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supertrucker ,

Quickie marriage with a $100 million prenup

halloween_spookster ,

Can I buy 100MM in gold?

Underwaterbob ,

Sleep with pornstar. Excessive hush money. Boom!

EnderMB ,

I would’ve thought that this could be quite simple.

  • A few flights in a private jet, or long-term purchasing for the whole month to take you wherever you want.
  • Several $250k-500k cars in each location to take you wherever you want
  • A private show from a famous band can set you back a few million. Do this each day.
  • Go to Vegas and get in a pissing content with some rich cunt where you send expensive drinks to each others table, until one folds. That’ll be a few million each night.
  • Trump spent a ton on sex, so high class hookers?
  • A few ads across multiple providers to promote something
  • Prize fights can be set up quickly, and have the best in combat sports ready in 30 days. Offer $1m per division for the winner, and do it across maybe 4-5 sports, pay for TV and streaming, set up a venue, and you’ll probably blow through it all.
mvirts ,

What do you know, my brother just opened up an art auction house.

programmer_belch ,

Crash the dollar by entering the whole amount in the stock market? Or are stocks also considered gambling?

slazer2au , (edited )

Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

brown567 ,

Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

ICastFist ,

Would donations count as gifting? There are so many FOSS projects that could use the cash inflow.

If it doesn’t count, well, prepare for a deluge of hentai to show up in a month.

MNByChoice ,

Yes. You can buy their support though.

volvoxvsmarla ,

I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don’t gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you’re probably a bad businessman but you’re not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.

And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you’re basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that’s bribing and not gifting.

DmMacniel ,
@DmMacniel@feddit.org avatar

I would buy so many windmill permits with that money.

shalafi ,

I could blow 100M monthly on AWS. Probably take me the first month to spin it all up, easy from there.

2ugly2live ,
@2ugly2live@lemmy.world avatar

Lol, just buy one house in the US.

wizardbeard ,

Most homes in the US don’t break a million in up front cost, unless you’re buying in one of the very popular “reality warp” locations that are in absurdly high demand (SF Bay area, Redmond, Dallas, New York, etc).

Prunebutt ,

Ever heard of this game called “Star Citizen”?

DmMacniel ,
@DmMacniel@feddit.org avatar

from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D

Dagnet ,

Surely that will be enough for them to finally finish the game right? COPIUM

DmMacniel ,
@DmMacniel@feddit.org avatar

I don’t think that money is the issue any more, time and scope would be the issue. Lets see if 4.0 actually arrives this year

militaryintelligence ,

Give it to me, I’ll invest it

fuckwit_mcbumcrumble ,

no gambling

Ledivin ,

Sure on stocks, but would bonds be considered gambling?

hOrni ,

Buy a few houses? How long does that take if You have cash?

Makeitstop ,

It’s taking the premise of Brewster’s Millions, which required that he not only spend the money, but that he has to have nothing left at the end, including assets. So, buying a house doesn’t work because you still own the house.

Obviously there are still plenty of ways to drop millions on stuff without having anything to show for it. Hell, it’s probably easier now than ever before. Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.

ICastFist ,

Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.

I’d rather literally burn all that cash

Viking_Hippie ,

Well if taking the rules literally, that’s allowed too!

As long as you resist whatever urge you might have to throw out the ashes before you get the billion, you’re not throwing them away!

Makeitstop ,

I wanna say they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules. And overpaying as well iirc, so you can’t offer someone millions for a sandwich that you then eat.

Plus, if we’re being pedantic, burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.

The movie also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of, but which they don’t explicitly address in the script. Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.

Viking_Hippie ,

they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules

Not in this meme, which is what I’m referring to.

And overpaying as well

So that rules out spending them in the US and several other countries…

In under-regulated capitalism, prices aren’t set at what’s fair, they’re at the maximum that they can get away with without losing too many sales/clients.

That’s by definition overpaying from the perspective of the buyer/client.

Plus, if we’re being pedantic

We are indeed. Carry on, good sir/madam/cuttlefish

burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.

Damn, you got me there. Good point 😁

The movie

Again, I was referring to the meme only, not the movie that inspired the premise

also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of

That’s a mountain sized presumption…

Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.

Good. Genies have had it too good for too long 😛

ImplyingImplications ,

Excuse me, but my waifu has plenty of assets!

brbposting ,

Mobile game, uhg! Think of the services: a month’s worth of the best eats: 90 meals from the world’s 100 most famous chefs, each flown in to serve you. (Presumably 10% would decline even $1m for a single meal.) Concerts from semi-famous bands every three nights. Boom, $100m spent!

Mobile games are easier and funnier though 😉

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