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01101000_01101001 ,

So the pee isn’t stored in the balls, but the microplastics are

catloaf ,

There’s microplastics in your urine too.

Rezbit ,
@Rezbit@lemmy.world avatar

Wait so microplastics in one ball, pee in the other?

Viking_Hippie ,

Sometimes they switch places to keep you guessing

variants ,

The micro pees are in the micro P’s

Sir_Kevin ,
@Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

So is RoundUp according to an article I read a few days ago.

rob_t_firefly ,
@rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world avatar

PVC is stored in the balls.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

They say every, but no one’s checked mine yet.

zout ,

Not even in the Mayo clinic?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

They stayed above the waist.

zout ,

Fair enough, how are you doing now? Any word out from them yet?

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

We’re looking into intensive therapy programs at the moment. Hopefully we’ll find something by the end of the week, but we had to wait until my daughter’s school year was over.

zout ,

For what it's worth, I hope they find something to get you well again.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks, me too!

dditty ,

Ah man, sorry to hear you are in the midst of a health issue Flying Squid! Wishing you a full recovery. Lemmy wouldn’t be the same without you!

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you!

Pretzilla ,

They’re calling but Dr. Ham on 3 so hold the Mayo

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

You are a heavy sleeper.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Is it too much to ask for them to wait until I’m awake until they play with my balls?

Iheartcheese ,
@Iheartcheese@lemmy.world avatar

Prude

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I just don’t see what I get out of it. Other than microplastics in my balls.

metaStatic ,

microplastics are their own reward

alquicksilver ,
@alquicksilver@lemmy.world avatar

How do you think they get the microplastics in your balls in the first place? Can’t have you knowing.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

If I knew, I might have let them put some extra in for good luck!

moody ,

They said “every testicle in study.”

Yours were not in the study.

FlyingSquid ,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Can you prove it?

dodgy_bagel ,

yes.

Empricorn ,

Fine. Please urinate into a coffee mug. Someone will be by soon to collect the sample…

dubyakay ,

Pee is stored in the balls.

Chivera ,

As far as you know.

GJdan , (edited )

Every tested testi. Testis of non-testee testi’d are not tested.

DemBoSain ,
@DemBoSain@midwest.social avatar

Wait. Both left and right?

Shardikprime ,

Even the center one?

FartsWithAnAccent ,
@FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world avatar

Big oil has literally attacked our nuts.

MagicShel ,

Big oil literally attacking our deez nuts.

FartsWithAnAccent ,
@FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world avatar

Goteeem Gotusss

LemmyKnowsBest ,

Are they all speckled & colorful like in that thumbnail stock photo?

morphballganon ,

The stock photo is of plastic pieces that are too big to be considered microplastics

The microplastics are probably mostly colorless/white

Albbi ,

Aww, was kinda hoping that at least there’d be a party in my balls.

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

Rub a lil icy hot on em

variants ,

Just sound in some glitter

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

Excellent idea, my fellow intellectual! furiously destroys my own urethra with a rusty deck screw caked with shiny plastic shards

akakunai ,

Y’know nobody forced you to write this.

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

My brain did.

LemmyKnowsBest ,

If your idea of a good time involves masochistic discomfort, ok

Nutteman ,
@Nutteman@lemmy.world avatar

This is just joshin’ around, pal

LemmyKnowsBest ,

Me joshin’ around too, buddy

venusaur ,
@venusaur@lemmy.world avatar

Where’s a good place to buy organic testicles then?

variants ,

I heard the rocky mountains are good at least once you get past all the oysters

venusaur ,
@venusaur@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks! I’ll have to see if there’s a distributor in my area.

snownyte ,
@snownyte@kbin.social avatar

Scientists say discovery may be linked to decades-long decline in sperm counts in men around the world

This is no issue to me, as someone who doesn't prioritize having sex and has no intent to bring children into this awful world.

grrgyle ,

Yeah same, but I worry about all the other affects like cancers, other mutations, some third horrible thing…

nomous ,

Yeah I have no doubt all kinds of weird cancers and degenerative diseases are going to be rampant in 50 or so years.

Plastics breaking down and leeching into everything is going to make climate change look like leaded gas/paint.

Psychodelic ,

I wish I had your self-confidence! It would maybe help me get laid 😵

return2ozma ,
@return2ozma@lemmy.world avatar

I’m gay and I don’t want to have kids. This world is horrific.

morphballganon ,

It’s an issue if it accelerates the removal of abortion rights. Old crotchety white men afraid they’ll stop having heirs

stoly ,

They will die and things will go back to normal.

I_Miss_Daniel ,

Is that how polyester girls are created?

foofiepie ,

Barbie girls man. It was right there for the taking.

I_Miss_Daniel ,

They’re both OK tracks.

Polyester girl is a bit more adult oriented compared to barbie girl.

foofiepie ,

My bad I had no idea that was a song.

I_Miss_Daniel ,

No worries at all :)

Unaware of the reference, your thought makes perfect sense.

Thanks for being a positive netizen!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BxVBziFvtU

Rayspekt ,

So can we call them plasticles now?

Gradually_Adjusting ,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

When they’re made of plastic, they’re called nuticles.

aeronmelon ,

These were the testicles, here are the resulticles.

alilbee ,

We’ve obviously seen a lot of studies about the proliferation of microplastics. They seem to be in practically everything and everyone to an almost cellular level. Are there any modern studies or even just hypotheses for what the actual effects are? Has it just not been long enough for us to gather data?

AmbroisindeMontaigu ,

The problem might be that if they're everywhere there's no control group without them, so it's hard to say if an effect is actually caused by microplastics or not.

piecat ,

In a laboratory setting, presumably you could makeq conditions clean enough to grow a cell culture that is free from micro plastics. But that isn’t going to tell you much about systemic effects like in an organ or body.

Maybe you could breed mice in a clean room. Not sure what the generational half life of microplastics is…

The alternative you could probably test is levels of Microplastics. Grow a number of colonies with varying levels of microplastics and compare between them.

aesthelete ,

I have a hypothesis that the proliferation of microplastics could be related to the rising cancer rates in young people nobody can yet explain.

At very least, people should stop microwaving plastic containers.

theneverfox ,

Don’t forget the food… And the water, and the water used to grow the food, etc. Creating a clean generation of even mice would be pretty difficult, it’s just everywhere, including most of the tools we’d use to make a cleanroom

011000010111001101110011 ,

Yes. Dr Shanna Swan wrote a book about it called Countdown. She’s proven that it is having a direct impact on our reproductive system as an endocrine disruptor.

SkyezOpen ,

Eh, humanity is overrated anyway. I’m not an extinctionist, but if we wipe ourselves out that would pretty funny and appropriate.

FordBeeblebrox ,

Honestly after watching society and social media for the last few years…just go ahead and demolish the planet to build the bypass.

zatanas ,

Thanks for the fish.

Aux ,

The only way to improve the climate is to dramatically decrease the human population. If plastics are good at it, I say USE MORE PLASTICS!!!

Kalothar ,

This is just not true, it’s 4 companies driving almost alll climate impacting technologies, human population has been stabilizing across the board and human race is projected to peak at 10 billion.

We have the resources to accommodate that number. It’s our technology, not the people and it’s fucking corporations.

Aux ,

Human population should peak below 1B.

Kalothar ,

Ah yes, im sure you have many figures and sources of why that is a fact

…and it’s totally not your opinion “that human bad and number must go down because I’m smart and cynical”

yamanii ,
@yamanii@lemmy.world avatar

Sure, yo go first.

Aux ,

I started 3D printing all the shit for a reason!

stoly ,

The problem is that plastics are not stable. They are constantly breaking down and releasing an array of chemicals in the process. Great, now they’re inside us too. Oh. They’re inside everything else too so yay?

Klnsfw ,

Microplastics are midi-chlorian without the Force. They connect us to all that lives.

Ragnarok314159 ,

So an issue of correlation and causality.

There are a lot of gastro surgeons and specialists that are running long term studies on increased stomach and colon cancer rates in relation to microplastics. A few of them have come out and started recommending colonoscopies starting at 40 instead of 50.

Shardikprime ,

Wingus and the ping pong boys attack again

Bluefalcon , (edited )

So should i recycle my sperm instead of flushing it?

HonkTonkWoman ,

Knuckle Children deserve long & fruitful lives!

PERSONHOOD FOR KNUCKLE CHILDREN NOW!!

Bluefalcon ,

So recycle, gotcha.

RagingRobot ,

You can probably use it in a 3d printer

Bluefalcon ,

Print my own baby. Life starts at boot up!

todd_bonzalez ,

Spooling up filament straight out of my urethra.

SpacetimeMachine ,

What did you just call my wife???

Zacryon ,

I laughed so hard at this. That’s clever. Thank you. xD

Blackmist ,

No, you just wash it, ship it to Cheapistan and let them throw it in the sea.

Kanda ,

They burn it nowadays

Ragnarok314159 ,

It’s now a type of Nerf ammo.

pantyhosewimp ,

What I love about this is the canceling out of the unholy intersection of ideas in the Republican Party of forced birth and environmental deregulation.

All the evil billionaires need a plethora of desperate people so the veil of the Christian sanctity of life thing gets trotted out and behind the scenes they want maximum profit so they tear down any limit or mitigation of the collateral damage their industries cause, and wouldn’t you know it: turns out you can’t have both things. Poetic justice, really. Almost a valid argument for the existence of an Illuvitar like being.

Nikki ,
@Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

guess i gotta take them off then

ArmoredThirteen ,

I’m gettin mine removed in 3 weeks

Nikki ,
@Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

hell yea rid yourself of those micro plastics

cmbabul ,

Good for you! I still have mine, but they were disconnected a few years back, much happier with them now and I hope you will be too

TheReturnOfPEB ,

This is true. I had mine teste,d and there was one of my testicles that had way more microplastics than the other two.

Track_Shovel ,

Tested for what?

TheReturnOfPEB ,

They are testes. They are still there.

Fades ,

How does that answer their question in any way??

libretron ,

Whoosh.

stoly ,

It’s really a bad joke and people are jerks for not explaining it.

Someone who rents a place is a renter or a rentee. The testicle is still there because it was just a testee. Or something like that.

FUBAR ,

Tenant

stoly ,

That doesn’t make sense in the context of the joke.

mriormro ,
@mriormro@lemmy.world avatar

Ligma

CodexArcanum ,

Who the fuck is Steve Jobs?

loudWaterEnjoyer ,
@loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Tell me, do you like fishsticks?

ahal ,

For the genetic disorder responsible for giving him three testicles

Asidonhopo ,

Left?

Pretzilla ,

Teste’d

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