’s kick off with curries! We’ve been eating ‘curry’ since 1598, so longer than a lot of other countries have existed. As well as chicken tikka masalla, we’ve adapted or invented a few, such as:

  • Madras curries
  • Jalfrezi curries
  • Balti curries
  • Phall curries

For other British dishes with flavour, try (in no particular order):

  • Any Sunday roast; beef with Yorkshires and horseradish sauce, pork with applesauce, lamb with mint sauce.
  • Full English, full Scottish, Ulster Fry, Full Welsh
  • Kedgeree
  • Steak and kidney pudding
  • Cream tea
  • A proper ploughman’s lunch
  • Sausage, mash, onion gravy with English mustard
  • Cullen skink
  • Shepherd’s pie / cottage pie
  • Fish pie
  • Irish stew
  • Lancashire Hot Pot
  • Marmite on toast
  • Bacon sarnie
  • Kippers
  • Sheffield fishcake butty
  • Welsh rarebit
Hossenfeffer ,
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Fuckin’ shark. As long as we’re up a mountain.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Same. Watched the matinee performance every day for a week during the summer holidays. Blew my mind.

Hossenfeffer ,
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First computer experiences were with a Commodore CBM 4032 (and state of the art 5¼-inch dual floppy disk drive) owned by one of the physics teachers at school.

Sitting down, unsupervised, with a group of friends one lunchtime we quickly tired of typing in rude words only to see “Syntax error” every time and we all wanted to find out how to make it work for us.

Lost touch with one of the group, but the rest of us all ended up in tech or software development of some sort.

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

Well, it’s a plain, white dinner plate with no obvious lip but rather a shallow curve from the bowl to the rim. Looks mass-produced and fairly cheap. Some scratch marks are visible, making me wonder if it’s actually a reusable plastic plate rather than ceramic.

Hossenfeffer ,
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I look forward to reading about us in /c/andfinally.

Hossenfeffer ,
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I mean, all the evidence does point that way, doesn’t it?

Hossenfeffer ,
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“Gravel driveway and path; gravel driveways and paths make it harder for burglars to go undetected.” according to the Metropolitan Police.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Radio died on 26th March 2004 for me.

Biggedy Biggedy Bong.

Hossenfeffer ,
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… carry on!

Hossenfeffer ,
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“The intent is to provide drivers with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heated seat configurations.”

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

You might want to check that trade-in value. I recently got £4k for a 2013 Yeti trade-in. It was an L&K but even so…

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

You don’t need to fuel a castle, silly!

Hossenfeffer ,
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Welcome. This is a local instance for local people. You’ll fit in fine.

Hossenfeffer ,
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We can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs. We can burn ‘er, bury ‘er, or dump ‘er.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Worst. Spoon. Ever.

Hossenfeffer ,
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This can’t be comprehensive, surely? I’d go with PI55 POT myself.

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

Hmmm. I loved the series from the 1980s. There were some great performances, especially the wonderful Toshiro Mifune as Toranaga and John Rhys-Davies as Vasco Rodrigues.

This new version looks like the big set pieces will be more epic, so I hope the characterisation holds up as well.

Hossenfeffer ,
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Thorin sits down and starts singing about gold.

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

Buttigieg.

Heh.

Hossenfeffer OP ,
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I assumed the whole thing was designed to offend absolutely everyone.

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