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tacosanonymous ,

This seems pretty fucking dark even for a shitpost.

Aux ,

Not OP, but I have much darker jokes for you. But I’m afraid this whole Lemmy instance will be closed down by authorities if I post any of them.

PoolloverNathan ,

Go ahead; .world is getting too big anyway.

Mikina ,

deleted_by_author

    •
    lisquid420 ,

    can we stop with the dark humor = minority (omg I’m so funny)?

    please? it’s not dark humor, it’s boring.

    Mikina ,

    I guess you are right.

    kionite231 ,

    DO IT!

    Aux ,

    Ok, something milder, without any racism or other shit like that, just a happy kids’ song about nuclear war. Here’s rough Google translation of lyrics into English. Great song to sing along in the kindergarden! I mean every kid wishes to be nuked and can’t wait for the moment!

    cows_are_underrated OP ,

    Shit is also quite dark so…

    kionite231 ,

    Mine is green🟢

    EvolvedTurtle ,

    You should get that checked out It’s supposed to be red

    CptEnder ,

    Bro I had a major scare last month. TP came back straight blood red. Was like great got the colon C or even hemorrhoids… Nope just crappy low quality TP scraping my gentle, milksoft asshole flesh. Switched back to the nice stuff and nothing but beautiful brown now baby.

    Maggoty ,

    Something something food something kids.

    Etterra ,

    NGL, if she showed up to help me I’d demand to know who funded all that shit and why they couldn’t have spent that money on actual public healthcare.

    Dorkyd68 ,

    Alcohol will just make you more depressed eventually. Haven’t tried fentany… yetl, will slam one iv style and report back

    BonesOfTheMoon ,

    Omigod don’t. It’s so bad.

    Blackmist ,

    Now nothing is fun and nobody trusts to not to steal anything that isn’t nailed down.

    cley_faye ,

    Because some people think that getting high as a kite is a suitable way to not be depressed.

    Evotech ,

    Have you tried generating ai porn. That’s pretty fun

    PenisWenisGenius ,

    More states are banning porn. Anyone that doesn’t already have a locally hosted ai porn generator is just asking for blue balls at this point.

    Assman ,
    @Assman@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Hey I’m not an addict. I can stop having a good time whenever I want.

    Sam_Bass , (edited )

    Probably because the high isnt permanent and the higher you go the farther you fall. Long falls hurt a helluva lot

    YarHarSuperstar ,
    @YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world avatar

    They’re joking of course. Nobody wants this life.

    Signtist ,

    I’ve seen plenty of people who think they could take hard, addictive drugs and not get addicted, or that the addiction would be a small price to pay for the highs of the drug. Plenty of people have far too much self confidence for their small understanding of the situation. It’s why drugs like heroin are still around; if everyone intrinsically understood that they’re not worth it, they’d have disappeared a long time ago.

    cows_are_underrated OP ,

    I still don’t get how people still use Heroin. Like, its common fucking sense that Heroin isn’t something to play around with. Everyone that barely knows anything about drugs knows, that its highly addictive. Even if it might be not as bad as other drugs(in terms of physical damage) it is a very dangerous drug and even tho, most people don’t know the details they know that its quite dangerous.

    BrucePotality ,

    I think a lot of the time people get prescribed pain killers for legitimate injuries then they become addicted to opiates and when the prescription runs out they seek them from another source ex. Heroin

    Signtist ,

    Yeah, that’s part of the reason why I just dealt with the pain whenever I was prescribed stuff like Vicodin. I don’t want to risk it at all.

    SnokenKeekaGuard ,
    @SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    Try a new sport! Like drunk driving

    PhobosAnomaly ,

    Try electrical engineering! All you need is a socket and a fork!

    ThePyroPython ,

    (Laughs in superior Type G)

    RickAstleyfounddead ,

    Its legal with a fees

    21Cabbage ,

    Some of you kids have never been to Nebraska and it shows… Don’t even know how to grab a six pack and enjoy an evening on the back roads after work.

    problematicPanther ,
    @problematicPanther@lemmy.world avatar

    I feel like drunk racing should be a sport. I mean, we have 24 hours of lemons, why not drunk racing too?

    JJROKCZ ,

    I don’t see the connection… the 24 hr Le Mans race is completed by multiple drivers switching out every few hours so no one is driving 24 hours straight. That’s not how endurance racing works

    problematicPanther ,
    @problematicPanther@lemmy.world avatar

    no, not Le Mans, Lemons. it’s completely different.

    bizarroland , (edited )

    24 hours of mikes hard lemonades race. Could be fun and you have a *built in sponsor

    Apytele ,

    While arcade games are stimulating, both opiates and alcohol are depressant drugs and well known for causing depression. Depression isn’t sadness, it’s slowness, emptiness, and an inability to get things done. Opiates and alcohol obviously do that in the moment, but repeated use eventually results in a prolonged depression that persists long after the substance is eliminated from the body.

    bizarroland ,

    It's also feeling tired all of the time, losing interest in activities you previously enjoyed, not experiencing pleasure in sex, unexplained weight gain, listlessness, and only seeing the bad in yourself and in the world.

    smokebuddy ,

    Hi, kids, do you like violence?

    Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids?

    fernandu00 ,

    My name is…

    troglodytis ,

    What

    rickyrigatoni ,

    Osmosis Jones

    Swedneck ,
    @Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    bond name’s the james

    TotallyNotSpez ,

    Unexpected Slim Shady deserves instant upvotes.

    gggg ,

    bro please i promise its not addictive if you boof it please bro this is a different strain

    midnight_puker ,
    @midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Everything is less fun since I got clean.

    LaggySnake ,
    @LaggySnake@lemmy.world avatar

    sounds like an expensive hobby

    cows_are_underrated OP ,

    It depends. As far as I know Acid isn’t that expensive.

    EtherWhack ,
    @EtherWhack@lemmy.world avatar

    Those will just make you depressed in other ways

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