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AllNewTypeFace ,
@AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space avatar

If the Amish can somehow detonate a large enough EMP, they’re in with a chance.

ricecake ,

I had to look up the motivation for their beliefs, and now I know a touch more about the Amish.

It’s not about avoiding technology, it’s about avoiding undesired influences on their culture.

As such, I think that a non-violent (they’re a pacifist order) but entirely crippling tool to anyone with a dependence on technology would be perfectly acceptable.

Many orders accept batteries but not connection to the power grid. I have to believe that would extend to capacitor banks, particularly since capacitors predate when the Amish started to eschew technology and not just outsiders.

So it’s gonna be a race to get people into town to buy every super capacitor from every store they can get to, and then get them charging from the windmills.

The Mormons will easily show up before they finish, but with any luck the mutual “hey, hello! Welcome!” picnic and potluck, sharing of hot dishes, and general friendly meet and greet will go on long enough to charge the device and render modern technology obsolete for thousands of miles around them.

AllNewTypeFace ,
@AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space avatar

The Mormons have a culture of anthropological scholarship, a byproduct of their missionary programme and (to a lesser extent) of disproportionately many Mormons working as intelligence analysts. As such, it’s not implausible that they might see through such a ruse.

It may do the Amish well to start quietly hoarding supercapacitors as soon as Amish-Mormon relations start souring. Or even before: one could make a case for a preprepared EMP bomb being the Amish equivalent of a nuclear deterrent against any potential aggressors.

ricecake ,

I’d definitely agree that the Amish would be well served seeking enhanced second or even first strike EMP capabilities.

I don’t think the picnic would be taken as a ruse however, only as an unavoidable preamble to any group interaction. My, admittedly limited, interactions with Mormons led me to believe they also have a cultural weakness for the potluck.
So less a ruse, and more of an ambrosia and corn themed version of 1700s troops lining up before battle.

verity_kindle ,

Potluck coma is so dangerous, the pitchforks will be coming out from under the table and no one will care.

HelixDab2 ,

<serious>

Mormons. And it’s over in a week, tops.

Mormons are really into guns on the whole. There’s an entire fundie Mormon clan (the Kingstons) that own Desert Tech, an arms manufacturer. Mormons in general have a very high rate of enlistment in military services, while the Amish are pacifists and opposed to any form of modern technology. And don’t forget that you have the Deseret Nationalists that are quite willing to murder for their religion.

RobertoOberto ,

Desert Tech

If the momos make DT rifles their standard issue, the Amish will win.

Mirshe ,

Don’t forget that there are still some people trying to make Blood Libel a thing again in the mainline church as well!

HelixDab2 ,

I think you mean “blood atonement”, not “blood libel”. Blood libel is about Jews (supposedly) killing Christian babies. And yeah, those are the DezNat people.

Mirshe ,

Yeah, blood atonement was what I was thinking of.

DudeImMacGyver ,
@DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works avatar

Amish in a sweep, their toughness outweighs mormon tech advantages and let’s not forget their Mennonite buddies.

Semi_Hemi_Demigod ,
@Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world avatar

Fuck can they run, once

HootinNHollerin ,

Now I wanna see a horse drawn buggy that goes BRRRRRRRTTT

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tachanka

pineapplelover ,

Wtf that’s so cool

skillissuer ,
@skillissuer@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

mobile firepower is the crab of improvised weapon platforms

everything evolves into technical

itslilith ,
@itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Making the Ukrainians proud.

ArcaneSlime ,

Mormons hands down, they’re more strapped than you think and have no compunction against modern weapons whereas afaik the amish probably stop somewhere before the 1900s. Plus they could maybe convert some of the Amish (wololo), they’re good at that and the Amish don’t bother.

captainlezbian ,

The Amish are strict pacifists (except in regards to domestic violence) so they can’t even have a sword

ArcaneSlime ,

Yeah they’d get smoked in less than a week lol. TIL

Asafum ,

Not entirely sure who would win, but from this map I can see they both clearly hate ocean water/coasts. Mormons seem to be slightly more accepting of it so maybe that gives them an advantage. Adaptation is key to success!

negativenull ,
@negativenull@lemmy.world avatar

Mormons would unleash their MLM army against the Amish and try to bankrupt them.

silkroadtraveler ,

This is the most accurate and funniest take here! An army of wellness advocates will descend on the Amish and unleash a flood of irresistible essential oils

wieson ,

Oh, but the vanity!

Now, we don’t want to be vain, do we, Agnes?

jimbolauski ,

After the trade embargo, the mormans will run out of furniture. They’ll have no tables to eat from, no chairs to sit on, no beds to sleep on. After a month the mormans will be exhausted and starving and ready to topple over with a single flick.

verity_kindle ,

Ready to topple over with a single flick, unlike a fine Amish bench. No cushions, please, there’s a war on!

HelixDab2 ,

You haven’t seen the deep stores of folding tables and chairs that they have in the cultural halls (aka gymnasiums) at their local wards and stake centers. They have ten high-quality steel folding chairs for every member that shows up each week.

someguy3 ,

I don’t think Mormons have shunned tech, have they? So Mormons.

Also

Regions with significant populations United States 6,868,793[2] Mexico 1,516,406[3] Brazil 1,494,571[4] Philippines 867,271[5] Peru 637,180[6] Chile 607,583[7] Argentina 481,518[8] Guatemala 290,068[9]

I had no idea it was so prevalent outside of the US.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

and what, only 600,000 allowed into heaven?

GBU_28 ,

Mormon for sure. They have the US air force

Mango ,

If bloodlusted, Amish easily. They’re tougher than the nails they’re holding their barns up with, and not prone to complaining. In reality though, they’re big softies. They won’t even participate in haggling unless a deal is hurting them. Watching my mom haggle with an Amish dude for dog studding service is easily the most cringe moment of my life. I had to make her greedy ass stop!

Bakkoda ,

I buy my black locust/larch for raised beds from Amish/Mennonites (Fort Plain/Fonda area upstate NY) and it’s so cheap when i round up to “tip” they are almost offended and very confused. It’s hilarious to me and i hope they understand but I’m gonna tip them and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Mango ,

They really deserve better than they’re asking for. Amish are generally really good people.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

The amish have a Weird Al song and clip. Easy win for them.

DannyMac ,

We need an epic orchestral version of Amish Paradise like what you’d hear in a trailer!

John_McMurray ,

Amish are literally pacifist. Mormons aren’t. I’ve never even saw an Anabaptist who owns a gun, they slaughter animals old style, sharp knife.

psud ,

I doubt assault rifles are acceptable technology for the Amish too.

I wouldn’t put it past the Mormon army to use nukes, but I doubt they need to, and the population density of Amish isn’t going to give us the megadeaths we want from nukes anyway

My money’s still on the Mormons in a conventional fight, especially as the Amish (as you said) are opposed to fighting anyway

Olhonestjim , (edited )

The Mormons even have a nascent arms industry. A bunch of up and coming gun and silencer companies come out of Utah and Idaho.

Finally, the Mormon church has literally 100 billion dollars, impassable mountains with simple chokepoints, trained veterans with combat experience, and zero issues with using the latest technologies.

ResoluteCatnap ,

I heard Mormons are also known as LSD cuz they use so much. Amish going to wipe the floor with them.

Also the Amish have horses

Roflmasterbigpimp ,
@Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world avatar

Armish, because of their fancy hats.

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