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Lauchs , in I'm not sure what to do with all the wealth if I joined this company

Hey don’t knock it, I’m pretty sure that’s more than we pay Lemmy devs.

agressivelyPassive ,

Actually, no. Still too little, but they do get slightly more.

Ddhuud , in They say every time someone logs into the fediverse a billionaire loses its wings.

Ads should not be called “served”. Food is served, something you actually want is served. Ads are pushed, shoved even.

Haui ,
@Haui@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

New and frankly awesome perspective for me. Thanks. It should be outlawed as coercion.

ProvokedGamer ,
@ProvokedGamer@lemmy.ca avatar

I’m gonna start calling it pushed

Bloodwoodsrisen , in Who would have expected
@Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oranges honestly don’t have a braincell, though I think my Toffee (looks similar to the top of a cup of coffee) takes the cake

Hadriscus ,

I have four orange siblings. It’s like having a single cat brain controlling four cat bodies

hungryphrog ,

The thruth is that all oranges share a single braincell and every orange kitty has to wait for their turn.

lolcatnip ,

I think the joke is they all share one neuron.

HonoraryMancunian ,

Your sentence contains four food/drink items

frokie , in They never admit they were just wrong

In their minds they weren’t wrong they just succeeded in stopping it

Agent641 ,

IKR? credits where its due! Thanks, crazy man with the hastily scrawled anti-mask placard

NathanielThomas ,

“Your welcome. Now we gots to get rid of the trans people.” - them, probably

tdawg , (edited ) in And you lost

For those confused:

“The Game” is a mind virus. The trick is that when you think of The Game you lose. When you lose The Game you must announce to the nearest people “I lost The Game,” thus ensuring it spreads. There is no quiting and no winning. Your only hope is everyone in existence forgets about it.

It blew up in popularity back in the 2008~2010 era of the internet when everything was cringe humor and lol random

I lost the game

mayonaise_met ,

lol

Dark_Dragon , in Its always the most entertaining

Me commenting on post with 35 likes and 0 comments

JizzmasterD ,

You went right to the danger zone

Dark_Dragon ,

Living life on the edge

Dark_Dragon ,

Living life on the edge

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

I smell jizz and dragons, bro.

JizzmasterD ,

Flaming tendrils…

johnthedoe ,

Thank you for your service

atlasraven31 , in I'm sorry :')

Grandad: “Your Charmander is cute. Kinda reminds me of the flamethrower I used in the Pacific.”

ImplyingImplications ,

Was grandad yelling “YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!”

lugal , in Astonishing

But at least the healthcare system is quite good: most people have more legs than average

psud ,

More eyes too

lugal ,

Source?

antipiratgruppen ,

Logic. Most people have two eyes. No people (AFAIK) have three or more. Some people have one or zero. That draws the average number down to less than two, making the normal number of eyes higher than the average number.

psud ,

Wait, you’re the person who said more legs than average, unsourced. Mine’s from the same obvious facts

lugal ,

That’s whataboutism. You have a source or not, don’t make it about me.

Ogeon ,

They interviewed multiple eye witnesses.

jasondj ,

I’m pretty proud to report that I have an above-average number of penises (nearly double, in fact).

However, my wife has grown more balls than I’ve ever had.

db2 , in I’m puzzled

It’s like macaroni and cheese but beefier and no cheese.

bobs_monkey ,

I like mac and cheese, but mac and cheese don’t like me and my lactose intolerant having ass. So we have the next best thing: beef stroganoff.

radioactiveradio ,

Have you tried tolerating it?

bobs_monkey ,

Yup, smells terrible

FordPrefect ,
@FordPrefect@startrek.website avatar

I’m very lactose tolerant. I tolerate the gas, I tolerate the cramps, I tolerate the bloating…

Oooh, cheesecake!

TheSean ,

You can include the cheese, the stroganoff won’t mind

Fox , in Astonishing

Normal if true

0ops ,

Dang there’s layers to this one

kablammy ,

What a gauss!

tdawg , in . It's important to recognize that peeple cum in all shapes and sizes

Yeah I cum octogons

imgonnatrythis ,

Link?

justdoit , in finally...

God I would kill for 2 real friends

pomodoro_longbreak ,
@pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’m pretty busy with work and family stuff, but if you’re looking for a pen pal I’d give it a shot.

Seraph ,
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

"Ew no"

Haha just kidding but making a point how most of us are our own worst enemy on this stuff. We want friends but don't make time for them.

pomodoro_longbreak ,
@pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works avatar

We want friends but don’t make time for them.

Definitely. I have lost really solid friends over the years, because I don’t put the work in. I’m actually not that great at being a friend to others, which I’m sure isn’t super uncommon.

Entropywins ,
@Entropywins@kbin.social avatar

Ooof tell me about it that something I've done and have had done to me. I used to think friends are something you have, then a mentor explained to me that friends are an investment and we need to invest our time and emotions into them alongside that terrible thing...being vulnerable...I hate good advice

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar
Seraph ,
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

Thank you! I knew I stole it from somewhere but didn't have a clue where from.

Archer ,

Everyone is doing so badly this feels like a humblebrag

robocall ,
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

I will be your friend

I_Miss_Daniel , in Something big
@I_Miss_Daniel@kbin.social avatar

It's always fun getting paid by Google for not being a parent to a child in my household.

Is funny how often they ask.

They seem to check if I'm still married each month as well. Easy money.

BarrelAgedBoredom ,

How much do you earn from this stuff?

The_Cleanup_Batter ,

About $0.10 - $0.15 each time they ask.

marrenia ,
@marrenia@astraea.pink avatar

I’ve already sold my soul to them - might as well get paid for it

Player2 ,

Keep in mind that if they can afford to give you that much, it must be worth more than that to whoever they are selling it to

marrenia ,
@marrenia@astraea.pink avatar

Yeah i’m aware of that :3

AgentOrangesicle ,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

Spoken like someone from the era where every human aspect of existence is commodified whether or not it is lawful or ethical.

marrenia ,
@marrenia@astraea.pink avatar

Im aware of the ethics of it but what do you propose I do? I do everything I can within reason to avoid it

AgentOrangesicle ,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

Oh, we’re all subject to it regardless of our efforts. I’m just drawing attention to the fact that you’re acutely aware of it, because older generations don’t seem to be or are only vaguely conscious of it.

fred ,

Well… except not answering their survey questions

DLSchichtl ,

The people they are selling it to buy in bulk. I would not be able to sell my own information. So if a company offers a way to make money off of my information THAT THEY ALREADY HAVE, bet. Imma take it. Never leave money on the table.

PM_ME_FEET_PICS ,

Check out Reklaim. I get to see what data gets sold to whom and a nice 20 dollar amazon giftcard about every 6 months.

PM_ME_FEET_PICS ,

I usually earn 40 cents. For the simple ones. 0.80-1.20 for the ones with more information.

I_Miss_Daniel ,
@I_Miss_Daniel@kbin.social avatar
AFallingAnvil ,
@AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca avatar

I’d be a little worried about what my spouse was googling if Google kept wondering if I’d been divorced yet.

chetradley ,

Google: Hey, how’s it going with Samantha, you guys good?

Me: Great, why do you ask?

Google, nervously: Ah, no reason bro. Just checking. You guys are so great for each other btw.

killeronthecorner , in I’d die for her
@killeronthecorner@lemmy.world avatar

If you like her hands you should see her buns

Pistcow , in This isn't a hotel for degenerates.

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