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programmer_humor

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some_guy , in Any Volunteers

He already did the hard part! Why won’t you lazy fucks implement his great ideas?

Ragdoll_X ,
@Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world avatar

It is, in fact, very easy to code a game!


<span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">from </span><span style="color:#323232;">pygame </span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">import </span><span style="color:#323232;">game
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.load_player()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.load_enemies()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.load_audio()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.run()
</span>
oce ,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

I’m glad that there’s no micro transactions nor loot boxes.

bitwolf ,

That’s in game.load_dlc() we opted not to include that until our game is already beloved on steam.

CancerMancer ,

Make sure to add mandatory EGS accounts later.

pivot_root ,

EGS? Oh, no. We don’t do that here. We’re more along the lines of:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8e516760-53dc-4968-a91e-0c23d8660d9c.jpeg

AeonFelis ,

<span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">if </span><span style="color:#323232;">date.today() </span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">- </span><span style="color:#0086b3;">RELEASE_DATE </span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">> </span><span style="color:#323232;">timedelta(days</span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">=</span><span style="color:#0086b3;">90</span><span style="color:#323232;">):
</span><span style="color:#323232;">    </span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">try</span><span style="color:#323232;">:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">        game.prompt_user_to_connect_3rd_party_account()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">    </span><span style="font-weight:bold;color:#a71d5d;">except </span><span style="color:#323232;">PlayerRefusal:
</span><span style="color:#323232;">        sys.exit(</span><span style="color:#0086b3;">0</span><span style="color:#323232;">)
</span>
pivot_root ,

That part comes when they find a publisher.

suction ,

I’m writing this down. Fuck, my first game!!!

Holzkohlen ,

Just have ChatGPT do it then. Not so sophisticated AI after all, huh?

baggachipz ,

And sign this NDA and I keep 95% since it was my idea!

NegativeLookBehind , in The easiest problem
@NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world avatar

You should really be naming all your variables by generating 64 character (minimum) random strings.

rufus ,

Make it 63 (31?) to align with what C99 can distinguish.

Also: I really like unicode in identifiers. So if at all possible don’t just have a random string of letters and numbers, make sure to include greek letters and all the funny emojis. (I just forgot which languages and compilers etc allow that.)

NegativeLookBehind ,
@NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world avatar

Wingdings as well

aBundleOfFerrets ,

Wingdings is a font and has no effect on the actual code. Only people who set their IDE font to wingdings will see wingdings

NegativeLookBehind ,
@NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world avatar

Remove all fonts from the devs computers except for Wingdings and Webdings.

BodilessGaze ,

For extra fun, you can name your variables using solely Unicode invisible characters (e.g. non-breaking space) so they’re impossible to visually distinguish

LostXOR ,

Who needs private variables when you can generate cryptographically secure variable names? Much better security.

Mango , in Any Volunteers

If you’re this guy, You’ve gotta be a really good writer and you gotta write it first.

DragonTypeWyvern ,

“Ok, I did the overall plot. Who’s doing the dialogue?”

Mango ,

Sounds like you have a small fraction of a game Idea that could be generated by an AI trained on tvtropes.com.

Maggoty , in Any Volunteers

Sure as long as you donate 100,000 USD a year to my bank account.

perviouslyiner , in The easiest problem

Just be careful naming your function “stdout()” or things could get weird…

mkwt ,

Or Fortran variables that collide with Fortran built-in functions.

Keep in mind that array subscript and function call are both () in Fortran.

Swedneck , in Any Volunteers
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

i mean, provided you actually want to put in effort that’s called “being a game designer”, it’s perfectly valid to not write code or create assets.

ulkesh ,
@ulkesh@beehaw.org avatar

Asking for and/or expecting unpaid volunteers is most definitely not valid.

If he wants to pay them properly, then I would agree.

pheeef , in Added Bugs to Keep my job

somebody renamed the interface but didn’t rename the monitoring interface 2

nifty , in Any Volunteers
@nifty@lemmy.world avatar

The same damn attitude of some “open source” projects looking for free labor, as if paid labor isn’t exploitative enough

ekZepp , in Any Volunteers
@ekZepp@lemmy.world avatar

Just coding, 3d modelling and art. But the idea is great!

Matriks404 , in Any Volunteers

It ws only like a decided ago when I had multiple amazing ideas for games and other software, only to have nearly none when I actually started to do some programming for fun.

I think there’s only one game I would like to try making where I see it may have some success, but the idea is very vague and devil is in the details and execution I guess.

Karyoplasma , in Any Volunteers

This reminds me of a legendary thread in the forums of the German gaming magazine GameStar:

www.gamestar.de/…/world-of-warcraft-2.337502/

YarHarSuperstar ,
@YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world avatar

Me: reads the comment

Me: reads “German gaming magazine”

German

Still me: clicks the link and is disappointed when it’s all in German

NeptuneOrbit ,

For some reason, I click it, and Google translated it for me?

Hello,

me and my team (we are atm 3: me and 2 school colleagues) started a pretty big project last week. I know it sounds crazy, but we are working on a successor to WoW. Please don’t say we can’t do it anyway, because we are very ambitious and are very experienced WoW players. I’m posting here to find more people for our team. We have a modeler (me), a musician (for the background music and sound effects) and a community manager. We are still looking for a programmer to bring the whole thing to life. If you would like to apply, please post what experience you have so far with game programming and what programming languages ​​you know (we want to write the game in Java because we already learned a bit of Java at school last year).

Our goals/motivation: Wow is now a few years old and Blizzard doesn’t seem to be thinking about a successor. Instead, they create one extension at a time. The graphics are quite old and WoW2 is supposed to look much better (my models are almost photorealistic). The quests should be more exciting (don’t always kill XY, get XY). >There will be epic battles with up to 500vs500 fighters. We have invented two new classes: Necromancer and Hobblings. But I don’t want to tell you everything here and save it for later. I will send a project plan to anyone who is interested. ^We can’t pay for the work, but when we publish it, for example, we share the subscription fees we get ($10 per player).

Greetings. Wow2

Karyoplasma ,

The OP replied a few time as well, reiterating that this is a serious project. They even uploaded some of the “photorealistic” models, but the pics are offline, sadly.

I don’t think it was ever truly revealed whether it was an elaborate troll or just a spark of adolescent folly.

NeptuneOrbit ,

Clearly adolescent folly. I too remember thinking making a video game would be very easy.

BeardedGingerWonder ,

It is, you just have an idea, do some art and then glue it together with code.

rimjob_rainer ,

2008

Thinking WoW is old

2008 + 16

WoW still runs, no successor will ever come

uid0gid0 , in Any Volunteers

It’s got some real scientifically based dragons vibes.

Speculater ,
@Speculater@lemmy.world avatar

DNA based mating system for an MMO battle RPG? Sign me up.

Starkstruck , in Any Volunteers

Oh god have had people try this exact thing with me before.

CancerMancer ,

I got asked by a team of first timers who have never done any professional coding or design if I wanted to chip in on a competitive MMOFPS they want to make.

That’s not going to happen. Between the rise of cheating, the insane hardware and optimization requirements of an MMOFPS, the general lack of interest in the genre (most have died due to low player counts), and the sheer amount of time and effort involved in designing and balancing the game even after it’s largely feature complete? Forget it, I’m better off buying lottery tickets than hoping for anything to come of that.

Schal330 , in Added Bugs to Keep my job

Removed double quotes, added single quotes

iAvicenna ,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

someone later on -m “removed single quotes, added double quotes”

QuazarOmega ,

More commits == More money!!!

gravitas_deficiency ,

Real talk: I have worked at a company where an exec briefly had the bright idea to rank developers on number of commits made.

You can imagine how that turned out.

He wasn’t an exec for very long.

QuazarOmega ,

lmaoo, I can’t believe someone actually did that and was serious about it.
I’m already imagining commits piling up with comments like:

  • “add a newline”
  • “move function up”
  • “rename variable users to user_list
  • “Revert previous commit”
  • “no John, it’s user_list and that’s it, don’t you dare change it again”

He wasn’t an exec for very long.

Good riddance I guess

gravitas_deficiency ,

Oh, no, we can do better.

Every single line of every single PR is an individual commit. And never squash-commit.

QuazarOmega ,

Talk about atomic commits

gravitas_deficiency ,

If you really want to nuke it from orbit: do it for every character.

It is absolutely technically feasible to go further than that, but but I think that’s the point of diminishing returns in terms of effort.

QuazarOmega ,

Hah, I knew it would come to that

but I think that’s the point of diminishing returns in terms of effort

Not if you make another application to automatically split commits in that way… application which will need its own commits, it’s never-ending

muntedcrocodile ,
@muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee avatar

Why do u prefer single quotes?

grrgyle ,

Not Shall330, but double quotes can imply variables in the string in some languages.

muntedcrocodile ,
@muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee avatar

Which languages are these?

bitchkat ,

PHP for one. “$x” will interpret the variable $x. ‘$x’ does not.

muntedcrocodile ,
@muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee avatar

Well there’s ya problem ur using php.

charolastra ,

Also bash

nyan ,

And Perl.

Schal330 ,

I have no preference! It was to do with Spring/yaml config and some really strange conflict which required the use of single quotes. I’m still a total noob in the world of software dev, so I wouldn’t be able to explain why it worked 🤣

Actionschnils , in Any Volunteers

I once read an article about a guy, whos just doing this. He is selling gaming ideas to studios. But to be fair, he did develop some indie game by him self. He just realized, that he is not good in developing and the hates the whole programming and design part. He only has good ideas.

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