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SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

I tell you, after trying every single one of these brands it all feels the same when you stick your dick in them.

Track_Shovel OP ,

Not what they mean by ‘butt stuff’ - you added a extra syllable

hakunawazo ,

Marlon Brando would disagree while dancing tango.
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/191220f4-9ee4-4153-be63-1a867f2a5685.jpeg

Kusimulkku ,

Lies. Margarine is a lot softer than butter.

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

Listen to me when I speak.

I said all these brands feel the same but when I’m having a Rockefeller moment I will only fuck a cored out block of real grass fed butter because margarine will never be butter.

masterofn001 ,

Sir, this Wendy’s has whipped margarine.

moistclump ,

Fun fact, the 5 stages was developed as a general pattern for people with terminal illnesses coming to terms with their own death, not for people grieving the death of those close to them.

jettrscga ,

That’s true, but it became clear that others would experience similar emotions.

Also according to the Wikipedia, the author regretted writing them in a way that suggested they’re a linear progression of steps. I’ve only actually heard the steps used as a sitcom plot point (Monk, Scrubs).

ImplyingImplications ,

Also, grief doesn’t happen in stages. Someone can have accepted something one day and are then upset over it the next. They haven’t gone backwards, that’s just how grief works.

gedaliyah ,
@gedaliyah@lemmy.world avatar

Not sure who needs to hear this in a shitpost, but the Kübler-Ross “5 stages of grief” is pretty much discredited.

It’s historically significant because Kübler-Ross was the first one to really investigate and publicize the psychology of dying. We wouldn’t know what we do now without her. But one of the things we know is that the 5-stages model is wrong.

Track_Shovel OP ,

So how do we grieve?

masterofn001 ,

Bacon, ice cream, drugs.

zalgotext ,

That just sounds like a fun Thursday night

masterofn001 ,

it’s a non stop grieving party.

gedaliyah ,
@gedaliyah@lemmy.world avatar

It’s complicated, but for a lot of people, the Four Tasks are helpful.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA ,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

I can’t remember the one I saw that was the worst, it was like “you’re gonna wish you bought butter” or “you’d hope for butter, but you’d be wrong”

superkret ,

Haha! You were laboring under the misapprehension that this is “butter”!

Klear ,

Coaxed into a not butter

fdnomad ,

You were laboring under the misapprehension that this is butter, fuck you it’s margerine

billwashere ,

I want to buy this brand.

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

Unsalted margarine. Gross. Just drink canola oil straight out of the jug if your life has come to that.

Track_Shovel OP ,

Lubricate those bowels

HootinNHollerin ,

The spice must flow

Zacryon ,

We consume too much salt, which has detrimental effects. Try it a few weeks with less (not necessarily none, you need at least some) salt. You may observe that you start experiencing more interesting tastes and won’t need salt as much.

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

I’m not saying we shouldn’t cut out salt, but eating unsalted butter or margarine isn’t where to cut back. That’s for baking. If you want to cut back on salt, take the shaker off the table.

Pacattack57 ,

100% agree. Stop eating Maruchan ramen, ask for no salt on your fries. There’s lots of ways to reduce salt. Unsalted butter/margarine on your food has got to the stupidest way to cut down on your salt intake.

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

ask for no salt on your fries

Even better, don’t ask for fries.
Go buy some beans and maybe watch a YouTube video on how to cook them tasty, instead of the videos that tell you to eat raw leaves with oil on top and call it a “salad” with “dressing”. Then cook the beans and eat them, instead of ordering fast-food while watching the video of another chap, cooking food and eating it.

Rediphile ,

Beans are delicious. Potatoes/fries are also delicious. They are in no way comparable forms of deliciousness.

That would be like trying to replace my love of alpine skiing with gothic literature.

Opisek ,

We don’t eat salted butter or margarine in Europe. And we’re still just fine. You’re just used to salt so you can’t imagine not having it. It’s the same with sugar in tea. It’s hard to stop putting it in, but once you’re over the adjustment period, you don’t feel like you want to go back. Sweetened drinks in general just taste like sugar to me now. I suppose they same might be true for oversalted food.

Zacryon ,

Salt is contained in a lot of products. Got salted butter? Smear it on bread. Guess which ingredient is used in bread. Correct: salt. Maybe you put some cold cuts on it. They’ve got a lot of salt. What about cheese? Salt again. Now you move on to your coffee. You put dairy milk in it: salt. Lunch? Probably a lot of salt. Dinner? Needless to say. If you snack some chips, well, obviously it’s a shitload of salt.

Salt is everywhere. Especially in today’s food industry. Having salt is not necessarily bad for one’s health – in fact, we do need salt for our body to function – but as usual it’s the amount that matters.

And according to several dietary authorities worldwide, most people eat too much salt.

WHO:

The global mean intake of adults is 4310 mg/day sodium (equivalent to 10.78 g/day salt) (1). This is more than double the World Health Organization recommendation for adults of less than 2000 mg/day sodium (equivalent to < 5 g/day salt).
www.who.int/news-room/…/salt-reduction

FDA (USA):

Americans consume on average 3,400 milligrams (mg) of sodium per day—nearly 50%more than the 2,300 mg limit recommended by federal guidelines for people 14 years and older. Recommended limits for children 13 and younger are even lower.
www.fda.gov/food/…/sodium-reduction

Overview in EU:

International health-related organisations have issued recommendations to limit salt intake to no more than 5 or 6 g per day (see Table 3A). In the EU, most national recommendations that quantify salt intake recommend the same. […]
In the majority of European countries, the range of intake is 7 to 12 grams of salt per day
…ec.europa.eu/…/dietary-saltsodium_en

Salt is one of those substances which have large effects even in low doses. Therefore, being above the recommended intake on average increases risks of suffering mainly from:

cardiovascular diseases, stomach cancer and chronic kidney disease
…ec.europa.eu/…/dietary-saltsodium_en

So, if you’re interested in your health, try to get an overview on how much salt you consume on average. And if it’s above the recommended intake (which is usually the case), consider whether you really really can not live without salted butter or try to cut down on salt with other meals. And probably, taking the shaker off the table won’t be enough.

chemical_cutthroat ,
@chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world avatar

Look, I’m sure when you were organizing all of that into the great wall of fuck, you meant well, but I didn’t ask for it, and the fact that you assume some stranger on the internet has a diet so bad they need to have a wall of text sent to them about the dangers of their perceived salt intake is kinda insulting. So, yeah. Thanks, I guess, but please, find something else to do.

Zacryon ,

“Great wall of fuck”, that’s creative haha, I like it. xD
I’m sorry if this offended you. It really wasn’t my intention to let you feel that way. I just wanted to spread some awareness about this as it’s one of our civilisation’s great dietary problems. What you do with that piece of information is of course up to you.

and the fact that you assume some stranger on the internet has a diet so bad

I feel like you’ve not read the part where I said the following:

So, if you’re interested in your health, try to get an overview on how much salt you consume on average.

Which should show that I didn’t assume that you specifically have a bad diet. But maybe I haven’t expressed myself carefully enough.

but please, find something else to do

Unfortunately, I have to disappoint you in that as writing great walls of fuck on Lemmy, is sometimes a preferred time killer of mine. Also, my experience shows that there are also other readers on Lemmy who can be interested in such great walls of fuck.

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

Guess what water with a TDS>0 has? Salt!
Remember that nail your forgot to galvanise and it catching rust? Salt!
Remember the fancy false ceiling? Salt!
Alum, used to precipitate dissolved “hardness”? Salt!
Mineral water has minerals! Salt!

So, if you’re interested in knowing about the chemicals that make the world around you, refer to you friendly neighbourhood High School Chemistry book and have FFUUNN!

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

Zacryon ,

True true. Although you don’t suck on rusty nails.

eezeebee ,
@eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

You don’t know me!

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

Just wanted to put the point that Natrium salts are not the only salts.

ikidd ,
@ikidd@lemmy.world avatar

Margarine is fucking gross.

Swedneck ,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

it’s just solid canola oil and water lmao, do you just eat spoonfuls of it on its own? i mean i guess butter would be better to consume like that but not by much…

ikidd ,
@ikidd@lemmy.world avatar

If you don’t think you taste the difference even just on toast, then you should get your tastebuds checked.

roon ,
@roon@lemmy.ml avatar

If you go to Omega Mart in Area 15, they have some products on the shelf that say “who told you this was butter?”

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/3097dbb6-4969-4840-85ce-f326a10ba745.png

papertowels ,

This is in Las Vegas, of anyone needed further contact

AFC1886VCC ,

You forgot stage 6: joy

“It’s not butter, but I don’t even like butter!”

Kedly ,

Ok, but here me out: Margarine is superior

Track_Shovel OP ,

I like becel

Kedly ,

Hell yeah!

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

“Yeah! Margarine doesn’t have cholesterol!”, said the mess manager while pocketing the savings.

Kedly ,

Tbh, its just because when I wanna butterlike its because I want to spread it on something and butter is a nightmare to spread

ulterno ,
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

You can just keep the butter outside the fridge for a few minutes.
Doesn’t work?

Works pretty well for home-made butter made using non-toned milk.

Also works for the brand that I tend to buy.

Kedly ,

I wish this worked for me xD Everytime I’m at someone elses place that serves butter I end up DESTROYING the bread I try and put it on xD

ulterno , (edited )
@ulterno@lemmy.kde.social avatar

Best way, use a knife and slice it thiin.
Then just place it on the bread.

If the bread is the slightest bit warm (why would you eat cold bread !?), it melts right away.

But of course, for that to work, you need to be offered the larger face of the butter instead of the little side, that people tend to slice.

I tend to apply it on toast (i.e. toasted, sliced bread) in that way, which I toasted with a few drops of groundnut oil or Ghee, and it melts (enough to spread by just touching and dragging the spoon/knife) by the time I am ready to eat.

photonic_sorcerer ,
@photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Simply scrape from the top such that you have thin flakes, these are easily spreadable even when cold.

Kedly ,

Absolutely doesnt work for me for whatever reason, even the small flakes just stay as they are as I destroy the bread trying to spread them

photonic_sorcerer ,
@photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

What kind of bread are you using? You’ll need real bread for this, not toast or wonder bread. There’s a world of difference between a real bread loaf and sugar in toast form.

Classy ,

Seed oils are disgusting. I’ll stick with butter

SSJMarx ,

Cows are even more disgusting. Gimme that margarine.

Swedneck ,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

taste-wise butter is like, slightly better? but the price is so hilariously not fucking worth it in the least.

Plus, you can get margarine with added omega 3! As someone who fucking hates fish, that’s pretty nice.

Zacryon ,

Where I live, Margarine has to have a fat content of at least 80 % otherwise it is not allowed to be called Margarine. Guess what happens? Even there companies try to cut costs and oversell less fatty water as kind of Margarine.

hakunawazo ,
  • Stages of grease FTFY
Rediphile ,

I really want someone to sell legit butter but marketed as ‘I can’t believe it’s not margarine!’

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

And I want to make a sparkling wine and market it as The Beer Of Champagnes.

wander1236 ,
@wander1236@sh.itjust.works avatar

I know it’s a meme, but I do honestly prefer I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter over most real butters (nothing beats Kerrygold) and other margarines.

It tastes and feels enough like butter to me to work well on bread and such and it doesn’t have the strong smelling milk proteins.

Nuke_the_whales ,

I noticed that lots of companies call margarine “vegan butter” or similar lately

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