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mysticpickle ,

Complete barbarism. Doesn’t even have the three seashells lol

derin ,
@derin@lemmy.beru.co avatar

Or you can just buy a $300 Toto washlet that has all the same features, lol.

Most of these are just luxury models that come pre installed on some designer toilet. Get a normal toilet, install a basic washlet, and enjoy the benefits of the 20th century. (yes, I’m implying that if you only use toilet paper to clean yourself that you’re living a pre-20th century life. That’s okay, you do you)

Toribor ,
@Toribor@corndog.social avatar

Toilet paper is too futuristic for me. I wipe my ass with a communal stick.

Mushroomm ,

You guys wipe?

GigglyBobble ,

You can tell the author had tons of fun writing this.

rbesfe ,

American toilet companies slowly approaching where Japan was 10+ years ago

GigglyBobble ,

No way are the Japanese ones that expensive though.

Apollonius_Cone ,

Does anyone really give a shit?

Zibobwa , (edited )

Daily. Sometimes more frequently.

hansl ,

Aaah to be young again.

DingoBilly ,

Pretty interesting, toilets haven’t really changed much for decades but I could see a bunch of ways they could provide useful information to you.

Lol at the bloomers in the other threads though who hate change.

elouboub ,
@elouboub@kbin.social avatar

Any toilet that still flushes is weak, archaic shit. Delft worked on a toilet that burns up shit using plasma.

jordanlund ,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

Was at the HLTH 2023 conference in Vegas this week, they had a toilet seat with a blood pressure and pulse monitor and pulse oximeter.

Based on users weight and weight distribution it could even track multiple people.

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Blood pressure is still pending FDA approval.

mddionline.com/…/sitting-new-monitoring-thanks-to…

Buddahriffic ,

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Nice dodge they did there.

YeetPics ,
@YeetPics@mander.xyz avatar

like this?

pete_the_cat ,

“I give you happy poopy time!”

TheOneWithTheHair OP ,
@TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world avatar

Banging on door

Voice beyond the door: “Dad! Don’t start pooping! We just lost the Internet! Hold it!”

krazyjimmy08 ,

“Sorry, you know too much.”

tdawg ,

No. I’m tired of everything becomeing “high tech.” Stop putting buttons and lights and nobs on everything. I just want to buy it once and not worry about it needing a fucking wifi connection

idunnololz ,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah but now you can see the weight of your poops and compete with family and friends on the leaderboard.

chakan2 ,
@chakan2@lemmy.world avatar

SaS

devfuuu ,

With some mobile apps, in app currency and some gamiffication (aka predatory tactics) like trophies and leader boards and pay for win features, I could see making lots of money from poop a very legit business.

chakan2 ,
@chakan2@lemmy.world avatar

And thus the smart toilet was born…only 9.99$ a month for unlimited flushes, or .99$ per flush.

(Additional water usage charges may apply)

mxcory ,

youtu.be/Ebo0aLLPYwA?si=ZXtBCSSGPB4yFoZl

altima_neo ,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

I just want one with a built in, automatic poop knife

AngryCommieKender ,

Just stick a garbage disposal in there that turns on every flush. As long as you aren’t shitting out whole nuts and bones it should work.

fristislurper ,
@fristislurper@feddit.nl avatar

Way ahead of you: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maceration_(sewage)?wprov=s…

shasta ,

Luckily, you can just choose to not buy this one

glad_cat ,

Literal “internet of shit,” also ridiculously expensive.

Lifecoach5000 ,

I’ve got something similar to the Bio Bidet BB-2000 Bidet Toilet Seat I bought during the great toilet paper sell out of 2020. Worth every penny of the $400 I spent. I feel like a king everytime I sit down.

Rai ,

Bidet changed my life. I fear pooping in public now.

bjoern_tantau ,
@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de avatar

I’m not paying $20,000 for every flush.

TheOneWithTheHair OP ,
@TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world avatar

I merely posted this as it’s “a thing” now. I think we’re putting IoT into too much. It’s a marketing phase. Apple watches are nice, but I don’t own one. Back in 2015 when they introduced the $10,000 to $17,000 18-karat gold Apple Watch (which is now obsolete), it was a fad thing for the rich crowd. Just like when Dan Quayle bought George HW Bush a solid gold toilet paper holder, this is a pretty for the elite.

I don’t see too many people buying these, but at $20K a piece, how many do you have to sell?

bjoern_tantau ,
@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de avatar

Reminds me of a Dilbert comic. “Our target demographic are rich idiots”

GuyDudeman ,
@GuyDudeman@lemmy.world avatar

Ahh, back when we thought Dilbert was antiwork.

Buddahriffic ,

If your business is bitching about something that sucks, you might find yourself wanting it to keep sucking. And depending on how much of a piece of shit you are, you might even take steps to ensure it keeps sucking if you can.

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