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BugleFingers ,

Being unnecessarily wasteful with food. Not even attempting to save it or tossing all away over some easily resolvable issue like “I’m not hungry right now” Throws in trash.

Kacarott ,

Fake nails. I have nothing against people who wear them, but for some reason it just instantly makes me think we are not compatible at all.

nikaaa ,

wearing makeup or earrings

turns out i just don’t like that

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

No passions or hobbies.

No, traveling isn’t a hobby.

sockenklaus ,
@sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works avatar

I get that but why is traveling not a hobby?

Xantar ,

I guess because spending money is not a hobby in itself. But idk.

lud ,

Traveling isn’t about spending money though. It’s expensive but that’s not the point.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

it’s also not necessarily expensive, depending on where you go and how you get there.

callouscomic ,

It’s just blowing money to go exist in other places. Some people do it to simply avoid boredom. I’d argue it could be a hobby if they are putting effort into learning or collecting things or something.

Traveling and just being there is not a hobby. Traveling to, for example, visit certain types of sites or museums, maybe build a collection of photos or memorabilia, could be considered a hobby.

Kacarott ,

Isn’t doing things to avoid boredom exactly what a hobby is? :D would you consider hiking to be a hobby?

RootBeerGuy ,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

That’s a weird take on this. Which person who loves travelling then proceeds to do absolutely nothing at the destination? I mean, maybe you met people like that, but I have never in my life talked to anyone like that.

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

Because you don’t have to work hard to master it

sockenklaus ,
@sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works avatar

Since when is “mastering it” part of the definition of a hobby?

pH3ra ,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

Since I said so: the post was asking what’s my deal breaker when it comes to relationships and for me it’s that your able to put effort, practice and perseverance into a craft, a hobby, a passion or whatever.

It might not be your definition, but it’s mine.

Tangent5280 ,

Well said.

For me, it’s “Being a Foodie”. Everybody who has ever lived on the planet has been enthusiastic for food.

I’ve only ever met one foodie I respected as such. He ate everything, even stuff that made him gag, because of reasons only he knows. He wanted the experience or something.

Man could eat a burger and tell you where the wheat was from, how ripe the tomatoes in the ketchup where, the dashed hopes and dreams of the cow, everything. He could look at ingredients from afar or smell things that have no smell to me and tell in how many days it would be perfectly ripe. He ate mono flavored stuff (Like rice with nothing else added or olive oil), used salt like a vampire hunter to detect faint tastes, and I still think he must have some undiagnosed lifestyle thing like Synesthesia, except for taste. He reverse engineered recipes for fun.

It was magic, and until this dude I didn’t consider food to be an actual hobby. Every other foodie I’ve met just liked eating tasty food, which pretty much everyone does.

sockenklaus ,
@sockenklaus@sh.itjust.works avatar

Don’t get me wrong: You’re 100 % entitled to your preferences and your definition of a hobby.

It was just unusual for me to equate a hobby with putting effort and perseverance into something. For me a hobby is something you simply do for your enjoyment in your free time on a more or less regular basis.

But hey: Definitions differ.🤷

KISSmyOSFeddit , (edited )

Pointy shoes with high heels.

They destroy your feet, make walking long distances impossible and show me she values unhealthy beauty standards over her own body.

Also, shaved and re-drawn eyebrows, for similar reasons.

laughterlaughter ,

Guys, I don’t necessarily agree with what OP said (I didn’t downvote him, though), but why are you downvoting him for freaking answering the question?!! The question says “a trivial thing,” (not “a reasonable thing”) and OP answered with a trivial thing. Vote accordingly.

This is like downvoting unpopular opinions in a thread about unpopular opinions.

callouscomic ,

Okay, but also, who cares about internet votes? I never vote and I never look at my votes. I don’t understand why people care about this or why it’s even a feature. It doesn’t work, people are clearly stupid about it, why does it exist.

laughterlaughter ,

That’s a totally different topic.

I usually gauge internet votes with relevant content. I don’t take them too seriously, though. For more technical questions, it can help.

But of course there’s the occasional hivemind that is irritating - like if someone is asking for help when grieving a lost one, the most upvoted comment is some dark joke meme.

Saizaku ,

They’re probably being downvoted for making a huge leap just from wearing pointy highheels lol. They turned a trivial reason into a non-trivial characterization/flaw about a person.

laughterlaughter ,

I don’t know, man. If you dismiss someone for anything trivial, chances are you are judging their whole character to the point of not even dating them.

Here’s a highly upvoted comment:

No passions or hobbies.

No, traveling isn’t a hobby.

It’s really not too different from the high heels one.

Anyway. It is what it is.

finn_der_mensch ,
@finn_der_mensch@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

The shoes I get but what’s unhealthy about shaving and redrawing eyebrows? Just curious, if you just don’t like that then that’s valid ofc.

KISSmyOSFeddit ,

Eyebrows keep the sweat out of your eyes during sports. I want to live an active outdoor life with my partner, if she shaved her brows off chances are she isn’t into that.

Coconut1233 ,

That’s fair, I kinda imagined working with someone elses code on the same project

laughterlaughter ,

Did you reply to the wrong thread?

Coconut1233 ,

Yep

laughterlaughter ,

Whoops!

sugartits ,

She said “lol”

Like actually said “lol”. As if it was a word.

Didn’t laugh. Like, she replaced her laughing with this, saying “lol” when she found something funny.

Deepus ,

Lol

boogetyboo ,
@boogetyboo@aussie.zone avatar

I say lol occasionally, only for things that are dumb funny. Equivalent of a snort I guess?

“Hey did you hear Steve bought a jet ski? Where does he think he’s going to use it? The local pool?”

“Really? Lol. What a dumbarse”

Like that. If shit is actually funny I laugh like a human.

Jakeroxs ,

Same

sugartits ,

Imagine that… But it going so far that you actually lose the ability to laugh and instead use “lol”

Yeah. It was that.

Rev3rze ,

I’m fairly certain she didn’t lose the ability to laugh. I don’t think that’s entirely possible. Either you weren’t as funny as you think or she was awkward and nervous and that suppressed her real laughter. Or, hang on, there’s a third option which is she’s rotted her brain by being terminally online to the point where real experiences lose their meaning. Actually now that I think about it, that’s probably what you’re getting at here.

Fuck, wait a minute, am I losing my touch with reality and human connections?

RampantParanoia2365 ,

Lol, or el-o-el?

TheBlue22 ,

If they smoke

SidewaysHighways ,

I wouldn’t consider that trivial though

pingveno ,

I just don’t like ashy kisses…

SidewaysHighways ,

I feel you big time!

The taste, the smell, the hassle,

It’s a huge deal!

laughterlaughter ,

Look at this guy, getting kisses!!!

corsicanguppy ,

My buddy said this for years … until he found an exception. Oh, was she gorgeous and kind and just a joy to be around when she wasn’t smoking. The universe has a sense of humour, and it’s mean.

RootBeerGuy ,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Your buddy: I can… fix…her…

Narrator: he started smoking 2 days later.

rageagainstmachines ,

Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.

RizzRustbolt ,

Insisting on having sex with me.

Melatonin ,

I don’t understand. Like, they just want that to be a part of the relationship? Or they’re pushy?

lesbian_seagull ,

Maybe ace or demisexual?

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

define… “insist”, because that’s reading like “I don’t like people who rape me”, which seems reasonable and not a small thing.

scops ,

I have an ex with the same name as one of my sisters. You do that once, and it gets confusing and awkward. Twice? People start coming to really odd conclusions.

laughterlaughter ,

Kinda sucks, because I occasionally come across really women I would otherwise pursue for a relationship. But then they have the same name as my sister or my mom - NOPE.

trolololol ,

What’s wrong with names? What if it’s a different name but the looks are exactly the same?

Red neck approves

ChexMax ,

My brother’s last three serious relationships all have hadthe same name. It’s not his fault that name was popular 3 years after he was born. The girls are nothing alike.

That said it’s a struggle not to call the current one New “Sarah”

pingveno ,

Tammy One

Tammy Two

Tamara

RBWells ,

Picky eater or stuck on music from their youth.

Someone else mentioned libido mismatch, I don’t consider that trivial.

Knoxvomica ,

Screw that, I’ll listen to Nofx until I die.

RBWells ,

But only that? A lot of guys are so nostalgic about music they do not listen to new stuff, taste never grows or evolves at all, that is a bad sign to me.

Not saying abandon old music. Just open minded to new things, not stuck.

Valmond ,

Must say I have a hard time getting to know new music in this so rapidly changing music world.

I was used to brick and mortar stores and friends having wildly different tastes in music, nowadays I think it’s complicated to just duck under the load of influence for commercial music (and other too I guess).

How am I even supposed to find new music I like, and that I can support, without enormous efforts?

RBWells ,

Well I miss Google Play Music so much, it was creepy how well that algorithm worked, and it could find me very local concerts. But streaming in general and we have a good community radio station here, that’s how I find so much new stuff. What old music do you like? Maybe we should start a Lemmy community to recommend bands, based on bands people like?

Valmond ,

Good idea!

I listen mostly to 1980-90 pop rock and french music :-)

RBWells , (edited )

Hmm, try Misterwives and Tennis. And now I’m thinking about it, also Lady Gaga, The 1979, Leon Bridges, Beyonce.

Valmond ,

Hey thaaanks! Will do!

laughterlaughter ,

Man, with music, you like what you like.

That’s like saying your favorite desert is creme brule, and you order it all the time because it’s fucking delicious.

However, thanks for sharing.

LucasWaffyWaf ,

I will say on the picky eating habit, that can be a common behavior seen in autistic folks. With me my picky eating stems from texture - if a food feels weird in my mouth I get nasty gag reflex or vomit. Doesn’t matter how often I try, there’s foods and ingredients that, if I chew on it, I will vomit. It fucking sucks. I have to swallow my edibles whole with water cause most gummies make me vomit if I chew them.

Obviously not all picky eating habits are autism related, but myself and the other autistic picky eaters I know are just as frustrated, if not more, about having those habits.

Being stuck on music though, that I can understand. Even with me having my comfort zones, it’s always an occasion worth celebrating when I find an artist or album that absolutely SLAPS me silly from how rad it is.

hihellobyeoh ,

ADHD here, big texture issues too, I still won’t eat nuts or beans, due to similar reasons (they flake apart in my mouth and I hate the feeling), I have gotten better though, I’ll eat peppers and a lot of vegetables I hated as a kid.

pingveno ,

As a kid, I wasn’t a picky eater, but I wouldn’t eat asparagus. Eventually I started eating it. One of the few common American foods I turned my nose up at? Chef Boyardee and similar canned soup noodles. To me, they were always overcooked pasta in a bland, overly salty, homogeneous tomato liquid. I love soup, but screw that.

RBWells ,

This makes sense but would be such a mismatch with me. Also I think kids who do not get early exposure to flavors and textures can also develop into picky adults. It’s not a judgement exactly, but a hard no nonetheless.

I am opposite and enjoy novel textures and smells and flavors, enjoy cooking and eating (and cocktails!). It’s nice to share that with people. Obviously nobody likes EVERYTHING, I sure don’t, but just having that open mind about flavors is important to me.

Music, same - I just enjoy it so much, finding new songs, going to concerts. It’s not that I don’t like old - we went to see Foo Fighters, lol, and just recently Thievery Corporation, but the list of what I like has expanded so much since I was young till now. My husband listens most to basically dad rock but will come out to see new bands and quite often is so impressed and loves the music and performance, and he will hear stuff me or the kids are playing, ask about it and add it to his playlist. His mind is not closed.

corsicanguppy ,

music from their youth

You mean Sesame Street or Nickelback? What kind of ‘youth’? What if it’s Nirvana or the stones?

Kacarott ,

If it’s the SpongeBob squarepants theme then it’s ok. In fact that’s a bonus.

EnderMB ,

It’s surprising how being stuck on music from your youth is common. While I do listen to new bands, I was reminded the other day that Futures by Jimmy Eat World is almost twenty years old.

Melatonin ,

Is bad breath trivial? True story.

meekah ,
@meekah@lemmy.world avatar

No

boogetyboo ,
@boogetyboo@aussie.zone avatar

Nah. It’s a health thing, a hygiene thing, and a lack of social awareness. Nothing trivial about it

pastabatman ,

Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.

nutsack ,

this is why i like to date people who don’t care about music.

nonagonOrc ,
@nonagonOrc@lemmy.world avatar

Music is incredibly important to me, and the music tastes of me and my girlfriend could not be much more incompatible. We have a great relationship though, it can be a strength: we challenge each other to broaden our horizons. But it does lead to suboptimal car rides haha

grasshopper_mouse ,
@grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world avatar

I couldn’t date a cop

JeSuisUnHombre ,

That’s just a safety tip

laughterlaughter ,

Just the tip.

corsicanguppy ,

My sister in law is a cop when she’s not moonlighting as EMT or Fire. Met my wife Through her as the mutual friend. Her whole family is great.

I just don’t know where this toxic generalization comes from.

captainlezbian ,

Probably just salty about the tear gas. Maybe they just can’t get over being beaten to near hospitalization with a bicycle for protesting peacefully.

ChexMax ,

Do you actually not know where the generalization comes from, or do you just not like it?

RampantParanoia2365 ,

What you want to do is hit back, and read a few headlines. I guarantee you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.

corsicanguppy ,

People who downvote EMTs and firefighters have a special place in hell.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

People who downvote American cops have a special place in heaven.

MeDuViNoX ,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

Something something, fuck the police!

RootBeerGuy ,
@RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Not like that

pingveno ,

In a tight latex police uniform?

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