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Zehzin , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

This method will take forever to find the exact moment, said Officer Zeno.

SamirCasino ,

I love you for that joke.

TrenchcoatFullofBats ,

I heard that he wanted to get Officer Thomson and his lamp on the case, but the request form was incomplete.

Ddhuud , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

They’re paid by the hour.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

“Yes, chief, I’ll need 72h to manually review all 72h of footage and cannot do any other activities in the meantime.”

nullPointer , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

just tell them there is a black man at the moment of theft, they will get on it lickety split!

Cannacheques ,

Sad meme very relevant

Grimble ,
  • Binary search: O(log(n))
  • Sequential search: O(n)
  • Linear search: O(n)
  • Police ethnicity database search: O(0)
ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider ,
@ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider@hexbear.net avatar

No need to search when you already have someone you wanna pin it on.

wit , in Bill is a pro grammer

Code should be self documenting.

JohnDClay ,

But you should also comment it, things obvious to you aren’t obvious to even future you.

gornius ,

General rule of thumb: Comments say why is it here, not what it does. Code itself should describe what it does.

Sylvartas ,

But then you write code in the real world and find out that you have to write some ass backwards code every other day because of deadlines, backwards compatibility or whatever, and suddenly you realize that despite your best efforts, code cannot always be self documenting.

Source: me.

executivechimp ,
@executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

should

Sylvartas ,

In a vacuum, sure. On a real project of substantial size with more than one programmer, I’m afraid it quickly becomes a “cannot”

driving_crooner , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br avatar

I used to do this when having problems while rendering video in my past life.

SameOldInternet , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

This post just shows that the police rarely if ever review any video as this method would’ve been learned as a result of repeatedly reviewing video.

schmidtster , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

I get the sentiment, but you want them to waste public resources doing it on all these different clunky uis and software? Sometimes these take minutes to load new information to parse.

Maybe waste your time pinpointing it instead of expecting public resources to do what you could do for them?

BombOmOm ,
@BombOmOm@lemmy.world avatar

on all these different clunky uis and software

As someone who has used security cam software before. I swear they are designed to be as unhelpful, slow, and convoluted as possible.

new_guy ,

I mean… their job supposedly is to protect and serve the citiens so yeah… I’d expect them to use their tools to do their job.

schmidtster ,

It’s your software/hardware and you know how to operate it. Would take you a fraction of the time as well.

Maybe public cameras sure, but private that’s not their tool by any stretch of the imagination.

And most public cameras don’t record for privacy reasons.

bleistift2 ,

It’s your software/hardware

Where do you read that in the original post?

GBU_28 ,

What? It was a campus security camera, not their hardware

OmenAtom ,

In what world do random citizens own and operate the security cameras of, well, anything? As opposed to the people that work there, or I dont know the police? Whose job is allegedly to solve crimes?

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Oh shit, a few minutes to do their job. The fucking horror, wouldn’t want to cut into their being an utter fucking bastard time, where they’re probably harassing a minority or beating their wife.

schmidtster ,

It’s public money, why waste it when you could provide it for them.

But argue fallacious points.

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Okay so genius, are the cops going to provide the footage for the person to watch themselves to narrow down the time?

How the fuck do you expect this person to work it out if the ones with access to the evidence to do so refuse to do so?

And further fucking more, how is doing their job, wasting public money? There’s a lot of money wasted on police, investigating a robbery for a real person is not one of them.

slurpeesoforion ,

Chain of custody

NoIWontPickaName ,

Because it is their job to do it.

Crackhappy ,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

So when there is a pothole in front of your driveway, you’re going out and filling it in yourself, right? Because why waste the city’s valuable time when you could do it yourself?

schmidtster ,

If it’s in your driveway it’s your problem, yes.

Aatube ,
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

They said in front. So right after you go out

Even if it was in your driveway, unless you’re a cement construction worker you’d probably have no way to fix it and contact somebody

SpaceNoodle ,

Oh, so your excuse is that you’re illiterate?

frezik ,

Who is “you” in this sentence? I mean, I could probably write security camera software, but I don’t, and have no plans to. I imagine most of the people here are the same.

kryptonianCodeMonkey ,

Yeah, every time I have ever had to hand over footage to the police for thefts at our family store, I clip and organizr that shit. I also include a paper identifying each file, the timestamps and what happened during them, any details I identified that they can corroborate (physical description, identifiable clothing/tattoos, make and model of vehicle, license plate number, etc.). I often end up putting in 1-2 hours of work on it watching, editing and transferring footage.

If you want traction and results from the police, you need to make it as easy as possible for them by doing the heavy lifting yourself. The cynical view is that thats because they just don’t care, but also, in fairness, your case is one of dozens of cases on their desk and the cases never stop coming. This is your priority, so put in the effort instead of expecting others do so. That being said, that is much easier when you have direct access to the cctv footage. I’m guessing this student didnt.

NoIWontPickaName ,

So I should do their job for them?

Why the fuck are we paying them then?

gregorum ,

That’s an interesting way to say that they shouldn’t get paid if they’re not doing their jobs. 

Dukeofdummies , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@Dukeofdummies@kbin.social avatar

I mean, in the era of VHS this won't work because ultimately you're fast forwarding and rewinding. So you're gonna watch it anyway. but in the digital era I thought this would be what any Police officer did?

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

Deceptichum ,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

What and be responsible for paperwork?

Cops are the biggest bludges you’ll ever meet.

funkless_eck ,

my guy half of them don’t spend 10 minutes on a murder. There’s a reason it’s called detective fiction

Dukeofdummies ,
@Dukeofdummies@kbin.social avatar

I know but if they were smart they'd say they're gonna take an hour to do it, find the footage in 10 minutes and goof off another 50.

Pull a Scotty, then you're productive and lazy. It's just disappointing they can't even procrastinate properly. I feel bad.

SpaceNoodle ,

if they were smart

I gotta stop you right there

morrowind , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

That’s a search algorithm, not sorting

8000mark , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

For anybody else looking for the source of this quote: archive.md/RyZI0

ooterness , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

This post is horrifying, not funny.

Localhorst86 , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

“Exactly my point. We will not be investing an hour looking at the footage to pinpoint the time of theft, now get out!”

Rolando ,

Show up with a box of donuts.

“Hey, look what I got for us to eat while looking at that tape!”

“Oh, I don’t think those donuts will last more than ten minutes here!”

“No problem, I know a way that won’t take that long…”

HubertManne , in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

that dawn of humanity is only going to work if the rewind/fast forward is instantaneous.

kryptonianCodeMonkey , (edited )

Also, if I rewind to the Neolithic and I see a bunch of cavemen, sabertooth tigers and a Schwinn chained to a bike rack, I’m not going to just fast forward from there. I have other questions.

MagicShel ,

I mean… You’re not gonna outrun that sabertooth on foot.

stufkes , in I'll just be a quick 3h

Garcia From Criminal Minds: consider it done 😂

reverendsteveii ,

Enhance

nintendiator ,

Hang on, what’s that? Click on the ip_address column!

fibojoly , in I'll just be a quick 3h

Me right now, discovering that our archives data have file sizes… sometimes in bytes, sometimes in kilobytes. I found some pattern this morning thinking I could know which was which, then the pattern collapsed at some date in the past.
Joy.

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