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@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

hauchvonstaub

@[email protected]

Spät diagnostiziert mit ADHS und auf absehbare Zeit(mindestens 20 Monate) nur selbst diagnostiziert autistisch.
Mein Profilbild soll ein Fenster sein, durch das Sonnenlicht scheint, in dem Staub sichtbar wird.
(he/him)
(Beruf,Hobbies, usw. trage ich nach, sobald es ein wirksames Mittel gegen ME/CFS gibt. /s)

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PossiblyAutistic , to actuallyautistic

Took the referral from the company psychlogist recommending diagnosis for ADHD and ASD to my GP, got a referral to a psychiatrist and a name, called that one today, and surprisingly have an appointment in 1.5 weeks ... 😯

Any advice?

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic They usually want to see your elementary school and kindergarten reports, so you should probably bring a copy of those, if you still have them.
You could also look up the psychiatrist and see, if there are complaints about them.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.

I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic In my case I can say that I've been pretty naive, when I was younger, both when it came to people and ads.
It was probably a mix of growing up with narcissistic parents, so not questioning others was a behavior I was taught early and seeing red flags, but rationalising them away immediately or not knowing or being sure, what they mean.
I think growing up in the countryside, where people were less competitive(and less hostile) also played a role.

1/2

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic For me being sceptical seems to be a learned behavior.
It's like sometimes I'm really sceptical by default and sometimes I have to remind myself to be more sceptical, but when I can hear someone talk and see how they behave, I usually immediately see if they're dishonest.
I think one reason for me to ignore red flags in the past was the disconnect between what people said and what they showed and over time I realised, I should listen to what they show.

2/2

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Any tips on how to deal with imposter syndrome? 😅 It's really been affecting me lately, and I'm not sure why.

I feel like I can never quite be certain that the things I KNOW are true about myself are actually true, like my brain is willingly playing tricks on itself.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I think for me imposter syndrom has a lot to do with not considering informations, while strongly focusing on other informations.
For example when I hear or read very pathologising, stereotypical and outdated descriptions of autism, it reminds me, that there are probably professionals today, who wouldn't diagnose me.
It's like for a moment I've forgotten everything I've learned about the topic, or at least fail to take it into account.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic For me it's helpful to immediately recognise, that it's just imposter syndrom.
That way I remember that I've gone through it before and have a shortcut to get out of it.
Nowadays I usually only get imposter syndrom, when I'm in a phase, where my memory problems get worse, but even then, remembering that it's just imposter syndrom and that I'll remember, why my current thoughts are inappropriate, helps for the feeling to not become as strong and wear of quicker.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
What kind of music do y’all like?

I’ve found that my music taste sometimes mimics that of my friends, but generally I listen to completely different stuff than most people. I love heavy metal, folk/bluegrass, anything indie, 50’s-80’s music, and a lot of traditional songs from the Renaissance, Middle Ages, and earlier. I also like Christian hymns but that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

Would love to expand my own tastes by hearing from y’all!

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic Mostly chillwave nowadays, sometimes videogame soundtracks.
Currently I'm tempted to listen to what's already out from the soundtrack of Angeline Era.

chevalier26 , to actuallyautistic
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?

For clarity, I’m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently don’t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research I’ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.

I don’t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying I’m “self-suspecting.” @actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
I've barely seen any negative reaction on here for self-diagnosis and personally haven't gotten any negative responses.
My first assessment will probably be in a year from now and if it wouldn't potentially have an impact on my level of disability, I probably wouldn't bother getting an official diagnosis, especially because of all the negative experiences I've heard about the diagnostic process here in germany.

theaardvark , to actuallyadhd
@theaardvark@mastodon.me.uk avatar


How does everyone know how, when and how much they're masking?
As a late-diagnosed , I struggle to differentiate between "me but masking" and "me but in a diff situation".
Now that I know I'm autistic, I even miss the person I used to be in some situations before I knew.
I used to call myself a "social chameleon" - I just changed automatically to suit the circumstances.
But who actually am I and what is just a mask?
@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@theaardvark @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
Before realising that I'm autistic, I realised that the more time I spend alone(up to a certain point), the less I am like others and the more I am like myself.
There were times, when I didn't even talk to people online, barely left the house and at least for a while, I prefered and enjoyed that.
I think I'm more the way I have been as a child, when I'm not adjusting my behavior to others.

rebekka_m , to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

Hypothesis to be discussed with the @actuallyautistic:

The high prevalence of in Autistics might be just the symptoms of an overstimulated life, misunderstood communications and lots of trauma that led to cPTSD.

Would also explain why ADHD meds very often don't work for Autistics - but certain antidepressants do.

What do you think?

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m

I find that unlikely, especially since we already know, that there is a genetic overlap between autism and ADHD.
It just sounds like the "ADHD isn't real/overdiagnosed"-discussion, except for misunderstood communication.
I think that both in allistic and autistic people ADHD is exacerbated, but not caused by the environment and someones history.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m

The question is, how you want to define ADHD and according to what symptoms.
If you'd diagnose lactose intolerance like ADHD, a person that had a vegan diet couldn't be lactose intolerant, because they don't have any symptoms.
I find it more helpful to see ADHD as a neurotype, with a higher susceptibility for certain problems, that can often be adressed before they cause a person to suffer and seem obvious enough for a doctor to recognise them as impairing.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m

I also think that this is similar to the "can autism be cured"-discussion, where certain adults don't reacht the diagnostic threshold for ASD anymore, so depending on who you ask, they're officially "cured from autism".
Same with people who get diagnosed later in life, who officially only had "autistic traits" or no diagnosis at all until they reach burnout and suddenly have enough symptoms to be diagnosed according to current diagnostic criteria.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m

From what I know, ADHD meds often help autistic people with ADHD, just that they usually need a lower dose and they can have additional negative effects.
The first antidepressant I found, that is used to treat ADHD is Bupropion, which is basically an amphetamin.
Some non-autistic people with ADHD also claim that 5-HTP is enough to deal with their ADHD, so just increasing serotonin.
ADHD is more complex than just a lack of dopamin/noadrenalin.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m

I think it just means that ADHD and autism as a neurotype can both lead to similar promlems in some areas and can both have a synergy effect.
You can have lactose intolerance, but still get digestion problems from milk without lactose.
This is the case for me, milk leads to digestion problems for me, but it can become really painful without lactase pills, so it's lactose intolerance, but not only lactose intolerance.

@actuallyautistic

autism101 , to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Watching the same show over-and-over again is one way I regulate the autistic side of my brain. But the ADHD side sure gets bored sometimes.

Do you watch any shows on repeat?

@actuallyautistic

image: @NoNonsenseND

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@autism101

I don't rewatch movies or shows regularly.
Even today with my memory problems, I rarely watch something more than once.
It's different with music or video games.
With video games the problem is, that at some point I'm reminded, that my lifetime is finite and that I also want to experience other games, otherwise I'd probably replay some games over and over again.
I don't know how often I've restarted games like Stardew Valley or Links Awakening.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@autism101

I think I don't like to rewatch movies or shows, because how my memory works.
When I watch something for the first time, I know what happened, but the more often I watch it, the more it feels like an "inflation of informations", like informations lose value and I remember less, the more often I watch something.
I want to keep the memory of something I watched, not lose it more and more, everytime I rewatch something.

@actuallyautistic

sebwhatever , to actuallyautistic
@sebwhatever@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

What are your favorite bands/singers/rappers right now?

Mine in no particular order:

• Can
• Unknown Mortal Orchestra
• The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Tom Waits
• David Byrne

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@sebwhatever

Currently I mostly either listen to chillwave playlists, mostly without looking at the song names or video game soundtracks.
I couldn't come up with a top 5 of what I'm listening to right now, but also couldn't reduce musicians I generally listen to to a top 5.
So some of the ones I still like to listen to from time to time are:

  • Melos Han-Tani
    -Nada Surf
    -Krosia
    -Carpenter Brut

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@sebwhatever

I had to look that up.
I probably don't know the full lyrics to any of their songs and the most I've listened to an individual song from them is probably 5-15 times.
They're a band I've only discovered, because I liked a song while I was high and it had the same name as one of their songs.
(The name is Ice Box, one from Omraion, but I was probably 14 back then and older than 20, when I looked up the song)

@actuallyautistic

18+ PossiblyAutistic , to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Recently on LinkedIn, a post by an ABA "therapist" got swept into my timeline. It was basically about ABA people (not) supporting one another. I mentioned the critique on ABA.

A was there is good ABA, which does not force allistic norms, understands stimming, prioritizes regulation, acknowledges different communication modalities, minimizes intervention hours, "whenever possible, the learner gets to make the choices about targets"

Is there such a thing as "good ABA"?

18+ hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic No there isn't.
People who promote "good ABA" always suspiciously talk around what it is from what I've seen, so they're aware, they have something to hide.
It's like listening to bad politicians.

undefined_variable , to actuallyautistic
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing, but I'd bet it might be...

How many of you restart a game when you fail at something in it, even if you didn't have to. Or when you feel like you made a mistake or a wrong choice or whatnot. And I don't mean just loading the last convenient save, but starting anew all the way from the beginning. I do that, a lot, almost with every game (Yes, even casual ones, I restarted the original Life Is Strange I don't know how many times... You can imagine what a chore it was to get through XCOM, which is one of my favorite series). So instead of playing like 20 hours, I spend easily 80 hours going though the game. Provided that I ever actually finish the game.

Now, here's the kicker... Ready for it? Does that apply to other things in your life too? I just realized today, that for me it does. I get into something, something ungood happens, I drop it, get rid of my "save game" (that is, whatever I have acquired, tangible or intangible for said thing), then take it up again some time later, start from an empty table, other than the experience from the previous try, maybe get a bit further, something happens...

I've done it with trivial things, like learning a new skill I don't really need to survive. Today I realized I've been doing it with something fundamental about myself. And oh my that realization sucks. Unlike my game characters, I don't... I can't start a new game with the game world, or myself, in the same state every time, neatly rolled back in time. For me, a month, or a yeah, or a decade has passed. It is very ungood. I wanna restart and try again.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic I used to do it less, when I was younger, back then I just went with what happened in a game, because progress felt more valuable.
Even if I could have just restarted a game and made the same progress in a short time, it felt like it could take the same amount of time, as during the first playthrough(not just in hours played, but in days since I started the game, including days I didn't even play).
I was also less perfectionist with games.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic Today this is different and I regularly restart games.
It's like a savegame doesn't feel worth finishing.
I think it took me about 2 months to finish Fallout New Vegas, because I restarted it multiple times.
This can even go as far as not feeling motivated to keep on playing, because I don't feel like I want to finish this savegame anyway, so why even keep playing.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic ... and I would definitely "restart" my life, if that was an option, even with all the bad things that happened in my childhood.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@undefined_variable @actuallyautistic The survival mode is buggy, if the values wouldn't sometimes go up, when you load the game, you would barely need to eat, drink or sleep, compared to other survival games.

I used to mainly play rogue likes for years, every game is a restart and there is never much progress to be lost.
I probably have 2000-3000 hours in Spelunky alone.

PossiblyAutistic , to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic How much of a thing is "friendzoning" with neurodivergents?

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic I think, if "friendzone" is defined as the other person actually being aware, and purposefully keeping them "on the hook", friendzones are probably not that common.
I was once in the position, of a girl being interested in me and after I found out, I broke off contact with her.
Before that I actually thought she just wanted to be friends.
I suspect a lot of cases of "friendzone" are similar, with one person not being fully aware.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic I used to spend a lot of time on a website(that I won't name), where incels used to be a small minority that was mocked and turned became a large part of the users at some point.
A lot of them complained about being friendzoned, or at least were very convinced, that it's a very big problem nowadays and I'm pretty sure, the ones that experienced "the friendzone" didn't actually reach the point, where they could have been rejected, or were still friends.

rebekka_m , to actuallyadhd
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.

Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?

Or do you know sth. about this, @actuallyautistic?

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic Antidepressants can also work as dopamin antagonists, so they can do the opposite of make you feel happier.
I've read, that the effect shouldn't be that strong, even if you have ADHD, but when I took paroxetin, I felt like I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, which made me constantly crave for pleasure, without relief.
I took it for over a month and the effect took 3-4 month to fully wear off.
I wasn't depressed or anxious.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic Trimipramin on the other hand actually improves my mood, and makes me feel a bit "like a child on christmas eve", when I dose it low enough.

People react differently to drugs, so you can't really predict the effect they're going to have on any individual person.

18+ hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@rebekka_m @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic I can't remember any withdrawal symptoms, just the regular effect of the drug not wearing off.
It did make me "emotionally numb", no fear, I didn't really care about anything, but I was also aggressive.(so it did flatten my affect)
It also suppressed empathy.
It would be long and complex to describe what paroxetine did, but it was generally unpleasant and I can understand, why one of the potential side effects is suicide.

FrightenedRat , to actuallyautistic
@FrightenedRat@mastodon.scot avatar

Anyone else sometimes merge the concepts of 2 famous people into 1 - so that when you are confronted with the fact that these 2 people (with different names & histories) are indeed different, you are so shocked it's hard to take in?

Eg I merged Al Pacino & Dustin Hoffman into 1 idea accessed via 2 names. But they are different!!! 🤯

I do this a lot & with other types of entity too e.g. 2 supermarket chains with different names & logos got merged.

Bizarre.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@FrightenedRat @actuallyautistic For me I would describe it as 2 people sharing one category in my brain, while most people get their own category.
Those people don't even need to have much in common, but they share a context.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@FrightenedRat @actuallyautistic I did manage to "seperate" people in my head, but there is usually still a connection.
So it's no longer like they feel like the same person, but one always reminds me of the other.
In one case it even feels like they're disconnected by now, which are vin disel and jason statham.

PurpleStephyr , to actuallyautistic
@PurpleStephyr@chaosfem.tw avatar

When you brush your teeth, do you count out a specific number of brushes for each section? I divide my teeth into 18 sections (combinations of left/center/right, top/bottom, front/top/back), and brush each section 12 times.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@PurpleStephyr @actuallyautistic No, I brush them the same way everyday, without thinking about it.
It's almost completely automated, so even when I don't feel like brushing my teeth, or need to hurry, I end up brushing them the same way as always, if I don't stop myself and actively think about what I'm doing.

samid , to actuallyautistic
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

hey, what are you doing when you don't have too many spoons left or just want to relax and enjoy but also nurture yourself a bit?
one of my favourite passive enjoyments is watching watercolor videos. What relaxes me so deeply is the sensitivity. And of course the neurodivergence that shines through. I just love love love watching women being besides themselves about the subtle difference from one hue to the next. And nerding out about pigment properties. And of course the visuals. flowing colours. With my favourite channels they often have one video where they come out as being autistic/ADHD. With others I just strongly suspect it.
@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@samid @actuallyautistic I used to watch camping videos for a while, but I'd have to manually search for good channels nowadays with youtubes changes in search and recommendations.
When I'm in the mood for one, "working against" youtubes search is just too much efford(I'm very picky).
I also like to watch let's plays of old games, especially pc games from the 90s and early 2000s.
I have a weird fascination for games that my older brother could have played when I was a child.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades have a good relationship with their families of origin?

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Not really, but I would get along with some people in my family if there was contact.
There were some people that "kept the family together" and some people who would "push it apart" and with time the influence of one group got bigger than the other.

haui , to actuallyautistic

Being @actuallyautistic and for me means I often get told the following, initially:

„No! You‘re wrong! What a shit take! You have no idea what you‘re talking about! Stop the drugs, man!“ and the like.

After some discussion, people say:

„I have not thought of it this way. I got you wrong. We should actually consider doing it your way. You seem to have deeper insight than the average person.“

This often makes me question my place in this world. Anyone else?

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@haui @actuallyautistic ... and then people end up either still doing what they admitted is wrong, or go back to their old habits/behavior in less than a week.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

Do my comrades have a journaling practice?

What's it look like?

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic I started writing a diary at some point after I had lost my memory and still write down important dates/events.
It used to be more about typing, so I don't get out of practice, nowadays I try not to write too much text, so it doesn't take me ages to read through the documents, if I ever want to write a summary.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What's your dream comrades?

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic Seeing the development of an effective ME/CFS treatment, that preferably reverses its effects.

autism101 , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Autistic masking behaviors vary from person to person. What are some of your masking characteristics?

image: @littlepuddins.ie

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@pilum @JeremyMallin @autism101 @actuallyautistic Doesn't all of masking count as "adapting to social environment"?
If you regularly have to hide from others, that you know more about a subject than them, or are better at something than them, I would count that as masking.

ChrisMayLA6 , to random
@ChrisMayLA6@zirk.us avatar

Hurrah... good sense breaks out in the as the 'Waitrose of the North', Booths begins to get rid of self-service check-outs.

Given the price premium at Booths, we (the customers) want the social interaction with staff at the checkouts, not be told to 'scan & bag'!

More importantly, not only do checkouts provide regular local employment, they are also for many semi-isolated shoppers a key bit of rare social interaction... so a welcome reverse!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-67373472

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@ChrisMayLA6 @Greenseer @actuallyautistic @RolloTreadway So you think "a choice is best", but your reaction to that choice being removed is "Hurrah"?
Seems contradictory.

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@Greenseer @ChrisMayLA6 @actuallyautistic @RolloTreadway I would have as well, wasn't it for "Q. is I guess how many people use the self-service", which means "there probably aren't enough to justify having a choice", so this makes it not part of a learning curve, but shows contradicting views.
"It's best to have a choice, but most peoples health would benefit from taking the stairs and question is, if there are even enough wheelchair users" would be the same logic.

masukomi , to actuallyautistic
@masukomi@connectified.com avatar

A nice little TickTok about finding joy in someone else's Special Interest, even if it's really not your thing.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Sqeq92/

I think this is something most folks "just get" but that Allistic people constantly struggle with. The end result being Austistic people can frequently only talk about the thing they're passionate about with other autistics, or other people with the same Special Interest.

1/2

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@masukomi @actuallyautistic "Second hand special interest" is a thing.

AutisticAdam , to actuallyautistic
@AutisticAdam@autistics.life avatar

Some of my less talked about autistic traits:

  • Reading captions on videos despite having solid hearing.

  • Only speaking when you’ve knowledge or valuable insights.

  • Answering “how are you?” honestly.

  • Proofreading texts/emails/etc 10+ times before sending.

  • Clumsy phraseology (e.g saying “present opening” instead of present opening” instead of “opening presents”).

  • Not upgrading items due to a strong attachment to current items.

What's yours ?!

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic One I've only heard a few people talk about so far is struggling to leave something unfinished.
This is also one of the traits that conflicts with my ADHD the most.
It's an uncomfortable situation to be stuck between not being interested in something anymore(and not being able to make any meaningful progress because of it), but also not being able to let it go yet.

neversosimple , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@neversosimple@mstdn.social avatar

@actuallyautistic I'd like to share the great new video on Pathological Demand Avoidance, or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy (PDA) by the very informative and insightful YT channel Autistamatic.

Feel free to discuss and share your experiences!

https://youtu.be/HOrsMUyGnq4?si=suCK2tKIKGfR_IAK

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@neversosimple @actuallyautistic I relate to being uncomfortable with the concept of social debt, but for me the expected subordination to a social hierarchy, including rules and who gets to be above and below those often arbitrary rules plays a bigger role.
Being told what to do makes the task not about if it should be done anymore, but about who gets to decide.
It feels like you had the energy to do a task and now your body decided to transfer this energy to resisting the task.

theautisticcoach , to actuallyautistic
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

What does the term “special interest” mean to my comrades?

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic There seems to be a lot of criticism of the term being pathologising, but even if that's the case, I still wouldn't abandon the term, because there are differences between a regular and a special interest.
The differences are potential intensity, persistence and usually a sense of comfort.
I can usually fall back on a special interest, when I'm in a state, where nothing else is interesting enough to engage with.

neversosimple , to actuallyautistic
@neversosimple@mstdn.social avatar

Before knowing that I'm I labeled myself as an introvert.

I wonder how often introverts are actually autistic, knowingly or not.

I can see that saying you're an introvert is a whole lot less to explain and would suffice in many situations.

Also curious to know if anyone @actuallyautistic considers themselves an extrovert?

Came to think of it while watching this: https://youtu.be/MdG4f5Y3ugk?si=QI5kdseAE1EuFHqj

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@neversosimple @actuallyautistic I would still call myself an introvert.
Who I'm talking to and in which environment just changes how much energy it will cost me.
Maybe you could call a conversation stimulating for me, but that's not the same as "giving energy", because I'm still exhausted afterwards.
It's like sports, fine as long as I have the energy for it.
This can also seem paradoxical to others, because seeking conversations can be stimulation seeking behavior, especially when I'm tired.

CynAq , (edited ) to actuallyautistic
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

Until I was 8-9 years old or so, I was under the impression that god and religion were abstract, philosophical concepts everyone used as practical metaphors. It made perfect sense as mythology and was seemingly culturally bound, different countries and languages having different religious traditions.

Then one day, I suddenly realized people were serious when they say they believed in god and they adhered to religion as a matter of faith.

That realization was, and still is, very shocking to me.

I now think being might have something to do with me not taking people seriously on their religious faith claims.

@actuallyautistic

hauchvonstaub , (edited )
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@CynAq @actuallyautistic When I was young, I was taught religion like it's facts and I also believed in it for a short time.
What made me skeptical were contradictions within religious teaching and being lied to on religious hollidays about the easterbunny/santaclaus(and its german equivalents).
To me it felt a bit like at some point adults just forgot to tell their children that besides the easter bunny and santa claus, the whole jesus and god thing is also made up.

ratcatcher , to random
@ratcatcher@neurodifferent.me avatar

For anyone having issues with the hashtag, there is also and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).

They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).

hauchvonstaub ,
@hauchvonstaub@nrw.social avatar

@FrightenedRat @ratcatcher @Gtmlosangeles @allautistics @actuallyautistic This is really tough.
The hashtag has to be short, hard to misunderstand and also should sound nice enough, so that people are willing to use it and it shouldn't make you seem weird for using it to others not familiar with the hashtag...
The best I could come um with is the seemingly most obvious , but that could sound too much like a hashtag to come out as autistic and not to be used regularly.

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