Fondots

Fondots , 5 days ago

I understand that I come from a place of pretty significant privilege, but it is wild to me that when faced with these kinds of situations anyone is gambling on the kinds of medical care they might/might not be able to receive in these red states with restrictive abortion laws.

I know that if any of my friends, even if we’re not particularly close, came to me and said they needed me to drive them halfway across the country for an abortion because they may not be able to get life-saving medical care in our state if something goes wrong, we’re going, right then and there, no questions asked, I’m calling out sick from work, running up my credit cards on gas and hotel rooms and whatever else we may need and we’re hitting the road, and if needed I won’t ever breathe a word of it to anyone.

The fact that people are in a position where they feel like they can’t do that or don’t have people they think they can trust to do that for them is maddening.

Fondots , 5 days ago

Small addendum, there’s 94 commercial reactors that are generating power for the grid

But there’s a few dozen more active nuclear reactors that exist for things like training and research.

…wikipedia.org/…/List_of_nuclear_research_reactor…

Fondots , 5 days ago

I’m a 911 dispatcher

Was once at a party where a motorcycle crashed right outside.

By the time I got outside, 911 had already been called, my friend was already performing CPR. I know he’s been trained, so I let him keep at it, made sure he was doing it right, counted with him to keep time, and basically repeated the same CPR script I’ve given over the phone countless times and stood by in case he got tired and needed me to take over.

EMS shows up, as they’re running over with their equipment they tell my friend to get the guys shirt open, he starts undoing buttons, I tell him to just pop them, a couple lost buttons are the least of this guys problems, and every second counts.

I’m 99% certain this guy was dead the moment he hit the ground, but regardless of what the outcome was (I’ll probably never know and am OK with that, I’m used to that from my job, after I hang up with my caller I often don’t get much if any follow-up on how a call turns out,) if you’re going to crash a motorcycle and go into cardiac arrest, short of doing it outside an ER, you can’t do much better than the house with a 911 dispatcher and counting myself and my friend who was doing CPR, no fewer than 4 eagle scouts.

There were a handful of bystanders pulled over not doing much of anything but standing around. I got the impression that they were already there not being particularly helpful when my friend started doing CPR. Looked like the kinds of guys who fancy themselves to be real rugged tough guys, driving big trucks and whatnot. The bystander effect was on display there. I’m pretty sure one of them was the person who called 911, which means they didn’t really check on the guy, because if they had they would have been on the phone with one of my coworkers getting CPR instructions and doing it themselves. Remember that people don’t usually rise to the occasion, they fall to their level of training.

Fondots , 7 days ago

It seems like OP is probably pushing a bit of an agenda here (maybe a good one, maybe a bad one depending on where you land on the whole Israel situation, I’m not gonna go into that right now) but in case you’re just out of the loop

There’s recently been some incidents in Lebanon where pagers and radios have been exploding. Not just defective Samsung Note battery bursting-into-flames exploding, but packed full of actual explosives, detonating, and killing people exploding

Long story short, Israel intercepted a shipment of these devices going to Hezbollah, and planted remote triggered bombs in them.

And some people are concerned about this, and probably rightly so, first of all these pagers have caused some collateral damages, killing and hurting bystanders. Secondly, we don’t exactly know how widespread this has been- are there other people out in Lebanon or other parts of the world walking around with literal bombs in their pocket? What if those devices get lost, stolen, sold/traded in? What if the target had been onboard a plane or something when the pager detonated? What if the bomb doesn’t go off as intended- is it gonna go off in a trash truck, recycling facility, or incinerator when they decide to get rid of it?

Fondots , 8 days ago

I consider myself to be a fairly tech literate person. Not a professional, but better than average. The guy my family comes to to troubleshoot computer problems, basic working understanding of programming and networking but not nearly enough to do it professionally.

I think you’re shooting too high on some of these.

Basic hardware is good, but don’t spend too much time on it or go into too much detail, just kind of basic overviews. Boot chain is probably pushing it, but basic overview of operating systems is good.

I probably wouldn’t go so far as having them install their own Linux distro, that feels like you want to take a week of your class time to troubleshoot all the potential issues that come up, if you do it on school computers you’re probably looking at a nightmare getting that cleared by your IT department, and if it’s their personal devices you’re probably going to catch an earful from some parents for messing up their/their kids computer.

I do think it’s a good idea to have some computers running Linux for them to use so they can see what it’s like, and probably some macs too, I’m not an apple guy but there’s a lot of them out there and people should be at least a little familiar with both.

I don’t know what the current state of things in schools is, but you can certainly hand out some flash drives, but there’s a decent chance they already have some. I know over a decade ago when I was in high school pretty much all of us were already carrying around flash drives.

Programming is good to introduce them to, python is a solid choice, but unless these are kids who are pretty sure they want to go into computer science I wouldn’t go too deep. It’s not a particularly useful language for actual usage but I think that BASIC still has a useful role as a way to teach the fundamentals of programming to people in an accessible way to see if they may want to pursue it further. I know programmers hate it, but visual basic is also kind of satisfying because it makes it pretty easy to crank out something that looks like an actual finished product.

I’d keep networking pretty straightforward. Network stack and OSI are probably a little too high level to go into, but basics about WiFi, Bluetooth, Ethernet, routers, switches, firewalls, etc. are good to know.

Basic typing and general computer use are probably something a lot of kids could use some work on. A lot of kids these days have a lot less experience with keyboard and mouse computer use thanks to smartphones and tablets. Don’t shun the touchscreen devices though, they’re more powerful than a lot of people give them credit for, and since that’s the way technology is trending figure out how to push the borders on what you can do with them.

Fondots , 9 days ago

My mom would not be able to wear a hat during the summer obviously heat would stay in and she would get too hot.

I think you’re starting from a faulty assumption here.

In general, it’s often wise to wear a hat in the summer and can help you feel cooler providing a little bit of portable shade, and helps keep the sun out of your eyes and off your face/neck/ears/shoulders.

It’s just about finding the right hat, something lightweight, breathable, and preferably lighter in color (to reflect the sun’s rays instead of absorbing them) and maybe with a wider brim.

Straw hats are a fairly traditional option, something like a panama hat (actually made from palms, also made in Ecuador and not panama BTW) is a classic option, but this is 2024 so there’s lots of moisture wicking synthetic material options out there as well. For other natural materials, linen is also a good choice, certain types and weaves of cotton can be pretty light and breathable, and honestly even some lighter weight wool hats aren’t too bad.

Take a look at people who work or spend a lot of time outdoors in warmer climates, you’ll see a lot of people wearing hats or cultures where people traditionally wore a lot of hats even if they’ve fallen out of style. Baseball caps, visors, cowboy hats, fedoras, pith helmets, beater hats, various types of headscarves, big floppy sun hats, bucket hats, asian conical hats, sombreros, etc.

I wear hats pretty much year-round. The hats I like in the summer are different from my winter hats, but it’s pretty rare that I go out without some kind of hat, and when I forget to grab one on my way out the door, I feel less comfortable for it.

Fondots , 8 days ago (edited 8 days ago)

I’m also bald, but even before I started shaving my head and had long hair I wore a lot of hats. Still helped keep the sun off me and I tend to run kind of hot so it helped keep sweaty hair out of my face.

I have a couple hats similar to those kicking around, they mostly get used when I’m camping, hiking, etc.

My main every day summer hats are a panama straw fedora, a linen flat cap, and very occasionally a trucker cap that I mostly use as my fishing hat.

I also have a straw cowboy hat that I only bust out occasionally, when I’m both feeling a little silly and I’m gonna be out in direct sun for a long time, like out in the middle of a lake on my kayak. It looks a little goofy, I’m certainly no cowboy, but it’s practically like walking around with a shade umbrella on my head.

I tend to run pretty hot and sweaty, so when the sun isn’t a concern, I often wear a bandana to keep sweat out of my face.

My wife has a very big, floppy hat she wears at the beach sometimes, looks like straw but is actually some sort of recycled plastic.

Fondots , 10 days ago

I once drove through Ohio, don’t remember my exact route, but came up north from Kentucky to Cincinnati, then east into Pennsylvania

There may be more boring drives out there, but I haven’t made them.

Cincinnati seemed like a nice enough city though. Can’t think of any particular reason I’d ever want to go back, but I didn’t hate it, so that was pretty much the high point of my time in Ohio

Fondots , 9 days ago

I haven’t, but I live in PA, so we have scrapple which sounds pretty similar.

Fondots , 11 days ago

I take part in a lot of outdoorsy activities, there’s kind of a split. Lots of conservation-minded folks like myself, and lots of assholes who don’t seem to realize or care that they won’t be able to go hunting, fishing, etc. if they develop over all the woodlands, poison the waterways, etc. and just want an excuse to shoot something or justify their much-larger-than-needed, lifted, coal-rolling truck.

Also a fair amount of people who don’t feel particularly strongly either way.

Sales of hunting/fishing licenses and such do end up funding a lot of conservation efforts, though arguably in a lot of cases the money doesn’t necessarily go where it’s most needed.

The more conservation-minded folks tend to be quieter about their interests and don’t make it their whole personality, they’re usually not the ones posing with a deer or fish in their profile pic.

Fondots , 12 days ago

A roof only needs to be a thin piece of sheet metal, weighing somewhere in the neighborhood of 1-2lbs per square foot

Most solar panels are going to weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 2-4lbs per square foot. So is likely the panel would weigh 2-4 times as much as just a plain metal roof, plus possibly a metal roof under it and/or additional framing to attach the panels to, so power to weight does absolutely come into play.

Fondots , 12 days ago

6% weight increase doesn’t necessarily mean a 6% efficiency loss, it’s not a simple linear relationship like that. Depending on the power of the motor and a few other factors that 6% weight increase could mean a huge hit to efficiency.

Fondots , 13 days ago (edited 13 days ago)

This chucklefuck:

“babies born with any deformities or disabilities should be shot in the forehead.”

What trump was trying to scaremonger about and claimed democrats support in the debate:

He also says execution after birth, it’s execution, no longer abortion, because the baby is born, is okay

Seems he’s once again confused

Fondots , 17 days ago

The house behind my parents has had a string of terrible tenants. Loud assholes, people who let their dogs run loose, people with unruly kids, etc.

Otherwise a pretty decent neighborhood.

There was a younger dude living there for a while, kept kind of weird hours, but my parents never thought much of that, figured he was going to school, working night shift somewhere, etc. Mostly kept to himself, never bothered my parents in any way, always dressed professionally, etc.

He was probably the best neighbor my parents ever had in that house.

Then one day cops raided the place, turns out he’d been dealing a lot of drugs out of there and had a punch bowl full of cocaine sitting out on the kitchen counter.

Some of the other neighbors apparently had noticed some pretty sketchy characters coming and going from the house, they must have entered from the front door though, because my parents never really noticed anyone.

My parents would still take the drug dealer over pretty much anyone else that’s lived there.

Fondots , 18 days ago

Politicians lie and use all kinds of weasely doublespeak bullshit all the damn time, it’s pretty much their signature move, everyone knows it, it’s been the punchline of countless jokes, no one likes it, but anyone with half a brain understands that it’s part of how the game is played and how you get the morons that make up a lot of this country excited to show up and vote for you.

So why are Kamala and so many other democrats so bad at just doing that when it counts?

How many undecided idiots does she think have fracking as their big tentpole issue, who are saying “gee, you know, I kind of agree with everything else she’s saying, but I don’t know if she agrees with me that fracking is the greatest thing since sliced bread, so I guess I’ll stay home on election day or maybe vote for the guy who’s skin looks like it was stained orange by fracking chemicals”

Compared to how many people in her base who are strongly against fracking, and feel that by supporting it she is just plain not listening to them and who may choose to stay home on election day because they feel so alienated and hopeless about the state of politics in our country.

How hard is it to just say nothing about these kinds of issues? Or if it’s something you absolutely have to comment on, why not just dance around it and say some vague bullshit about making fracking safe?

Play the fucking game, and play it to win.

I know she’s in the pockets of megacorporations that support fracking, her record speaks for itself for anyone with half a brain who cares to look into it, most people aren’t going to look into it though.

I don’t support fracking, but I also know if Trump wins then it’s game over, and oil and gas companies might just start a fracking operation from my bedroom and dump their waste in my dog’s water bowl just because they can, and since we’ll be living in a fascist dictatorship hell scape, there’d be no clear path forward to do anything about it.

If Harris wins, fracking stays more or less as it is now, and there’s a path forward, even if it’s a narrow one, to get a better candidate next time around.

But like I said, a lot of people are idiots who refuse to see that bigger picture, they’ll see Harris doing shit like this and just lose interest and not show up on election day or throw their vote away to some third party because they think they’re making a stand.

Fondots , 18 days ago

My mental health is pretty solid, but it’s in spite of capitalism. I do pretty well at managing stress, I don’t have any real mental health concerns or other issues. I’m physically pretty healthy, have a decent head on my shoulders, and am lucky enough to work a job thats very secure and for me is pretty enjoyable and pays well enough that I’m not struggling in any significant way.

But damn-near every ounce of stress or anxiety I ever experience has to do with money. What if I lose my job, what if I have a health problem, what if I need a new car, what if my house burns down, etc.

Big one-time infusion of cash or a decent enough raise would eliminate just about every source of stress I have.

Fondots , 18 days ago

I don’t know, I’ve met a decent amount of Canadians over the years, never got any bad vibes from us. I think the problem is America has more than our fair share of assholes, so they approach us a little skeptically, but if you show you’re not an asshole, I think they like us just fine.

Of course, my biases should be disclosed. Most of the Canadians I’ve met have been from roughly the Toronto area, plus a good handful of French Canadians.

Couple of the officers at the border when I went to Montreal were kind of dicks, but I think that’s more of a universal feature of border crossing and customs officials around the world. Once I was there though no one gave me any shit.

Fondots , 18 days ago (edited 18 days ago)

Poland and Hungary have historically been very close allies since the middle ages, lots of shared culture, history, they’ve faced similar struggles over the years, and generally they’ve always held each other in pretty high regard. They each even have a little poem about how much they like each other

Them polish version translates to something like

Pole and Hungarian brothers be,
good for fight and good for party.
Both are valiant, both are lively,
Upon them may God’s blessings be.

The Hungarian Version

Pole and Hungarian — two good friends,
fighting, and drinking at the end.

Unfortunately there’s been a lot of tension between them in recent years over the war in Ukraine, and their relationship has been deteriorating.

Fondots , 18 days ago

Shave it all off

I’m bald

I do go to get my beard trimmed occasionally though, I just describe what I’m looking for- I like the length, just kind of square it up a bit and make it look neat, and fade in my sideburns.

It helps that I do a decent enough job of keeping it trimmed on my own, I just go in a handful of times a year before weddings and other fancy events when I need to look particularly nice

Fondots , 19 days ago

I used to read a lot, but I lost my love of reading somewhere in high-school/college. Before then I always had a book going, often 2 or 3 at a time. My high school, however pushed reading really hard to the point that certain math classes even assigned books, which left me without enough time to read my own books and just kind of burned me out on reading and I’ve struggled to get back into it. I occasionally manage to get into it for a bit but inevitably fall off of it somewhere after a while.

I started making my way through the dune books a couple years ago. I made it up to God emperor, and stalled out. I was enjoying, but it’s the kind of book I really need to really dedicate some time to reading through it. So that’s been on the back burner for a while. Probably need to restart it when I get back to it. Chunking my way through it a couple pages at a time on my downtime at work like I tend to do isn’t gonna cut it for this one.

I had just started reading The Road before the pandemic, and that just had the wrong vibes for me at that time. Was really enjoying it until I suddenly couldn’t buy toilet paper, then it was all hitting a little too close to home. Haven’t picked that back up yet, but definitely intend to.

I’m slowly working my way through an Esperanto translation of Treasure Island, I’m far from fluent, so that’s slow going but I’m making progress. I’ve seen and loved just about every adaptation of the book, the 1950 movie was a pretty important cornerstone of my childhood and started a lifelong love of pirates, but somehow I never read the book, so I’m killing 2 birds with 1 stone reading the book and working on my Esperanto.

I’m starting to get into Warhammer 40k, so while I save up a bit to start buying and painting minis I’ve started reading some of the books. Decided to start with the Horus Heresy series. I’m currently on the second book, I’m probably not going to read all 60 or so books in this series because I can already tell there’s some definite quality differences between the different authors involved. This seems like it’s gonna be a good fit for me though, there’s a ton of 40k books so there’s always going to be something for me to have lined up as my next book, but they’re light enough reads that I’m not going to burn myself out on them.

Fondots , 18 days ago (edited 18 days ago)

I love treasure planet, and I hate that Disney sort of refuses to do anything with the property. I’m not clamoring for a remake or sequel or anything, I just want there to be more merchandise and such out there for it. The map would make for a great knickknack to display on my shelf (yes, they’re out there, and I may buy one someday)

I went to Disney world for the first (and so far only) time a few months before the movie released, and I feel like someone who had some sway over park operations was excited for it to come out and was trying to drum up some hype, I remember there being some behind the scenes stuff on display somewhere and it had me excited to see it.

And yeah, reading in another language is an interesting experience, like I said I’m far from fluent, so I have to stop a few times every page to look up some words, or cross-reference the English version to make sure I’m understanding a sentence properly (luckily it’s in the public domain so it’s easy to pull up on project Gutenberg) I think this was a good choice for me as a first book in Esperanto, it’s an easy enough reading level, I’m very familiar with the overall story so I have a general framework for what’s supposed to be happening but have no famiarity with the actual text, so imcant just coast by on having read the book before to fill in the gaps in my knowledge.

And I’m just fluent enough to have the occasional opinion on whether I like how something was translated or not. The first time that happened was kind of cool, I figure it means that I am kind of getting the hang of the language if I have an opinion on something like that.

Names are definitely interesting, I’m not sure which other languages have similar features to this, but in Esperanto nouns end with O and there’s various suffixes that might be added on for various reasons, so if you have a name that doesn’t end in an O some of that can get a little awkward. Sometimes names end up getting esperantized, other times they just let it be and you just kind of have to roll with it.

Stop reading here if you don’t want a mini Esperanto lesson. I’d stop myself but I find writing this kind of thing out is helpful for my learning process.

To kind of illustrate what I’m talking about, there’s the English saying that “Hurt people hurt people” meaning that people who have been hurt tend to hurt other people

In Esperanto the sentence would be something like “Vunditaj homoj vundas homojn”

You have the root words vund- having to deal with injuries (from the rame root as “wound”)

And hom- meaning person (same root as the homo in homo sapiens, or the French “homme” for “man” for example)

-o- makes it a noun

-as is a present tense verb

-j- makes it plural

-a- in an adjective

-it- shows that something has been done to something. “Vunda” would be “hurtful,” and “vundita” is “hurt” or “injured”

-n indicates the direction of the action, so which person is the one being hurt and which one is doing the hurting, sentence structure is a little flexible in Esperanto so “homojn vundas vunditaj homoj” in essentially the same sentence as the original, it would probably be understood more like “people are hurt by hurt people,” and if you move the n around to make it “vunditajn homojn vundas homoj” it would be “hurt people are hurt by people”)

So without those vowels at the end of nouns and adjectives, it gets hard to add the j, n, and other suffixes on

And you can kind of play around with those and other suffixes. “Vundo” would be an injury, -e is adverbs, so “vunde” would be something like “hurtfully” or “injuriously,” “vundito” would be a person or thing that has been hurt, “homa” would be an adjective describing something as being human-like, “homas” would theoretically be a verb meaning something like “personing,” (which feels like it pulls from the same millennial slang dictionary as “adulting”) etc.

In a way it’s almost like someone built a language after really enjoying the Calvin and Hobbes strip about how “verbing weirds language”

Also, now that I’m thinking about it, “dolor-” might be more appropriate than “vund-” it’s sort of the difference of being “in pain” vs being “injured.” But that’s sort of in the realm of poetic license and word choice, and it’s kind of cool that I’m at the point where I can start thinking about that kind of thing. I’m too lazy to go back and change what I wrote so I’m leaving it as-is, it illustrates my point well enough.

Fondots , 19 days ago

Some glow in the dark chemicals are called phosphors, and while they’re named after phosphorus, they usually do not contain any phosphorus, zinc sulfide for example. These are the kinds of things you might find on a watch face or stickers or whatever that need to absorb light from some other source first.

To make it even more confusing, phosphorus isn’t actually phosphorescent, its glow is from chemiluminescence, the result of a chemical reaction.

And for what it’s worth, stuff that glows under a black light is fluorescent.

I don’t think phosphorus has ever been used for glowing tattoos, and if it was I’m pretty sure no one is still using it. We’re well outside of my realm of expertise, but it should also be considered that how a chemical enters your body can make a difference in how toxic it is too, there’s a whole lot of chemistry at work in your body, and ingesting something and absorbing it through digestion isn’t necessarily going to have the same effect as absorbing it through your skin, there’s a reason different medications have to be taken oral, allowed to dissolve under your tongue, given as a suppository, intravenously, intramuscularly, subdermally, etc. that said, I’m pretty sure phosphorus is bad no matter how you put it into someone’s body.

Fondots , 22 days ago

I feel like there needs to be at least 2 separate sets of rules for copyright.

For independent artists, I think it’s pretty reasonable that copyright should last for their lifetime and maybe a little longer to make sure that their spouse, children, or other dependants can be cared for before the work goes public domain. We can quibble over exactly how long after death that should be, but that seems pretty fair to me (personally I’m tempted to say 18 years+9 months, so if hypothetically a male artist knocked up his wife immediately before kicking the bucket, that kid would still be able to receive something from their father’s works until they reached adulthood.) And if they don’t have any apparent next of kin, it just expires at death.

But when it’s not an independent artist, and it’s something like Disney, where that legal entity that owns the property could very well be around forever, I think it’s more appropriate to put a hard limit on it, maybe 50 years as long as they’re actively using the property- marketing it, selling merchandise, licensing it out, making it available on streaming, etc. and maybe 15 years if they aren’t doing anything with it (Again, we can quibble over the exact length of time, I picked 50 it’s a nice round number, and 15 because that’s how long a design patent lasts and it felt appropriate)

There’s of course going to be some interplay between those two categories, an independent artist who’s contracted to make something for Disney may retain some rights to that work, so what happens after 15 years? What if that artist is contracted to make something using IP that’s about to expire even sooner? What if an independent artist creates something insanely popular and builds a disney-like megacorporation around it with hundreds of other people all creating derivative works from that original thing, does the copyright stay with that original artist to expire when they die or does it become one of those corporate copyrights that expires in 50 years? And if the latter, does that happen automatically when the company hinsts a certain size or how would that happen?

I definitely don’t have all the answers to all those questions, but as a general framework that feels fair to me.

Fondots , 22 days ago (edited 22 days ago)

An independent artist probably isn’t going to have an employer-sponsored retirement account like a 401k or a pension, etc. like many of us with “normal” jobs have, and are counting on to help our spouses, children, or other dependants should we die before them. Allowing them to retain the rights to an artists work for after death seems to me like it would help fill that same kind of role and also provides them a little protection, since not all artists are wildly successful and may not have been able to save much or anything for retirement/funeral expenses, etc. on their own. I don’t think it needs to last their whole life, their kid could potentially live 100 years which seems excessive and against the spirit of allowing things to go into the public domain, but I think seeing them into adulthood is fair.

Edit: I’m personally contributing to a pension at my job, my wife has never worked there but she still gets to collect that pension after I die, that’s a big part of our collective retirement plans. If we had kids, I’d want to make sure those kids are being provided for out of that pension at least until they’re old enough to live on their own. I think artists would also like to have that kind of safety net for their loved ones after they die.

Fondots , 23 days ago

In Outer Worlds there’s a couple establishments aboard the groundbreaker that could potentially count as fast food by some definition.

The stand on the citadel in mass effect is maybe fast food-ish

I vaguely remember seeing some stands in the background of Babylon 5 that could potentially have been something like fast food, but I never got into Babylon 5 too much so I can’t say much about that, I just have some vague memories of some parts I’ve seen that looked like fast food wouldn’t be out of place.

Pretty much any time there’s a big space station with a city-like interior I assume there’s probably something like fast food somewhere on board, maybe even visible in the background somewhere, though I can’t really think of any particular examples or any time it was specifically highlighted

Fondots , 24 days ago (edited 24 days ago)

Call 911, tell them where it is, explain that you found a trash bag somewhere and you’re concerned it has a dead body in it, don’t disturb it any more than you already have

I work in 911 dispatch, from my end of things this is a very straightforward call. Verify your location, one or two short lines of notes, send a cop out to check it out.

I’ve taken a few calls like this, luckily it’s always just been trash or at worst a dead animal.

One time the responding officer found some bones in the bag and was pretty sure they weren’t human, but called out our on-call coroner to be sure who confirmed that it was just a deer or something.

Similarly I once had a call from an off-duty coroner reporting a “strong smell of decomp” from the woods near a gas station or something. I guess if anyone would know it would be them. Sent a cop out, sure enough, it was a dead deer.

It’s very rare that anything like this is ever as exciting as your imagination makes you think it might be. Still, always better to call if you’re unsure.

Fondots , 24 days ago

It varies a bit from one area to another, but a lot of places have moved to a central dispatch model where basically everything goes through the 911 center one way or another. It’s usually best to just call 911 and cut out the middle men, worst case scenario they’ll tell you it’s not an emergency and who to call, maybe even connect you to them directly. Even if your area works differently and they do actually want to dispatch non emergencies from the station, you really need to be a nuisance before anyone even dreams of trying to get you in trouble for misusing 911, no one wants to do that paperwork or go to court for a one-off call.

Source- I am a 911 dispatcher.

If you do call the non-emergency number, one of 4 things is usually going to happen (in my county)

1. The call comes right into us anyway, a lot of stations aren’t staffed 24/7 so when they’re not there to answer the phone it rolls over to us, or sometimes they even publish or give out a direct number to us instead of their actual inside line because most of the time we’re going to have to deal with it anyway.
2. The station forwards you to us
3. The station tells you to hang up and call 911.
4. The station takes down the information, then after they hang up with you, they call us and relay it to us (and usually misses half the details we’d like to have)

Pretty much the only things the people answering the phones at the station are good for is answering general administrative questions- “can I get fingerprinted for my job?” “did anyone turn in some lost keys?” “How do I get a permit to…?” “How do i get a copy of a report?” “How do I pay my fine?” “Where was my car towed to?” Etc.

If you need a cop to do something, even if it’s just to take a report, your best bet is usually calling 911.

Fondots , 23 days ago

If you really want to remain anonymous for some reason, call from a payphone (they still exist,) use a burner phone, borrow a phone from a random passerby, wear a mask so no one can recognize you in case there’s security cameras, make sure you’re not seen getting into your own car or walking home, change your clothes somewhere in the middle, etc.

If you call from your own phone number, if we and/or the cops care enough, it’s not all that hard to get phone records and get your info.

But I’m also going to let you in on something- we’re not going to care. The cops may have a couple follow up questions for you (like maybe “how often do you walk this way,” "so they can try to establish how long it’s been there,) that I’m probably not going to ask on the initial 911 call. My job isn’t to take a full report and investigate and interrogate everyone, my job is to make sure cops are sent out to do all of that, and if you don’t give us a way to contact you back, you’re making it harder for them to investigate the incident.

And why? They’re not going to tell anyone who the random passerby was who found the bag, they’re not going to try to blame it on you, and honestly wanting to remain anonymous probably makes you sound a lot more suspicious than if you just gave your name and they’re probably going to put more effort into figuring out who you were and trying to drag you in for questioning than they would have otherwise.

Fondots , 23 days ago

My thing is that I get so many callers who are really bad at making a determination for themselves what is and isn’t an emergency or who to call. They’ll call a 10 digit police non emergency line because someone’s having a heart attack or their house is on fire or something else really urgent instead of just calling 911 or even instead of calling the fire department or ambulance station, or someone got stabbed and they call the wrong towns non emergency line, maybe even a town with the same name in a completely different state or even country (I once got a call for a town in Australia with a similar name to one of ours) so we kind of have to act like those non emergency lines are also potential emergencies.

Yes, they do go to the back of the queue, and in some places that’s more of an issue than others. In my jurisdiction, if the phone rings 2 or 3 times before it gets answered, emergency or not, that’s a lot for us and we’ve been fortunate that our staffing and call volumes haven’t been bad enough for that to really come into play except for some really bad major incidents (mostly severe storms and such, in which case, most people aren’t bothering with non emergencies anyway)

Some places do have longer queues and it could come into play, but I’ve had to transfer callers all over the country, usually those transfers end up going through on a 10-digit non emergency line because of how the transfer works, so we’re going to the back of the queue, and it’s pretty rare that we have to wait long for an answer. It’s less of an issue overall than you probably think.

Those non emergency calls can also often be handled very quicky. For a basic non emergency call, I’m getting an address, name, phone number, and like 1 or 2 short lines of notes, I’ve entered probably thousands of meet complainant calls (officer just needs to go out and meet with the caller to take a report) where the only thing I put in the notes was “RE: FRAUD,” “RE: HARASSMENT,” “RE: ONGOING ISSUE WITH NEIGHBORS, NOT IN PROGRESS” etc. If the caller is even marginally cooperative and not too long-winded it can take me like 30 seconds, they’re not tying up the queue for long.

One of our neighboring counties does have staffing and call volume issues, and it’s not uncommon to have to wait a minute or two for someone to answer, and sometimes even longer (they got hit hard during the George Floyd riots a few years back, and a couple times I had transfers to them during that that had we wait like 10 minutes in the actual 911 queue)

But a lot of the callers for them tell me that they tried calling the station directly or 311 only to be told to call 911 instead, even for some things that our stations could handle directly (and again, ours can’t handle much)

Location is also a big thing, having a landline address or cell phone location is a big time saver and we don’t get that on non emergency lines. A lot of our callers have no idea where they are, what police department covers their area, etc. (you’d also be amazed at how many people don’t know their own home address) and so a lot of times just trying to verify the location where something happened/is happening is the longest and most difficult part of the call.

It’s also sometimes surprisingly hard to find local contact info. Even with access to a database of other 911 centers, Google, etc. I’ve occasionally struggled to find the contact info for some other jurisdictions when I’m trying to transfer a caller, once or twice I struck out from the usual channels and had to call a neighboring jurisdiction and ask them to be transferred or get the correct number from them.

It pays to be aware of any special situations in your area, if they do have high call volumes, staffing issues, etc. and calling with a non emergency can actually create significant delays

Or we have a couple departments that have chosen to opt out of using our county PSAP for police dispatch (although we still handle fire and EMS for them) so in those areas it is often preferable to call them directly instead of needing us to connect you to them, although that location info is still very useful and again they don’t get it if you call them directly, so there’s been cases where someone calls them directly, but can’t tell them where they are, and they end up telling the caller to call 911 so we can get that location info for them.

But at the end of the day, the point of 911 is that no matter where you are, even if you don’t really know where you are, you know what number to call to get in touch with police/fire/EMS. Hammering on people about what is/isn’t an emergency is kind of antithetical to that, and overall most areas are moving away from that.

If you are absolutely certain that your call isn’t an emergency, you have the time to look up the phone number, and you’re ok with very likely being told to call someone else, or call back at a different time, maybe getting transferred around a few times, etc. then by all means please try the non emergency line. If you’re not sure, if you can’t wait, if you don’t have the phone number, if you need a cop to go do something now, then probably call 911.

Fondots , 23 days ago (edited 22 days ago)

So there’s 2 aspects to this

What cops theoretically could do if they’re properly trained and motivated and working on the crime of the century with the media and mayor’s office breathing down their neck

And there’s what they’re actually going to do for anything else.

Theoretically it’s almost impossible to be truly anonymous in the world we live in today. If you make a phone call, there’s phone records the cops can get access to, security cameras everywhere, if you call from a deactivated cell phone or take out your SIM card they can try to get the the IMEI number and see who that phone was last registered to, if you submit something online they can try to trace your IP address, etc. they can try to track down witnesses who may be able to ID you, etc.

Basically none of that is ever going to happen just to trace down a witness that called 911 who’s probably not going to be cooperative anyway. People watch too many CSI TV shows.

And good luck trying to get cops to try getting fingerprints for anything short of murder, and even then they’re going to be looking for the suspect, not a random passerby who called it in. They’re also probably not going to get useful prints off a payphone because 10,000 people have probably had their fingers all over that phone since the last time someone bothered to wipe it down. And if your prints aren’t already in the system, they’re not going to be able to tie them to you anyway (although from the way you’re talking about it I suspect a lot of people probably have previous records and been fingerprinted)

The practical answer is call from the payphone, call from a deactivated phone without a sim card, call from a borrowed phone, call from a TextNow or similar service number. That is more than enough anonymity that in all but the most extreme serious crimes the cops aren’t going to put in any real effort to try to track you down as a witness. They may put in a little more effort if they think you’re a suspect, but it’s usually pretty clear if that’s the case. Most of the time, they’re probably not even going to bother looking up the phone records even if you call into the station from your own number.

If the department has it, you can also try an anonymous tip line or submit the tip online. Those may not be checked very often, so I wouldn’t necessarily count on that if you have an emergency you want to be addressed quickly.

Really, just call, they’re not trying to bust people for other stuff for calling in an emergency, they’re not ratting people out as the one who called, that’s all counter productive and just makes more work for themselves in the long run. Make the call and leave the area if you want, we can’t make you stay there and you should have at least a few minutes to skedaddle before the cops show.

Edit: call from a nearby business’ phone or a borrowed cell phone, and just don’t leave your name and try to stay off a security camera while you’re doing it. Unless you’re really distinctive looking, odds are the person who let you use the phone is probably not going be able to give much of a description of you if cops ask for some reason

Fondots , 23 days ago

I think the worst case scenario is us getting hit by a hurricane at the same time our local nuclear plant has a major meltdown, there’s widespread cellular network outages, our dispatch center catches fire and we have to evacuate to our backup center, and there’s also a mass shooting incident going on while someone’s trying to deliver a baby over the phone with someone in a moving car speeding down the highway refusing to pull over and also fighting with their husband and causing multiple accidents.

Serious answer- my agency is lucky, even with handling basically every emergency and non emergency call in our county, our staffing and call volume are good enough that even a long wait for us to answer the phone is usually only like 2 or 3 rings. My coworkers are good at what we do, our training is better than what some other centers get, we can keep the calls moving, there’s about 20-30 of us on at any given time depending on the shift and staffing and such, and there have been major incidents where we’ve handled something like 1000 calls in the space of an hour or two and no one had any significant delay in getting their call answered. As a general rule, we don’t even put callers on hold regardless of how minor the incident is, or if they called 911 or 10-digit, we just handle the call and move on.

Non emergency calls, and honestly even a lot of actual emergency calls are a lot more simple than you might think. The majority of my calls have maybe a dozen or so words in the notes, many are just one or two words. I’m not taking a full report, I’m getting a location, a brief description of what’s happening, and some general safety information, giving them some brief instructions if necessary, then the callers name (if they’ll give it to me) and phone number and I’m off to answer the next call. I’m not taking a full report, I’m not an officer I’m not taking a full report that’s the cops’ job, I’m sending responders to go handle the emergency.

Every situation is different, sometimes I’ve had to stay on longer, I’ve had a couple calls I’ve been on for over an hour because the situation kept evolving and we needed constant updates from the caller, but that’s an extreme outlier. Most of the time my calls are well less than 5 minutes, often less than 2 or even less than 1 minute and between all of us we move through the queue quickly.

If we’re not busy, I can take my time, go full customer service, and help people with all of their stupid problems that are in no way a police issue. If we get busy, I can cut right to the chase, get what I need, and hang up.

Some agencies have higher call volumes, major staffing issues, and frankly are sometimes just bad at what they do, and that can cause delays. Some places it is a real issue, but I’ve had to transfer calls all over the country and most of the time it’s a non-issue. Overall, dispatchers know how to keep the queue moving, when they can slow down and take their time, and when they need to power through.

Also it’s a somewhat self-correcting problem. If there’s a long non-emergency queue, there’s probably a long 911 queue as well, and someone who doesn’t really have an emergency is probably going to hang up pretty quickly instead of waiting 2, 3, 5, 10, 20+ minutes for an answer for someone to answer. They’ll hang up and try the non emergency line, or try back later, or drive themselves to the station or hospital, or maybe just decide it’s not a big enough deal to worry about.

There are always weird exceptions and edge cases in our job, there’s very little we can say that will apply to all situations in all dispatch centers across the country. To some extent, you just kind of have to try being aware of what things are like where you are. If you’re not sure what to do, that’s what’s 911 is for, just try to keep things to-the-point, and listen to what we’re asking/telling you.

Fondots , 22 days ago

Another thing that just occurred to me, is that if we harp on people too hard about only calling 911 when it’s a “real” emergency, they start getting paranoid and are reluctant to call sometimes when they really should call

I’ve seen it happen in person, one time I was over my friend’s house and we had a short but really intense storm roll through. We look outside and a big tree on his property is leaning and very obviously about to fall over the road and probably take down some wires.

He starts talking about calling the township and the electric company and like 3 other agencies to get it taken care of and starts looking up phone numbers.

And I’m there telling him to just call 911. I get about 50 calls just like that every time there’s a storm, it’s not a big deal- you know your address, your cross streets, what town you live in, you’re not a moron and not freaking out and can explain the issue intelligibly and succinctly, so you’re better than like 70% of the calls I get on any given day, the entire call will last you like 30 seconds. We have all the contact info to get anything we need out there to deal with it and can do it blindfolded because we do it every time there’s a storm.

And even with a 911 dispatcher, standing there telling him to just call 911, he was really reluctant to do it because to him it wasn’t a “real emergency”

And of course everyone has a different threshold for what a “real” emergency is. I’ll get people calling in cool as a cucumber to calmly report that their daughter just got stabbed like it’s something that just happens to them every other Tuesday, and I’ll get people losing their minds like it’s the end of the world as we know it because some road construction is too loud (and of course that same person would probably call in just as angry that there’s a pothole in the road and they’re angry it hasn’t been fixed yet)

I have a thousand other stupid reasons people called, some came in on non emergency lines, some on 911, and just as many stories of people who called in actual emergencies on a non emergency line for one reason or another.

Fondots , 25 days ago

For what it’s worth, I work in 911 dispatch, so I’ve heard pretty much every reason someone could call the police, some good, some not so good, and there’s always weird exceptions or edge cases where a situation that I normally wouldn’t personally think warrants police involvement can get tipped over the edge (regardless of whether I think they’re needed or not, if someone calls asking for police, I’m dispatching them, if the cops want to ignore the call, that can be on them)

My general rule for fights/domestics, is I’ll call for situations that are or look/sound like they’re about to become physically violent, neighbors yelling at each other next door-not my problem. If I start hearing them throwing things around, I start hearing mention of weapons, they’re suddenly out in the street, etc. then I’ll call.

I’ll also call when it’s just a verbal argument in a situation where that sort of behavior is totally uncalled for, like an irate customer yelling and screaming in a store, manager is asking them to leave and they’re refusing.

Or if I witness a crime where the victim is a person, small business, or public property.

Situations where a person is or might be in significant danger or distress.

Reckless drivers if they’re really excessive, not your run of the mill bad driver or asshole speeding and running shop signs, you need to be a couple notches worse than that- swerving all over the road, or speeding to a ridiculous degree.

Certain road obstructions and other traffic hazards.

When in doubt, I say err on the side of calling. Take a deep breath, keep a level head, stick to the facts, and answer the dispatcher’s questions, and please, for the love of God don’t start your call off with anything like “well I guess it’s not really an emergency but…” that’s basically our “it didn’t scan, so it must be free” and don’t apologize repeatedly for calling, if you feel bad about tying up an emergency line, all of that apologizing just makes the call longer which means you’re just tying up the line even more.

The situation is different from one area to another, but overall a lot of places have moved to a sort of central dispatch model, more or less everything is going to go through the 911 center and very little gets dispatched from your local police station. In a lot of places, even if you call the non emergency number there’s a good chance it’s coming to us, and if it does go to someone at the station there’s a good chance they’re going to transfer you to us, or just take the information and call us after you hang up. In most cases I’d prefer you just called 911 and cut out the middle man, especially if you don’t know exactly where you are so I at least have a landline address or cellular location to work with. The station can handle administrative things, getting a copy of a report you already filed, answering general questions, lost & found, etc. but if you need a cop to do something, even if it’s just give you a phone call, that’s probably going to come through us.

In your situation, I probably would have called when someone was banging on your door. That kind of tells me that the situation was out of hand and was potentially even presenting a threat to yourself. You seem to understand that as well since you went for your gun. If there’s a situation where you think you may need to defend yourself and you have the time to do so, you should probably be calling 911.

I probably also would have called the front desk about the yelling. Cops may not care about your noise complaints, but the hotel probably has their own noise rules, and if the guests are breaking them, management can have them trespassed, and the cops will care a bit more about that.

Final thoughts, since I’m somewhat on the inside, I have a pretty good handle on the overall attitude of the cops in my county. Overall, I trust them not to show up and shoot someone having a psych episode, or be too unreasonably racist, or otherwise do something that’s going to end up on the news in a bad way. Certain officers/departments I trust more than others, and I’d be more or less willing to call about minor issues based on that. In a situation where I don’t know the local cops I’d err more on the side of not calling. My overall guidance of “if your not sure, call” still applies through.

Fondots , 26 days ago (edited 25 days ago)

One of the interesting things that sticks out to me personally that lends credence to the idea that the Bible is just kind of a bunch of half-remembered stories all mashed together is Barabbas- the guy that Pontius Pilate supposedly pardoned instead of Jesus.

In some versions, Barabbas is given the first name “Jesus”

And “Barabbas” could potentially come from “bar abba” in Hebrew Aramaic (although Hebrew “ben av” or “ben aba” is not far off) meaning “son of the father”

He was imprisoned and sentenced to execution due to taking part in an insurrection against the Roman empire.

The two characters- “Jesus, son of the father, and sentenced to death for sedition” and “Jesus, son of God, sentenced to die for claiming to be king of the Jews” sound a hell of a lot like they’re referring to the same dude to me.

That’s either one of the biggest coincidences in all of history, or someone heard two different versions of the same story and mashed them together.

Or maybe it’s just sort of a 1st century version of the saying that “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom-fighter.”

Fondots , 25 days ago

I’m not too sure where I first picked up the idea, for some reason I think it may have been one of the videos on the Useful Charts YouTube channel, but in general it all kind of fits together to me, and I of course kind of put my own little bit of spin into it myself. Unfortunately I don’t have exact sources to cite directly to where I first heard this theory put together.

For starters you can go to the Bible itself with Mathew 27:16-17

16 At that time they had a well-known prisoner whose name was Jesus Barabbas. 17 So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah?”

I misspoke in my earlier comment, and I edited it accordingly, the language would have been Aramaic, which is what most scholars agree is the language Jesus mostly spoke, although it is a pretty closely related language to Hebrew. I speak neither Hebrew nor Aramaic so I kind of just have to take it on faith that some of the people I’ve seen discussing this online have some idea what they’re talking about. You can kind of piece it together from some common bits of Hebrew “bar mitzvah” literally translates to something like “son of the commandments” and I believe in modern Hebrew, the word for father in “av” with “aba” being commonly used in some places/cultures.

There’s also some that would say it comes from “bar rabban” (may be misspelling that) meaning “son of the teacher” instead of father, which you can compare to “Rabbi”

This comes from an era when people didn’t really have official last names, depending on who you asked, Jesus could have been known by quite a few different names, Jesus the carpenter, Jesus son of Joseph/mary, the son of God, the teacher, the guy from Nazareth, the religious weirdo, the insurrectionist, of the house of David, etc.

I believe in modern Hebrew “ben” is more often used as the “son of” prefix. And those sort of patronymic names are pretty common in semitic languages, in Arabic you’ve probably heard a few people with “bin” in their name. It’s basically the same idea as Irish/Scottish names that begin with mc/Mac/O’, or names that end in “son”

As for Barabbas having been involved in an insurrection, going back to the bible we have Mark 15:7

A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising.

Israel experienced more than a few different Jewish uprisings/revolts/riots/insurrections/whatever name you wanted to call it. They weren’t exactly happy to be under Roman rule, and there were always a bunch of different political or religious movements trying to do something about it and usually not having much success. It’s not unlikely that Jesus is sort of a composite of several different folks making trouble for the Romans.

I’m no scholar, my knowledge on this doesn’t really go a whole lot deeper than what I’ve said here, and I can’t say how widespread this particular little conspiracy theory is in academic circles, I won’t say that I’m totally sold on it myself, I’m very open to someone else saying differently, but it’s something to consider, and it looks like a hell of a coincidence to just be a coincidence to me

Fondots , 25 days ago

I’m not sure why, but a lot of people seem to have a really hard time looking up information about stuff from the Bible. I remember probably about a year ago not too long after I first joined Lemmy commenting on a thread from some guy whose sister fell into some fundamentalist Christian flat earther bullshit and he was trying to figure out where she got her info from and said that he couldn’t find anything about “the firmament”

It’s on like the first page of the Bible. And just googling “firmament” will get you plenty of good sources about the firmament and what it’s supposed to be.

Fondots , 25 days ago

I was hoping a hebrew-speaker would chime in to confirm that I at least wasn’t too far off-base with that part. Talking about languages I don’t know is always a little uneasy for me because every language has its own weird quirks and something is always lost in translation.

Fondots , 27 days ago

I bought a case of hugs for a bbq I had over the summer for my friends who are now all into their 30s. Figured it would be a fun little hit of nostalgia.

They were more popular than I expected, and actually better than I remember them being.

Fondots , 27 days ago

Going sci-fi, but I think I remember there being a thing in the altered carbon books that kind of relates to this.

In that series most people have a device implanted that can store their consciousness, it can be backed up, etc. if you die your consciousness can be uploaded to a new body, maybe a clone of your own, maybe another spare body no one was using. They get around long space flights by just sending the stored consciousness into a new body at the destination, prisoners can be uploaded to storage and their bodies used elsewhere, etc. and the only way to reliably kill someone is to destroy that device, and if they’re rich enough they may have a remote backup so even that isn’t a guarantee.

So murder victims are routinely uploaded into new bodies to testify at their own murder trials.

Catholics oppose this though, they believe that your soul is separate from your consciousness and can’t be stored in that device, backed up, etc. and so to respect their religious rights they can’t be popped into a new body to testify.

I imagine that necromancy would have the same and probably stronger opposition from a lot of religious people and we’d run into the same kind of legal issues.

Fondots , 28 days ago

I bite my nails, have as long as I can remember, and honestly don’t care particularly whether I continue or stop.

That said, I once accidentally kicked the habit for a couple weeks in probably the strangest way possible

I’ve heard of people getting small magnets implanted under their skin in order to sense electrical/magnetic fields. This idea was always interesting to me but I’m not ready to commit to implants.

But curiosity got the best of me at one point and I got some tiny neodymium magnets and super glued them to my fingernails.

It worked, probably not as well as implants since the magnets couldn’t react as well since they were glued down and couldn’t wiggle around under my skin, but I could definitely feel some things (strongest reactions I got were probably the forklift charger at my job and an electric pencil sharpener)

I didn’t do the neatest job of gluing them on, so there was a bit of super glue covering a good bit of my nails.

And that bit of weird texture from the glue was kind of off-putting and every time my hand absentmindedly went to my mouth it gave me a reminder not to do that.

So for a couple weeks until the magnets fell off and the glue wore away and I got sick of reapplying them, I had nails for the first time I can remember.

Slipped back into my old habits pretty quickly though.

I didn’t feel like my life was in any particular way better by having nails, though to be fair I don’t have the worst or most-extreme nail biting habit out there, and I didn’t particularly appreciate having to trim and file my nails and the crud that managed to accumulate under them.

Fondots , 29 days ago

I never had much luck dating, tried shooting my shot with a handful of female friends I thought I was getting vibes from, never even got a first date, but stayed friends with them.

The only 2 times I successfully ended up dating someone, the girl took the initiative and kissed me first.

First one was someone I’d just recently met, didn’t really pick up on any vibes, maybe she was putting out a ton of them and I was too much of a dumbass to pick up on them, I just thought she seemed cool and wanted to hang out with her, didn’t really have any romantic intentions in mind. Then she kissed me, I kind of had to quickly rewire my brain and I decided “ok, let’s see where this goes.” Didn’t work out long term, but we had some fun for a while. I did not stay friends with her, she got kind of weird towards the end, and I found out years later that she was very likely cheating on me towards the end, I wasn’t my best self at the time either but I wasn’t a cheater just a stupid teenager, I tried to leave the door open to remain friends but she wasn’t having any of it.

The second time I’d been friends with her for a good long while, again, no romantic intentions on my part, she was cool, we hung out mostly with other friends, sometimes not. She kissed me as we were both leaving a party at the same time getting into our own cars. Really short circuited my brain a little and could not make sense of it. Kind of had to take a day to process it and talk to her to confirm that we were gonna try it out and see where it went. She’d apparently been laying on the flirting extra heavy and I picked up on absolutely none of it. I ended up marrying her, coming up on 6 years married and close to a decade together.

For a 3rd data point, there was a girl I really liked in high school. I’m pretty sure she was flirting with me pretty hard, and several other people even told me in pretty straightforward terms that she liked me. Never quite got out of my own head enough to make a move beyond some clumsy, mostly-joking-but-not-really flirting. I think I was kind of waiting for her to make it clear to me what she wanted in an unambiguous way, and she never quite did it in a way my brain interpreted as an “all systems go” signal.

For some context, the first time I was about 18 or 19 years old, and I started dating my wife in my mid 20s, my failed attempts were all scattered around my early 20s. I’m probably a little neurodivergent in some way, some very mild degree of autism if I had to guess, and depending on who you ask I’m either a shy extrovert or an unusually outgoing introvert (the bit in Clerks about Randall hating people but loving gatherings resonates with me.)

I think the takeaway here is to go for it and don’t beat around the bush. Keep an open mind that he may not be into you that way, but that means he doesn’t want to lose your friendship either. If it’s going to happen, one of you needs to make a move, and there’s a chance that he’s just as stupid as I am and hasn’t even really considered you romantically but if you force his hand he may go “oh shit, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, why didn’t I think of that”

And even if stuff does implode, it doesn’t work out, and you don’t manage to stay friends, it’s probably better than spending the rest of your life wondering about what could have been. I love my wife, wouldn’t trade her for the world, and I’m confident that there’s no one in the world who would be a better match for me, but I do wonder sometimes what sort of fun I could have had with my high school crush, even if it wouldn’t have gone anywhere long-term. A couple weeks, months, or years of fun times would have been worth it. With the other girl I dated, even though things didn’t work out, and I think we mutually dislike each other now, I still think fondly of the times we had together regardless of the unpleasantness that came after, if I got stuck in a time loop and ended up back then, I’d still date her even knowing it wasn’t going anywhere.

Unfortunately I have no particular tips for improving conversation. Somehow I seem to do alright, but I couldn’t, for the life of me, explain how I do it.

Fondots , 1 month ago

Looking down on clouds is a pretty surreal experience

I once went on a backpacking trip, our itinerary had us camping near the top of a mountain, just a little shy of 12,000ft and we knew there would be no potable water at the top, so we had our hot meal for the day at lunch since freeze dried backpacking food needs water, so we could refill and get through the next day.

As we’re making our way up the mountain, a thick fog rolls in. By the time we get to camp, we’re all pretty miserable, we’re tired and starting to feel the altitude a little, everything is cold and damp, we have a dinner of jerky and trail mix and such, we set up our tents and go the fuck to sleep.

The next day we wake up, the fog has gone, and it’s a beautiful day. We make our way to the top of the mountain and look down at the valley below and we see a cloud.

It then dawned on us that the fog the night before wasn’t just fog, it was a cloud we hiked through and set up camp in.

The next time a mattress salesman tries to give you the “it’s like sleeping on a cloud” line, fucking run, clouds suck.

Fondots , 1 month ago

My wife’s family used to have a vacation home on Ocracoke. One year her mom bought some romance novel for a beach read that was set on Ocracoke, it seemed appropriate.

It was pretty clear that the writer had never been to Ocracoke or even bothered looking at Google maps because they talked about the cliffs by the sea.

It’s a glorified sandbar, just about the biggest elevation changes you’ll find are some dunes and the curb stepping off a sidewalk onto the road, nothing even remotely resembling a cliff.

Fondots , 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago)

Laws and regulations will vary a bit depending on what country you live in, but assuming you’re in the US the process is pretty simple but involves some studying

Pass the test, buy a radio, start talking.

There’s 3 classes of license- technician, general, and extra that give you permission to use different bands and modes, extra of course gives you the most options, technician the fewest. If you pass your technician exam you can usually go ahead and take your general exam right then and there, and if you pass that you can go ahead and get extra all in the same sitting.

Finding somewhere to take the test is the tricky part, but if you look up amateur radio clubs in your area they probably have it published somewhere and I think the ARRL website has a list of places/clubs that do it and when. I think some of them have started offering an online test since covid but I don’t really know how that works.

There’s a license/test fee, don’t remember what that is off the top of my head, I want to say around $40 but don’t quote me.

As far as studying, there’s a lot of resources out there, apps, reference books, the FCC publishes the question pool they use for the test, etc.

As far as radios, you can get a baofeng handheld for like $20 on Amazon, a lot of hams give them shit but they probably also have one or two kicking around because they’re so cheap. They don’t have a lot of bells and whistles but they’re probably the cheapest way to just start talking to other hams.

Radios get expensive quick, that’s one of the reasons I haven’t gotten too into it, I have better things to drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on, but you can find some good deals on used equipment, ebay, flea markets, etc.

Start with a baofeng, talk to other hams, maybe go to club meetings or events, figure out what else you want to do and go from there.

Also ham is not an acronym, no need to capitalize, I believe the consensus is that it originated because amateur radio operators were more ham-fisted in their radio usage than professional radio operators so they started calling them hams.

Fondots , 1 month ago

Yeah, listening is totally allowed, just don’t transmit without a license. Depending on the radio there’s often a way to lock out the PTT button so you don’t accidentally key up.

Programming the radio can sometimes be a bit of a pain in the ass, CHIRP is a free program that’s often recommended for baofengs, you’ll also need to figure out what repeaters are in your area so you know what frequencies to listen to

Fondots , 1 month ago

They probably haven’t seen a lot of them and may not recognize the names off the top of their head, but I have a hunch that if/when they do see them, damn each and every one is going to give them a couple little aha moments where they recognize that something else they’ve seen has parodied or referenced these movies, or that it’s where a meme comes from.

And I’d agree that Silence of the Lambs is probably the most important of the series by a longshot, but one book and a movie adaptation does not a franchise make in my mind and I think that Hannibal Lecter is a big enough character in the public mind (because the Silence of the Lambs movie) that the series as a whole kind of gets a pass

Fondots , 1 month ago

I think by the definition I gave they’d qualify as a franchise, although for those 3 properties it kind of feels a little wrong to me and maybe I need to rethink my definition a little because they’re kind of self-contained shows, they don’t really branch out into anything larger than themselves.

Personally I think the IT crowds appeal is somewhat limited, at least in the US (it may have more widespread appeal in its native UK, I genuinely don’t know,) to sort of the nerd/techy demographic. The lines certainly get blurry because nerdy types have a lot of influence on how memes spread, but I don’t know that it has the same impact on pop culture in general as the other two.

I’m also not certain how much staying power friends has outside of the people who were watching it or at least remember it being on when it first aired. I’m not exactly plugged into what gen z and alpha are watching, but i don’t think I hear it come up amongst them very often, and I’m not even sure younger millennials care for it all that much.

The office I think has probably cemented it’s place in pop culture whether we consider it a franchise or not. Which is kind of a shame for me personally, because I could never get into it.