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programmer_humor

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Socsa , in New language

This is super easy, you just fire all the Java devs and hire real engineers.

ridiche , in Should I file a bug report? 😀

Yes

jjjalljs , in New language

The python code we inherited had some performance issues. One of the guys was like “we should rewrite this in Java”.

Luckily the boss was not an insane person and shut that down. The issue was an entirely stupid “
and then we do one query per project” behavior that worked fine when the company was small but unsurprisingly started to suck as users created more projects.

Instead of a months long complete rewrite, we had a two hour “let’s add profiling
 Oh wow that’s a lot of queries” session.

Aggravationstation , (edited ) in Has this ever happened to you?

Used to do service desk for a large company. During covid most people insisted on remoting to their desktops. If they shut down the machine rather than logged out, we couldn’t turn it back on remotely and obviously we couldn’t send people out. Had fun explaining that to a lot of people who wouldn’t believe it.

Some of the desktops had recently been switched from Windows 7 to Windows 10. The shutdown and log out buttons are in a different order on 7 and 10. Had two separate people ask me to move the order. Couldn’t get over to them that we couldn’t do that.

Bytemeister , (edited )

Had to go into the office twice just to turn on a computer. 3rd time I went to each machine and enabled wake-on-lan.

Also set backup devices to automatically turn on at 2 in the morning, so if they crashed, I could just wait until the next day, if the machines didn’t boot themselves then I had a real problem.

dan ,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

we couldn’t turn it back on remotely

You didn’t have something like vPro / Intel Management Engine where you could remotely boot the PCs?

Aggravationstation ,

We had a tool that had WOL as an option amongst others but it never worked.

meathorse , in Has this ever happened to you?

My dumb arse used to do this to win 98/me when I was a student. “Optimising” everything and deleting anything I would never use, trying to squeeze every mb out of my limited 2gb disk space but the damn thing was so unreliable I was constantly reinstalling windows.

After one reload, I finished late at night and just left it alone, forgetting to perform all my “power user customisation” until I remembered a week later when it suddenly dawned on me that it was running fast AND stable - I hadn’t had a single crash that week. As a final test, I applied all my “optimisations” again and “oh, look! It’s crashing constantly again”. I was a slow learner and turns out I don’t know better than the people that built the system!

I always think of this when I see threads about win7 - 11 being unstable, because it just isn’t. As you dig through the thread, the op reveals more - they’ve chopped out all sorts of system components with registry hacks and third party tools or blocked updates and then bitch about windows being garbage - don’t get me wrong, they simultaneously make it better and worse with every release so I sympathize why people try chopping out edge, copilot etc - but just don’t.

Disabling services and uninstalling functions the non-hacky way ‘should’ be fine (and likely reversable) but if someone wants to bare-bone their OS or be data gathering-free, they’d be better off learning Linux.

WormFood ,

the biggest causes of bsods and other crashes on windows up to xp were drivers. after xp, Microsoft required drivers for windows to go through their signing and verification program, which was controversial but it did solve the problem

modern windows rarely crashes outright but in my experience it does break in small ways over time, without the user doing anything

in terms of disabling windows components, it’s true that this can break your system, but I would argue this is still Microsoft’s problem. there are many windows competents that are deeply coupled together when they have no reason to be

meathorse ,

That’s right! I remember those signed drivers where also why early XP (pre SP2) had a bad rep. Not as bad as ME but users were swearing on the graves of dead relatives they would never give up W98 or W2k. Without new or signed drivers, a lot of hardware struggled but by the time SP2 rolled out, hardware vendors had mostly caught up and the OS had matured.

Vista had similar issues (so, so many issues with Vista) with it’s security changes which made life difficult for badly written/insecure software (wanting admin rights to run or write access to system folders/reg keys). Those changes in Vista paved the way for Win7 to be so much better at launch since most software had caught up by then.

I think the issue with disabling components is 90% how users remove them. Pulling them out via “official” methods hasn’t ever caused me issues - DISM is really handy - particularly for permanently removing the default apps. Those deeply connected functions can be a pain!

SpaceXplorer_8042 ,
@SpaceXplorer_8042@lemmy.zip avatar

I have only used DISM (I think) for chkdsk. What else can you really do with it? I don’t even know what to search tbh, so pardon me if it’s just a quick search away

meathorse ,

Quite a few things - mostly used it for capturing images, loading drivers and updates into images but can also be used to pull apps out of the image too.

For a live windows install there are PowerShell commands to do this


microsoft.com/
/add-or-remove-packages-offline-u


Kindness ,

or blocked updates

This in particular. Windows intentionally destabilises itself if you prevent it from updating or powering off when it realises there is an update available.

This could be non-malicious, such as refusing to collect spyware reports from a potentially infected box, and the box needs to connect to MS to function properly, It could be a tool to force people to “reboot to solve your issues”. Hard to tell without running afoul of the Computer Misuse Act.

meathorse ,

I’m not sure about this one - it’s definately not my experience but yours could be very different.

The system definitely reports data back to MS but I’ve never seen a box have issues because we denied it the ability to dial home or update. Unless the PC is online and the user is actively trying to prevent the updates installing? I’ve seen users pull the plug on a PC that started/midway though updates hoping to stop them and it would often make a mess of things.

We had a small handful of XP then Win7 boxes that were completely off the grid/standalone as SCADA access points/controllers? for several years without issues.

Likewise, we had one box where the vendor did not allow any updates despite it being networked and online. They had disabled win updates completely without our input. It ran just fine for a few years until it was picked up in a security audit. We didn’t understand why updates were disabled at that time so we switched them back on and updated. The PC ran just fine until it’s eventual retirement.

Kindness ,

Ah, forgive me. I’m referring to the latest and most miserable versions. 10 will noticeably prevent results in the search area, if the machine doesn’t power off and is not updated for too long. Among other things. It takes around a week of ignoring an update.

It’s likely much the same with 11.

Wirlocke ,

If you want barebones Windows I’d suggest you cough cough obtain Windows 10 LTSC.

It’s got most the bloatware cut out, you just have to reenable the old style picture viewer.

Though when I eventually make a new PC, I’m probably just gonna use Linux Mint because I hear running Windows games/software isn’t nearly as bad nowadays, thanks Steam.

LemmyRefugee ,

I don’t know why I thought about that but for younger people, Windows ME was Windows Millenium Edition.

floofloof ,

Windows 11 is pretty unreliable on my 3 machines. I don’t see many blue screens but the Start menu, Explorer, Task Manager, search and other basic bits frequently become unresponsive. I haven’t changed or removed anything. My Linux machines don’t do this. I think Windows 11 just isn’t that stable.

CosmicCleric , (edited ) in New language
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

Why is there always such a concerted effort to destroy the reputation of Java? It just seems so unnecessarily obsessive, and a lot of times wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that with time comes change, and Humanity improves on everything, including programming languages.

But at this point it seems like people want to hose Java down with holy water. It’s excessive.

steeznson ,

Yeah I kinda agree. C# might have some nice new shiny features but Java is improving all the time and has deep roots in the open source community.

Scripting languages don’t really compete with Java because they are a different type of tool. Even when data engineers/scientists use pyspark in data pipelines it’s just a thin wrapper around JVM scala code.

slazer2au , in Has this ever happened to you?

Code? No.
Physical equipment? Yes

Customer wasn’t happy when we billed them list price for a Cisco switch their MSP tossed out.

K0W4LSK1 , in kno.wled.ge

.wtf is my favourite

sabreW4K3 , in Teenagers.
@sabreW4K3@lazysoci.al avatar

Congrats Dull. As someone that’s been reading contributions from your first pull request, I can say it’s well deserved.

dullbananas OP ,
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

Yeah it’s deserved, but what’s even more deserved is Robert F Kennedy Jr’s presidency

Fal ,
@Fal@yiffit.net avatar

Wtf

Excrubulent ,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Intelligence is domain specific. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Did you know the founders of NASA’s JPL were sex majick cultists?

PhobosAnomaly ,

Intelligence is domain specific.

I need this on a plaque above my desk phone. It’s perfect.

dullbananas OP , (edited )
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

Defend your position

Edit: RFK Jr. was right about the polarization!

Hello_there ,

Wtf

sharkfucker420 ,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

They are joking lol

Fal ,
@Fal@yiffit.net avatar

Look at some of their other comments. They’ll fit right in with the other lemmy devs

dullbananas OP ,
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

I think dessalines and nutomic have terrible beliefs

Fal ,
@Fal@yiffit.net avatar

Yeah, you fit right in

dullbananas OP ,
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

No I actually want to vote for him

sharkfucker420 ,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar
Hello_there ,

You an anti vaxxer or a conspiracy theorist?

dullbananas OP ,
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

I want a strongly pro-vaccine culture, but whether or not to have vaccines mandated by the government is a tough dilemma for me.

I expect America’s overall health to improve and catch up with the rest of the world under RFK Jr. because of his support for vaccine/drug testing that’s free from corporate capture and his ambition to mitigate chronic disease.

I can respond to your point about conspiracy theories if you’re more specific.

Hello_there ,

If all of your supporters think vaccines cause diseases, if you're elected you're going to need to satisfy them by acting on those beliefs.

I think, in the abstract, you're right - having any sort of health procedure mandated by the govt is extremely problematic. However hugely communicable diseases are a big caveat to that principle, and we have been doing something about that for a long long time.

Typhoid Mary
was forcibly detained because, over and over again, she kept spreading the disease. Several different times, bird flu was halted before it could get too widespread because of govt mandated culls. Smallpox was completely eradicated because of vaccine efforts.

Imagine if in any of those cases people said 'freedom' was primary and prevented coercion for vaccines. The death and injury toll would be much higher by today, including those of the young and the immunocompromised.

dullbananas OP ,
@dullbananas@lemmy.ca avatar

Right now my gut reaction is that local governments, but not higher levels of authority, should be able to do what was done to Typhoid Mary, until we have sufficiently convenient and effective ways to be protected from contagious diseases without the cooperation of other people.

Hello_there ,

But we're all connected. It just takes one city or county that serves as a petri dish, and then one person to get on a plane, and you have a pandemic

MaggiWuerze ,

At least you seem to fit right in with your political affiliation

Wild_Mastic ,

Wtf

sharkfucker420 ,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar
RageAgainstTheRich ,

Limmy on Lemmy

Martineski ,
@Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Wtf

meowmeow ,

wtf

lemmy_99c4zb3e3 ,
@lemmy_99c4zb3e3@reddthat.com avatar

Wtf

dylanTheDeveloper ,
@dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world avatar

Wtf

paraphrand ,

Irony poisoning?

camr_on ,
@camr_on@lemmy.world avatar
muntedcrocodile ,
@muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee avatar

Will he be as open minded as his father?

MaggiWuerze ,

He is so open minded, he believes and repeats every piece of bullshit he can find

julianh ,

Ma’am/sir this is a Wendy’s.

Yearly1845 ,

deleted_by_author

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  • mexicancartel ,

    Seems he is trolling too realistically

    towerful , in I expect normies to use words like 'algorithm' to refer to 'AI', which is in reality, a mathematical optimization PAC model --- but is this guy not supposed to be epitome of tech meritocracy?

    He is the epitome of capitalism and nepotism.
    He is not the epitome of tech meritocrasy

    southsamurai , in Teenagers.
    @southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Damn! That’s sweet!

    Adalast , in *Angry programmers noise getting louder and louder*

    I have had to stop telling people that HTML is not a programming language. I crushed too many souls that way.

    Anticorp , in Hate it when that happens

    When you Google a problem and see 15 Reddit posts asking about the same problem and all the answers are “just Google it”.

    Traister101 , in Teenagers.

    Thanks for well contributing to Lemmy but you sure are quite the annoying character. Now don’t go and abuse your newfound abilities and remove the blocking feature <3

    Swarfega , in Has this ever happened to you?

    We looked after a cafe who had a couple of PC’s to use that gave internet access. Yes this was a while ago, way before smartphones and wifi. The PC’s had some software that allowed internet access for a set duration based on how long they had purchased. This software was managed by an NT4 Server backend.
    The owner called one day to say nothing works. When I got there, NT4 has been wiped and replaced with Windows 98. Apparently one of the university student baristas was asked to help when they had an issue. The owner was trying to save money from calling us out. Fixing this mess was way pricier than whatever was wrong previously!

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