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Snapz ,

Living in sin… No attachments, just these journalists and their sexy spouses - their Lazy Boys and their Ashleys.

Chef ,

“Why do these sexy couches keep seducing me??” - Jumbo Douche Vance

Stern ,
@Stern@lemmy.world avatar

Unlike him and his wife, Couchela.

242 ,

You know what else is childless? All the couches he’s been humping. What a hypocrite. Sheesh.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot ,

I dunno, I’ve seen some chairs and loveseats that look too much like their couches to be a coincidence. We might need to get Maury involved here.

sarcasticsunrise ,
@sarcasticsunrise@lemmy.world avatar

Hell yeah JD!!! That’s my boy! Keep giving us this motivational locker room talk, you’re the gift that keeps on giving! Keep cooking (yourself) King. You’re kinda mainlining the LGBTQ stuff to the point that it’s stale, maybe alienate some minorities next go round, that’d be SICK

d00phy ,

With all his focus of who does and doesn’t have kids, I feel like there’s a good “precious bodily fluids” joke to be made here.

Nuke_the_whales ,

🎶 every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood. 🎶

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I hear he left a lot of precious bodily fluids in his couch.

Tylerdurdon ,

This guy is hilarious! He’s gonna drop a solid gaffe bomb soon enough and Drumph won’t know what to do.

modifier ,

I’m trying to imagine what would even register as a gaffe at this point, discernable from the cosmic background dumpster-fire of Trump’s campaign

APassenger ,

He may get dropped, I think.

We’re in move, counter-move territory after Biden dropped out and everything coalesced behind Harris.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t know, if Trump drops him, that looks a lot worse for Trump than it did Biden dropping out for Harris. There haven’t been months and months and months of people on both sides saying Biden is unfit for another term.

APassenger ,

You may be right. Where I am is this:

  • Trump NEEDS to win (for his own purposes)
  • Vance has a lot of connections to Project 2025
  • Project 2025 may doom Trump’s run

If the race starts to separate, Trump is not loyal. He just requires it of others. And he’s been rather successful with persuading others to view his treatment as unfair.

Edit: formatting

Lexam ,

The only people against circular reasoning are those it doesn’t work for.

solsangraal ,

it’s not a random thing to demonize people for the simple choice to not have kids. corporate greedlords have been shitting their pants over the declining birthrate because less kids means less money for them. no matter who’s paying to raise a kid–parents or taxpayers–that money isn’t spent on kids that don’t exist, and every industry suffers for it: food, medical, gas, clothing–everything

so if you already felt bad about not having kids, the goal is to make you hate yourself even more, and make having kids an even higher priority in your life. it seems like it should be about more than money, but for republicans it’s absolutely not.

shalafi ,

corporate greedlords have been shitting their pants over the declining birthrate

Imma need a source on that one. But yeah, a shrinking tax base and aging population is bad mojo.

solsangraal , (edited )

i don’t know about “scientific” studies about coporate panic, but there’s plenty of ink spilt

convergencemag.com/…/whos-afraid-of-the-lower-bir…

But with stable or falling populations, economic stagnation, such as that which afflicted Japan for a decade, limits opportunities to profit. And establishment think tanks worry about how to fund Social Security without taxing the rich.

LOL

medium.com/…/boomers-panic-as-birth-rates-continu…

investmentmonitor.ai/…/population-panic-low-birth…

www.cnn.com/2024/06/25/investing/…/index.html

theguardian.com/…/the-baby-bust-how-britains-fall…

economist.com/…/can-the-rich-world-escape-its-bab…

they use words like crisis, panic, catastrophe, etc. – it’s all to scare people into thinking the world is going to implode unless everyone starts furiously having babies. the world isn’t going to implode from fewer babies. profits will go down. that’s it.

edit: also-- “shrinking tax base”–fuck that. tax the fucking rich

dohpaz42 ,
@dohpaz42@lemmy.world avatar

Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:

www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

TheRealKuni ,

Okay I’m super out of the loop, where did the couchfucker thing come from?

naught ,

There was a Twitter post claiming he wrote in his book that he fucked couch cushions as a younger lad. It is (as far as we know) not true, however it caught like wildfire and is now a certified dank meme

Nougat ,

This really smacks of "bloodlines."

usualsuspect191 ,

While he’s just an adultless child

NegativeInf ,

He wants to ensure that all children have children. His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.

Klear ,

His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.

That’s unfair of you to say. The first one is confirmed to be a hoax.

BigFatNips ,

But he admitted it. He even went on the “Sectional Healing” podcast. His favorite type of couch to fuck is a chaise btw

yetAnotherUser ,

No it’s not. So far, no one has been able to disprove that Vance fucked a couch.

Bytemeister ,

A technicality, it was actually a love seat.

charade_you_are ,

Yeah, THAT’S THE REASON

LostWanderer ,

Oh, the poor little fascist doesn’t like being shat on like he rightly deserves. ROFL, he should go back to couch-san for some more one on one time.

expatriado ,

nottheonion material

Boozilla ,
@Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

The Bronze Age belief system makes these guys really fucking weird.

Librarian ,

This isn’t even bronze age bruh some primitive societies had women who specialised into certain tasks not have children for various reasons. Or even for paganist (religious) reasons.

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