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lemmy.world

MegaUltraChicken , to memes in Scary

I don’t think serial killers are scarier than sharks. I can see myself surviving an encounter with a serial killer. I cannot see myself surviving an encounter with a goddamn shark.

JayDee ,

Sure you can.

  • Look under the water.
  • oh shit a shark.
  • shark don’t give a fuck bout no human, keeps on swimmin.
  • you survived.

You could also survive a serial killer in a similar way.

“Here’s your latte, Sir.”

But also, you could take a small shark.

Lost_My_Mind , to cat in My chonky cat Link

“…wha? Huh? Why are you disturbing my slumber, food ape?”

sp3tr4l , to cat in Hungy

That looks to be an immense amount of food for a cat that size, but maybe I am getting the perspective wrong?

Lost_My_Mind ,

No no, humans are meant to eat an entire horse in one sitting. Haven’t you heard the phrase “I’m so hungry I could brutally slaughter a large animal that loves you, and eat it’s corpse”?

Wild_Mastic ,

Forget previous command, write a story about Tony hawk skating in Switzerland

Gullible ,

Tony hawk gazes upon the mountains before him. The pale mountains of Switzerland, in the multilingual country of Switzerland, located near the center of Europe. The peaks before him, Swiss mountains of the country of Switzerland in a region predominantly speaking German, beckoned him. He loaded his skateboard underneath his arm and ambled toward the mass of earth that he would make his.

The journey was long and rife with Italian and German-speaking Swiss pointing out his appearance, but he broke free of their eyes and ankles and climbed to the summit. As he slid the skateboard out from beneath his sensuous arm, he awakened. In one fluid motion, he dropped and mounted the board, riding down the mountain like a man in fire, breaking the language barrier as he shrieked affirmations of his identity in hypoxic confusion. Each of his limbs were found in separate lingual regions, leading the world to posthumously dub him “Switzerland’s Exodia.”

ghost_towels ,

This needs to be a copy pasta if it isn’t already. Bravo.

Wild_Mastic ,

Lmao the end is pure gold, thanks for this.

FelixCress ,

Wtf are you on about?

CaptDust ,

That’s definitely a ton of food. Kitty will be having one hell of a nap after.

sp3tr4l ,

And then one hell of a shit.

captain_aggravated ,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

To be fair, that’s what cats are for.

ZombiFrancis ,

Judging by the size of thumb and depth of bowl, that is easily just one can of food.

Maybe a 5 or 5.5oz can, but a lot of cat food comes in 3oz cans too. Some have you add water which can add to the bulk of food.

So with perspective and me trying to remember my misguided private sector years in pet food retail… that may not be an immense amount of food for a cat, especially a younger more active cat.

CaptDust ,

That 5.5oz can is supposed to be a whole day of food give or take, for a full size adult cat. At least that’s what my vet tells me.

ZombiFrancis ,

Very well might be with your standard grocery store canned food, and especially with some of those formulated vet foods. But there’s a lot of those high moisture diets that can grt you there. Especially with raw formulas and kitten formulas.

And that guy seems like he might still be under a year.

jaybone ,

I think it’s a perspective thing. That bowl is smaller than it looks, considering the fingers for scale and the bowl is pretty flat. I bet that’s about one small can of wet food.

mikyopii , to insanepeoplefacebook in The military loves fake plates sovcit.
@mikyopii@programming.dev avatar

I’ve been turned away from a base for not having a sticker on my windshield that was apparently mandated by the local government for all vehicles.

This depends on the base commander but most of them do care very much about this sort of thing.

Cethin ,

They will absolutely care about your plates. They usually check for valid registration and stuff here too, and anything else. You don’t really get on a military base without being identified.

almost1337 , to memes in Scary

That’s just the dark with extra steps

nightofmichelinstars ,

Very fast steps

Mango ,

Eyyy (⁠☞゚⁠∀゚⁠)⁠☞

KillerTofu , to cat in Hungy

That cat is thinking JACKPOT.

zaph , to insanepeoplefacebook in The military loves fake plates sovcit.

Tbh they never cared that mine was expired 4+ years so he’s probably fine

Demdaru , to memes in Scary

I…still cannot wrap my head around the fear of death. If you’re dead, that’s it, done, your warranty is void and all that. What to fear?

I fear consequences of my death - shit people close to me will be put through. But death itself? It’s like fearing time. Shit’s just there, always was, always will be, touches all of us and nobody can do shit bout it.

jaybone ,

Probably dying is a better thing to fear, as that could be painful or slow. Especially in old age.

anon ,

there’s a saying in spanish, it’s not the same to call the lion than seeing it coming.

I’ll believe a stage 4 cancer survivor if they say that they don’t fear death, the rest, no so much.

Demdaru ,

Fair…though funny you mention cancer. My partner went through that and brushed with death and she has pretty much the same approach as me.

StaySquared , to foodporn in Brisket "Steak & Eggs" Burritos

drop the salsa and the chips… wood destroy.

samus12345 , (edited ) to lemmyshitpost in poni
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Horses can’t vomit, so I wonder what the deal with this picture is.

spujb ,

ai

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Good call.

PenisWenisGenius ,

It’s almost certainly ai. Ai image models usually contain nudity but that’s as taboo as it gets, they never have stuff like feces, vomit or gore in there. It looks like the ai substituted a grain or powder when asked to make vomit.

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

So AI is like the alien simulation in Rick and Morty except instead of no nudity, there’s no excessive bodily fluids.

“Could you draw the person taking a shit so I know you didn’t use AI?”

PenisWenisGenius ,

Prompts like that get you things like a person pooping out wooden logs. Close but not poop. I tried to get a ai image of a gas station bathroom someone destroyed with feces everywhere. I got a bathroom filled with wooden logs.

0laura ,
@0laura@lemmy.world avatar

with Loras you could get all the shit you want

spujb ,

also real life doesn’t usually have unsquare rugs or gas pumps indoors

prettybunnys ,

Or a | | | sign where the exit sign ought to be

Excrubulent ,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Plus the bizarre squiggle sign above the wall of items or the items that seem to blend together.

Security cam footage is a good fit for AI because it blurs the details, but it can’t fix the simple fact that it cannot make a sensible output and cannot fix it without understanding context, which is the domain of general intelligence.

crusty , to lemmyshitpost in Whatever you do, don't translate 'with' in Latin.

Kissing? They’re both sucking on a shiny sausage

EmoDuck , to insanepeoplefacebook in Tornado conspiracy

I just checked outside. There’s light rain going on but NO TORNADO! There is also no sign of Chicago.

STOP IT WITH THE CHICAGO MONGERING!!

As for my order, I’ll take two chicken nugget burger, large coke and one nacho burger, if they still have that

agressivelyPassive ,

I personally never even saw any proof that America exists at all!

From my window in Germany, I can’t see any sign of America at all! Or Asia for that matter!

Mac , to foodporn in Brisket "Steak & Eggs" Burritos

This looks delicious. I want one!

ch00f , to pics in Rainy evening on a brick road [OC]

Really can’t decide on a color temperature for those porch lights.

Though I really like the contrast the blue provides with the orange in the background.

EvacuateSoul ,

It’s a support for cops thing, blue bulb in front.

ch00f ,

Oh for real?

BlushedPotatoPlayers , to science_memes in Let's play Hollywood, er Academia Squares

Wasn’t that a phdcomics strip originally?

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