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wildcardology ,

I’ll buy $100m worth of stocks from all the public companies every month.

cm0002 ,

Genie: Listen here you little shit

andrew_bidlaw ,
@andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works avatar

For a genie it may sound like gambling.

intensely_human ,

genie just doesn’t know how to read fundamentals

andrew_bidlaw ,
@andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’m just not sure if making an ancient wishmaster aware of stock trading is a good idea.

Appoxo ,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I call it investing jf I can reason the reaons for specific stocks.

frezik ,

Stocks are liquid enough that the genie may not consider it “spending”. You could easily buy it, and then just as easily dump it. The move is also big enough that you’ll single handedly move the market in the process.

zbyte64 ,

Buy a supreme Court justice with the first 100M, then the rest of the court with the other Billion.

stiephelando ,

You’re overpaying, justices aren’t that pricey

cm0002 ,

Yea, once you’ve bought all of the SC ig you could spend the remaining 99 million on Congress or something

CheeseNoodle ,

I feel like I could easily spend that in microtransactions on some scummy mobile game.

programmer_belch ,
@programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Crash the dollar by entering the whole amount in the stock market? Or are stocks also considered gambling?

vane ,

Just buy some commercial property, island, luxury house that is worth 100M, it can be done in less then a week. 3 weeks left to think and organize how to spend 1 billion in 1 day.

Mataresian ,

No you’re getting somewhere. Buy 1B in property put it in a company. Then use that as a mortgage to get a higher loan to buy some more. This way you can in addition avoid paying taxes.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Would donations count as gifting? There are so many FOSS projects that could use the cash inflow.

If it doesn’t count, well, prepare for a deluge of hentai to show up in a month.

MNByChoice ,

Yes. You can buy their support though.

volvoxvsmarla ,

I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don’t gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you’re probably a bad businessman but you’re not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.

And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you’re basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that’s bribing and not gifting.

Underwaterbob ,

I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice

The Ethiopian famine was 30 years ago. Not that they haven’t had troubles off-and-on since then.

_stranger_ ,

I love that idea that you’d just go to your local Costco, say “One gigaton of rice please” and they give you a voucher to go to the front of the store where high value items are handed out after purchase.

JackbyDev ,

Just buy like every house lol. Actually just put in an offer for any house for a 100 mil.

BigBananaDealer ,
@BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee avatar

sorry no, credit score is bad so we refuse to sell to you

ApplyingAutomation ,
@ApplyingAutomation@lemmy.world avatar

I would guess they accept cash offers regardless of credit score?

TheRedSpade ,

That’s up to the seller, so generally yes.

DigiDemiFiend ,

Does a Gacha count as gambling? I’m still missing some ZZZ Agents and some Nikkes

AndrasKrigare ,

The Brewster’s Millions genie

fuzzzerd ,

Great movie. In this case, at end of this one you can have assets and apparently also tell your friends what you’re up to.

mvirts ,

What do you know, my brother just opened up an art auction house.

frezik , (edited )

The problem is that it’s so much money that you can clear out the inventory of almost anything you would buy while only chewing a few percent off the bankroll. Provided you can close on them in time, buying up some high end houses, or just a whole lot of land, is probably your best bet. Being a cash deal on your end helps move the paperwork faster. They’re also durable goods that don’t need a warehouse to be stored, and don’t need any maintenance for a while.

Hossenfeffer ,
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk avatar

The problem is that it’s so much money that you can clear out the inventory of almost anything you would buy while only chewing a few percent off the bankroll.

I shop at Burgess.

frezik ,

Then you have to pay to berth it somewhere, and for maintenance because your boat touches salt water. Land will just sit there until you can flip it, though you do have some property taxes and insurance. A handful of acres around Beverly Hills will do it.

DmMacniel ,
@DmMacniel@feddit.org avatar

I would buy so many windmill permits with that money.

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

Lol, just buy one house in the US.

wizardbeard ,

Most homes in the US don’t break a million in up front cost, unless you’re buying in one of the very popular “reality warp” locations that are in absurdly high demand (SF Bay area, Redmond, Dallas, New York, etc).

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

True. Maybe… 3 houses instead?

Chakravanti ,

Overpay for Monero.

The purchase would be the inflation skyrocket making those in…business…with Monero experience short buff on their previous conduct and product supply quality.

This incentivizes them into produce more products no one else can afford. It’ll buff their stock and increase their desperation to sell.

I’ll be stacked with cash to buy it all with gorram near zero oppositional bids.

If the market is short on Monero for that rate, I can buff the crypto with BTC and Bisq it to what actually fucking matters.

ICastFist ,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

I think that wouldn’t quite count as an expense as it sounds more like simple currency exchange, similar to trading 100m dollars for 90 million euros.

intensely_human ,

So your play is own all the drugs?

Etterra ,

I’ll just invest that into a nice, stable, diverse stock portfolio then, and use the dividends to both live on and start a charitable non-profit. Building shelters, donating to politicians who champion human rights, education, healthcare, founding free clinics, angel investing in co-op businesses, and funding food banks isn’t giving away the money after all. it’ll be slow going but pay broader dividends down the road.

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