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theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades know that a meltdown is coming on?

An emotion? A sensation? Both?

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades measure their level of dysregulation/ regulation?

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How do my comrades practice self-care in the midst of an autistic meltdown? After?

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Are you a carrot or a stick person when it comes to getting your day started? Or neither?

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Being is not a disease or a disorder.

But it doesn’t mean you aren’t disabled either. You are.

But it doesn’t mean you can’t believe in superpowers. You can.

But you CAN believe that life is incredibly hard without help too.

Autism isn’t one thing.

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach OP ,
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

@ratcatcher @danimo @actuallyautistic I have taken your suggestion and began tooting questions with so that those who don’t want questions can filter them out. Perhaps I will start using for posts such as the above. But remind that filtering those out may cause people to lose acccess to some of the material that they’re looking for

ratcatcher ,
@ratcatcher@c.im avatar

@theautisticcoach

The problem with using is that this hashtag is in general use and I would not want to filter it.

My suggestion was that you should invent your own unique hashtag specific to your questions so that those of us who are not interested can filter them. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that you stop using other hashtags or stop posting to @actuallyautistic - just include a unique hashtag that can be filtered on.

@danimo

ashleyspencer , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

How does an autistic go about finding a special interest?

I don’t have one. I should have one. Tried numerous times to find something and nothing holds my attention like my business.

Does anyone relate to this being autistic and not having a special interest thing?

Edit: it is my only special interest but it’s not healthy.

@actuallyautistic

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

I'm curious… does anyone have good recommendations for sneakers for people who walk/run on their toes?

It seems like all the ones on the market assume everyone walks heel to toe. So they have a lot of cushioning under the heel and very little under the toes. Exactly the opposite of what toe walkers need.

@actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer , to actuallyautistic
@ashleyspencer@autistics.life avatar

Do you have music that you listen to over and over again?

There’s this one playlist that’s practically the only thing I listen to. It’s motivating and positive things to ingrain in my mind. Haven’t gotten tired of it and the playlist has been growing for over 2 years now.

Occasionally I’ll let the app mix and play music it thinks I’ll like, but mainly the same like 25 to 30 songs. I feel like this is one of my many autistic traits.

What about you?
@actuallyautistic

hmm_cook , to random
@hmm_cook@universeodon.com avatar

If you could name one wildly improbable dream—one thing you would love to be able to do if people issues were no obstacle—what would it be?

joshsusser , to actuallyautistic
@joshsusser@neurodifferent.me avatar

There are two really important concepts that explain a lot of the experience: and . I'm always frustrated by how hard it is to explain these ideas, so I'm exploring new approaches. How about ?

The Double Empathy Problem is like you're D&D characters, and your CHA (charisma) is only full-strength with your own neurotype. When autistics encounter allistics, each sees the other's CHA at -4. Autistics can use the Masking skill to help on some CHA rolls.

The Social Model of Disability is like how a Halfling is fine in their home village, but in a Human town they are too short to reach all the things that have been built for people twice their height.

Am I on the right track here? What would make these better? And do folks have other explanations they have had success using?

@actuallyautistic

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to audhd
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

For Autistic people, interoceptive differences are common.

This can range from not knowing we need the toilet through to being unable to identify or articulate our emotions.

This means that we will often stim in a way that triggers our interoceptive sense. Our sensory seeking will try and trigger those feelings that interoception senses.

What are some of the interoceptive stims you use?

@autisticadvocacy @actuallyautistic @audhd

Aerliss , to random
@Aerliss@mastodon.social avatar

Now I gotta add more tags to my autistic hashtag tab and it always takes me a while to remember how to get to that bit of the app shakes fist at sky

I think I missed asking autistics off it anyway.

Am I missing any good ones?

(I wish the suggested tags were in camel type so I don't have to type the whole thing out every time.)

adelinej , to random
@adelinej@thecanadian.social avatar

(if you are not autistic please don’t comment, read and learn. Yes, I’m fed up to read allistic comments in thread asking input from autistics. And don’t waste your time and mine by trying to argue with me about that I will simply block you)

Why did you choose to identify yourself as , , being on the spectrum, etc. ? Usually from what I read it’s a generational word and/or a cultural one as our is international and this is too often forgotten

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

If there were no barriers, and you had unlimited resources. What one thing would you do?

I would start an academic institution dedicated to the study and advancement of the neurodiversity paradigm and movement.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , to actuallyautistic
@DivergentDumpsterPhoenix@disabled.social avatar

do you experience imposter syndrome?

I have been so good at hiding parts of myself over the years that I now doubt they are there.

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @actuallyadhd

johnnyprofane1 , to actuallyautistic
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

"Calm down."
🧵

G-d, I hate those words. Always have.




@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.

Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.

From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.

👉Control over THEIR own feelings.

By demanding... control of mine.

WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?

You folks do.

I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...

To the neurology I was born with.

You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
👇👇👇

With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In your life.

There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."

Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
👉 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... 👈

YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.

I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.

👉THIS cat has a theory of your mind. It's simple.

You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.

S'why y'all drive me crazy.

Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?

Not to soothe my distress. To soothe THEIR distress.

👉 Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.

👉 Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.

👉 Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.

👉 Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...

Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.

🚨 "Calm down." 🚨

There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.

Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.

And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...

You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.

You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.

johnnyprofane1 , to actuallyautistic
@johnnyprofane1@neurodifferent.me avatar

Folks have asked what's happening with my health. Haven't had the spoons to really talk since March...

But some older folks may need to know.

Here's the deal.


@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

This is a roller coaster. I'm good most mornings for a few hours...

Then I crash. The initial presenting symptom that got me into the doctor was really bad hot flashes. Apparently, I'm told, pretty much identical to "severe" hot flashes accompanying female menopause.

Hard to blv. Kinda weirdly hard on the ego identity. Even embarrassing...

I was so used to autistic burnout that I assumed I was just having a bad one...

Til the only NP I could see with Medicaid finally tested my testosterone. That took over a month...

It was 56.

Normal ~500. Supposed to be a minimum of 300. At least around 200 at my 70 years.

For all males, there are serious implications for neurology, heart, bones and more below 100.

Hospitalization around 30...

But my thyroid and other endocrine systems are involved. And I can't see an endocrinologist until at least November.

PTSD, elderly autism, heavy cannabis use may all be involved. They're each known to depress Teststerone and other hormones.

There's one study on older autistic males and testosterone. We may be prone to such a crash...

There aren't many of us to study...

As you can see I'm fairly available right now...

By mid afternoon I'm likely to be in dysfunctional brain fog, extreme physical fatigue, and possibly paranoid as fuck.

A heads up.

.

JeremyMallin , to actuallyautistic
@JeremyMallin@autistics.life avatar

Is exceptional autobiographical memory common among Autistics?

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Most of the time when asked “How are you doing?” I actually tell them, because I forget I’m supposed to always say, “I’m fine” even if I’m not.

You think as an older adult I would have learned by now…but nope.

Do you?

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

I’m barefoot most of the time. If I need more protection I wear my flip flops.

I used to get made fun of in school for wearing them all the time. I can wear socks and shoes but prefer not to.

Does it bother you to wear things on your feet?

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

We have been dealing with an insurance company and it has been a complete nightmare.

I’m sure I’m not alone.

image: @pizzacakecomic

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

It can be difficult to get through a burnout. I’m in the midst of one now.

Any helpful suggestions that worked for you?

image: @autistic_callum_

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Do you ever feel like an “observer”, like in the TV show Fringe, where life happens to other people and you’re just watching?

Sometimes I feel that way even when I’m participating in an event. I still feel disconnected from it.

@actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

How would my comrades rate their shoe tying skills?

Are you better at tying one foot more than the other?

A particular type of laces?

Or do you got for laceless shoes altogether?

@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

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