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What are the worst names you could give a baby boy?

Hello you awesome people,

Friends are having a boy and everyone they know wants to push a name on the child. So I decided to be the best friend they could have and to offer only bad, ugly or horrendous names to the lucky parents so they could have a laugh. I already send them some names and dictators, Smeagol, Steve and Juan-Esteban.

So please, people or Lemmy, give me the worst names you could give a child, so that I can help them as a good friend!

Ps: don’t worry, I’ve already planned some meals to drop off when the gremlin will be there to feed the parents. And some take-out vouchers so they won’t get food poisoning

HelixDab2 ,

Any “creative” spelling of a common name.

e.g., Jahnithun.

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Le-a

The “-” isn’t silent

solidsnake2085 ,
@solidsnake2085@lemmy.world avatar

Airwrecka

RandomVideos ,

Robert’); DROP TABLE Students;–

communist ,
@communist@beehaw.org avatar

He said worst, not best.

Poiar ,

The post clearly asked for the worst names, not the very best /s

So_zetta_slowpoke ,

Little Bobby Tables, we call him.

backhdlp ,
@backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Spewart

I will not elaborate

FriendBesto ,

Great for a meme but not so great for in real life: Cthulhu All-Spark

businessinsider.com/internet-names-couples-baby-c…

The_Jewish_Cuban ,
@The_Jewish_Cuban@hexbear.net avatar

Blood Bank

TheGalacticVoid ,

Rizz

Slaydolf

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

Any name that can be spelled a million different ways

ILikeBoobies ,

But that’s all names

Li, Le, Lee, Ly, Leigh

Frostbeard ,

Michael McIntyre nails it

youtu.be/69UlVQpYwUE?si=IuB4OC88FPty49T5

tias ,

I know of someone who named her son “Scrotum”.

rbhfd ,

Gotta remember where you came from.

communist ,
@communist@beehaw.org avatar

Did she hate him or something?

tias ,

It was a debate show on Swedish public television probably a decade ago. They were debating what you should be allowed to name your children (or not). More specifically the name was “Pungen” which is the determined form in Swedish, i.e. more like “The Scrotum”. I don’t remember why she wanted to name her son The Scrotum, it might have been some weird pagan tribute to the father. But as I recall it didn’t appear to come out of hate.

The name had been denied by the Swedish IRS (which decides who can be named what). I remember there was another kid named “Laser” who had been approved.

Littleborat ,

Laser is kind of cool name. As a middle name I would take it.

Aria ,

Did you ask why?

datavoid ,

Does he go by Scrotey, or Scrotes McGotes?

pugsnroses77 ,

Richard Dickson

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Jr.

They just call him Little Richard

rosymind ,

His knickname: Lil’ Dick

waz ,

I would call him Ricky Dicky.

root_beer ,

When I was working at a car dealership twenty years ago, I knew a salesman with that name. Before he sold cars, he was a relatively wealthy lawyer who got busted and disbarred for embezzlement or something to that effect, I never knew or cared enough about the details.

Not as bad, but still not great, my graduate advisor’s name was John Johnson. It still is but I’ve been done with all that for eight years.

abclop99 ,

Preserved Fish

aaaaaaadjsf ,
@aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net avatar

Petrus.

son_named_bort ,

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

ook_the_librarian ,
@ook_the_librarian@lemmy.world avatar

That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard.

lightnsfw ,

Based off the Jeffs I’ve known… Jeff.

TheSlad ,

William Joseph James Robert.

It sounds distinguished until you realize the diminutive is Billy Joe Jim Bob. Which incidentally is really fun to say fast.

EssentialCoffee ,

William Charles is another one.

Billy Chuck.

funkless_eck , (edited )

Cunt

edit: why are you downvoting me? I’m right.

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