KatLS

JeremyMallin , 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

Does anyone ever consider learning sign language not because they can't speak, but just because sometimes they don't want to? Or don't feel up to it?
#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

pathfinder , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

I once wrote about how it was not unrealistic, to think that there was no such thing as an un-traumatised autistic. About how so many of us have known bullying and persecution simply for being different. Not even always for what we may have said or done, but often for simply standing out; in all the ways that we didn't even know we were. How just simply being, was so often an excuse to be attacked or punished. That our very existence, even as hard as we tried to mask, whether we knew that was what we were doing or not, was the cause of so much pain.

All the scars we carry from misreading situations. Or from believing in something, or someone, and being burnt as a consequence. All the times we've tried to stand up for ourselves, or as often as not for others, and been dismissed and ridiculed. All the misjudgements and disbelieve and times when our intent and purpose have been seen in the ways that were never, ever, meant. The sheer inability for others to see us as we are, or to judge us accordingly. But, always to seem to want to see the worst and to base everything else on that.

But the more I learn and understand about being autistic. The more I realise that so much of my trauma and the scars that were left, came not just from this overt pain, but from the covert well-meaning of others as well. From my parents and relatives, from friends and teachers. From all the advice and instruction I have received over the years that was meant to shape me in the right way. As a child, to teach me how to grow up, how to behave and act. What was expected and what wasn't. And then, as an adult, how I was supposed to be and how a successful life, with me in it, was supposed to look. All the rules I was supposed to learn, all the codes I was supposed to follow. How to act, how to speak, what to feel, when to feel it. What I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to be.

Not in any unusual way. Not in any way that you weren't supposed to raise a child, well a normal child anyway. That's what makes this so covert. If you were trying to do this to a child knowing that they were autistic, then it's overt abuse. It is ABA, it is infantilising and punishing a child for always failing to become something, that they had no more chance of becoming than a cat has of becoming a dog. But for those of us who didn't know we were autistic. It was simply the constant hammering of the world trying, without even realising it, to fit a round peg into a square hole and all the pain and disappointment that came from their failure to come even close.

For me, what made this worse, was that it wasn't as if I didn't know that I was different, not in my heart, but that I thought that I shouldn't be. That I should be able to learn what I was being taught, that I should be able to follow the guidance. That I wasn't any different really from anyone else and so if I failed to act in the right way, or react the way I should, for that matter, then it was my fault. All the patient sighs and familiar looks, simply became just another reinforcement of my failure. Even being told off for the simplest things, became a reminder that something that I should have been able to do, was beyond me and always for the only reason that ever made any sense; that I was broken, that it was my fault somehow.

Is it any wonder that so much of my life has been about trying to justify myself in the light of this, of trying to become that "good dog". Of judging myself against an impossible standard. A constant lurching from one bad to choice to another, and always because I thought they were the right ones. And for each new failure and inability to even come close, another scar, another reminder of what I wasn't. Further proof that my self-esteem was right to be so low. Of how I was such a failure and a bad person. That I was never going to be a proper son or brother or friend. Because I couldn't even be what I was supposed to be, let alone what I should become.

Looking back, I can't help thinking about how much of my life I spent living this way; of trying not to repeat the sins of my past. Of not repeating the actions or behaviour that led to those past failures and trauma. Of, in fact, all the effort I put in to not being myself. Because that, I realise now, was what I was trying to do. I was that round peg and trying to hammer myself into the square hole. Because everything I had learnt had taught me to think that this was how I had to be. That this was how you grew. And in so many ways, I can't help feeling angry about this. About the wasted years, about the scars I carry that were never my fault. About the way I was brought up, even though none of it was ever meant, but only ever well-meant.

#Autism
#Actuallyautistic

GhostOnTheHalfShell , 3 months ago to random

Cory, as always on a tear

“ You ask Amazon, "What's your cheapest batteries?" and it lies to you. If you click the first link in a search-results page, you'll pay 29% more than you would if you got the best product – a product that is, on average, 17 places down on the results page.”

Capitalism is premised on markets with price transparency, at least by the marquee claims made in econ101.

🧵

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags

#WhatCapitalism

autism101 , 3 months ago to actuallyautistic

Were you always more sensitive to sounds than others growing up?

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

fulanigirl , 5 months ago to blackmastodon

#politics #trump #fascism #BlackMastodon #BlackTwitter @blackmastodon
Can you participate in a thought experiment with me? The posts warning about fascism are good, but I'm wondering what you think fascism actually looks like. Give a thought, and list what it looks like. Don't just say "the end of democracy." List what the concrete changes will be and make it local. "In my town/city/county/state the following will happen......" Think about it before replying. Not just for #BlackMastodon .

18+ KitMuse , 6 months ago to actuallyautistic

Something I've love to dive deeper into is how many AFAB or genderqueer individuals have been dx'd with Borderline Personality Disorder rather than Autism due to their past trauma?

Yes, I know they overlap. I've done the research including getting out my "Abnormal Psych" textbook.

But I also have some personal theories and I'm curious to hear from other self dx'd autistics misdiagnosed by mental healthcare. TY

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent

haui , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

Being @actuallyautistic and #gifted for me means I often get told the following, initially:

„No! You‘re wrong! What a shit take! You have no idea what you‘re talking about! Stop the drugs, man!“ and the like.

After some discussion, people say:

„I have not thought of it this way. I got you wrong. We should actually consider doing it your way. You seem to have deeper insight than the average person.“

This often makes me question my place in this world. Anyone else? #actuallyautistic

poloniousmonk , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Does anyone else drink a lot? Not booze, just fluids. For someone who barely feels hunger or discomfort, I'm always drinking and pissing. I've always assumed it was something medical and undiagnosed, but maybe it's an autist thing. Thoughts?

obrerx , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

#actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistic

Whew... while I was quietly sitting in my apartment: loud, pounding footsteps coming up outside stairs, then a sudden and loud attempt to come in my front door, no knocking, but the door was fortunately locked. I look out my kitchen window and see two men.

I'm so shocked by this I go into a reaction mode (I'm that way lately, very shut down and withdrawn) and I loudly ask them why they tried to come in without knocking, and this becomes, initially, an argument.

Turns out someone had died. They were entering to find the body, but entered wrong apt. I explained to them, regardless of situation, always knock.

Anyway... taking deep breaths. Another day of being very environmentally sensitive in an aggressive insensitive world.

They ended up apologizing, and I apologized as well (even though I was right, but that's me trying to bridge across to their world), and the left.

And of course I sit here feeling I once again overreacted and "should have been more calm".

Self-gaslighting is awful.

theautisticcoach , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic

The vast majority (but NOT all) #ActuallyAutistic humans live with alexithymia, making it difficult for us to either engage or express (sometimes both) with our emotional state.

When combined with interoception issues (in our bodies) we lose access to just about all feelings besides those that we intellectualize.

Getting in touch with both our emotions and our physical embodied sensations is essential for living fully.

@actuallyautistic

18+ Dr_Obvious , 7 months ago to actuallyautistic German

@actuallyautistic
So my kid and I are most likely AuDHDers. The problems of my kid were actually one starting point for my self-dx.Today I received information of the child psychatric ambulance that after discussion with the autism ambulance they don't considder my childs case in the moment. Instead they offer we can apply for the family day clinic therapy.

That would mean we would need to take six weeks off of work. That would give the chance to observe and help with current problems.

theautisticcoach , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

CALLING ALL NEURODIVERGENT TORAH NERDS

I am the co-editor of a forthcoming essay collection about how neurodivergent Jews interact with Torah and Judaism and we are currently accepting submissions. The essays will be published in a book and authors will be compensated.

Divrei Torah, personal experiences, visions for a brighter future, and everything in between are welcome!

At this stage we are taking proposals for articles to be included. Have a great idea that you’re passionate about writing about? Tell us about it in a proposals no more than 800 words.

Message me privately or send me a message via my website for more information.

@mazeldon @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #Torah #Neurodivergent

CultureDesk , 8 months ago to bookstodon

Paul Crenshaw says there was a pervasive sense of fear for kids growing up in 1980s America, born of stranger danger, the murder of "America's Most Wanted" host John Walsh's son Adam, and the Satanic panic. He explores these ideas in this essay for Salon; he has also written a new book of essays, "Melt with Me: Coming of Age and Other '80s Perils."

https://flip.it/WS7tLU

#Culture #1980s #America #GenX #Bookstodon @bookstodon

DivergentDumpsterPhoenix , 8 months ago to actuallyautistic

It's a tough truth to face up to, but not every Autstic/neurodivergent person is a good person. Many of us find out the hard way that there are members of our own community who will do harm to us collectively and individually.

It's important that we acknowledge the truth that we can always do better as a community. We don't have to be perfect. We just have to do a little better each day.

#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent

@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @audhd

theautisticcoach , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Good morning #ActuallyAutistic comrades

You’re beautiful & your life is inherently valuable

Have a great day

@actuallyautistic

AutisticAdam , 9 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to actuallyautistic

A big part of being autistic for me is being very intentional with my word choices in order to say what I mean and mean what I say.

To follow that up I then start having a bunch of people claim I said something I absolutely did not because they chose to add additional meanings they made up themselves.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

theautisticcoach , 9 months ago to actuallyautistic

Someone who REGULARLY attends my free support group for #ActuallyAutistic adults cancelled their attendance citing that “I don’t take advice or consul from Jews who murder children, you’re probably not even autistic anyway”.

If you feel the same, feel free not to attend 🙏🏼

@actuallyautistic

ratcatcher , 10 months ago to random

For anyone having issues with the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag, there is also #AllAutistics and @allautistics (the latter being a recently created group that you can follow and post to).

They are intended for anyone who is (or thinks they might be) autistic (formally or self-diagnosed).

ajsadauskas , 11 months ago to technology

Hi, we're a tech startup run by libertarian Silicon Valley tech bros.

We're not a newspaper, we're a content portal.
We're not a taxi service, we're a ride sharing app.
We're not a pay TV service, we're a streaming platform.
We're not a department store, we're an e-commerce marketplace.
We're not a financial services firm, we're crypto.
We're not a space agency, we're a group of visionaries who are totally going to Mars next year.
We're not a copywriting and graphic design agency, we're a large language model generative AI platform.

Oh sure, we compete against those established businesses. We basically provide the same goods and services.

But we're totally not those things. At least from a legal and PR standpoint.

And that means all the laws and regulations that have built up over the decades around those industries don't apply to us.

Things like consumer protections, privacy protections, minimum wage laws, local content requirements, safety regulations, environmental protections... They totally don't apply to us.

Even copyright laws — as long as we're talking about everyone else's intellectual property.

We're going to move fast and break things — and then externalise the costs of the things we break.

We've also raised several billion in VC funding, and we'll sell our products below cost — even give them away for free for a time — until we run our competition out of the market.

Once we have a near monopoly, we'll enshitify the hell out of our service and jack up prices.

You won't believe what you agreed to in our terms of service agreement.

We may also be secretly hoarding your personal information. We know who you are, we know where you work, we know where you live. But you can trust us.

By the time the regulators and the general public catch on to what we're doing, we will have well and truly moved on to our next grift.

By the way, don't forget to check out our latest innovation. It's the Uber of toothpaste!

#startup #business #tech #technology @technology