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originalucifer ,
@originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com avatar

i like to remind her every time her phone rings that its likely, for her.

"you should get that, i think thats for you" x 17 years

Nemo ,

Everytime someone sneezed, and she says “Gesundheit”, I quietly ask her, “Did you just say Kazoo Tight?”.

BossDj ,

When she’d say “I guess” I’d pretend to have heard “heck yes” and get excited. Then I started with my kids. Now my daughter does it to her own friends and I’ve never been more proud

frauddogg ,
@frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml avatar

I have a Mickey Mouse impression. A very, very vulgar Mickey Mouse impression.

qjkxbmwvz ,

…let me get this straight, you’re divorcing Minnie because she’s very silly?

PaulSmackage ,
@PaulSmackage@hexbear.net avatar

Same, but it’s a Goofy impression.

tigeruppercut ,

or the old Donald Duck one

Nomecks , (edited )

Whenever she tells me she’s going to do something I react “Hey honey, you should go and do something.”

“I’m going to the store to get some milk”

“You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk”

“I’m going to wash some pants.”

“Honey, I think maybe you should wash some pants.”

Juno ,

I am going to write you a reply “Sometimes I think about narrating my own life” I said to myself as I finished typing.

mayo_cider , (edited )
@mayo_cider@hexbear.net avatar

I’m single, so I have to settle to annoying everyone else around me by pretending like I’m going to start talking about politics

Works every time

folkrav ,

Sometimes when she tells me she’s going to do… anything, really, I just say something along the lines of “no”, “out of the question” or “you’re not allowed to do that”. Almost 15 years later, it didn’t get old - for me! - yet. As for her, I think at this point she just tuned out these things hahaha

some_guy ,

She hates the USA southern accent. While I grew up in a midwestern family, we spent some years in Tennessee when I was a kid. I pulled a hard southern accent on her yesterday. For like twenty seconds.

uhmbah ,

When I leave her, just to go to the bathroom, or to the store or leave her in the car while I go into the store, I’ll say, “See you tomorrow” x 15 yrs

tigeruppercut ,

Sometimes when I come back into the room from the bathroom I’ll ask if she missed me.

cheesymoonshadow ,
@cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world avatar

Me (about to head down to the kitchen): Do you want anything from downstairs?

Him: No.

Me: Just me?

Him (with a sigh and a laugh): Yes, just you.

x19 years

SuiXi3D ,
@SuiXi3D@kbin.social avatar

She squirms when I gently mess with the little ringlets of hair on the back of her neck. It’s cute.

makingStuffForFun ,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state “you’re a very useful girlfriend”.

I only do it a couple times a year at most.

The look of disdain is priceless.

She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.

“What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!”

Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.

Too much fun.

GrappleHat , (edited )
@GrappleHat@lemmy.ml avatar

I sneak up behind her and give her “tiger rubs”, which is aggressive up & down motion on the ribs & side meat.

She loves it x20 years

kurcatovium ,

I do at least two things that she pretends to hate, but definitely does not.

  1. When discussing something I always reply this way:
  • Her: Come on, say something.
  • Me: Something.
  1. When she needs to do something in the future:
  • Her: Remind me, that I have to buy milk tomorrow.
  • Me: instantly You know, you have to buy milk tomorrow.
Kecessa , (edited )

That second one followed by “I’ve done my part so don’t forget!”

groupofcrows ,

Wife: Promise you will always listen to me.

Me: I promise to listen but not do what you say.

BodePlotHole ,

Inappropriate nicknames. Wait for her to do something slightly embarrassing, make a nickname out of it, then strategically use it in awkward situations.

My current frontrunners are “Whisp-a-doody”, “FUPA-diaper”, and “Dumptruck full o’ dead cows”.

That last one isn’t anything she did, but something we both witnessed that really upset her.

Kecessa ,

I do that with everyone that tells me “I’m going to the bathroom”

I reply with “Good luck! 👍”

pythonoob ,

I usually say “have fun”

Mothra ,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

I say either but my favourite is “may the Force be with you”

Passerby6497 ,

My preferred response has always been “Hope everything comes out ok”

peopleproblems ,

that’s even better

Kecessa ,

Oh wow, that’s good!

los_chill ,

I always go with: “Just pee your pants.”

Panurge987 ,

I like to respond with, “Why? What’s in the bathroom?”

spittingimage ,
@spittingimage@lemmy.world avatar

Not recently, but this is one I’m particularly proud of. She texted me to complain that she was music-less in the office because her MP3 player failed.

Well of course I phoned and was able to sing one line about never giving her up before she hung up the call.

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