Yeah, there’s definitely a hassle vs reward calculus that quickly gets figured. Usually the hassle side of the equation is a little too high unless its something that can be quickly and easily fixed. Like if they forgot something it’s very easy to just go “oh, and can I please get …” which usually immediately reminds them and they go grab it.
Or if the food got royally fucked then engagement can become worth it, even over something harder to fix. Like, if my steak is well done and I ordered med rare, I kinda want either a new steak or a comped meal.
Could just mean smaller friend groups as well. I conceptualize the major difference as introverts recharge by being alone and extroverts recharge by being around people. There was some recent research that disputed the concept of introverts and extroverts altogether, noting that when introverts became more regularly connected to people, their mental health improved. Introversion might just be the sum of our fears about connection that keep us from living a fuller life, with avoidance taking the role of an unhealthy coping mechanism for being unwilling to face our social fears. I say THAT because a lot of research has come to the conclusion that we are wired for connection and that the presence of close relationships is a strong predictor of the length of our life.
I also say this as someone with raging social anxiety, it sucks and I just get overwhelmed within a couple hours.
a lot of research has come to the conclusion that we are wired for connection and that the presence of close relationships is a strong predictor of the length of our life.
Well I gotta restructure my retirement funds for some short but quality time
Unfortunately there has also been research that shows money only influences happiness up to a certain point, and then, after that only affects happiness if it is spent on quality shared experiences with friends and loved ones.
Sorry mang, I can make a pretty good case that the research shows you need to have close people in your life for connection and happiness, we’re hardwired and coded for it. So hey, I think you’re probably a person worth knowing and that there’s somebody you’d really get along with, living not far from you. To a degree, interpersonal avoidance is choosing safety now to pay with loneliness later. Take care.
Introverts don’t not want social connection. They just prefer a smaller number of deeper connections. “You’re not people” is a common sentiment from introverts to their closest friends and family. Most introverts still have and enjoy social connection. They just prefer it in an intimate or chill setting to large groups.
I agree with most/all of this, it just seems like the question is, do they prefer those chill settings because of the increased intimacy OR the safety and relative lack of chaos. Increased positive experiences or decreased aversion? By aversion, I mean, are there sensory issues with crowds? feelings of overwhelm? more social anxiety at the uncertain? etc.
In other words, would introverts who had stronger social skills and newly managed social anxiety symptoms still make the same choices? I think the answer is a pretty solid “I/We don’t know” but at least people are working on finding out!
Hm… I’ve always been introverted. However as a teen I’ve gone to high school parties with my friends, gotten drunk, smoked weed, hung out with friends, talked to girls… I’ve gone to night clubs, bars, theaters, and restaurants… the way I see it is if I’m with a crowd of people I personally know, I’ve grown up with, or simply my family members, I don’t feel introverted. My energy is focused on them not everyone else outside of my crowd. But put me into an environment where I don’t know a single person and I’m expected to have dialogue with them? Eh… that’s a different story. That environment will definitely spend away my mental energy - UNLESS we’re all having a conversation on a subject I can definitely relate to. If it’s an enjoyable dialogue, then I walk out of that environment feeling just fine.
I feel like i am the person and i can confirm it is absolute hell, there is a constant need to have interesting conversations with new people but starting them is basically my worst fear
Make a habit of reading takes (from reputable / serious sources) that you think you’ll disagree with.
Even if it doesn’t change your mind, you will understand other people’s POV. This is very important for understanding your own stance better and finding flaws and uncertainties in it.
It also tends to humanise “the other side” (whoever that is for you), which makes it easier to have a constructive argument rather than meaningless fights.
When the forklift is in motion the forks should be 6 inches or less from the ground. That driver needs a firm talking to. Maybe even a written warning.
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